165 Days Before College

[Everyday]

Hello 👋 🤗 

 

Finally, a new Page!

 

Last week I arrived at work actually super early even if I was tired. I took my work more seriously and man, it's fucking hard. I called my clients, once emailed them, asked for help, and set up campaigns. It took me longer than I expected.

 

I didn't have any new dates. Just some weird intersections. A girl told me she just wants to suck dick. It wasn't real right? I said hello on Instagram and she said do I know you? I read the description of her first pics - don't message me if you don't know me. There are fake accounts who pretend it's me. I felt so embarrassed for falling for that. But after a few days she asked me on Instagram why I seen her message. So was it real?

Black Friday was nuts! We had 140 orders! Last year we had none. My friend had around 1700. Damn! My profit isn't much but I'm going somewhere. I told to a friend about the crazy amount of orders and he asked for the profit. The profit isn't that much tho. But Im learning a lot.

Last weekend I felt very sad that that guy didn't call me. I put all my hopes into books

 

Edited November 9 by Everyday

[Everyday]

Hello 🤗 

Work has been quite difficult at my job since I started actually giving a shit. I have to call my clients, be sure they are doing good, follow up, optimize campaigns and so on. I am so used to do the bear minimum. 

I m not feeling great overall. I'm impatient to make more money and it will take longer than I expected. 

I am told my dad I want to buy a car and he offered to help me. I feel bad that I have focused so much on my business and didn't even give a fuck about getting that skill. 

I made a list with all the things I would rather do than drive, work on my weaknesses and so on. Pathetic. 

 

I finally looked up how much I spent last few months. I spent way more than I expected. That's not good man. I didn't even know. I have been giving in lately to buying food to feel better. I have checked out some TV series on IMDb. Wondering if I should watch some of them. I lost some hope. Man, it's fucking hard to become a better person.

It's hard to work out 3 times a week, eat well, work, and keep the hope alive. 

 

I finished the 5th book form the red rising series. I feel proud, the last book had 1000 pages. But maybe I should read SMTH else, smarter. I ordered the next one from vinted. 

I didn't get any new dates lately. I was lazy to replay to girls, and the ones I did talk to picked up on the fact that Im not really interested. 

I was thinking I should sleep more and take care of myself better. I also want to take the next step and go to a gym. I have already completed over 2 years working out at home. I'm not sure if I'm making progress. I need some real advice. I have feared to go to the gym for years man. It feels so fucking difficult, same as driving.

 

I was thinking to watch tv series but what's the point? I will be as unhappy as my mom. she is back watching tv series daily.

I know that I'm doing well but I can do better. 

Also, I'm starting to have less joy flapping to porn every day for months already. Meh. I have to quit that too.

I stopped using Instagram every day. That's a good thing.

[Everyday]

Hey 💸

Met with friends and I didn't feel very well. I actually said hey, I'm going home. Stopped o. May way home and got some junk food. Once I arrived I wanted to get a gummy to run away from what I'm feeling. What am I feeling? I'm looking for motivation and hope.

Yesterday I didn't have time to work out as i wanted but I did a lot of tasks I have postponed for months and weeks. It didn't take me super long to finish them. 

My friends asked me what happened with that girl. I was to embarrassed to tell them that I actually said please, let's still be together after that big argument we had. She broke up with me anyways, I felt like shit, all just to have a girlfriend experience for some more time. It wasn't worth it. I felt like shit. I was better alone honestly. I knew she is difficult but I just said to myself I have to endure this shit for a little while because I don't have better options 

 

Edited November 17 by Everyday

[Everyday]

hello 

 

Yesterday was fucking hard as fuck. my supervisor saw that I didn't implemented some campaign fast enough and criticized me for that. I got so upset. now I have to come at the office extra two days. shit. 

I felt so down. my business isn't working faster, I made some mistakes about the last order from China and so on. I feel upset that things are going better overall.

I thought again to go to the gym. It would be another big thing for me.

We almost went to see a car but the guy who was selling it wasn't trustworthy. 

 

Things on tinder aren't going anywhere. I have matches with girls I don't find attractive and the girls I do like aren't interested. I spoke with some weird ugly girl and I asked her if she has a boyfriend. She said yes but she's looking for fun now. Wtf? Her eyes are looking in different places. Yet she has a boyfriend and it's looking for more? c'mon! I told her I'm not ok with that instead of ghosting her

She wrote to me again - I don't think I have a boyfriend anymore. He didn't contact me since Sunday. Wtf? I mean what is going on ?

 

I spoke with another girl who scolded me for not telling her I'm going to sleep after I seen her last message. I replayed to her next day. She didn't want to jump to Instagram because she had a bad experience with some dude. Yeah, great👍. We talked for a little and that's it

 

I'm still wondering what I'm doing wrong. All these matches and I can't get a date with a decent girl. That's why I want to focus on myself more. I still don't have a place of my own. I still don't drive and so on. 

Anyways, I feel quite upset overall. Life is shit and I need to work harder. I'm upset on myself for being so resistant to go to a gym. Yet, I'm upset for not being sure if I'm growing or not at home

what am I waiting for?

 

[Everyday]

It was a very hard week. I got my first warning ⚠️ at work for not doing my job. My supervisor checked all my accounts and found out I have unfinished takes for 3 weeks. I felt like shit. 

Went to work at the office all week as well. It was hard but I did my tasks. I have to do overtime to finish this shit on time.

I focused too much on my business and it's too obvious I don't about doing my job well. Giving a fuck for several weeks didn't help me.

 

I didn't get new dates. I don't feel liem replaying all day to these girls. 

I don't remember the name of the girl who didn't want to move the conversation on Instagram right away.

I asked the ugly girl if she has a boyfriend, I didn't know why. I was shocked that she did and he had no problem of her using Instagram to get laid. She literally said that. Than I told her I'm not ok with that and I just wanted to end the conversation. 

She was dating this guy since last summer but never met f2f lol?

She kept texting me every day, multiple times a day since: I love you, that guy didn't replay to me so do you want a relationship with me?, I want to be your you, hello, I'm cold, I'm tired, I miss you etc 

How can you tell I love you when we didn't even meet?!

 

I worked overtime this weekend for my job and I didn't like it. I find it so weird to do it. I'm used to work for my business, anytime but not for my job. It doesn't feel right 

 

I'm still thinking to go to a gym next week. 

 

We just had the best month judging by sales so far. Isn't not even over! Lol!

Edited Sunday at 02:08 AM by Everyday