165 Days Before College

[Everyday]

21 hours ago, fridjonk said:

Use it to contemplate, it will get you far in life in every aspect. 

 

 

[Everyday]

Wow just started another page

 

Going tomorrow to buy some new clothes. Threw away stained and torn clothes

 

The free google course is much better than i thought. Really like it.

 

what else?

[Everyday]

''It’s because people are not really expressing opinions, or giving truthful advice. 

People often don't give advice based on what works. 

Or even on what they believe. They give advice based on what they chose, and what makes them feel good. 

People defend their niche of choice because they need confirmation and reassurance that they are doing it right. ''

[Everyday]

On 23/11/2020 at 5:20 PM, Everyday said:

Yesterday i got a message from her stating that she came to the city just to see me, that she hopes no body influenced me to say no and that i gave her false hope by agreeing to meet. I was confused. I called her turns out she thought i was over her and vice versa, that she didn't actually break up with me but it was more like a break, she appolgized (wow) and is sorry for loosing me, that she thought she is hurting me because her busy job and not being always available, that the sex opportunity was just to have a door back to me for reconciliation, that every week she wanted to say she's sorry, that she broke up with me because she felt she's doing me more harm than good,  that we both had communication problems and she appolgized for waiting until she couldn't take it anymore to tell me what bothered her, etc.

 

I told her that i am better since we broke up and i don't wish to get back together. I stated that we are over for good, there is no window for us to get back and i wish both of us to move on and never speak with each other. I am glad we finished on a better note than last time. I was tempted to get back but i just cant and don't truly want to if i would listen to my higher self, as Rendheaven says . It would end in another breakup later on. I still do not wish a long term relationship with her. Letting her go is the best for both of us. I want to focus on myself and the root problems and unsolved issues that made me be with her in the first place.

 

I did not have the knx and strength to let her go a month ago. But i finally did it and it feels better to know there is no way back. I should have let her go sooner but i did not understand my own reasons behind our relationship so i was unable to change.

About that =))))))))))))))))) I thought some more on the subject, weighted the benefits and disadvantages, so a week ago i called her and we got back together =))))))))) im not kidding=)))))) I realised i like speaking with her on the phone at some extent and makes me happy at some level. That simply speaking with her makes me happy so why not get that now? Especially that i am not going to put so much effort as i did before so i wont go overboard=))))))) And since i don't have tv series and movies in my schedule to entertain me... she cant do it now=)))))) and tv series dont give me sex so i have a bonus here=))))))))))) =))))))))) just one h every night. Works really well so far, even if annoying at times =))))))))))))) I enjoy speaking with her more than before. She is so much more relaxed since she left that job =)))))))))) And she even messages me through out the day and asks me what am i doing and tells me she misses me. Wow. And still not planning to be with her long term but so what =))))))))) All that matters is to have fun now =)))))))))) I thought she'll find out i am full of shit by now =))))))) She will even drive 3h to see me =)))) in a few weeks lol. Didn't even asked her to.

 

Also, i realised that this relationship never truly affected my ability to grow. I mean is just one h a day speaking, right? And that i was a victim and i was waiting for the relationship to make me how i want to be. And now i see i can be productive all day regardless of what she's doing with her life. It was a stupid excuse to think she affects me in a big way. She doesn't. I am the only one who can help myself

 

 

 

Two days ago i hit the car in traffic . I arrived home and i was productive (google course) instead of bitching and complaining. Felt so much better. I wanted to watch some movie and take it easy but i would have basically told my brain i give up. 

 

Tests are approaching.

 

Threw away almost all plants from garden due to the last cold days. Everything got destroyed. So my hemp died 

Edited December 2, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

While i was cooking for like 40-30min i realized i thought i dont have time to cook when i was watching tv series at night. Lol. Like i had time to sit in bed and watch some crap yt video but no time for what truly matters. Lol.

[Everyday]

Sent 14 emails 2 days ago since i didn't get an interview from the first ones i sent a week ago. Two companies said they'll contact me when they'll be hiring. Dude from a company calls me yesterday and asks me more about my certifications and my own practice with ads. He said he wants to take me in and teach me but only full time. I declined  because of uni and this morning called him that i changed my mind. I can manage my mediocre uni and a full time job, especially during the online classes. We are meeting next week for the Google Ads Display Certification Exam. Yaaaaay. He said I'll be hired if i am learning fast. Also that i need google analytics certification and another course and started them. I feel good. Cant believe is actually going to happen. I feel amazing

Edited December 6, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

So my brother got positively tasted for COVID. He felt sick, headaches and fever for 2 days but now he's better. But now i have the same symptoms. The rest of my family is fine so far. We will close the family business temporarily.

