Blushing

[Ali123]

I have this problem where i blush often.I'm 18 and i go to high school and whenever someone calls out my name, i blush.Also,when i talk in groups,i get nervous and blush.There are a lot more situations where i blush.I've been doing meditation for 19 days,affirmations,visualisations and i'm also doing nofap.Can these things help solve blushing?And also can shamanic breathing help here also.I would like Leo to answer me!

[moon777light]

i wouldnt be too impatient since 19 days is relatively a small amount of time  

Is the blushing stemming from social anxiety? Maybe you should do emotional work/healing. Psychotherapy helps to discover the root of your problem. Since holotropic breathing is in a way you psychotherapy & facing your trauma, yes it will definitely help 

[Ali123]

Thank you! I will definitely try holotropic breathing.

I think it is because i am a bit socially anxious(I care what other people think) and i get nervous in some situations,but mostly because i fear that i will blush.

[Nahm]

@Ali123 Try to realize you don’t know what other people think. Even if you did, it doesn’t matter. At all. 

[AllanGR]

I used to blush.  I recall myself in a chemist's shop which had a big mirror behind the counter and my face was between women servers looking at me.  My face was the prettiest scarlet you ever did see.  I still blush now from time to time and yeah, there's obviously a reason.

You're a conscientious person, I presume, with an empathy for people.  Not always a useful quality in the way you express it.  We're surrounded by laws and armies, so thanks to weapons, brute force and spies, our world in the west to a fault - at least where I am, is civilized.  What I'm getting at is that your type of empathy is deceiving you regarding the nature of people around you.  You're giving people credit for something they mostly aren't.   If we starved 99% of them for years and then you walked among them as you are, they'd rip the clothes off your back and even kill you for what you had.  Some may feel a little bad, but hey, survival trumps all, and sorry you died but they had kids to feed.

A hypothetical extreme, extreme sure but I'm saying the world is far from perfect so don't give it credit until it earns it from you.  Also distractions are useful, like what are doing with your life...  Having an aim is a useful distraction.  For example, if you're running for a bus with a couple of rabid dogs chasing you, blushing won't happen.  But if it does at that moment, who give a rats...

[Ali123]

I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone but it's a bit hard because i always tell myself that i don't want to ruin my day.For example,when i'm in school,i see people talking but i'm afraid to talk to them because i fear they will get me to blush in any way possible.I've had days in which i have blushed quite a bit and it is so depressing and i don't know what to do.I'm trying meditation,nofap,affirmations,visualisations and i also listen to leo's videos.My aim is to go to college and finish it and then hopefully get a job(or maybe opening a business).The blushing is getting in the way of my life because it doesn't give me the time to do what i want and talk to people.In some situations,i can be really confident and not blush at all,but i find out that when conversations get awkward(talking about things that don't make me comfortable,trolling me,or simply being in the centre of attention),i tend to blush very easily because i feel kind of scared but i don't know what to do.

[Monkey-man]

Quote

You may have blushed at times when you were embarrassed, humiliated, discouraged, or mortified. Although blushing is an innately patterned emotional response, it can be conceived most simply as a reaction to heightened self-consciousness.1 Blushing occurs in situations that you perceive as involving a social transgression; however, it can happen in an exciting situation as well, such as in the self-consciousness of being physically attracted to another person. Such "exposure experiences" cause you to blush because they activate feelings of shame2—you think of yourself as “caught” in the eyes of others, and you may feel as though you are inadequate, lacking, or vulnerable in terms of any number of important attributes.

To make matters worse, shame feelings create a heightened awareness of your own face, and blushing then leads to even greater face-consciousness and self-consciousness.3 When you blush, you will have a desire to hide your face from being seen. However, rather than decreasing what you are broadcasting via your facial expression, you increase it by blushing. Specifically, the effect of blushing is an increase in facial communication and that, consequently, increases shame.4 Although such self-consciousness may lead you to avoid eye contact, some researchers maintain that in these situations individuals actually look for emotional feedback from their audience.5 Thus, although you may shift your gaze and glance down, you may also seek cues about the emotional reactions of others by glancing at the expressions conveyed through their eyes.6

The face expresses all emotions. However, the face is experienced most prominently in self-conscious shame responses.7 Blushing occurs most commonly in the face, given it is the primary source of communication and emotion. “The face and the eyes are where the self lives,” notes affect theorist, Silvan Tomkins, “where it exposes itself and where it receives similar exposures from others.”8 So the positive side of your blush is that you are communicating something important about what you feel. Blushing is an honest response, whether it is because you feel “caught” being sexually excited about another person, or mortified about being observed in social wrongdoing or in an accident, such as spilling something all over yourself at an important event.

