Psyche_92

Deep disconnect with dysfunctional family.

5 posts in this topic

Hello,

I've been facing a deep disconnect with my family, that's slowly becoming very bad, to a point where i hardly speak or relate to them anymore. We're growing apart soo much, that i sometimes feel like i won't be seeing them at all, if i have my own place in the future.

At the moment i'm still living with my mom under the same roof, but we hardly speak about random stuff with each other, because we just don't relate anymore. She's not interested in what i'm doing, or in what i have to say, and sometimes i feel like she's even envying me. When i talk to her about my Life Purpose and future goals, she's just reacting in an uninterested manner, watching television and yawning, looking at me like i'm bothering her, not paying attention to me when i'm speaking. She's living a very unconscious life, spending all her free time with a guy that is still married to another woman, constantly running away from home ( it's impossible for her to sit with herself ) and her problems that are going on in her personal life. If her boyfriend is not responding to her texts, or if her friend is not available to do something with her, she basically go's insane and starts eating like crazy. Everytime i ask her about her eating so much, she's just telling me that she's hungry, when i can cleary see that she's running away from emptiness. The house we're living in is deteriorating and not maintained and she hardly cleans it ( i'm trying my best to keep it clean but she leaves her trash all over the place ). As far as that part goes, i know i can solve this problem by getting my own place, which i'm working on, but i can't seem to find a stable job at the moment. I'm also trying to practice unconditional love, but it's been very hard.

Besides this, i'm also having 2 sisters that i'm hardly paying a visit because of a lot of things that are going on in their lives. One of them is addicted to drugs, and basically smoking weed by the daily. She's constantly having money problems, sleeping with different guys every week, and going through the same unconscious patterns everytime. She's blaming the world for her problems, and she's telling me i'm still lucky to be living at home.

My other sister has autism to a severe degree, and she's living together with an alcoholic guy who was a drug addict in the past. They have 2 children together, who are already showing dysfunctional behaviour, even for their age ( 3 and 5 ). They are already obsessed with cleaning ( because of my sisters ocd ). These children also know no limits, and their dad slaps and kicks them whenever he feels like it ( i feel like he's always overreacting because of alcohol withdrawal ). He always smells like alcohol, and i can see that at times he can barely stand on his feet.

Because all of this, i barely visit them anymore. There is such a bad vibe surrounding them and i can't stand seeing how these children are already getting traumatized, getting kicked and slapped for no good reason,... 

 

I don't really know what to do with this. I feel obligated to keep in contact with them, but at the same time i know i'm going to suffer a lot if i do so, because i can't seem to accept all of what they are doing.

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8 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

So bad

Im sorry

Just stay away.

Yea, wish it was that easy. They tend to ask why i haven't visited them in such a long time, and try to make me feel guilty about it :/.

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@Psyche_92 I am sorry to hear the extent of your family problems. But I have to agree that staying away might be the only real viable option. Just because you are blood related doesnt mean that they have some special privilege for your time and distress. You wouldn't keep "friends" like that around would you?

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20 minutes ago, Shroomdoctor said:

@Psyche_92 I am sorry to hear the extent of your family problems. But I have to agree that staying away might be the only real viable option. Just because you are blood related doesnt mean that they have some special privilege for your time and distress. You wouldn't keep "friends" like that around would you?

Nope. Already ditched "friends" that were like that. Probably going to take responsibility for my life and do what's best for me here. Already knew that, just wanted to vent i guess xd.

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