Since morning i had fever, headaches and feeling like puking. Really hard to focus on finishing the Google Ads Display Certification lectures. Anyways, i will keep pushing. Really want that job  

Edited December 6, 2020 by Everyday

[fridjonk]

@Everyday Hope you get well soon!  

[Everyday]

On 05/12/2020 at 8:10 PM, Everyday said:

So my brother got positively tasted for COVID. He felt sick, headaches and fever for 2 days but now he's better. But now i have the same symptoms. The rest of my family is fine so far. We will close the family business temporarily.

Since morning i had fever, headaches and feeling like puking. Really hard to focus on finishing the Google Ads Display Certification lectures. Anyways, i will keep pushing. Really want that job  

Yesterday was better. Today i only have a runny nose, coughing and light headaches. 

My brother is only coughing.

The rest of my family is fine so far.

 

The agency called me and asked if i can come over the office tomorrow morning...... I had to say i cant because COVID. ?‍♂️ It sucks. If i got a job months ago i would not be in this situation ?. I am waiting for them to call me tomorrow to see if they are willing to wait for me to get better or not. That's what happens when you are lazy....

 

Edited December 7, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

@fridjonk thx!

[Everyday]

On 07/12/2020 at 8:09 PM, Everyday said:

The agency called me and asked if i can come over the office tomorrow morning...... I had to say i cant because COVID. ?‍♂️ It sucks. If i got a job months ago i would not be in this situation ?. I am waiting for them to call me tomorrow to see if they are willing to wait for me to get better or not. That's what happens when you are lazy....

 

No sign from them. Maybe tomorrow...

 

 

 

Tomorrow, i am going to work for 6 hours after i finish with online classes. My family said that i recovered enough (even if i still have headaches and a runny nose). That my father is too tired after working  for the last 3 days. And my mom said she doesn't want to replace him. Most probably i will get sick again  not even mentioning that i am going to spread the virus even more ?.

 

The work we do is not demanding anyways. My father is just lazy and didn't have job that required real hard work to compare it with. Obviously, after he returned from work today he complained that we sit around at home all day and do nothing while he is ''working for us''. 

 

Arguing with them led nowhere. The only solution is to get a job and stop depending on them. My family is happy the agency didn't call me- they can keep using me at work for cheap money. 

 

 

 

 

The free course from google i started on google analysis: https://analytics.google.com/analytics/academy/course/6/unit/2/lesson/1. Is really really good. Is better than the one i paid from udemy and i get a certification from google himself.

 

 

 

Made three new ads for the 1st internship as i call it. I liked doing it a lot. Hope this ones get more clicks.

Edited December 10, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

On 09/12/2020 at 0:26 AM, Everyday said:

No sign from them. Maybe tomorrow...

Nope but i emailed them today. I should have went to the interview anyways. I was stupid for not taking that chance regardless my health..

 

Going to have some tests for uni next week. I am not prepared at all. Last few weeks i just focused on doing courses to get a job. Now i am stressed for these tests and the upcoming exams next year.

 

Got my certification for google analytics for beginners yesterday. Preparing for the advanced one now and after for the GAIQ: https://skillshop.exceedlms.com/student/path/2938-google-analytics-individual-qualification 

Going to schedule and pay for an exam for 100-101: Facebook Certified digital marketing associate: https://www.facebook.com/business/learn/certification/exams/100-101-exam

 

What else?

  Oh, i felt really down, sleepy and unmotivated since i didn't get the interview. I want to deny that i lost this opportunity by watching tv series and stuff. I want to deny reality even if it  wont fix a thing. It was been really hard to not bitch and give up. I know how this will fix nothing.

 

Oh, i am reading this book about sex and i am realising that almost all free articles i found online where crap. Same for relationships. And also the free stuff most creators share online is crap compared with the paid material they offer.

