Curing Neuroticism?

[Omario]

Hey.

a fair percentage of the world is categorized as neurotic, i happen to as many others fall into that category.

So now there is a problem, and to every problem there is a solution.

What are your remedies for curing a neurotic psyche.

Are there any specific exercises? Books? 

Edited April 14, 2018 by Omario

[Arman]

The first step would be to drop labels

Although certain people are diagnosed as neurotic, most commonly they're displaying the same symptoms that the rest of the population are experiencing but perhaps to a more acute (or sometimes just more apparent) degree. 

If even someone who is considered to be mentally healthy were to observe their mind with great humility, there would be the observation of a near constant neurosis - even if subtle, there is a constant wanting to escape the moment, to gain, to manipulate, to project meaning or labels. This is the function of the linear egoic mind. 

The demonization of these qualities of the mind lead to compounded neurosis, and the labelled 'neurotic' now enters another battle, resisting his thoughts, feelings and behaviors in an effort to solve the problem. Of course we all know what happens when we resist something. 

It's important to recognize that the mind or ego as we're describing it is the result of millions of years of development through the animal kingdom, and it is the vehicle by which we have reached our current stage of evolution. It's only by this mechanism that we now have the capacity to transcend it and raise our consciousness. It is not useful to dwell in guilt and anxiety about our minds as if something has gone terribly wrong. When a shift in attitude is made to respect and observe the phenomena as simply natural and perfect phenomena of life itself (or divinity), the attachment to what is occurring starts to soften. 

In and of itself these thoughts and impulses are not the cause of suffering. The mind can run rampant like the wildest monkey and if held within a certain inner context, the experience of it doesn't cause discomfort. 

It is in the importance we place upon the phenomena that creates inner fixation, inner attachment and heaviness. They are not just thoughts, they are my thoughts. They are my behaviors and they are my neurosis. If one can surrender the sense of 'me-ness' applied to the phenomena occurring, then a great deal of pressure is released and the thoughts and feelings are simply observed as interesting and peculiar occurrences within spaciousness, and it is revealed that even though all this apparent madness within the mind was always going on, there was always a great deal of peace and silence in which all this was arising. This was previously being ignored due to the hypnotic fixation of 'me'. Eventually one starts to shift their sense of identity to the spaciousness rather than the phenomena which arises within it. 

As fixation and sense of self starts to be removed from the phenomena, the pressures behind the neurosis start to relinquish and the unwanted behaviors disappear by themselves automatically and effortlessly.

---

The source of the feelings, thoughts and behaviors themselves are the suppressed and unwanted feelings and energies that we have stuffed down throughout our lives because we don't know what to do with them. Through various practices like vipassana, letting go, mindfulness or many healing modalities, as these energies start to become relinquished then the behaviors that spawn from them also disappear. Many, including myself, can attest to this firsthand. 

So my twofold suggestion would be to

1. Make a decision to stop demonizing the ego and start to observe it with a detached loving coolness. It is just intrinsic phenomena which doesn't actually need your constant attention. It is like fish jumping out of the water. With practice, the experience of the light/spaciousness/peace in which all this occurring starts to shine through.

2. Allow the relinquishing of the energies behind the compulsive behaviors by dropping resistance to them as they arise. You can do this by ignoring the thoughts and instead placing your awareness gently on the energy feeling behind the thoughts and simply allowing it to be as it is. You will notice that as resistance is dropped, the energy starts to dissipate. This practice, done repeatedly and with consistency on any given subject or feeling will eventually integrate it completely and create the relevant transformation in behavior. Eg. if fear is relinquished, then natural spontaneous peace takes its place. 

Edited April 14, 2018 by Arman

[pluto]

Chemicals imbalances. Diet/Lifestyle choices are the biggest players.

[Omario]

@pluto More specifically, its the high levels of octopamine opposite to the levels of serotonin. 

[Ether]

2 hours ago, pluto said:

Chemicals imbalances. 

Funny joke

[Akim]

Several suggestions, may be some of them will work for you.

 

1. Accept that you have have lower threshold for negative emotion activation than most people ans so you need to be more compassionate to yourself and also more creative in finding ways to deal with it.
2. Try to improve your social situation, cultivate bonds with good people.
3. If you are in relationship, sex, physical touch can help. If you are not you can go to massage or something like that.
4. Try some bath or other raw body experiences like that.
5. Find small or big things that make you feel more happy, confident, in control and do them.
6. Try to face and become more conscious of the problems that you have without repeated negative thoughts. Try to look at them from different angles, think what can you improve in your situation.
7. Try to act in opposite of negative feeling. If you avoid something, it can reinforce negative pattern in your brain, if you approach it and survive negative pattern becomes weaker.
8. If you are stuck in negative loop think something like "OK, this is bad, but it is no good to think how bad is it, it is better to think what are the solutions or things in other areas that I can do to improve my overall situation".
9. Walk outside, preferably in nature, if you can.
10. Meditate, for example loving kindness meditation
11. If you are religious may be prayer can help.
12. Try to verbalize something that bothers you, write it down. May be you can do something about it. Or you can let go, you can try to burn the paper down it or destroy in other way and see if it helps.
13. Build routines, so that you can go through your day and have a good one without having to make too much decisions. Have meaningful rituals in your day, to give it structure.
14. Consume wholesome information. It may be stupid like https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/ and also it is not stupid if it works or you can watch some comedy, try older movies, I personally find many of them calmer and warmer. Try fiction books.
15.  Avoid information that is not helpful to you. It may be news, resentful negative memes, nihilistic relativistic philosophy and so on.

