165 Days Before College

[Everyday]

Hei

 

Last few days  - 

 

It's Easter over here rn. Parents are arguing more than usually. Lots of food. Slept a lot as well. Fell asleep under the sun. 

 

One of the bnb miner had problem with some hackers. The page was down for a day. The TVL has decreased since then. The other ones are going OK.

 

Got drunk last night with my friend from college. Stayed at his place overnight. Ate junk food and drank beer. We walked for hours while drinking. Felt tired the rest of the day. 

I felt really desperate after affection from a girl when i was drunk. It hit me really hard. Now i am better. 

 

Studied a little for that test as well. 2 weeks from now. Maybe more. 

 

Last year in summer of autumn i thought of getting pics taken at a studio and in parks for Tinder. Toyed with the idea for months. I feel really weird to ask my sis or friends for this. I am also perfectionist so i dont have good pics online with me because i just dont take them. Last time i used tinder i had 2 pics from 3-4 years ago. One of them was even blurred. I have been delaying doing this for a long time already. I was thinking of doing it next month. Man i feel so weird doing this. Is it weird? Feels lame. Is it?

 

I would like to invest $200 from my salary on some bnb miner. But i already invested a lot and i should invest in real life as well. I am talking about making new glasses, buying plants for my garden and some clothes. I feel resistant and lazy doing this. 

 

Finally, drove 2 days ago and today. I am rusty man.

 

I am worried about planetwatch. The price is only going down. Saw they will sell some new miners next month and especially june. I am worried it will all go to crap and loose all that money i gathered for months.

 

 

Looked over some accounts each day after i made some big changes. I added new countries and new counties to show my adds. 

Edited April 24, 2022 by Everyday

[Everyday]

Hei

Made some changes on some campaigns this morning. I was in vacation but it was an emergency.

The day passed very fast. 

Last night was bad. After writing all that i felt really frustrated and had trouble sleeping. 

Woke up a wreck. 

Going at work tomorrow. Not really thrilled cuz i might get scolded. Probably will get scolded. Made some mistake again. 

 

Man i am stressed with those stupid tests and upcoming exams. Isn't even funny. 

I should be working harder, study harder and so on. 

 

 

[Everyday]

hei

went to work and i felt bored at times. wasnt scolded but i felt stupid i didnt do better on my campaigns so far. Some of them. I added too many negatives lol.

trying to focus on studying for uni

 

[Everyday]

hei

that test i was preparing for a few days went really bad. the vine leafs i studied werent like the ones the professor gave us to identify. also, she was yelling at us and speaking shit.

tried to set that test i failed 2ice for next week but no body responds on the group chat. i talked with the professor to have it next week. someone from that group got annoyed i want so bad to pass it. they dont want to prepare for this.

 

got sawdust for my mushrooms but the autoclave malfunctioned and all substrate from that batch got burned. 

 

the government needs money. they said the land my grandpa received money for was over-evaluated. they are asking triple that amount. the whole thing is really serious. my grandma can loose her house and we can loose ours. 

my grandma still doesnt give my parents all papers to prepare better. also, we found out she has another house we never knew about. wtf?

if they start this lawsuit all money in the bank will be blocked. my brother went with my grandma to take out some of her money from banks and she started crying. on top of this she is still going crazier day by day.

 

 

made up pretexts to not go out with high school colleagues. dont in the mood for that rn

on easter night went walking and drinking with my friend from uni. he wants to loose weight so didnt eat anything. we have no idea how we arrived at his place. we were to drunk man. 

he told me how important is to travel and i told him my opinion - nothing changes no matter how much you travel. he asked me about girls and shit and i was embarrassed as usually. thought more about it.

 

 

mom needs to get surgery next week. it was supposed to be last week but the doctor was not available. 

 

 

bought a bunch of seedlings and put all in my garden

i extended my plot of land by 3x3m. my father went nuts. yelled for days. still is. explained to him how i want more land to grow veggies but he wouldn't understand. he is still upset and i dont get it. we have a yard and dont grow more veggies? why? 

i want to make a drip system for my plants. im going to save a lot of water and time.

 

 

 

as the whole market tanked so my bnb miners. all investment went to shit. decided to stop paying for compounding and just wait to take profits thus hurting the protocol. i m upset i lost another sum of money on crypto. so i will wait a few weeks and than take whatever i accumulate from these miners. hopefully i will get half of my initial back.

planetwatch is still down. it will take months to recover. if they will. they have a new plan and ppl like it.

 

 

 

drove some more alone last weekend. i want to do it more often. like going where i need to go by car. man this is a huge frustration of mine ahahha. 

 

 

last month went by very slow. 

