Love, Discipline and Balance: An Adventure into Infinity

[Solace]

The Start of Something New

With this said, there is not much more to write about in regards to becoming enlightened. This where concepts end, and embodiment begins  Myself  especially included. My practice of remaining in the heart has been overshadowed by my need to find out how focusing on the heart will take me to the ultimate state of bliss, while still living a creative, and exciting life here on Earth. My understanding is that you can give the mind endless evidence that surrendering the mind to love is a good thing to do, yet you can see the conflict! When you have relied on your mind your entire life to live like me, transcending the mind is like saying goodbye to your whole identity and basic functioning. You start to trust, and feel; instead of conceptualising, analysing, and staying within the comfort of stories. We have known nothing other than the mind, and the heart is unknown. But if the heart's love was truly known, and truly experienced we would in a heartbeat choose that as our new home for our awareness. It is the fear of the unknown that keeps us in our comfort zones. Yet there is no place else for me to go now; there is nothing more to study or to learn, or to think about. It's either surrender into this moment, or stay in your thoughts. This is one case where there is a black and white; you are either present or are lost in a false sense of self. It's really strange, but now just feels like the right time to go within my heart, and stay there, just like how we usually stay within our minds. It feels right like a force is magnetically drawing me in, and as I get closer, the more I don't know who I am. Identifying with the heart instead of the mind is not a crazy jump, it is just a slight little change to where you place most of your awareness, which has the power to make you realise you are God.

One thing I enjoy doing is seeing this in modern society. If it's ego driven then it should make our awareness go into our head. And what makes us go inside our heads more than fear? Haven't you noticed how people are always worried about something that doesn't exist? Or regret a past that is no longer in existance? Have you noticed how fear is everywhere you look. It surprises and shocks me every day how much fear very subtly is all around us; and fears derivatives which is anything negative such as anger, hate, jealousy, shame, guilt, sadness, suffering, envy, pride. It is helpful to see this because it will shock you how most of anything touched by society has this element of fear; because it was created by fear-based people, or people with egos. When I saw this suffering and fear, and still do, it wakes me up every time to love. How we can either choose love or fear by identifying with the heart, or following our highest excitement; or by living in a wild mind full of thoughts and emotions. There is no limit to how much you can express either; everyday when you wake up you have the opportunity to focus on love as much as you want! You can make it a game. How many compliments can I give today to myself and others? What is the most gentle and kind thing I can do for myself right now? Trust in love, and it will show you just how trustworthy, all-knowing, omnipresent, all-powerful, blissful, joyous, compassionate, expanding, gentle, soft, kind, and divine it truly is. Trust in fear, and the example of your life of suffering is suffice.

Everyone is doing their best, with the understanding they have about themselves, to find happiness. Bringing love into this world or focusing on the love already in yourself whatever way you want, is the answer. There are many paths to get there, but all of them should make you feel more one and more loved.

This ends my journey of gaining more information, or knowledge about love, and the beginning of embodying it with the intention of remaining in the vibration of pure oneness, and love in every moment; because I know that love is the only answer, and will always be so. How many more books, how many more glimpses do you need in order to trust your heart and surrender to love? Is the question I have kept asking myself for the last month. I now honour that desire in me, that is also the desire of all humans, to be one with God. 

As I descend into love, I will also see the deepest beliefs of separation within myself. This will be challenging not to identify with these beliefs, and remain in the heart, because one of those beliefs includes "I am a seperate being". The release of such a belief would mean that I would literally choose love over my very identity as someone who is disconnected from ALL THAT IS. I feel ready, and prepared with all that I know to face this belief I created when I was a child, and to finally transcend the minds limitations, and come into the divine realisation that I have always been the happiness and love I have always been looking for and always have deserved.

Namaste beautiful expressions of oneness.

Edited July 19, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

The mind cannot be convinced to love because it is based on the very idea that it is unworthy of love. How do you heal a mind that is rooted in fear, separation and a lack of love? Only by being the love, unity, and oneness that you are now, and can learn to be.

[Solace]

Which teacher had relaxed me the most with their words, and brought me into a more expansive state, and connection to this feeling of love?