Edited April 14, 2018 by Akim

[Nahm]

@Omario Could you describe what you mean by your neuroticism? What are you experiencing which you’re calling that? Break it down with some clarity. I think it will help to reveal the facets of how it was created, and allow for more specific advice on it’s undoing & healing. 

[sholomar]

Neurotic behavior is basically behavior driven by our monkey mind, the limbic system, or behavior driven by our emotions when we let emotions control us. Fixing neurotic behavior?  Read the book "Your Survival Instinct is Killing You" and listen to Leo's videos.. everything you need is there. The best things to fix neurotic behavior are things like mindfulness, acceptance, and visualization. What you focus your attention on and repeat over and over will eventually create new neural connections in the brain.. new habits.

Keep in mind the old habits will still be there so it will take some level of work/effort to maintain your new habits and state of being once you achieve them. Leo's video on the Happiness Spectrum will give you a good idea of what kinds of goals to focus on... basically avoid hedonism and short term gratification, things you think will make you happy but really just leave you feeling more empty after you're done. 

Nofap, a clean diet, and lifting are things a man can do that create long term goals that leave you with a sort of satisfaction you can't really "buy" .. the satisfaction that comes with goal setting and the work it takes to achieve those goals. These are just three examples.. there are others. Listen to Leo's happiness spectrum video. 

Along with this mindfulness allows you to accept your emotional ebbs and flows without letting them control you. Your emotions are basically habits formed through time by repetition.. say you get irritated at a long stoplight or other drivers.. this is an easy one a lot of people have.. mindfulness lets you observe your reaction without judgment and from acceptance you can come to make a change to your behavior.. modify your thoughts so over time you no longer get upset when driving. Again just one example... other examples would be encountering resistance when you try to make a new habit.. say you don't really "feel" like working out but you observe this feeling and do it anyways.. or you have a craving for a bad food, and you observe the craving without acting on it.... by not giving into cravings and temptations but mindfully accepting they are there, over time you will form new habits and reap the rewards of your personal development work. 

Edited April 14, 2018 by sholomar

[Omario]

@Nahm The inner conflict i have with myself within every aspect of my life. socially, academically, creatively.... 

[Truth]

Lying, dishonesty and a deep lack of self reflection. This topic goes incredibly deep, Leo has videos on self deception, morality, awareness, fake growth, low quality consciousness, false skepticism, lying etc. 

[Nahm]

@Omario What is it you want to do? What is it you want to stop doing?

[eskwire]

There's this YouTube channel called Actualized.org. Pretty good. ?

[Omario]

@eskwire funny.

@Nahm Ultimately i want to stop justifying the good things in life as bad, somehow finding a way to make it seem as if the so called "good" things that happened are actually bad. Always trying to predict the next bad thing, effected by peoples opinions, afraid of being alone and isolated.

Tell me what you concluded from that, i believe your opinion to be of value. 

Edited April 15, 2018 by Omario

[Matt8800]

On 4/13/2018 at 9:13 PM, Omario said:

Hey.

a fair percentage of the world is categorized as neurotic, i happen to as many others fall into that category.

So now there is a problem, and to every problem there is a solution.

What are your remedies for curing a neurotic psyche.

Are there any specific exercises? Books? 

Ive found that neuroticism and mindfulness cannot co-exist. Leo does a video on mindfulness alone is curative that explains it further.

I used to be highly neurotic but not anymore

Edited April 15, 2018 by Matt8800

[Omario]

@Matt8800

Ok I'm going to assume that what you said about yourself is true, that you are no longer neurotic. What does it feel like? How has your confidence been effected. Have you become more social? Have you been able to make transformations that with otherwise with neuroticism wouldn't be possible?

How do experience life differently? 

[Joseph Maynor]

Enlightenment work is the cure for neuroses.  Hands down.   I still remember the day when I realized my neuroses died off and I was like -- woah!  There's a post on here of me talking about it after it happened.  One of the signs you are awakening is your neuroses go bye-bye.  

See?  I wasn't joking!  This was 10 months ago.

 

Edited April 15, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[lmfao]

@Arman good advice. I feel like I needed to read this thread, since I've been in a constant state of anxiety and worrying for weeks on end due to external circumstances and my reaction to them. I feel mentally drained in every way lol.