Problem with getting guys to ask me out? help

[abrakamowse]

@moon777light  Come back to America.

[moon777light]

@abrakamowse i am  

@RichardY sadly i dont live in a dorm but in a apartment, the dorms are like a 20 minute bus-drive away, and the only good friend i have is super introvertive and shes not into that kinda stuff :'( i dont think people here do picnics , ive once suggested it 2 years ago and everyone ignored it. Everyone here is either study study or get dead drunk on nights until 5am, and my health wont allow that. I think maybe a movie-night at the cinema if i can get a group of people will be a good idea!

[dude]

10 hours ago, Charlotte said:

I was always looking at boys when I passed them to check if they were looking at me, if they weren't I automatically felt unattractive...  silly and dangerous game. Your literally giving other people the power over your own psychology @moon777light Your giving away so much! Take back control, this is no way to live and you will NEVER be happy, happiness/peace is already within you lovely.

Amen to this ^^^^ , and for some context here. I live in Holland and for 20 years I have never been approached by a stranger that has asked me out. So stick that one time in your pocket. I'm a guy so its different for us but still take a look at the bigger picture.

[Charlotte]

3 minutes ago, dude said:

So stick that one time in your pocket.

????

 

9 hours ago, moon777light said:

 

[Ether]

@moon777light just be a model and i will go after you lel

[Ether]

5 minutes ago, Ether said:

@moon777light just be a model and i will go after you lel

i just read haha

[moon777light]

48 minutes ago, dude said:

Amen to this ^^^^ , and for some context here. I live in Holland and for 20 years I have never been approached by a stranger that has asked me out. So stick that one time in your pocket. I'm a guy so its different for us but still take a look at the bigger picture.

hahah i'll take that as an accomplishment then 

 

40 minutes ago, Ether said:

@moon777light just be a model and i will go after you lel

im too deep into medicine to quit now 

[moon777light]

10 hours ago, Charlotte said:

I've got to the bottom of this issue and it wouldn't of been possible without the PD/Consciousness work. 

i forgot to ask charlotte, what does PD mean?

[Charlotte]

@moon777light personal development sweet ❤️

[Frylock]

16 hours ago, moon777light said:

@Frylock  iv had mini traumas from this believe me. back in 6th grade i got my crush valentines day candies, next thing i know when im walking to cafeteria he walks right behind me with his friends and says "can you believe she got me valentine day candies? ewwww!!!"

and then in high school i was flirting (very obvious, maybe a bit, too obvious) with my crush and then he started pointing at me and laughing with all his friends. bad bad times. i need to learn how to grow 'thicker skin' or how to process emotional trauma better if im going to be direct with a guy lol

Pretty much everyone has bad experiences with rejection. But I will say, those reactions by guys were over the top and childish. Hopefully men in their 20s aren't going to act like children, and if they do, they're just stupid idiots not even worth the time.

[Emne]

You can always try to meet a guy on the internet, it might be easier if you have low self esteem. Just be careful that he isn`t an overweight 45 year old living in his mother´s basement. And be sure that the reason for getting into a relationship isn´t getting approval or escaping loneliness, perhaps watch some of Leo´s relationship videos  

[abrakamowse]

10 hours ago, moon777light said:

@abrakamowse i am  

Oh, cool! I thought you were still in Europe. Lol

Quote

also im still a virgin and i feel like such a loser for being over 20, an attractive girl, and not experiencing this. 

Don't feel a loser for that! I am a guy and guys always are supposed to have sex ASAP Lol... and I didn't have sex like until 25/26... I don't remember well Lol... Nothing to feel bad about. 

And there's a lot of people in the same situation, more than you think. The difference is those who were a bit "late" for that don't talk too much and those who had it earlier like to brag about it.

[moon777light]

2 hours ago, Emne said:

You can always try to meet a guy on the internet, it might be easier if you have low self esteem. Just be careful that he isn`t an overweight 45 year old living in his mother´s basement. And be sure that the reason for getting into a relationship isn´t getting approval or escaping loneliness, perhaps watch some of Leo´s relationship videos  

Funny thing is i met someome on tumblr that fits exactly thr description you wrote here ? but i stopped talking to him realizing that. but i will have to work on the lonliness emotion since i think that is what everything is stemming from

40 minutes ago, abrakamowse said:

Oh, cool! I thought you were still in Europe. Lol

Don't feel a loser for that! I am a guy and guys always are supposed to have sex ASAP Lol... and I didn't have sex like until 25/26... I don't remember well Lol... Nothing to feel bad about. 

And there's a lot of people in the same situation, more than you think. The difference is those who were a bit "late" for that don't talk too much and those who had it earlier like to brag about it.

I meant i am coming back to usa. Im in europe rn, and still will be for a few years until i finish university, but ill be escaping back to america as soon as i get my diploma

Also you made me feel sooooooOOoOoOo much better reading that you havnt lost it until 25/26, i guess social pressure that we need to lose it in high school really gets engraved in my mind.

Thanks guys so much for amazing advice really this is helping me a lot ??

[Emne]

@moon777light    There is nothing wrong with you. I am a 19 year old virgin who has never been in a relationship

[Ether]

@Emne Wanna lose it? 

Ha, im just kidding

[abrakamowse]

7 hours ago, moon777light said:

I meant i am coming back to usa. Im in europe rn, and still will be for a few years until i finish university, but ill be escaping back to america as soon as i get my diploma

Cool! That's awesome.

Quote

 

Also you made me feel sooooooOOoOoOo much better reading that you havnt lost it until 25/26, i guess social pressure that we need to lose it in high school really gets engraved in my mind.

Thanks guys so much for amazing advice really this is helping me a lot ??

 

You are very welcome! Remember that what IS is always right! hehehe... Just relax and enjoy this dream!

Like the song says "Row, row, row your boat, gentle down the stream!! Merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream!"

Edited April 9, 2018 by abrakamowse

[Emne]

7 hours ago, Ether said:

@Emne Wanna lose it? 

Ha, im just kidding

I´m not that desperate.... yet...

[DoubleYou]

@moon777light Im a guy and I lost mine at 21. Looking back, I cant even imagine why I even cared about that in the slightest. Yet, it felt so important back then haha. Just remember, you are the one that's creating this social pressure. Not society, not anyone. You! Simply by believing these thoughts. You can just choose not to  That's your own freedom. And its always available. 

And theres always a deeper fear underneath. The feeling of not being worthy used to be the big one for me. Instead of putting all your energy into worrying about some made up standards, focus on these deeper core issues. Really feel into it without judgment. Allow yourself to be as you are. This is how you take back control of yourself. Instead of letting society decide how you feel all the time. 

[tsuki]

On 8.04.2018 at 0:01 AM, Nahm said:

For the anxious, meditation is just not their thing.

For the overweight, exercise is just not “them”.

For the depressed, healthy eating is what healthy people do.

The hyperactive say “I” just don’t sit still.

The disconnected say, oh, I don’t draw or paint or anything. I’m not very creative.

That is wise as fuck. Thank you for reminding me that.

[Nahm]

@tsuki lol.  Thank you.