Ayahuasca Trip Report - This is true medicine

[hundreth]

This past weekend I went to a Shipibo tribe temple in upstate NY with a few friends to try Ayahuasca. This was the most profound experience in my life and the most direct healing medicine I've ever encountered. Before we arrived we were instructed to clean up our diet, stay away from alcohol or drugs, no sex or masturbation, etc. I personally took this seriously and already felt clearer before I even arrived. Combined with my previous psychedelic experiences with shrooms and LSD, I believe this is why I had such intense Ayahuasca ceremonies even my first couple of times.  We had two ceremonies, and I'll do my best to describe each. At the end of the day, the truth is that there are no words.

1st ceremony:

We all sit and try to get into a good head space before the ceremony begins. The shaman goes over some ground rules, and we each have to verbally accept. They turn down the lights, and the shaman begins the brewing ritual. She instructs us to set an intention for our ceremony before coming up and having our cup of medicine. More than anything, I wanted to see what this substance had to show me, so I set my intention to understanding myself better. I drink my cup of medicine, my first reaction is that it tastes good. Bitter, but good. Man, that aftertaste is wicked though.

We sit in pitch black silence for a half hour waiting for the effects to begin. I do my best to practice zen meditation techniques I've been working on recently. Keep in mind, the shaman is also consuming the medicine. The ceremony official begins when she starts channeling the plants with the help of the medicine. The effects start to come on in the form of nausea and visuals. Meanwhile, the shaman and other facilitators of the tribe begin singing and playing the icaros (melodies from the plants.) A few others around me begin to purge, and I get this feeling that I'm left behind, not receiving any attention. This is when I get my first message from the spirit. "Hold on." I realize others are being taken care of right now.

I continue listening to the music, settling in, and waiting. Soon I realize I'm completely entranced by the music, and my body is moving to the rhythm outside of my control. Now the plant spirit has begun to communicate with me directly. She gives me a small task to keep me occupied, to be part of the orchestra. I feel as though I'm an instrument in her band. The energy flowing through my body is immense, and your body has to keep moving to channel this energy. The energy begins to overwhelm me, and I remember I have a crystal in my pocket. I had randomly picked up this crystal from somewhere in the temple minutes before the ceremony began. As I hold it in my hand, it feels like it's burning with energy. I begin moving this crystal around with my hands in patterns that could only come from the plant spirit. The crystal is immensely helpful in moving this massive energy through me, and being completely ignorant to crystals prior to this, I could now understand the benefit as an energy transducer. At one point, I'm tapping on the crystal with my index finger, and as the energy in the room became so massive, my tapping became more intense and those around me began to purge. I now understand, this was her first way of showing me how the process works, to make me part of the band. I'm a small part of the energy field channeling massive amounts of energy through all of our bodies.

I begin receiving visions and symbols explaining the healing process. These visions and symbols are representing such complex ideas, but dumbed down in images my child self can understand. Images of colorful Mario style pipes and plumbing systems. She is so personal in her communications, you feel such love. She has such a sense of humor too, you'll be amazed at how she teaches. Such a personality.  I understand the cleansing process works as a healing song being played through us. She fills us with massive spiritual energy, and when there's no space for the energy to travel through us, we must purge. It's like cleaning the dust out of a flute by blowing tons of air through it. Whatever energetic blockages are in our bodies, they are shaken out of us. This is painful of course. This healing song of the plants is beautiful, I receive imagery of the plants dancing. The ideal state of the body is to be clear and empty, so this energy can flow through us without getting stuck. We attach to energy and try to keep it, thus it gets trapped inside us and bogs us down.

At this point I've played my part in the orchestra, and it's my turn to receive some healing work. She heals me slowly and gently, releasing knots of energy inside my body through movement. She gives me a space to confront some repressed emotions I've been holding. I'm able to confront my lingering heartbreak from my previous relationship that ended over a year ago. I had written this mental story about how it was for the best and that I should move on, but deep down I was so angry it didn't work out. I had to acknowledge she was my soulmate, and like a spoiled child I lashed out in anger about not being able to be together. Then a deeper layer surfaced, I was afraid I wasn't going to find someone right for me, and I cried in sadness. This release felt so great, it was as if I had purged without the vomiting. She doesn't tell me whether I will meet someone or not, but this part of me healed then and there. This was a very intense trip, and even when the ceremony officially ended I was still with the medicine. I went downstairs and had one of the most heartfelt conversations with another girl attending the ceremony. I felt so happy and at peace. I also knew the Ayahuasca spirit had went easy on me. I knew it wasn't going to be easy the following night. I had barely gotten any sleep after having so much energy flow through me.

