The human condition; spiritual alchemy

[deci belle]

A very wonderfully thoughtful person has been PMing with me lately and I am posting one of the installments of our conversation which is rather long.

For those who are interested in the general topic, I hope it is a worthwhile read…

That inkling and constant knowledge of the unattainable is universal. Call it saudade, that's a Brasilian term. Also Brian Wilson often conjured that space in the latter classic Beach Boys tunes. His "tripping" affected him profoundly. You feel the potential and also the sadness~ that's what haunts humanity. It's a beautiful thing. Don Juan Matus called it the "terror and wonder of being a man". It's the aspect of the created human condition— it's very deep~ I suppose it's what constitutes our heart-felt sense of being.

I write about what matters to me; about what I know. It's probably that you sense the veracity that resonates with your innate knowledge. The sudden is just an instantaneous experience of utter familiarity with who you already are, who you have always been, in terms of what underlies our personalities— that which has never begun. We already know somehow— and experiencing that is most important, BUT… it's not up to us as individuals to facilitate the experience. There's no need. Enlightenment is all there is and delusion is the only place to see it and use it, in terms of seeing and absorbing potential in real life— not just the instantaneous experience of the Absolute.

As I mentioned earlier, the science of life (which isn't really taoist per se) is not dependent on the sudden and can be taught. The science of essence (your nature) cannot be taught. The ancient dictum is "see essence on your own, then seek a teacher".

For me, how do I stop fighting things and being frustrated when I know that this enlightenment thing is real, and it's out there, and I can have it as long as I don't try too hard to get it? That's confounding. Did you "do" anything to facilitate it? Meditation, psychedelics, or any of the modalities that everyone suggests for spiritual awakening?

Because I was a single child, I eventually had to learn to fight, which was very frustrating too.

I was lucky, I never knew enlightenment was a thing to want, to do, to experience. I guess I sensed that the source of my haunting wonder was already "me". I must admit that I was a willing victim of overwhelming wonder— and it served me well. I never thought about it at all in terms of a thing "out there". Ultimately, it's not out there inasmuch as the world IS you. Taoism says that "the world is the sage". There's no "out there". The world is it and your open sincerity to whatever is at any given time in spite of the world's psychological momentum, is the key: it's not what you see, it's why you see. When you realize that you see because of your unborn aware nature, which is utterly selfless and void of content, you can begin to displace the personality patterns that are obviously untrue in the same way that you felt that organized religion was sensed as untrue.

You can use the unborn to see what is, or you can use it to sustain the illusion that perpetuates the false self. That much doesn't depend on sudden realization. It's a matter of gradually and subtly emptying oneself of oneself bit by bit and managing just that in the midst of, and by virtue of, everyday ordinary situations. Just this is 24/7 meditation.

Rote sitting meditation is never to be discounted; obviously, you know the benefits of regular sitting meditation after just a very short time. I'm not necessarily "sensitive", but evidently I take things to heart in such a way as to deeply process everyday ordinary experiences, so I have never done formal meditation over the course of my life. Perhaps this may be a benefit of borderline autism(?), I don't know.

So "emptying" oneself isn't about diminishing the self as much as it is clarifying potential for receptive virtue to accumulate. You will be able to witness untold inhumanity passing for ordinary discourse with understanding because the virtue of receptivity is the capacity for extreme subtlety in terms of understanding not-understanding. That's entry into inconceivability. Anyone can understand understanding; this is where there is a parting of the ways without anyone being the wiser. Why? There is truly nothing to know. Just letting this much go incrementally dissolves the pillars of ego without a trace. In the same way, in terms of the aftermath of sudden realization, the traces of enlightenment are also dissolved. Dogen said, "People become buddhas and buddhas become people."

The fact is that you can't have enlightenment because it's already you right now. In that sense, you'll never have it, even after you see your nature. Before or after, nothing changes. THAT'S WHAT IT IS. it's the Causeless. It's already you, which hasn't begun. That's why awakening to your innate unborn awareness resolves everything on the spot (not that you won't be dealing with situations simultaneously). You won't be different or see anything differently after the sudden because you've already always been so (enlightened). Since this is the case, awakening to one's unborn awareness doesn't depend on the sudden.