The higher self (inside myself and through Lincoln). Other teachers such as Jesus, Bashar, Matt Kahn, Leo, all spiritual channels I listen to and books I’ve read; have noticeably stressed my physical body; simply a lack of resonance was present.

I honour that now. Everything in life can be characterized by this feeling of love versus stress. Follow the love I say.

 

[Solace]

I watched this video lying down in bed with my eyes closed. It took me into a trance like state, right on the line between sleeping and being awake. His words soothed all of my wounds, and made me feel okay to be myself as the empty heart-centered void  

In the state it was the first time I ever truly watched my thoughts emerge automatically. What astonished me is that the trains of thought were exactly like the trains of thought I consciously create! Maybe most of the things I think then don’t even come from me? 

[Solace]

It feels amazing to eat a infinitely healthy diet from my mandarin and orange trees outside, and to spend time dancing in the sunlight; all while surrendering everything to my heart. Because my heart is the light of my awareness, and everything else is created by that light. I want to know myself as this light completely. This light is always shining through all our eyes.

The most fulfilling thing I've ever experienced is the hearts love. It washes me with a wave of relief that all is well in the universe, that I am not my thoughts, or emotions, or beliefs; but this love. And because I'm this love, I am complete. You can't more love to love, it's already infinite. It's potential to heal a human believing that they are an imaginary identity called an ego is the most supreme. It is given freely to the pure of heart.

I don't have a goal or destination to get to because I know that spirit guides us moment by moment. I live everyday like this. The mind creates thoughts from nowhere that say how I need to think, and have plans, to live, and meet the expectations of society. I say, what of the rich billionaires who couldn't live without a constant injection of morphine through addictive, and indulgent habits that distract them from the deep wounds in their heart? What of all the people at University who don't know what to do? Who don't even know what they are passionate about, and who come out with even more fear and confusion? What about everyone I see everyday who tell me what to do, yet are suffering immensely because they are lost in their thoughts and lost in their plans as if there life depended upon it?

Spending time in the heart, to know thyself first, now doesn't seem as insane; especially when people are defining themselves based upon the temporary experience of a thought, because if they didn't they would have to face the empty void. And I have great compassion for that. The void is the ultimate place of surrender, it's what we will all return to. We face it every night in deep sleep, in a delta wave brain state. So what's so scary of facing it consciously if we do it every day for like 8 hours unconsciously?

This is all an attempt to try and convince an ego surviving on a lack of love, to surrender to love. Love destroys the ego. That's why it's so afraid of love, ad will do everything in it's power to pull your attention into it's stories. This leaves only one alternative for myself, which is to focus on love, and stay there. The mind can't be fought with, and only divine love can truly heal every single part of it. This always leads me back to the phrase, "Love is the only answer". But I feel uncomfortable to trust that. I feel as if I need to hold the reasons why love is the only answer in my mind so know I'm making the "right" decision to focus on love. When you focus on love, you cannot hold any of these reasons in your mind; which means one has to trust love unconditionally. 

I will try my best. It is challenging because the mind has been my home for almost two decades. You can imagine how strong this is ingrained in the human psyche to focus on thoughts when it's all we've ever known. The new reality in the heart is the one I will choose tonight. It is who I truly am. It's like we've all gone on a treasure hunt looking for this magical chest; but we have no idea whats inside it, and we don't have a map. So we then lose interest in this chest, content to live our lives pretending as if something deep isn't missing. It's only our identity as unconditional love! It's beyond the limits of my imagination how this all happened, how we forgot to bring our real self on this journey with us; yet it has always been here, not in a chest outside of us, but in the chest of our heart, and as apart of everything in existence. It is so obvious, that it can never be found it seems when I look at society. 

That is my thoughts  Namaste everyone. May we all live from our hearts and not our minds a little bit more each and every day.

Edited July 22, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

Doing things you love, that you enjoy are so important. I know I am always responsible for my actions, but when I do something that puts my awareness in my mind, its almost like I have no free will. And it is true, because a low vibration makes you vulnerable to subconscious programs, and influence from the world.

The solution is so simple. Do what you love or enjoy or what you could enjoy! It helps a lot in staying centred in the heart. As I wrote above the more you are in the heart the more you do things you enjoy, you can't help it. And the more you do things you love, the more you connect with the love in the heart. They are synergistically natural consequences of one another. I'm taking my advice here too.