 

i still earn interest from what i put in on nexo and binance and celsius. a few cents a months but is smth. i want to put some into p2p as well. also into myself. 

i finally went to consult a doctor about my sight. it got worse last 2 years. i bought more stuff i needed or wanted. when i got my salary in march and spent it all on planetwatch i got upset. especially after it tanked. it was a stupid idea. i want to buy some clothes as well. i dont many good tshirts to wear. i feel so stupid i saved each month to put all into crypto and didnt even spare some to get my eyes checked. my teeth and so on. i mean i didnt even buy good scissors for practice days at uni. i used a rusty one. 

but i still feel resistant to spend on food at work and to go overboard when feeling bad. i just cant spend that money on junk food just to feel sick. especially doing it alone. the bad part is that i feel resistant to cook weekly, i havent cooked much lately. let alone eat at work.

at work, i just eat fruits or nothing. or free sweets when is someones b day or some event. most days i eat nothing. wait home to eat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 7, 2022 by Everyday

[Everyday]

Hei

 

On 08/05/2022 at 0:59 AM, Everyday said:

mom needs to get surgery next week. it was supposed to be last week but the doctor was not available. 

She had the surgery yesterday. Everything is fine now.

the whole 21 kg of substrate i sterilised last week got burned. 

 

Invested some more in eth, btc and a little in bnb. I just realised that my beth and eth a liquidity pool dropped in value. lost $20. I locked my btc and eth for a few months to earn more. I locked my bnb for 21 days to earn 52%.

Those bnb miners are compounding very slowly. 

Id like to invest some more in eth and btc but i want to get my new glasses first and to use the money to drive some more. Dont want to spent them all now. The market is going down even more. 

 

Going to do some gardening this week.

The test i had last week was alright in the end. She just scared us. Three ppl she didnt like failed the exam.

Went to uni daily and it was so tiring. Soooo much bullshit.

 

I was thinking to buy some stocks on etoro or smth as well. Dont have to wait for another account or smth.

 

Checked some clothes in a mall after i looked for some frames for my glasses. I was surprised they have ready made outfits. I just need to take them. I made everything to look more complicated in my mind. 

 

Worked on last week and still feeling sore. Uhhh. 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9vxKrV38s4

Edited May 12, 2022 by Everyday

[Everyday]

hei

 

i noticed that i was not making as much per day on baked beans and that on the other two i was actually decreasing in rewards. These are probably the anti-whale systems they talked about. I took rewards. I will compound for a week and then stop again and just collect. 

I discovered that binance offers 52% for locked staking of bnb. put some money into that after i got profit from those bnb miners.

 

So i bought btc, eth  and a little bnb for around $250 when it dropped. I wanted to buy more but it would mean no money for the other stuff i wanted to do this month. I wanted to take this opportunity but there are other things id like to spend money on rn. I put borage all over my yard. I got lots of seedlings from last year. 

 

I went to driving alone the longest i have been so far. I made some stupid mistakes but all good overall. Today i arrived at 17 from working on that university project for my degree. I did some work and basically not much else after some gardening. 

 

Mom had that surgery. She is alright. 

 

 

[Everyday]

hei

 

Drove some more. Made some mistakes but all good. Need more practice blag blah.

I drove my brother and his gf to her house and she wouldnt stop talking man. It was really annoying. 

My grandma turned 80 today. She said she doesnt want to see anyone and stopped answering the phone. We had planned for her to come at our house and celebrate. Went to her and she was really annoyed by us. But in the end calmed down a little.

 

After Easter i drove my grandma home. Made some mistakes. My grandma told my parents i drive like shit. Today she said - is he driving? Better be careful. He is a bad driver. W T F ! Man what a bitch! How can you say that?!

 

Went to meet with friends from high school. One of them had an accident before Easter. His was using his father's car. Now he is waiting for the insurance company to give him money. Another colleague said she is waiting to finish her Master's to get a job because shes bored. 

Last summer one of them got tinder. He spoked with a few girls and actually went out with one. I was surprised. I didnt know this! If he can do it i can!

[Everyday]

hei

i am feeling anxious about that test tomorrow.

i moved some btc from flexible staking to fixed staking because they offer a bigger APY. 

just messaged that guy to get some pics taken next week. i am really nervous

 

went to uni when i should have been at a work meeting. next week i am going there. it was an important meeting today.

some new seo guy was hired today. we dont know anything about him.

[Everyday]

hei

 

i have that test tomorrow i am really stressed about it. i want to run from these feelings. Ugh. fuck this test. want to be over with it. 

i finish uni in 5 weeks. after that exams start, then practice, then other exams and then peace ahahha. hopefully at least. so tired of this university shit. 

 

that guy i mailed yesterday about photos called me. we are going to take those pics next week on Thursday OR Friday. i am quite nervous about that as well. 

 

man, did i tell you about that annoying girl from work? she is just beyond annoying man. i dont know how she can talk so damn much. 

