An important growth trap to be aware of.

[7thLetter]

This isn't a new insight or anything, but think of it as an addition to Leo's "Learning = Behavior Change" video, and a reminder to you of that theory.

Lately I've been letting things happen as it is, letting my growth occur naturally, and letting things flow. Much rather than trying to create change in my life in a neurotic manner by telling myself that "I HAVE TO do this and that." And I believe that's honestly the way to go rather than listening to some theory or looking at the ideal psychologically grown person to be and emulating that without doing the inner and outer work. Because that just seems to be the case with some people, and don't get me wrong I've often seen this in myself as well.

In the self-help community, I often see people trying to 'copy' whoever it is they follow and they end up creating this identity for themselves acting like they've got it all figured out just for the sake of impressing other people. For example, Network marketers or people who run MLMs do a lot of traditional self-help, post success quotes on facebook/instagram, and tend to criticize people who work 9-5 jobs. They come from a frame of mind of, "Ha! You said no to my MLM opportunity? Have fun working at McDonalds for the rest of your life! Fucking 95%'ers." I've been involved in MLM myself and this is literally what I've seen in others, even when they themselves still work jobs and don't even have the success yet. Because that's what the leaders in the MLM industry who actually do have it, teach that to their followers verbally, and non-verbally. This is especially seen in the Pick-up community as well (which I've also been apart of myself) where PUAs would 'copy' the experienced pickup artist's theories and they try to become that person in a conversation with a girl. For example, the experienced pickup artist is someone who is nonreactive to the girl's "shit-tests" and doesn't show as much emotion, is often a theory that is taught in the PUA community. And I would see PUAs COPYING that theory and ACTING as that nonreactive guy without letting it come naturally to them by doing the work that is required. I have tons of examples, but lastly I just wanted to mention that it happens in the self-actualization or spirituality community as well. I think there's a problem with spirituality going mainstream. That's great that more and more people are aware of the teachings, but sometimes you would get people who read the popular book on spirituality and they act like they're all spiritual all of a sudden and start preaching what they've read.

In conclusion, listening to the theory is great, but do the training that is required as well and just let your growth come naturally, don't force it. You don't need to ACT in accordance with what you heard in Leo's video. If Leo talks about his ideas at the stage Turquoise paradigm and you're stage Orange, you don't need to act like you're stage Turquoise. If you hear about eating healthy, and doing hardcore meditation retreats, while you come from a victim mindset and is overweight and just getting into personal development for the first time, you don't need to neurotically drop all your old habits and force yourself to eat healthy and do hour long meditations. Start small, build your way up. With self-actualization, I think we already know that the training means doing the meditation practices, contemplation, etc. Build your way up from there and the growth will come naturally.

Anyways, I think that turned into a long rant, I'll end it here. Thoughts?