Nevertheless, it is very important to conduct oneself with mindful clarity to assume complete responsibility for carrying out innocent wonder with which to properly experience the interruption of conditioned conscious awareness (either all-at-once or moment by moment), even though we are potentially able to prove we were born knowing— and are therefore intrinsically able to implement the innate capacity of non-knowing causeless non-origination without formally interrupting consciousness for the first time. This gets back to "mastering" the meaning underlying the 3rd and 4th hexagrams of the I Ching (Book of Changes): difficulty+innocence=endless transformations without karmic bondage.

Taoist spiritual alchemy is somewhat akin to the idea of "collecting the sparks" of mystical Judaism. In terms of words, it is a matter of "freeing potential from the karmic matrix."

All one can do is be single-minded within one's inconceivable objectless wonder and use that to displace the stultifying patterns that perpetuate the false self's dominion over the being that is going to die. Doing so makes one's steps lighter and facilitates a subtle fluidity to one's response-body (which is the world). There's no one thing implied. It's a 360˚ spherical deposition resulting in a reference-point void of personality's pre-eminence.

In terms of one's enlightening function, just this IS potential. Because (in terms of alchemy, spiritual or otherwise) it being imperative to work with what is the same, what is able to see and work with potential is just potential. It's awareness. This would not be possible if it were not for the fact that people are inconceivable beings naturally partaking of potential whether they know it or not. We are already enlightening beings independent of the personality. Actualizing the function is initially a matter of dropping the harmful psychological patterns reifying the personality— so no need to drop the "healthy" patterns. That can be accomplished gradually, after the sudden, in terms of further self-refinement— which is an endless process.

Conversely, purposely not focusing on it is a losing strategy, because I know it's real, it's the ultimate earthbound knowledge and I know that I ain't got it. How to find a middle ground.....that's my biggest life issue right now.

Keep the focus— it is to be "diffused" in a 360˚ sphere of non-psychological awareness; that is, not focussed relative to the self or even on "what is" but rather "as is". Awareness is itself just this "as is". Ultimately, there is no thing. Awareness, uncreated, is just it; is just as is.

Pure awareness is selfless knowledge (not in terms of things, but) as the expression of one's inconceivable nature, which is awake and nothing more. "Exercising" the focus in this manner diffuses the energy habituated to perpetuating the false identity through self-reification by spreading it so thin that the habit energy polluting innate awareness loses its initial grip and ultimately, its overbearing power over the being that is going to die. Self-refinement carried out with unbending intent over a long long time is just this subtlety. Energy freed of its habituated momentum reverts to potential, which is very becoming, non?

What's real is awareness itself. THERE IS NO THING. Reality as is, is just the awake quality that is our nature. That's why I say the 360˚ focus is not on "things"— it's just a matter of "exercising", experiencing, the use of awareness as an utterly diffused "focal point" void of habitual self-reification.

It's a matter of creating a vast suspension of the particulars constituting the personality via the re-focussing of awareness and letting whatever goes by the wayside be forgotten.

Awareness is one; mind is one. The trick is to set up a subterfuge, like a big conceptually gossamer donut in the sky that spins so slowly and continues to slow down, by virtue of one's psychological momentum losing its tendencies, without having to "do" anything by the personality's power (which would set up an equally powerful reaction). Therefore habit energy loses its "gravity" so to speak, heretofore having stultified itself as one's otherwise spontaneous enlightening potential. The energy doesn't go anywhere. The habituated energy of mass (momentum) is what is perpetuating the false identity's karmic power over one's innate selfless enlightening potential. So the "purified" (void of momentum) energy reverts to its proper capacity in terms of one's spontaneous enlightening function because spontaneity is the result of fluid stillness. "Pollution" is simply energy subject to karmic momentum. It is allowed to die of its own ever-diminishing centripetal proclivities.

Surprisingly, if it were not for karma's dual aspect (dual in itself, yet also paired with the absolute in this critical analysis), the natural restoration of unified potential as one's innate enlightening function would not be the case. It's just the way it is and no one knows why. Otherwise, in terms of one's enlightening function, there is no "good" karma, because all karma binds one to the incremental. The point of enlightening practice is to "purify" residual karma by mindful self-refinement so as to be able to take on the karma in terms of the world's inexorable situational evolution, which is, in truth, one's own self moment to moment. It is not that one would consider "looking for things to fix", the working definition of enlightening activity, because enlightening activity does not depend on one's own power. It is not a matter of "doing".