Edited December 10, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

On 10/12/2020 at 10:23 PM, Everyday said:

Going to schedule and pay for an exam for 100-101: Facebook Certified digital marketing associate: https://www.facebook.com/business/learn/certification/exams/100-101-exam

Wed afternoon

 

On 10/12/2020 at 10:23 PM, Everyday said:

  Oh, i felt really down, sleepy and unmotivated since i didn't get the interview. I want to deny that i lost this opportunity by watching tv series and stuff. I want to deny reality even if it  wont fix a thing. It was been really hard to not bitch and give up. I know how this will fix nothing.

 

I felt unmotivated because I emailed the company i used to visualise for weeks and got no answer from during  the same week the other company called me. So, when they didn't replay my main driving force was gone and didn't realise why. I found another company now, which i am even more attracted to. I visualise working there, my colleagues, going there, etc.

 

On 10/12/2020 at 10:23 PM, Everyday said:

Going to have some tests for uni next week. I am not prepared at all. Last few weeks i just focused on doing courses to get a job. Now i am stressed for these tests and the upcoming exams next year.

I find it incredibly boring to study. I have zero interest.

Edited December 14, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

Don't feel ok today. Many things accumulated.

 

Feeling down again about my life so far.

 

 

On 10/12/2020 at 10:23 PM, Everyday said:

Nope but i emailed them today. I should have went to the interview anyways. I was stupid for not taking that chance regardless my health..

 

Called him this morning. He didn't read my email because he was in quarantine himself. He didn't sound alright on the phone. He may check my email and call me tomorrow.

[fridjonk]

57 minutes ago, Everyday said:

Feeling down again about my life so far.

 

Sometimes it's good to take a step back. Take a few breaths and reflect on how immensely beautiful it is to exist at all. To stop thinking even for a moment and just feel the awareness that resides within you.    

[Everyday]

On 14/12/2020 at 6:10 PM, Everyday said:

Called him this morning. He didn't read my email because he was in quarantine himself. He didn't sound alright on the phone. He may check my email and call me tomorrow.

no sign. he is sick so it's normal

 

On 13/12/2020 at 6:00 PM, Everyday said:

On 10/12/2020 at 10:23 PM, Everyday said:

Going to schedule and pay for an exam for 100-101: Facebook Certified digital marketing associate: https://www.facebook.com/business/learn/certification/exams/100-101-exam

Wed afternoon

Had the exam today and passed. I was very anxious because i didn't prepare as much as i wanted for it. I took a course about facebook ads on Udemy  and gone through all the facebook blueprint courses last month. Didn't find good unpaid resources to prepare for this exam. I wanted to take a higher grade. It wasn't that hard. Some people said they studied for weeks and it was hard but i don't really think. I found most answers logical.

Yesterday i procrastinated a lot instead of preparing. I was extremely close to give up and watch tv series. I said again- fuck it i feel bad and is just 4-5h of episodes to watch, one hour more since i didn't give up a few days ago- but i read some notes i took on my notes and remembered myself i am trying to -------------- avoid affecting my self esteem by not studying hard and failing. i wanted to blame it for not studying than to make an effort and fail. 

 

 

My sis felt sick for a few days because COVID but not like my brother and I. My parents are fine. I feel better but still coughing. 

 

 

 

Passed my tests but i am not content with my results. I could have done better if i put more effort into it. Didn't have hard tests.

 

 

 

 

I am back at reading about dating. I have insight after insight. 

 

 

 

 

Kept  doing  exercises for my back 4 times a week for over a month!

 

 

 

On 14/12/2020 at 7:10 PM, fridjonk said:

Sometimes it's good to take a step back. Take a few breaths and reflect on how immensely beautiful it is to exist at all. To stop thinking even for a moment and just feel the awareness that resides within you.    

Thanks but i dont agree with you here. I need to fix all my problems to feel better for good.

Edited December 16, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

This Sunday i celebrated 3 weeks of doing kegels 3 times a day, everyday. From Monday i added a new exercise to each set. Going to do this for 2 weeks for now.

 

Quote

 

CHAPTER FOUR

The Complete PC Workout

 

I'm a big believer in foreplay, but enough is

enough. It's time to get started. In this chapter you are

going to learn the first set of simple exercises that will set

the stage for taking control of your sexuality the way you

have always imagined. Mastering them is the crucial first

step on the path to a lifetime of pleasure and power as a

multiorgasmic male. The following three exercises are the

most important exercises in the book. Please take them

very seriously. It is important to take your time, follow my

instructions carefully, and try to be very thorough.

