why should i need a girlfriend?

[WildeChilde]

6 hours ago, TheSomeBody said:

i have an analitical type of thinking, i pursue enlightenment and i really dont like to go out (except for being in the moment stuff,like going to the beach , nature) , i mean it is fine to go out but the value for it is little. if i go out i do it to talk to other people so i could get another perspective about life and about my thinking failure. getting a girlfriend just gonna be a distraction of my goals, take my time. sex is not as valuable as enlightenment or meditation. i see leo's videos and i dont get it , why he pushing his audience to get into a relationship? what is the goal? 

Just do your thing man; some guys enjoy and are made for the single life (myself included).  Be sure to keep your health and bank account in good shape.

 

 

[Truth]

@TheSomeBody

We're not saying you should be in a relationship, we're not saying you shouldn't be in a relationship, that would be denying a part of reality. Life isn't about reaching some deep enlightened state. it's about experiencing life fully right now in the present moment! (aka deep enlightened state)

The only problem here is you're not conscious of this consistently all the time! The only thing you're forgetting or distracting yourself is from this insight! 

The idea/thought that "you should or shouldn't be in a relationship" is the TRUE distraction you should be conscious of.

This belief/idea that say's "women/relationships will distract me" is itself the problem.

I hear you say "I know! that's why I need to pursue enlightenment."  But you don't realize yet that just by asking these questions you're still fundamentally dependent on something other than yourself to give you the insight or enlightenment that you seek.

Practically speaking, being in a relationship could distract you from this insight, but also realize that it's really just you keeping you from your own enlightenment in the end, always, it's never anything other than yourself. 

 

Edited April 14, 2018 by Truth

[Key Elements]

7 hours ago, TheSomeBody said:

i think that knowing how is being in a healthy relationship helps you to know how to balance emotions and how does people influence each other and understanding the oness. i didnt think about it deeply so there is more to it.

This is Leo's relationship clip on detachment:

As you know, detachment is also very much related to enlightenment. If a person ever saw and became the no-self and went back into the ego, the person will understand the oneness, yet the person is detached from all that. Can this word detachment be applied into a relationship? The answer is: yes. If you can fully and practically understand it, great. If two egos are detached, and yet work together as a team throughout life, that is the basis for a healthy relationship. 

[TheSomeBody]

 

10 hours ago, Truth said:

@TheSomeBody

We're not saying you should be in a relationship, we're not saying you shouldn't be in a relationship, that would be denying a part of reality. Life isn't about reaching some deep enlightened state. it's about experiencing life fully right now in the present moment! (aka deep enlightened state)

The only problem here is you're not conscious of this consistently all the time! The only thing you're forgetting or distracting yourself is from this insight! 

The idea/thought that "you should or shouldn't be in a relationship" is the TRUE distraction you should be conscious of.

This belief/idea that say's "women/relationships will distract me" is itself the problem.

I hear you say "I know! that's why I need to pursue enlightenment."  But you don't realize yet that just by asking these questions you're still fundamentally dependent on something other than yourself to give you the insight or enlightenment that you seek.

Practically speaking, being in a relationship could distract you from this insight, but also realize that it's really just you keeping you from your own enlightenment in the end, always, it's never anything other than yourself. 

 

so i should not care about it?

8 hours ago, Key Elements said:

This is Leo's relationship clip on detachment:

As you know, detachment is also very much related to enlightenment. If a person ever saw and became the no-self and went back into the ego, the person will understand the oneness, yet the person is detached from all that. Can this word detachment be applied into a relationship? The answer is: yes. If you can fully and practically understand it, great. If two egos are detached, and yet work together as a team throughout life, that is the basis for a healthy relationship. 

but if i dont need her, why should i do it?

6 hours ago, Outer said:

To procreate and have children, like all of your ancestors for billions of years.

our ancestors didnt have a phone

[Moreira]

19 hours ago, TheSomeBody said:

yes because i will have other projects to work on. 

or all i will do is just taking care on my survivel and just being. 

If you become enlightened you wont have other projects to work on because your ego will disolve. 

[tsuki]

@TheSomeBody Looking for utility in life endeavors is a futile exercise. Any chain of reasoning that you carry out long enough will lead you to a non-answer such as:

• I want to. (Do you really?)
• I should to. (By which morality?)
• It is a normal thing to do. (Judging by what standards?)
• Because I have to live! (No, you don't!)
• etc

You can ask a 'why' question forever only because you do not accept such answers, which are, in fact, correct answers when taken seriously.
It is always that you first recognize a need for something, and only then you look for a reason to do it. There is no reason for wanting something, nor there is a reason to live. You simply do. You were brought into this world without any say in the matter and you will depart from it in the same way. Reason is not a domain of existential questions such as pursuit of a relationship.

Don't get me wrong - reason is a very useful tool in its domain. I'm a mechanical engineer myself and reason keeps me fed and clothed. 

I will now say the same thing twice, from two different points of view. The point is, that they are equivalent formulations of the same situation:

1. When you will meet a right person, you will know.
2. When you are ready, any person will do.

Sometimes, you just have to get so abysmally sick of your suffering that you will simply grab a solution that you always knew would work, but was too afraid to reach out for.

As for the enlightenment part - how do you expect to die, if you have never even fully lived?
Having a relationship means that you expose yourself with all of your animal nature to another person while getting the same thing back.
And guess what - we are all, simply put, bald apes. It is enough to keep us entertained without silly ideas of becoming a saint.

[Ether]

1 hour ago, Moreira said:

If you become enlightened you wont have other projects to work on because your ego will disolve. 