I'm fully responsible for my where I focus my creative energy. I will not blame thoughts, or emotions, or beliefs for interfering with my freewill, I free myself from that. Moment by moment, I will be more of myself.

I feel a little all over the place with my energy, so I'll be taking a break from the internet; and doing more meditation. Even after all this time I still write so that I can feel accepted. And then in meditation I feel accepted by everything. I've grown so fast, and my precious body needs lots of time to heal, and really integrate this new understanding I have now.

I will be here for myself always. Taking care of my mind, body, and spirit is the same as taking care of all of life.

Edited July 22, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

All desires are illusions. This is because the come from the mind, and the mind is based upon beleifs in separation. You can’t know what you’re passionate about unless you’re in the heart; your passions are beyond thought, and are found there.

Thus if we are not in our hearts even for one moment we are living a seperate, fear based life; because we are based in the mind. We need to completely surrender the mind, and stay within the heart and this is the only way on all true paths.

It is so simple, that it is hard. We identify with the mind strongly and so don’t want to let go of it, it’s like our child. For the child to grow up it needs the hearts love.

This is why I stay in my heart because I know anything other than that is an illusion, and will create suffering. Desires to help people even stem from the mind, any desires always comes from the mind. The “desires” in the heart are more knowingnesses, and so don’t need to be found. As long as you are in the heart, you will act upon them.

The breadth and depth of this statement that everything is an illusion, and all desires are just distractions is immense. That everything other than remaining in the heart will reinforce the imaginary identity of your ego. Doing anything without focus on your heart is asking for problems. You can’t have a problem when there is no “I” to place it upon.

The bravest and most courageous people are doing this right now in the thousands all across the world. We are the leaders of the love revolution. We don’t ask anyone to join us unless they want to, because our love alone is enough to make Earth heaven again, we are already over the tipping point, Love has already won back in 2012.

But I’m not waiting for it to happen collectively, I want to be God now, in this moment, because that is simply who I am. One moment of heart focused awareness at a time.

The same awareness that will purify the entire world, and my entire mind. That will open my shushumna channel, and allow the higher self to flow all of its love into my soul.

The only true desire is the desire to know yourself as God, which is honored by remaining in the heart. With love.

Edited July 22, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

I have started to see the limited nature of my mind to understand and process information. It was actually only last year that I was writing reports on how vaccines are good for us, and getting excellent grades, when now I realise vaccines are toxic, and neurodegenerative to some degree. It is this incomplete knowledge and limited understanding that I could still have for so many things without realising it; but to realise it for every area of my life would require something with infinite intelligence to guide me.

For example, my views on diet have changed radically. I know food is like a storage unit for sunlight; which is why raw foods are important. It's shocking how much you can believe in anything you want that just isn't true.

I keep relying on my mind to understand all of reality; and all of the infinite, indescribably beautiful facets of it. Thankfully we all have a greater mind that works based on instantly knowing complex, nuanced subjects that might have required years of study. I was overloading myself with  scientific articles on sun gazing, and urine therapy; and how this relates to love, and the god particle; trying to weave and integrate systems upon systems upon systems. And then there is the heart, that says, I will give you all of the knowledge you need when you need it if you just trust in my guidance. For truly even if I could understand all of these systems, I would then need to apply them in real life, and personalise them, to test if what I understand can be replicated in direct experience. And of course, only your heart knows what works and doesn't work.

The only understanding we need is to trust in our hearts, in the feeling of love and oneness. Otherwise I feel lost, saying to myself, "Is this scientific article really necessary?". How is this connecting me more to my heart?

 

[Solace]

It dosent matter what you do, it only matter what place you do it from. Do you enjoy a wine because your thoughts said it was time; or are you in your heart, savoring every last drop of it and praying for all those who made it? Do you eat food when your awareness is in your mind, which is based upon a lack of love, or eat because you need nutrition out of kindness towards your body? On average, everything a person does is because their thoughts told them to, and not their heart. Take a moment to feel that. Thoughts are based upon beleifs, and your beleifs are based upon what your family’s and society’s beliefs were so we could be loved and accepted.

