Existential crisis. Are we better off dead?

[Applejuice]

So for the past couple of months I have been really considering the pointlessness of life. I realised no matter what things i achieve or experience i have i will always seek more. And I think this is what comes with being born and being an animal. So I lost interest in everything, because what else is there to do. I can do stuff but I won't be satisfied with it and its only for short term excitement. If I was dead I wouldn't have to worry about having a house or eating food or maintatining relationships. Those things are cool, they keep me alive but that's a bit shallow. There is no purpose that can fulfil anyone. There is nothing to do. I kept telling myself that its logical to commit suicide. Not like a depressed sort of suicide but more in the sense that if you look at death and life objectively, death is much better than life as you are at peace and there is no suffering. Then I looked into leo's videos about enlightenment and it was like, ooh so i do need to kill myself to find fulfillment, but not my body, just my sense of self. But then what about everything else? All the birds and insects and fish and other sentient beings. Nature is really cruel and life keeps on living and feeding off of other organisms and dying and I think all organisms are stuck in this trap of chasing survival all the time. It's all we do, trying to avoid death, when it is the only thing that will free us from suffering ( apart from enlightenment ). This led me to thinking maybe the earth is better off with all life extinct so there is no more suffering for anyone. Like if nuclear war or some other disaster just wiped out all life on earth and made it inhospitable for any life.  I mean I can become enlightened, but what about all the animals and other humans which will live their whole lives trapped in this ego dopamine chasing machine. Any thoughts on this? Does this make sense? Anyone else thought like this? 

[Haumea]

No need to kill the body - just the ego.

"No mind, no problem."

[Applejuice]

@Haumea What about everyone else?

[Applejuice]

@see_on_see What do you mean lol

[Applejuice]

@see_on_see Phew! Lol what video?

[LastThursday]

1 hour ago, Applejuice said:

I kept telling myself that its logical to commit suicide.

Just to pick on one thing you said, I hope I'm not being too harsh:

So - you invented a story for yourself that logic equates to suicide? You should ask yourself some deep questions about that statement.

Firstly. Why did you invent this story about suicide? What was the purpose for you exactly? Was it for attention, or self satisfaction, or to make yourself feel bad, or you think it will end suffering, or some other set of reasons? Meditate on that, question the hell out of it.

Secondly. What is your definition of logic? To me logic is where you start from a set of assumptions, then through a step by step process you reach a conclusion. What assumptions are you starting from? For example is it: life = meaningless = suffering = negative, death = meaning = peace = positive, therefore death is prefereable to life?

Thirdly. Have you ever been dead yourself? If not, then how do you know that death is peace or preferable to life? You don't.

And lastly. Suicide is not a thing or an object, it is a process. It has a beginning, a middle and sometimes an end. So what exactly does this process mean to you? Does it always end in death? Or is it possible it could end in life full of misery instead?

You should really be asking yourself:

'I will keep asking myself if I can really use logic to justify starting a process called committing suicide which may go very wrong and end in a miserable life instead?'

Edited April 6, 2018 by LastThursday
Grammar

[Applejuice]

@LastThursday Yeah you raised some good points there. I'm not going to kill myself, it's not that I am depressed or have a miserable life, I just see it as better than life because the ego is gone and I'm not chasing shit forever and ever like I am now. But When there is no body there is no more ego as it is there to keep the body alive. When the body leaves the ego will dissolve and not be relevant. I think it will end suffering yeah. I mean that's what enlightenment is all about right? killing yourself but not your body so you're no longer constantly in survival selfish mode and so you're no longer suffering. I understand now that enlightenment is really what I need to do and not suicide. But I'm saying if there are no organisms to play this survival game there will be no ego and no suffering anywhere. When we are not alive, there is noone to survive and there is no ego we are the ultimate nature of reality always. I see life as sort of a prison we come into and end the suffering when we're dead. But we are wired to reproduce so that there are organisms that will be stuck in this cycle forever until extinct. When there is no life there is no suffering. All that remains is enlightenment. 

Edited April 7, 2018 by Applejuice

[Nahm]

 “Considering” and doing meditation & self inquiry - it’s the difference between doing something , creating a life, living, and dwelling / suffering. You’re underestimating and undervaluing your freedom and influence on your reality. It’s a riddle, made by you, that takes years to unravel. It is a miracle in a puzzle in a puzzle in a miracle. You have to increase your very consciousness just to have a 1 in a million shot at a 2 second glimpse. Or you can just skip it and pass on the greatest mystery adventure in th the history of reality it’s self. 

What was your experience of being born like? What was it like being an animal?  What was your experience of death like?  Those are beliefs, not your experience. You haven’t scratched the surface yet. You haven’t started yet. 