Physiologically, blushing occurs when an emotional trigger causes your glands to release the hormone adrenaline in your body. Adrenaline's effect on your nervous system causes the capillaries that carry blood to your skin to widen. Since blood is then brought closer to the surface of the skin, it causes you to blush. Blushing does not only occur on the face—you may blush in any part of the body to which attention is directed.9 What’s interesting about blushing is that receptors in the veins of human necks and cheeks dilate in response to social threat.10 What’s threatened in the case of such a shame response is not only your self-acceptance, but your social acceptance as well.

Blushing can be to your advantage because it is a distinct signal of sincere regret; it signals to others that you acknowledge your shame, mishap, or social wrongdoing, and in doing so, it promotes trust and positive judgments by observers.11 In other words, if you show embarrassment by blushing at your transgressions then you are more prone to be liked, forgiven, and trusted than those who do not. As a result, your blush may help you save face.12

 

[Ali123]

Thats all nice what you've said but it doesn't really help me solve the problem.I would really like if i could get Leo's opinion,if he has the time,although that doesn't mean that everyone else can't answer me,but i would like more specific answers.Thanks!

[Monkey-man]

2 hours ago, Ali123 said:

Thats all nice what you've said but it doesn't really help me solve the problem.I would really like if i could get Leo's opinion,if he has the time,although that doesn't mean that everyone else can't answer me,but i would like more specific answers.Thanks!

there's no problem. blushing is great thing to have, it means your ego is not yet big to make you a liar. you are still honest and this honesty expressed in your face through blushing. no need to fix anything, honestly do research on blushing, its not bad thing at all. its not something to be fixed. good luck

[Space]

On 08/04/2018 at 0:54 PM, Ali123 said:

I have this problem where i blush often.I'm 18 and i go to high school and whenever someone calls out my name, i blush.Also,when i talk in groups,i get nervous and blush.There are a lot more situations where i blush.I've been doing meditation for 19 days,affirmations,visualisations and i'm also doing nofap.Can these things help solve blushing?And also can shamanic breathing help here also.I would like Leo to answer me!

I used to have this. Sometimes just thinking about blushing would trigger a blush. It always happened in social settings, or when I was in crowds of people like on the train or city tube, which of course made it even more embarrassing. I believe it happens simply because you're overly self-conscious, lack a lot of self-confidence and are too concerned with what other people think about you. Don't take this as criticism or a definitive description of who you are. It may be a combination of all of them or just one. Or maybe something else entirely. But I think those are the main causes.

Here's my advice. Firstly, try not to over think it. Blushing isn't a massive deal, and most people don't really care. I understand it's different in school when you know everyone, but try not to make it into a big deal with yourself when it happens. When you do blush, just relax and remind yourself to just be ok with it. Make friends with it! Remind yourself that it's quite normal. Recognise that it's a very short body reaction that'll pass in a few minutes. And if people make fun of you for it, don't react in any way at all. 

Also, I would advise you to stop trying to 'get rid' of the blushes because it may just be making things worse. If you're constantly thinking about getting rid of them (particularly when they happen) or intentionally trying to not blush then it's likely to happen more often. Atleast that's what I found. To overcome this you must just accept that it's happening and be completely ok with it. Whenever you start feeling anxious about blushing or thinking about it in any way just be ok with those thoughts, let them do their thing, and then move on. Meditation can help I think. Just becoming more mindful of your thought patterns will help. Some deeper spiritual insights will also be beneficial because you will become less egoic and less self-centered, and therefore probably less concerned with what other people think of you. This has been the case for me. I still blush occasionally though. But also so do many other people. I'm not sure that things like NoFap, affirmations or visualisations would directly decrease the amount of blushing, but they can certainly make you more confident, improve your self-esteem, etc which will definitely help.

Don't be disheartened though. It's just a phase. Accept and be ok with whatever happens. Hope this helps.

[Ali123]

Thank you! I've also seen videos in which people say that you should "embrace" blushing and enjoy it,and then after some time,it goes away.I'm going to try and do this.Thanks for the advice!

[Nathan]

This used to happen to me also. An awareness of the fact that I was blushing would lead to increased nervousness and elevate the blushing to epic proportions! I found consciously trying to pay attention to the external enviroment rather than myself worked wonders but like anything it takes some practice. Try not to worry about it anyways, nobody really cares if you blush

[Ali123]

Thanks for the advice! I feel like i am a bit more in control and blush less.Could this be due to meditation or more to affirmations and visualisation?

[Guest Quanty]

In my school experience my voice used to stutter when in social context. 

I figured that out being a thyroid 5th chakra problem. After my first awakening, stuttering simply dissipated completely.

I used to be afraid not to stutter in public and made it worse more than a decade. 

[Ali123]

Does that work with blushing also?