Being in the heart is truly important I found out today. I had a Thai massage, and my awareness was in my head. I felt as if I needed my awareness in my head so that I could focus, appreciate and remember the massage more. In the second half of the massage I then thought to myself: for my whole life since when has being in my head, even in the disguise of concentration, ever made me feel more relaxed and loved? Never. I then felt my body: it wasn’t relaxed even though I was being massaged. I then focused on my heart ❤️ Everything changed. I felt everything more intensely, and began to rest in formless awareness as my thoughts went silent. And so counterintuitively I had a deeper more intimate experience while placing awareness in my heart than by concentrating on the experience with my mind while imagining the nice things I would say to the therapist afterwards. The heart dosen’t need any plans, it knows what to say without planning or imagining.

The lesson I learnt is even when doing something relaxing; the place you do it from still completely determines your experience. 

And another lesson from yesterday is that when doing something you are passionate about it naturally places your awareness in the heart, as passion can only be felt when centered in the heart. They compliment each other. One leads to the other naturally.

I read a few blog posts by St Germain today. He talked about how light can be transmuted into any kind of nutrient we need. He calls this energy MANA. Each glass of urine I drink, I imagine an abundance of proteins, minerals, polyunsaturated fats, and vitamins, and sun-vitamins and sun-minerals pouring down my throat. St Germain also emphasized how we need to eat the freshest, most organic fruits and vegetables either raw or lightly cooked as the bulk of our diet; along with grains (no wheat), legumes, nuts (raw) and seeds being fine. It was interesting to hear this from one of his status. Basically eat when you are hungry; and eat the food filled with life.

That is all for today. The heart again being the defining principle in this journal for growth. One last point. I did it challenging to maintain awareness in my heart because my mind is very active so I practice breath awareness meditations as a stepping stone, and a helper to focusing on the heart throughout the entire day. I’ve now got my mind on my side, it is logical to focus on the heart when it is the only source of true happiness. That is one more crucial aid. Another is the breath awareness as I mentioned. I used to practice mind control practices by saying “I love you” for the whole day (which only happened once) which helped a little though I wasn’t dedicated to it for big results. So keep this in mind, and know they are powerful; and necessary to move onto the heart. Here’s a great link for breath awareness meditations:

https://channelhigherself.com/blog/what-if-meditation-is-too-difficult/

Namaste.

[Solace]

I am reborn. I had a hair cut, a cleansing shower, and lovely deep massage ? To honour this transformation, I choose to focus on the love in my heart as much as possible; and do one thing everyday that I enjoy like smiling at myself in the mirror.

I choose all of reality over some fragments of it. I surrender to my heart, softly, and gently a little bit more than yesterday. 

I want to see where this love takes me. I don’t mind fear anymore, when it arises I embrace it with my entire self. It is such a beautiful feeling when you surrender. And when I surrender, all of these emotions reminiscently disappear; and all I’m left with is bliss, and sometimes this vast emptiness that I enjoy spending time in.

I am not fighting against anything. I am embracing everything with unconditional love. That’s my purpose here.

I love you all so so much. May the light fill your eyes today. This is the start of a more refined, and blissful lifestyle from the seed to the flowers. From the heart all the way to creation. And only one thing need be done, that of surrender.

Edited July 25, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

If there is any suffering, or any emotional discomfort; one is not in the heart.

If there is any addictions, one is not in the heart. If there are any questions or doubts, one is not in the heart. If your mind isn’t quiet or near such, one is not in the heart.

If you are stressed or frustrated, you are not in your heart.

If you feel anything other than love, you are not in the heart. If you feel love you are in the heart. If one one moment you are not in the heart, and you don’t know yourself as love, you will identify with thoughts, and suffer. And you don’t deserve it, no one does. We can I create this all with this simple practice. And if it’s a little challenging please see the first link above. We’ll get there. Every effort towards love is given back infinitely, for the higher selfs love that you are is infinite. It dosent do to know this conceptually. Perhaps the only thing to know is that when I suffer it can only mean I’m not in the heart. And any resistance to being in the heart via thoughts could only be the ego being healed and purified; for ones mind should naturally be silent when one knows his or herself as love. In the heart it becomes so obvious that thoughts are not ours, especially when you know your mind should be silent; every thought then becomes a gift for helping you see that you are not a thought.