Not true. Yes, the need to do work will dissapear. But you can do what you please.

@TheSomeBody You dont need a girlfriend. Its optional.

[Truth]

2 hours ago, TheSomeBody said:

so i should not care about it?

You can do BOTH. Enlightenment is always here right now for you. The quicker you realize that the more you'll see that you can do both and the only thing keeping you from enlightenment is you. 

Stop thinking that anything external is the thing distracting you, that would be blaming something other than yourself for your unconsciousness. It's only you distracting yourself. Pursue a relationship, that's fine, but don't use it as an excuse or a rationalization or a rule to not be enlightened and vice versa, don't use enlightenment as an excuse, rationalization or a rule not to pursue a relationship.

Edited April 14, 2018 by Truth

[TheSomeBody]

50 minutes ago, Truth said:

You can do BOTH. Enlightenment is always here right now for you. The quicker you realize that the more you'll see that you can do both and the only thing keeping you from enlightenment is you. 

Stop thinking that anything external is the thing distracting you, that would be blaming something other than yourself for your unconsciousness. It's only you distracting yourself. Pursue a relationship, that's fine, but don't use it as an excuse or a rationalization or a rule to not be enlightened and vice versa, don't use enlightenment as an excuse, rationalization or a rule not to pursue a relationship.

so what should i do?

1 hour ago, tsuki said:

@TheSomeBody Looking for utility in life endeavors is a futile exercise. Any chain of reasoning that you carry out long enough will lead you to a non-answer such as:

• I want to. (Do you really?)
• I should to. (By which morality?)
• It is a normal thing to do. (Judging by what standards?)
• Because I have to live! (No, you don't!)
• etc

You can ask a 'why' question forever only because you do not accept such answers, which are, in fact, correct answers when taken seriously.
It is always that you first recognize a need for something, and only then you look for a reason to do it. There is no reason for wanting something, nor there is a reason to live. You simply do. You were brought into this world without any say in the matter and you will depart from it in the same way. Reason is not a domain of existential questions such as pursuit of a relationship.

Don't get me wrong - reason is a very useful tool in its domain. I'm a mechanical engineer myself and reason keeps me fed and clothed. 

I will now say the same thing twice, from two different points of view. The point is, that they are equivalent formulations of the same situation:

1. When you will meet a right person, you will know.
2. When you are ready, any person will do.

Sometimes, you just have to get so abysmally sick of your suffering that you will simply grab a solution that you always knew would work, but was too afraid to reach out for.

As for the enlightenment part - how do you expect to die, if you have never even fully lived?
Having a relationship means that you expose yourself with all of your animal nature to another person while getting the same thing back.
And guess what - we are all, simply put, bald apes. It is enough to keep us entertained without silly ideas of becoming a saint.

 i have to be in relationshop to get enlightenment?

 

 

[Prabhaker]

22 hours ago, TheSomeBody said:

why he pushing his audience to get into a relationship? what is the goal? 

May be we need to learn something, the hard way. 

[Key Elements]

3 hours ago, TheSomeBody said:

but if i dont need her, why should i do it?

It's your choice. I was further explaining how enlightenment relates to relationships. Detachment is the key word. 

[Truth]

11 minutes ago, TheSomeBody said:

so what should i do?

 i have to be in relationshop to get enlightenment?

 

 

[Prabhaker]

17 minutes ago, TheSomeBody said:

i have to be in relationshop to get enlightenment?

To be in relationship is necessary to stop your questioning. To be in love is essential to get enlightenment.

[tsuki]

1 hour ago, TheSomeBody said:

so what should i do?

 i have to be in relationshop to get enlightenment?

@TheSomeBody What do you need enlightenment for?

[TheSomeBody]

4 minutes ago, tsuki said:

@TheSomeBody What do you need enlightenment for?

killing the depression and live fully? i am just in my baby step

50 minutes ago, Truth said:

i think i get it? i just need to want it?

[tsuki]

4 minutes ago, tsuki said:

@TheSomeBody What do you need enlightenment for?

 

1 minute ago, TheSomeBody said:

killing the depression and live fully? i am just in my baby step

@TheSomeBody What do you need life for?

[TheSomeBody]

5 minutes ago, tsuki said:

 

@TheSomeBody What do you need life for?

because i can

[tsuki]

1 minute ago, TheSomeBody said:

because i can

So you don't need life, and yet - you still live it. 
You need enlightenment to live your unnecessary life, fully.
Do you really need a girlfriend?
Do you really need enlightenment?

You don't, as you don't need to live.
Some people at this point may ask: but tsuki, are you saying that I should kill myself?!

Death is as meaningless as life. You will die regardless of your actions, so why not stick around and watch the fireworks while they last?

 

[Truth]

32 minutes ago, TheSomeBody said:

i think i get it? i just need to want it?

Here's some videos for you that would be really good to invest your time in watching and thinking about. 

A Rant Against Morality - Very Foundational

How To Stop Moralizing - Removing The SHOULDs From Your Life

Responsibility vs Blame - Why You Are 100% Responsible For Everything

>>>>>>>>>* How To Deal With Confusion *<<<<<<<<<<

Understanding Meaning, Purpose, & Value

 

Edited April 14, 2018 by Truth

[Barbarian Number 8]

@TheSomeBody  Since you ask, I think that a girlfriend is not for you at this point in time.

The possibility should be considered.

 

It is kind of funny that other people tryies to convince you about the "why".   

That desire should come from self not from somebody who sells you the idea......

I am bit suprised that noone havent tryied to sell you a boyfriend or sheep yet.