The wild adventures of a personal development noob

[Emne]

Here I will write about my journey into personal development and self actualization. Some of the topics I will write about are: Searching for my life purpose, meditation, mindfulness and dealing with negative emotions. 

[Emne]

Dealing with negative emotions

We all feel pain, fear, sadness and anger. It is in our biology as a mechanism that will help us survive and reproduce. Most people try to escape this by distracting themselves. What I have learned is that it is much better to accept and be mindful of these feelings. A great video on this topic is "How to deal with strong negative emotions". I have had some disappointments during the last weeks, but when I was mindful of my feelings I didn´t suffer from them anymore. On the contrary life felt more "full" and "real". I want to experience life in it´s entirety, both the good and the bad, the happiness and suffering, and I hope that one day I can say yes to everything. 

[Emne]

My current goal- to slow down life and live more mindfully 

Hello again. I have several times tried to slow down the pace of my life and avoid pointless distractions, but have always after some progress fallen back into old habits. My goal here is to do less things, but instead do them in a slow, deliberate and mindful manner. I hope that this time (when I have this journal and your support) I will be able to make a permanent change in my life. I will also be writing about other stuff as well, mostly random thoughts on life. Thanks for reading and wish me good luck

[Emne]

The last days I have struggled to stop wasting time on the internet and other stupid distractions. It´s quite hard because they´re so addictive. I wasted several hours on the web today. When I am in a mindful state I can´t do that sort of stuff because then all pointless distractions really feel painful. 

[Emne]

Right now I´m trying to study, but I waste my time on the internet instead. Isn´t it ironic that most of us complain about having too little time while wasting most of it on stupid shit

[moon777light]

i remember back 8 years ago when we had limited internet access, the entire day i would spend either reading books, drawing, starting random projects, even cleaning my room and playing or walking outside with my dog. Today just in front of screen, i feel so desensizited that i dont even laugh at stuff im watching so i relate so much to what you speak. You have my support  we can beat this.

Theres an app on the laptop which you might find useful called "stayfocused" and it blocks all internet for a period of time (you can adjust what time). but im too scared to press the "start" button because what will i do without my beloved internet!?  

 

[Emne]

Thank you @moon777light  There is also an app called "Cold Turkey Blocker" which can be used to temporarily block certain websites while you can still use the internet to work. I wish you good luck too and I will be following your journal! If we did´t waste so much time on the internet and other stupid shit like TV, imagine what we could do with our lives! The worst thing is that it isn´t even especially enjoyable, just addictive(well except for memes perhaps)

[Emne]

Today has actually worked rather well. I downloaded an app to my computer which allowed me to temporary block certain websites (such as social media, youtube, meme-pages etc). This has stopped me from wasting so much time on the internet. Of course this didn´t work perfectly, and I wasted about an hour reading random stuff on Wikipedia instead. At least I might have learned something...

 

 

I haven´t exactly been able to be mindful for any larger portion of the day, but when I was life felt beautiful. It´s quite amazing how beautiful simple everyday things can be. 

Edited April 15, 2018 by Emne

[Emne]

I always feel a desire to constantly check stuff like my social media. The reason is not that I am interested in what other people are eating for lunch or other dumb shit like that. It´s even more ridiculous really. I feel that I need to check so I can be sure that I haven´t written anything stupid, like insulting people I know. It´s a bit like OCD, but less serous. I also do other similar things, such as checking that the door is locked several times. 

[Emne]

Today´s post will be unusually boring. Nothing really happened. I went to school, did a test, worked, went to the gym, and that was it. I did´t waste so much time on the internet since I have blocked all interesting websites, but I was quite lazy. 

[Emne]

Today I have been quite lazy. Honestly I haven´t gotten anything done really. But that´s not necessarily something bad, I really like to relax too. I have some schoolwork that needs to be done, but it´s not that much. In a couple of days I will be trying the shamanic breathing technique. 

[Emne]

My first shamanic breathing session

Hello again, today I tried shamanic breathing for the first time. I put on some tribal drum music and laid down on a blanket on the floor and started breathing. At first nothing really happened. Then after like 10 minutes my body started to feel a bit tingly. It started in my hands and then my face. The feeling then spread to my arms as well. I also felt a stinging feeling in the right side of my lower stomach, but that disappeared after a while. I stopped after 20 minutes. My body felt much less heavy and my mental chatter hand almost disappeared. I really look forward to trying this again next week 

 

[Emne]

Hello again, it has now been a day since I tried shamanic breathing. I have felt a bit tired and depressed, but I guess that is normal and a necessary part of growing. I look forward to doing it again next week. Perhaps I will do it on both Friday and Saturday. It felt really powerful. I think I have unwired some emotional blockages that makes me suffer. 

[Emne]

Today I have felt much better and had more energy than ususal. I think it might be because I tried shamanic breathing a couple of days ago. I have also started to read "Enlightenment: The Damnest Think" by Jed McKenna. So far it is quite interesting. I have a late assignment for school that I need to go and finish... 

 

[Emne]

The last days I have been thinking  a lot about death. I have more and more started to accept my own mortality and I am not so scared as I was earlier. I think it is important to contemplate death for two reasons: It can help with appreciating life and when you sooner or later find out that you are dying it won't be as shocking and terrifying.