2nd ceremony:

Anticipating a deeper, more challenging journey the second night after little sleep, I wasn't sure what to set as my intention. I knew she was going to dig deeper than the shallow healing she did yesterday. I was worried about it before the night even began, but I knew I had to go through with it. I set my intention to surrender fully and allow the spirit to do it's work with me. Now I didn't really know what "surrender fully" meant, I just thought it sounded cool. She didn't like that. She called my bullshit out right away, and so the most challenging trip of my life was ahead of me.

The journey began similar to the night before, we took the medicine, though this time it tasted stronger, with sediment and instant nausea. Within ten minutes I was already with the medicine, my visual perception field filled with native patterns. During this time, another participant began trying to purge, unsuccessfully. He was so loud, and you could feel his discomfort. I could not even focus on the music beginning to play as I did the night before. The entire beginning of the night was the whole room "holding space" for this one man. You could feel the energy of the room, sending him compassion as he tried to purge. It was amazing to be a part of such a unified group all attempting to help someone. They had to move him to another room, and you could hear him sobbing uncontrollably in pain in the next room. This set the tone for the night.

Soon after this phase of the night had passed, I began to turn inward. She had taken me on an awe inspiring journey to the celestial realm. The places she was taking me were beautiful, massive, infinite, and overwhelming. I visited other realms that looked like moving Kandinsky paintings, which I now realize are real places. Celestial spaces I cannot even comprehend and explain in words. At one point, she had taken me to a space where time had stopped, it was the most peaceful and beautiful place I had ever been. Though I felt that time had stopped, I could still hear the music. Then I understood the message, this realm is always there - we can experience this state even while being "in time." An experience impossible to put into words. As she moved me to other infinite spaces, I was overwhelmed and feeling uncomfortable. I simple couldn't hold this massive energy. I was already asking her to stop, I was already being humbled. Now the real healing work was beginning. For hours I'm forced to experience negative energy trapped inside my body. I feel like I need to purge, but it doesn't work. I reach for the bucket and nothing comes out, I'm dry heaving. This comes and goes in waves. When I'm just beyond my limit, she gives me a moment to bathe in love and acceptance.

This cycle continues, energy activated within me like a wild fire. My body is moved into countless positions, outside my control. I can't stop moving, the negative energy is so powerful. It's hard to even pinpoint where these emotions came from, they must have been trapped inside me for so long. I can only describe it as being scared and completely alone. I can't handle it and I'm forced into prayer. I plead with her, I've had enough, but she gives me more. This was the most challenging experience of my life, Ayahuasca had handed my ass to me. I sit up and reach for my bucket once more, I once again fail to purge, and she finally puts me in surrender. My body physically goes into surrender, like a yoga pose with my head bowed and my hands and arms lowered in front of me. I learned what "surrender fully" really meant. This is physically surrendering and accepting your fate. I realized there was nothing I could do, and this gave me a moment of peace and strength to continue with my healing. At this point I knew my painful healing wasn't over, but I had finally accepted it. I went through additional cycles of pain, it felt like I had been there an eternity. She knew I wasn't going to return for a long time, and she knew I could handle more. I simply had to allow this negative energy to burn slowly. As the cycles wind down in intensity levels she has yet more to teach me. She shows me how this cleansing technology is coded into plants as DNA. Mother Aya is a genius programmer. She shares her plant technology as a gift to humans to help us. We download her program, and it runs through us, cleaning out trapped energy as she watches over us and teaches us. Trapped energy often comes out as song, art, poetry. 

This was the most profound and humbling experience in my life. It's going to take me months to process and integrate all of this. I know I need to make some changes in my life, and most of all I need to learn to surrender in grace to the almighty. 

Ayahuasca is a true medicine. She heals you physically, psychologically, and spiritually at once. She is hands on, compassionate, and only gives you only what you can handle even if it's the most painful thing you ever went through. Being able to connect with such a loving, ancient spirit - it's given me such a faith in the universe.

Thank you for reading. 
 

[Leo Gura]

@hundreth Great stuff.

And then there's Father 5-MeO, the king-maker

[herghly]

Awesome share ! Ayahuasca is life changing stuff 

[Prabhaker]

 

[phoenix666]

wow, reading your words made me very emotional. intense. I'm sorry for your heartbreak. I had a painful one too one year ago that sometimes comes back haunting me - after all this time. that deep suffering unites us.

thanks for sharing your incredible experience. Ayahuasca is something I definitively wanna try.. 

[Ayilton]

God Bless Awayasca!  Beautiful experience 

[Nexeternity]

Medicina, medicinaaaaaa, cura, cura, mis amigos

Nice man!