Unlike many of the exercises that follow, this first

set of exercises is most easily accomplished on your own.

If you have a partner who is waiting to work with you, let

her know you'll be ready for her soon. You just need to

prepare a few things. This should heighten her anticipation

and make her all the more enthusiastic when it's time for

her to join in.

 

So . . . let the games begin. Enjoy yourself! And

don't forget: PC power is ultimate power.

 

Quote

 

Exercise 1: Hide and Seek

The very first thing you need to do is find your

PC muscle. For some men this is very simple-you probably

knew where to find it the moment I mentioned it. You may

even be squeezing it right now.

But many men are completely unfamiliar with the

muscles in this area of the body. All of the individual

muscles close to the groin-buttocks, abdomen, thighs, and

PC-may feel the same. They might all feel like one big

muscle mass. That needs to change right now. Here is the

simplest way to find your PC muscle and isolate it from all

the others.

 

First, gently place one or two fingers right behind

your testicles. Pretend that you are urinating. Now try to

stop the flow. That muscle you just used to turn off the

flow from the bladder is your PC muscle. Did you feel it

tightening? Maybe you also noticed that your penis and

testicles "jumped" a little when you flexed your PC.

It is very important that your stomach muscles

and thigh muscles remain relaxed. Did they get tense too?

Try again. This time focus just on the PC.

 

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP; You are not trying to get an

erection here, and you do not need an erection to exercise

the PC. So relax, and let your penis respond naturally to

these exercises.

 

 

Quote

 

Exercise 2: Squeeze Play (three to five minutes a day)

 

Now that you've found your PC muscle, here is

your next exercise: Three times a day, flex the PC twenty

times. Hold it for one or two seconds each time, then

release. That's it. Twenty squeezes, three times a day. I

know it sounds simple, but words cannot express how

important this exercise is.

You do not need to keep your finger on the PC

during these exercises. You should be able to feel it move

internally. If you don't, or if you're not sure, then keep your

finger on the PC the first few times you do your exercises.

Breathe normally during this exercise. Like any

other muscle-building exercise, proper breathing is always

important. You don't want to hold your breath.

I want you to repeat this exercise three times a

day, every day, for three weeks. A consistent exercise

regimen is the most effective way to maximize the

strengthening of your PC muscle in the shortest amount of

time. And it's worth every moment.

 

ROAD TRIP

I know this sounds like a commercial, but these

PC exercises are easy and can be done anywhere-in the

car, at the beach, or while sitting at your desk. Many men

tell me that half the fun of prepping is being able to do it in

broad daylight in front of city hall with no fear of being

arrested for indecent exposure! Okay, I'm exaggerating.

But men do tell me that prepping the PC is a lot of fun.

Now that you've isolated your PC muscle and

learned how to squeeze, you might want to take your act

on the road. Do you ride the bus to work? A perfect

opportunity. Long line at the bank? Why not. Having lunch

alone? Not anymore. Of course, you may prefer to keep

your exercise regimen safe at home, but you have many

options.

 

TWO PC PITFALLS

These exercises are not hard, but there are two

common mistakes men make when they start these

exercises that you need to be aware of before we go any

further:

MISTAKE 1: Doing too many reps. I know you're feeling

very enthusiastic right now, but there is such a thing as

overdoing it. The PC muscle can get sore like any other

muscle. You may have already discovered this on your

own. Go slow at first, as you would when you start any

other exercise for the first time, and let the muscle build.

You can pour it on later.

MISTAKE 2: Failing to isolate the PC. The PC is a small

group of muscles, which need to be isolated from the many

larger muscles close by during your exercises. As I said

before, it is important that your stomach, upper thighs, and

buttocks are all completely relaxed when you are working

out the PC. They should not be moving.

 

Are you having difficulty isolating the PC from

other muscles? Many men have this problem when they try

these exercises for the first time. Not to worry. If you can't

stop yourself from tensing other muscles during your PC

exercises, you simply need to exhaust these muscles first

so they don't interfere with your new exercise regimen.

Let's say you have a tendency to tense your

stomach muscles during your PC workout. What you need

to do is tense and untense your stomach muscles at least

ten or twenty times before you begin your PC exercises.