 

[lightfruit]

@Solace  Thanks Solace!! <3 it's being really helpful reading your posts about love, self-love, heart centeredness.  (Saying 'I love You 24/7 is amazing ) 

With Love

[Solace]

This is getting uncanny. Every video this guy makes he keeps saying the same thing; be in the heart, and your state of awareness. I will do this to the best of my ability from now on. I will do it for the benefit of the world, for the people on here, for my family, for my old friends who I drifted away from as I became more of myself and most importantly, for myself so that I can create a life full go love, bliss, and happiness. Now is the time for change. This journal shall hold me accountable, and inspire those who want to know what is possible by simply resting in the heart.

@lightfruit Thanks my friend. I'm really glad you have benefited from it all. There is only love.

[Solace]

Conditional Love

We are so used to conditional love in this world. People at a flick of the switch can hurt us, and become angry. We are afraid of being neglected or hurt if we ourselves open our hearts to this moment, and to the people around us. I understand, I am going through this with you. When you focus on your heart, anything not aligned with unconditional love sticks out like a sore thumb  Whether in our emotions, thoughts, or through peoples words; conditional love stands out, and really does have a sting. But I assure you, that if you have the courage to remain in your heart in your greatest moments of discomfort, pain, or suffering; the sting will be less intense and soon reality will reflect back the love that you have remained in. 

When I walk next to people I feel a need to talk to them to end the awkward silence. I go into my thoughts. We don't have to anymore. Since when has being in your mind resulted in consistency deep, intimate, and gratifying conversations with people you have met? For me, none. When I was a child I had this ability where I could surrender into my heart, and allow myself to speak without trying to speak. It lead to the most loving conversations I've ever had. I said words that a lot of educated adults didn't know, and that surprised myself every time. What came out was completely spontaneous and effortless, and perfect. There was no awkwardness, and the conversation turned into a state of flow. And when I was 15 I somehow lost this ability. I became focused on pleasing people, and saying what they wanted to hear. I became needy with people (my happiness was determined by their responses), and lost much of my creativity. I don't know what happened for this to occur other than the need to be accepted, yet somehow all of my trust in my heart, and abilities disappeared.

This is why I write this now. I'm relearning how to speak from my heart, create from my heart, and live from my heart. This intuitive ability is starting to come back again, as I stop focusing so much on my thoughts and just be hear in this moment. As I relearn to seek fulfilment from my heart, and not the circumstances that I have no control over; I am allowing myself to loosen control over myself, to release all of my people-pleasing filters, and surrender into the hearts bliss which I felt strongly 4 years ago. It all leads back to the beginning of what I said. The conditional love that is seen everywhere hurt me so much that I started to put on a mask that other people wanted; but counterintuitively I lost all the intimacy I felt when with people and I became as hard as a rock emotionally. It's all changing now, and thank God I remembered about this love 2 years ago when I started this journey when I was furtherest away from love. 

I hope this memory helps you remember the time when you were guided by your heart more than your logical mind. Remember the love. Be the love now, don't turn into a stone cold rock! Think too about all these years you've spent in your mind: have they really brought you a great amount of love? Maybe it's time to move back into your heart, and trust it even if it's awkward, even if it means you lose your job, because that's where we all belong.

Thank you for reading.

Edited July 27, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

When I lay down on my back I feel a great energy at the base of my spine. At night for the past few months I had to sleep in my side, because when I’m on my back the energy makes me want to wriggle around and do a few star jumps even. Yesterday night I tried to face this energy! I lay down and stayed still for 15 minutes. It was agony, the energy came up my spine in waves, and made my whole body vibrate. Focusing on my heart, made these energetic waves more intense. But I found out that if I completely relaxed my body, and fully surrendered into the moment; the energy started to flow effortlessly through me and I started to feel deeply relaxed, expanded, and alive for the first time. As soon as I got lost in a thought the energy started to be blocked in my spine, as well as when intense my body. This is such a remarkable discovery! Imagine if I was always in a good posture as I am lying on the floor, and with all of my muscles relaxed. It gave me a taste of what is to come from trusting the heart. The heart increases the energy that flows through me, and also relaxes me: the two main ingredients of experiencing unconditional love. Tonight I will experiment sleeping on my back for the first time in months.