 

the glasses i ordered last week just arrived. dont like them. found other but more expensive. i will get those instead.

 

https://bnb.cropsfarmer.online this bnb miner makes me 0.0054 a day but when i wanted to sell only 0.001 could get. WTF?

I staked some bnb i got from those miners on binance for 52% APY for 21 days. Not much but smth safer than these miners. Also just moved my btc into defi staking for a higher yield. Id like to get some more eth and bnb but i really want to get those pics. blah blah bhal.

 

mom is alright after that surgery. 

 

one friend from HS got annoyed with us for having exams this summer. he wanted to go abroad with us but almost all of us are busy. he will redo his 4th year at uni bc he failed some exams years ago. smth like that. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3apkywzYf0&list=PL7ee065wMTPPHva-g-h-hidAiB8ayFMlF&index=4

Edited May 17, 2022 by Everyday

[Everyday]

On 17/05/2022 at 11:20 PM, Everyday said:

https://bnb.cropsfarmer.online this bnb miner makes me 0.0054 a day but when i wanted to sell only 0.001 could get. WTF?

what i was seeing was just the gas fees. i was able to withdraw 0.0049 BNB.

I passed yesterday that test with a 6! was so happy ahahah! the other failed. i was really stressed with this stupid test. 

 

i bought $30 worth of BTC last night. i want to get some ETH as well. 

 

what else? 

going to get new accounts and this makes me scared. i will get less than my colleagues cuz they are better. i should have put more effort into this job early on.

 

i am nervous about taking those pics next week. feels beyond what i think i can do or what i deserve. 

[Everyday]

Just now, Everyday said:

what i was seeing was just the gas fees. i was able to withdraw 0.0049 BNB.

the daily return on this bnb miner is decreasing each day. a guy online said you need to deposit some more to see it going up. pfffff. no thanx. 

i will withdraw every 2 days a tiny amount of BNB after sell tax. 

 

i am still earning from the other ones. all are going down each week.

 

finally, i found some eyewear frames i like and i am waiting for their arrival. i will get new glasses in 2 weeks max. 

 

went to look for clothes yesterday. they didnt have the same ones i saw 2 weeks ago. The ones they had weren't my size. i got one belt and one summer shirt. i was disappointed.  

[Everyday]

 

hei

went to uni and got burned under the sun. ate a Vietnamese soup like i used to last year with my friend from uni.

 

went to drive a little. i was rusty again and i felt bad not driving even more. i called my brother to check the car because it was making weird noises. my brother said is alright. my father thought i called him cuz i hit the car. He started yelling that he doesnt have money and some other crap to fix the car. 

 

met with my colleagues from HS. we went to some art gallery and then to visit one of our friends at work.  he is renting bikes in a park. 

he told us about his date from tinder. they went out a few times then she ghosted him.

I was thinking to invest on etoro on some companies. The stock market is down as well. i was thinking to buy sp500, coca cola, apple and so on. 

Edited May 21, 2022 by Everyday

[Everyday]

hei 

 

found out one of my work colleagues resigned. he said he had an argument with our boss and decided to leave. i wonder if it was about money.

 

skipped some more uni to go to work. 

found out i have 2 exams next week, the one i failed. if i dont pass them now or in summer i can say byeeee to my scholarship. fuck.

 

i met with that guy and got my pics taken this morning. he was really cool and patient. i was very anxious. i was surprised how good the pics ended up to be. i never had such good pics of myself man. just wow. definitely worth the money. i felt quite uncomfortable of taking pics of but it wasnt as bad and difficult as i thought. just imagined it to be really bad and it wasnt at all. 

 

my project for graduation is going well. 

 

what else? bought more eth in this bear market.  i wonder how long it will last. i will continue to accumulate. 

i am still recovering money from those stupid bnb miners. pfffff. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Everyday]

hei

went to uni this morning to compensate for some missed classes. 

came home and watched some tv series and studied for some exam next week.

 

i had a friend is high school i was joking around a lot. I run into one of his friends who was also with me in same class last summer right after i moved with the couple. I thought they will call me to hang out but didnt happen. 

i logged in on the old fb account i was swearing i wont until 10 year passed. It was cringe what i had piled over the years. I had a few messages only. I messaged that guy with my new phone number and maybe he will respond.

Started speaking with some girl i was in the same class with. 

 

I find the drama i made quite stupid. i changed my fb account and stopped speaking to everyone and not everything changed. i found some of the self imposed boundaries as stupid. Really stupid and useless. 

Answered to some more messages and checked my old colleagues profiles. Meh, most of them didnt even change or posted anything in the last 2-3 years. No body cares as much as i do. Really. 

I had some ppl blocked on that account and i cant even remember why. I do remember how bad i felt in NL when i looked over their profiles. Absurd man. I wish i enjoyed more that place instead of thinking so much about high school.