Everything you can see and hear right now, that’s all that’s happening. On the other side of your walls, there is superposition / source / whatever word. Suffering is a symptom of a misunderstanding in perception. Your mind is trying to keep track of and account for the suffering of the world, potential nuclear war, what about others, projections of troublesome futures, etc - and it is acutely designed to process “reality” accurately - but reality is only what is within your awareness. That’s it.  You only have to focus on and be aware of 1% of what you currently are attempting to be aware of. 

The videos are great, but their unified message is direct experience & discernment, not thinking about the videos - contemplating all that is you and your immediate environment right now. Without practices, without application of what you’re learning, nothing changes. I don’t mean anything personally, just aiming to appeal to the true you, the one who is asleep. You can do anything you think you can do. Do the practices. Get to a place where you know what you want, and you know you can do it. Death has nothin on that level of living. 

[who chit]

Can't kill something that does not really exist,i.e,ego. From the level of your current perception,ego seems be an existent entity. It is only a thought/concept that you believe to be you.It is the 'personal I" of the body-mind that you refer to as "me/my identity". The belief that "I am the body-mind" is false perception. You are aware of thoughts/thinking,and you are aware of a body with senses,emotions etc., So how can you be either if you are separately aware of them.

Something subjectively experienced and believed to be "me", is true/real to the experiencer, and the reason why "death" of  the false "I" feels like you are really going to die. It's not bullshit to the believer. If one experiences, even briefly,that what they believed to be true is actually just an imaginary play going on in the mind, it throws a wrench in the whole "I'm going to die" drama.

Edited April 7, 2018 by who chit

[who chit]

And what Nahm said. I think we posted at the same time,lol .

Synchronicity?  

Edited April 7, 2018 by who chit

[SgtPepper]

Life is not a mistake.

Praise life! Get on your knees and praise it! 

Love yourself.

Love is all you need.

 

[Markus]

@Applejuice Nobody knows why there's life (except God, I guess). What makes sense to me is a process of life emerging from God, evolving lifetime after lifetime, until it merges back into God, the latter being what enlightenment is.

[Nahm]

@Mikael89 Some are. ???

[Nexeternity]

Try not to get too wrapped up in all the thoughts and thought stories... I mean as much as you can.

Go play with a puppy, throw a ball back and forth with a child, enjoy music, ride a bike, whatever you can to connect with the beauty of being without thinking.

Killing yourself is twisting things up.

Theres a lot of good you can do for yourself and others... not that you need to help anyone but it can be nice.

Hope you feel better soon! 

[RichardY]

Damn birds and insects plotting against me.

[Applejuice]

@Mikael89  Tbh there is no proof that any other humans apart from you are self aware. If they are animals they probably evolved an ego so that they can survive more effectively. Even fish. I don't know about plants

[MarkusSweden]

@Applejuice It's important to understand that it's ok to commit suicide though. It can be a stressful thing to carry if you have thoughts that it is wrong! 

Remember, you are free! You can't be happy until you understand that. 

Paradoxically, when you understand that you are free and perfectly allowed to commit suicide, then that option often falls away. 

The same with ego. When people think they are a solid self, then comes responsibility, and often what follows is that you don't take responsibility, since it's viewed as a burdon or a fear of screwing up. On a contrary, when you understand that there are no responsibility or a self, then "you" often start acting responsible. 

Edited April 8, 2018 by MarkusSweden

[Prabhaker]

@Applejuice

You may have lived a life without love. Why not try love? You may have lived a life obsessed with money. Why not live a life unobsessed with money? You may have lived a life which hankers to possess. Now live a life which is not worried about possessing anything. You may have lived a life of respectability - you may have always been considering what people think about you, what their opinion is. There is a life to live without bothering what others are thinking about you; there is a life to live individually and rebelliously.

 Don't commit suicide! Let your past commit suicide. Start living afresh, moment to moment. Don't live in desires, but live in a kind of desirelessness. You have lived a life of strain, effort, struggle. Now start living a life of relaxation, calm and quiet. And you will be surprised , you have been missing life, not because life is worthless. You have been missing life because you have been taught to live a worthless kind of life.

[MarkusSweden]

18 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

@Applejuice

 there is a life to live individually and rebelliously.

 

Prab, you think this goes for any age? Could you still be 40, 50, 60, 70 or 80 and still live rebelliously you think? 

Sometimes I think it's for the youngster to adopt this kind of lifestyle. 

Otherwise you end up as a bohemian? 

[Prabhaker]

@MarkusSweden

At any age 40, 50, 60, 70 or 80 ; you live as you are conditioned by the society.