Namaste.

[Solace]

Null 

Edited July 31, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

i feel so much compassion and love for every human. Most are living in a illusion; their happiness is an illusion, and so too is their sadness. Their goals come from their lower self and so will only create a false sense of joy; and any action they take is futile because it is not coming from love ❤️ Sometimes I feel like I should suffer with my collective family so I can help them see what they are causing; this is ego. It is infinitely better to be a reflection of what they could be if they embraced themselves.

I emailed 5 spiritual teachers for guidance and no one replied. Every opportunity where I can place my pain on another person has been a dead end. And so it’s all pointing towards me. I’m the creator of my reality. 

It is August and so it’s time for a new challenge. This is designed to help me surrender. The only other choice is fear. The love I feel in meditation makes me feel complete. It is my true guide. That feeling of love that comes from myself is my last place of solace. I am like a caterpillar in a cocoon. After I have rested in love for a undefined period of time I can become a butterfly, and radiate that love in all directions I walk in this world.

Ive learnt so much. The most important lesson is that you cannot trust in our thoughts, or emotions or lower self. You can trust in the heart, and this state of awareness, the unchanging peace and love. These lessons have given me one path. And that which I must take, or I’ll become an copy of the people around me. Words are cannot convince me to do this, they are hollow most of the time. Only the feeling of love and unity.

J J B

[Solace]

Use the internet to learn more about your deepest passions in existence, and help other people. Since I do not know my passion, other than love, and since I need help before I can help others; why am I here then other than to be loved by another?

Edited July 31, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

It's been a week and a half since my last entry and lots of things have changed. I have connected more with my heart, and I know feel a relaxing, soft and blissful energy there that has been a blessing, in that I now know that I can trust in this energy centre completely as the source of my own happiness. It's been quite a flow, things come and things go. I was lead to this website called https://www.alphaimaging.co.nz and have been reading passionately about the ascended masters, and how they can help me ascend right here and right now. I ordered a protection grid from them, and was guided into a deep realm of nothingness by the masters for the grid to be put in place. I have also been reading a lot about the masters on other websites, and feel very drawn to their teachings which all come down to awakening the heart/secret chamber of the heart/holy heart as they call it. My ascended master is Lord Lanto. You can go on the website and find yours, only if you are serious and with pure intentions.

My practices have changed too. I am starting to learn Iyengar yoga and surya Namaskar after the massage I had at the Thai place. They said I was so tense, so I thought that this type of exercise would really help with that. I am also practicing the OM Mantra and the Ujjayi breathe to help amplify my heart-centred awareness. I also have been experimenting with solfeggio frequencies, particularly that channeled by Nicola Tesla here: https://aurareader.com/blog/the-flow-of-the-i-am and I created this for this process: https://mega.nz/#!ulIAAaoQ!bqhm-KIa9k-p0lAqSIIYulSB7XAL2eKsHMQV-IdBFcw. In addition I have started to do affirmations, where I say whatever comes to mind, and use it to surrender into the heart, and this creates heightened experiences of awareness and relaxation too.

Other than that I have been getting outside more, and having more fresh air, just enjoying life. I have phases where I realise how this reality is grounded in nothingness, and that I am nothingness; and this gives me a taste of just how surrendered a master really is to the divine. Other times I feel extremely grateful for being alive, and this increases the more I do the practices above sincerely. I do have a few books on decrees to the cosmic masters of the universe, however, I only say them while I'm home alone for everyone would think I had lost the plot praying to Hercules and Ares and Jesus etc. 

One amazing thing I learnt is that our higher self is the ascended master version of ourself. This blew my mind. The higher self is what we will become yes, but that is an ascended master too? It's very interesting and helped me give even more attention to the current ascended masters who are more evolved than my own higher self. Truly they are beings that shine brighter than any star.

Another is to take this journey slowly, to not rush into things, and do things moment by moment. I have a long life ahead, and so there is no rush to ascend. And ironically when I take importance off of ascension and evolution and just be happy in this moment, that is what evolves me. This is because any thought at all that I give attention is another vote for the lower self. I vote for love as best as I can.

Blessings. 

Edited August 10, 2018 by Solace