Hack, i didnt even have my siblings as friends on FB. It was so stupid. I was so ashamed of them. It took me years to even add my mom on FB. 

 

The whole thing made me feel bad i didnt put more effort into getting more experience over the last few years. i could have tried harder, much harder. i was just lazy and so insecure of pushing myself more. I am still finding it hard to post a pic of me online. like is some jump off a cliff. pffff. Yeah i will get more pics taken. 

 

 

 

 

Didnt drive today but i want to do it tomorrow. 

This morning i was trying to listen to that annoying professor and i realised is hard. i want to know about vegetables, trees and vines just to impress ppl. Is hard to pay attention to what is going on at university. I dont care 100%. 

I looked at the ppl studying horticulture in weekends today. Makes me feel sad. Nothing wow about them at first look. I am going older and not working on some problems much. This is making me feel really bad for years. 

 

 

I will look back at my current limits and say it was so stupid. But i have to get there 1st. 

 

 

 

my brother s GF told me to get my brother with me when i go out with my friends. My sister told me to get her BF with me when i got out with my friends. They both told me their S.O. doesnt have more friends and shit. 

 

 

Edited May 28, 2022 by Everyday

[Everyday]

hei

 

i have an exam tomorrow. the one i couldnt take because i didnt pass a test. 

i was looking at my watch quite a lot at work. i was bored to be honest. 

today was the last day of a colleague of mine from work and found out that another colleague is quitting in july. wow.

[Everyday]

Hei

 the exam was ok i think. it wasnt prepared as well as i should have. i was surprised not all the ppl who failed that exam showed up. wtf?

 

have another exam tomorrow, the one i failed last semester. soooo much to study it sucks. i felt pissed i went the professor with the first ppl... the ones who went the last passed cuz the professor didnt care anymore.

 

what else?

have another test next week and 3 weeks left of school. i have two projects i didnt do much or nothing at all. 

[Everyday]

Hei

 

I was the only one who showed up for that exam... not even the professor came lol =))))))))))) time wasted.

Thinking went alright at the lab, making progress.

 

Got my pics from the photographer and they really looked so goood! In most of them i was really anxious and it shows. I chose the best ones and posted them on FB and IG. I havent done that since 3 years ago. Wow. I really likes these pics man. Just wow.

[Everyday]

hei

last Sunday my friend from uni asked if i want to hang out. refused cuz i had those tests. he got so drunk he only called on Tuesday. Very same day, hours later he got drunk again and called me. I told him i dont want to speak while he is drunk. He called me a few more times than stopped. 

On 02/06/2022 at 9:56 PM, Everyday said:

I was the only one who showed up for that exam... not even the professor came lol =))))))))))) time wasted.

Asked him to take the exam next week - but forgot we have 2 tests i didnt even prepare. He said to take the exam on Sunday. I told this to my colleagues and they all got upset. I really want to pass that exam man.

One stupid colleague said we should do like him - not showing up and dealing with these exams later. I dont think my colleagues will even show up. 

 

I am worried i will fail that exam and not get my scholarship next year either. That would suck man. 

 

Bought some more eth and btc right after i got my salary. Got my glasses ordered as well. At last. Also, gave some money to the guy helping me with my uni project. 

 

Got some shitty back pain and worries about work. 

 

 

Edited June 3, 2022 by Everyday

[Everyday]

On 03/06/2022 at 11:03 PM, Everyday said:

I am worried i will fail that exam and not get my scholarship next year either. That would suck man. 

I cheated and passed. 

I passed the exam i took 2 weeks ago.

 

Finally, got my eyeglasses! So amazing to see everything now hahaha. 

 

I think i failed another test. Studied just one day ahead. 

 

My boss told me he cant keep me anymore because of being half time at university instead of work. He said my colleagues complained about my lack of attention. That is all true. I done tasks for them without doing a thorough job. He will decide at the end of the month if he will keep me or not. I was shocked. I knew this day might come but it was a surprise. 

I dont blame him. I am a shit employee. Should have done my job better. I freaked out 1 st day but if i have no job i can finish my uni instead of skipping class all the time. I can get a job as a kitchen helper. Looking back it was stupid to get this job full time. Should have chose smth part time. 

 

I thought of how i have around $260 left after this year working there. I spent money on rent last year and on crypto this year. I should have saved smth looking back... I should have used them in a better way.

 

I am still very pleased with the pics that guy took. I want to get more, even if just once a month or once every few months.

[Everyday]

hei

ETH down to $1500 but didnt ape in this time.

My boss sent me a folder called verification. I wonder if he will use it to check my working hours. Hmm.

I am stressing out i will get fired at the end of the month. Recession is close and dont even have a job? Ugh...