Arriving at this is precisely what doesn't depend on the sudden. It is a matter of self-refinement by using situations to refine the self instead of using situations to gratify the self.

Seeing the difference is the middle-ground you seek. Just seeing is the critical aspect. It is not a matter of doing at all. When you know what's real, situations are tailor-made to exhibit the potential. In seeing potential, you do not do anything with it. THAT is spiritual alchemy. In buddhist terms, seeing is the Supreme Vehicle of buddhas, activated by taking to the middle-way which is neither temporal nor absolute. This is Suchness, true reality void of either extreme.

It can't be faked. You have to see it in order to not use it. Ordinarily, people see potential as conditioned energy out of sheer habit and use it to foment self-serving illusion. In doing so, potential changes into energy, whereby it enters the created sphere and sustains karmic momentum incurring further cycles birth and death without end. And it won't do to see it and "white-knuckle" oneself in terms of self-suppressed craving (ala classic Alcoholics Anonymous terminology).

One actually has to "give in" and work in its (delusion's) midst while gradually introducing wisdom. The taoist saying is "follow desire without stepping over the line." "Following desire" is in not denying potential; "not stepping over the line" is gradually introducing guiding wisdom according to the time in order to withdraw at the peak of potential. Just this is Difficulty, the 3rd hexagram. Carrying out the aftermath of withdrawal at the peak of potential is the meaning, effect and method of accomplishing the time of Innocence/Darkness, the 4th hexagram. I find the latter operation extremely subtle in nature—though it can be accomplished by degree, so not all is necessarily lost,in terms of "gathering" the potential (if "done" so clumsily) which is then "further refined in the empty vessel, void of intellectualism." Sometimes psychological rumination is not so easy to avoid— yet it must be accomplished, otherwise the "unrefined" potential gathered in any given karmic cycle is wasted in vain.

In technical terms, which you can research on your own, the critical juncture of every created cycle subject to the spiritual alchemic "operation" is called the Yin Convergence.

In terms of the taoist overview, this is accomplishing endless transformations, planting lotuses in fire, sublimating oneself physically and spiritually and entering the tao in reality.

So do yourself a favor and forget about enlightenment, per se. Re-focus a bit and assess the huge arena in which to set to work, which is what comprises the actuality of "jumping in and floating around in the center of the compass."

sPLash!!

 

 

ed note: add "I must admit that I was a willing victim of overwhelming wonder— and it served me well." in 8th; zapped a typo somewhere in the middle

Edited April 14, 2018 by deci belle

[Monkey-man]

do u have blog

[deci belle]

hi Monkey-homme!

I used to have a tumblr blog for a few years (also had a Wordpress blog too) before and after the recreationally-pedantic powers-that-be at the daobums website banned me.

They asserted that theirs' was a "main-stream" venue (gag me). I deduced what would eventually happen as a result of my outspoken nature, so that's why I started those blogs in the first place. Not very much traffic, as you might very well imagine. I suspect that about .02% of any given population at any given time experiences a predilection for my content. That's the sweet-spot I write for.

But it's been at least three years since then, I think. I hadn't been online in any capacity since that time. I have been hanging out here of late, not intending to make a habit out of it…

Would you like me to start one again, or are you suggesting that I should go to my special place to do zis, hmmmm? heeheehee❤︎!!

[Monkey-man]

On 15/04/2018 at 3:33 AM, deci belle said:

Would you like me to start one again, or are you suggesting that I should go to my special place to do zis, hmmmm? heeheehee❤︎!!

haha of course not the second.

I mean I learn many new things or new ways of understanding spirituality even from just one post you write, so I wondered whether you have collection of your writings somewhere, I'd like to read them. If you ever start blog again send me a link plz!

[deci belle]

i sso sassy❤︎!!

There are about 6~7 years of my posts on The Dao Bums forum. Some of it ain't so pretty cuz of how I was subject to the abusive "free speech" policy by the resident pack of literalist translators trolling that website.

They were pretty covetous of their "understanding" of ancient Chinese taoist teachers, teachings and traditions.

But it's only a small percentage of the articles I posted.

They actually had an "Articles" section, but after I pretty much camped out in the "Articles" section and didn't want to hang out with them— just talking about what the words mean,— void of the experiential source behind the words, they got rid of that section. It was an interesting time I had there.  I had some strong support, but the milieu was overall pretty ignorant of the point of the original writings' focus toward actualization. It didn't help that I referred to that bunch as the "recreational philosophers" …heehee!!