That should tire them out enough so they don't get in the

way. The same applies for buttock, thigh, and groin

muscles. If you have to work these muscles really hard

before you get to work on your PC, that's okay. Do thirty

or forty reps if twenty isn't enough. This may sound like a

lot of work, but you're not going to have to do this for the

rest of your life-just for a couple of days.

Once you have really isolated your PC, your

muscle "confusion" should dissolve, leaving you free to

devote your full attention to working the program. With

that in mind, let us now return to our regularly scheduled

program, already in progress.

 

 

Quote

 

Exercise 3: The Big Squeeze (two to three minutes a day)

 

Have you done your reps three times a day for the

last three weeks? Good. Now you're ready to learn what I

call "The Big Squeeze" (a.k.a. "The Power Squeeze" or

"The Death Grip"). I want you to keep doing your twenty

quick squeezes, three times a day. But now you're going to

add ten really slow squeezes. This is what you do. Take

five seconds to slowly squeeze your PC as tight as you

can. Now hold the tension for a full five seconds, if

possible. Finally, release the tension gradually over the

next five seconds. You should be able to feel yourself

really working the muscle.

 

This might be a bit difficult at first. You may only

be able to do one or two fifteen-second squeezes before

How to Make Love All Night

you tire. That's okay. But try to eventually work up to ten

full repetitions, each taking ten to fifteen seconds. It may

take you a few days, or even a few weeks, to get there.

That's okay. It's more important that you don't push

yourself too hard. You're not training to be an American

Gladiator. Just enjoy the process and keep squeezing.

 

Meet Early and Meet Often

The PC workout is like any other workout. The

harder you work, the faster and more impressive the

results. The great thing about the PC is that, unlike some

muscles, it responds so quickly to being exercised. No

matter how intense or casual your workout is, you won't

have to spend months and months before you notice a

difference, As you will soon see, the PC workout brings

immediate gratification. Still, you need to be thorough.

 

There are several steps to becoming

multiorgasmic, but building up the PC is the crucial first

step. Don't give it short shrift. There are no deadlines here,

no clocks to punch, and no boss to report to. The most

important thing is to get the job done. Are you one of those

people who takes the new VCR out of the box and tries to

make it work without reading a single page of the

instruction manual? I'm the same way. But this kind of

attitude simply won't work when it comes to mastering the

techniques for male multiple orgasm.

 

My grandmother used to say to me, "You can't

run in the Olympics until you've learned to tie your

sneakers." Listen to grandma. Take it one step at a time

and take your time on every step. You'll be at the finish

line before you know it, being hugged by your biggest fan.

Meanwhile, that will give us some time to talk a little bit

more about the miracle of male multiple orgasm.

 

 

 

Edited December 16, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

I have seen improvements from not drinking and smoking weed this year. I drank 2-3 times but not got drank and smoked once. and i got a more clear mind, especially for not drinking. But i still got my mind cluttered with music, fapping and tv series.

I didn't feel like listening to music all day yesterday and had a more clear mind. Very interesting.

Edited December 16, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

Cooked again after a week or so. 

 

Tomorrow is my last day of university this year. Have some homework left to do. I feel scared of how much free time i will have and that i might waste all of it  

 

I thought of watching some tv series to entertain myself. I lost hope at some degree that i can change my life sooner. Seems i am going nowhere atm. I feel disappointed of myself again. Ooooooof. I have a horrible habit of giving up and daydreaming. How could I? The only way out of this rut is hard work.

 

Getting used to the new Kegels exercises is uncomfortable. 

 

 

 

Edited December 18, 2020 by Everyday

[Everyday]

Passed today's test with a 10. I cheated better together with my uni friend =))) Worked and finished some assignments.

 

Cooked again this morning

 

Lat two days i finished some errands that were bothering me for some time.

 

 

On 10/12/2020 at 10:23 PM, Everyday said:

Nope but i emailed them today. I should have went to the interview anyways. I was stupid for not taking that chance regardless my health..

 

He said we'll have the interview at the beginning of January.

 

I had some conflicts at work but didn't go crazy because it doesn't matter. I just want to get out of here. I am also bothered that i am still working here. My brother treats me with superiority and i hate it. 

 

Sister made fun of me yesterday for not getting the ads job and not having a gf. I didn't tell them i got back with my ex. I didn't like her making fun of me. And i replayed back with nasty comments. Just made me remember to work harder.

Edited December 20, 2020 by Everyday