You would probably need to register with the Dao Bums forum to have easy access to the articles attributable to "deci belle".

I appreciate your interest, Monkey-man~ merciiiiii❤︎

 

ed note: bold> "The Dao Bums" 1st paragraph

Edited April 17, 2018 by deci belle

[deci belle]

bonjour, brovakhiin~

Yes, "interrupting consciousness" is a term used to describe the instance (or consequence) that results in sudden illumination when experiencing the Absolute, as it is the break in the continuous stream of thought constituting the individual's false identity that precipitates complete perfect enlightenment, being the reversion to one's inherent non-origination before time.

It doesn't happen per se; just this is a priori without ever beginning. Seeing this by virtue of interrupting one's conditioned stream of thought-consciousness for the first time is what seeing your nature constitutes. It is experiential proof of one's selfless non-originated aware potential heretofore obscured by habit-energy (self-reifying thought patterns).

I alluded to an aspect of this in terms of facilitating interruption of conditioned awareness within the temporal sphere of ordinary incremental (karmic) existence. In other words, "interrupting consciousness" isn't necessarily fully dependent on all-at-once sudden illumination— it is the gradual "grain by grain" accumulation of potential (in terms of spiritual alchemy) that results in the sudden.

In terms of spiritual alchemy, it is by the cumulative potential "gathered" in the course of transcending innumerable created (karmic) cycles that one experiences transcendence of the total cycle of an entire lifetime whereby the great matter of life and death is resolved micro and macro-cosmically.

In the further maturation of this event, one may eventually actualize transcendence per the individual karmic existence in fact (not just potential) and one thus consummates entry into inconceivability.

It's not like one ever "crosses the finish-line"— there is no end to spiritual evolution. Why? It is already beginninglessly causeless. The causeless is already inconceivability. It's already oneself right now.

Knowing the Causless is immediate transcendence of karmic evolution. Proving it in the midst of everyday ordinary affairs unbeknownst to anyone is further maturation of the accomplishment.

So what precipitates seeing your nature (in terms of the absolute) or "gathering" potential (in terms of temporal existence) is the actualization of non-psychological awareness. It's not other than your own mind right now, that is, one's thinking capacity, but neither is it the same. Just the non-psychological itself is the spiritual capacity and primal selfless awareness of enlightening being.

Mind is one.

When the non-psychological spontaneously appears in the midst of ordinary consciousness, it is most important to recognize its potential and "gather" it at once. Doing so is called "using yin to nurture yang"; using essence to nurture sense; using spirit to gather real knowledge". Seeing reality and  "gathering" its potential is one in the same. It is not that one actually "gathers" anything. This operation requires effort, yet it is neither easy nor difficult. The 3rd hexagram of the I Ching is a crystallization of the correlating phase: Difficulty.

What follows (seeing or gathering) is the most subtle and critical aspect in all of spiritual alchemy; this is the occult meaning of the 4th hexagram of the I Ching. Taoism calls this the "ten months of incubation" in the aftermath of "taking over creation and stealing its potential". The 4th hexagram is Darkness. 

After a long long time of continuous subtle concentration over months and years, the accumulation of "gathered" potential results in a stabilization of one's spiritual non-psychological capacity, whereby its bright virtue is actualized in the individual and one's enlightening function comes to the fore. In taoist lore, this is when the spiritual embryo spontaneously emerges after being purified in the empty vessel void of intellectualism.

This is where one's "dragging a boat through mud and water" initially reaches a point of functional unity within the wholistic potential comprising the essence of karmic evolution (creation), and one begins to see essence by virtue of delusional existence. It's not that there really is "mud and water" and/or "clear sailing". The point of authentic spiritual practice (in terms of enlightening potential) is awakening to the actualization of one's spiritual function that expresses being fully deluded within delusion. Such stabilization of consciousness is the reversion of one's ego function in the service of one's enlightening potential. Such is actualized Buddhahood, that is, seeing reality by virtue of delusion. Reality isn't somewhere else, otherwise obscured by delusion— they are one and the same.

As mind is neither absolute nor temporal, so also is the nature of reality or Suchness.

 

 

ed note: add 2nd paragraph;a bunch in the middle; add last three lines of penultimate paragraph

Edited April 19, 2018 by deci belle