Love, Discipline and Balance: An Adventure into Infinity

[Solace]

I’ve just woken up, it’s 6am. Our alarm went off in the night which set me up for some strange lucid dreams when I went back to sleep. In the lucid dream I was walking around a town consciously, talking to dream characters. I was curious to see how people would react to me going up to them and hugging them for some reason. I tried to stay in a state of neutrality as to not wake up, but instead I felt myself losing conscious control and going deeper into the dream world. I found it scary, because I didn’t know if I would come back to the real world again. It happened and everything went cloudy but then I realized that even in this subconscious cloud I still had a conscious perspective. It was the equivalent of giving someone else the drivers seat, but you can still observe what is happening. So even in the deepest sleep there may be a way to be conscious like this.

The scary part then is letting go of all control which is enivitable in the dream state, but once complete, there is no one left to control anything because the ‘you’ you were is temporarily gone. I was saying to my Mum how lucid dreams are very common now, it occurs multiple times per night. This is because in my dreams I allow thoughts to enter my head, while in every day life my head is now an empty meadow. The contrast to me is so obvious that it makes it easy to notice in dreams. It’s strange how images and things are still happening without me. Dreams are said to be the realm of thought whereby you can physically construct a reality with them that you desire. I also heard that feelings are more effect than thoughts due to their higher vibration and so can instantly manifest entire worlds whereas thoughts you need to construct it from ground up (at least that is what channelers have said).

Im in my astral body, just chilling out. There is probably a greater meaning to the dreams. However they are all of my old friends from high school. I intend to talk to them in dream state and find out why I keep dreaming of them, and not looking at a nice sunset, or flying like a bird in the sky (just no elevators!!).

May I choose love today for the health of all. May all beings be blessed with love, and know they deserve more, not less.

[Solace]

What does the internet give me?

Is there really a benefit to be on the internet anymore? At the start of my journey, and up until a few weeks ago It was essential in getting me to dedicate to my practices. Pluto (a forum member) made me believe in myself, and to truly do the inner work I had for 3 months put off. There are teachers too who have inspired me on the deepest levels, and without them, I would be at University, become an Engineering Scientist so I could 'fit in' to society and not 'waste my potential' (as I am very intellectual, and could ace it if I went). And now, because of the miracle of the internet, where I watched enlightened masters, all kinds of self-help material, and more in my bedroom I was taught how to find truth in a world of suffering. The internet is the one place where the cabal/powers that be do not have full control over, so that Truth can actually be given to the masses, rather than hidden by a sea of brainwashing that ultimately is designed to contradict the truth so that people will react negatively against it when they hear of it. For example, whence telling my Grandfather about how the artificial light being emitted from the TV at 60hz was programming his subconscious mind to a lower frequency he dismissed it, I'm now known to him as an extremist and someone who is "not normal". That was the universe telling me, Solace, help yourself first in order to help others; give knowledge freely to those who ask but always work on yourself to be an example rather than a prophet. Anyway, back to the internet. I have learnt so many astonishing things that have changed the way I live my entire life. But the thing is, the internet is but a medium for the Truth, The Truth makes it amazing, however, without such a quality it would merely be another distraction from the Truth. And you can find Truth inside that is much more profound. This is because you can conceptually understand Truth by reading it, but there are many more levels of comprehension, and after the first year or two of dabbling in practices and gathering all of this information on the internet to realign your belief system with reality, it becomes apparent that you no longer need the internet, for you have all of the information you need to experience Truth on an existential level, on a being level. Let's explore this some more. I can read on the internet that lucid dreaming is real versus actually lucid dreaming at night. One is conceptual, one is existential. Both are essential, unless you accidently lucid dream and backwards engineer how you did it! Meditation too; I can read about all of the different states of meditation or I can actually experience the different states by swapping the hours I spend on the internet for practice. And this is my main point. For the newcomer 98% of what he/she will read on the internet is complete BS, and without any guidance, he/she could easily cause more suffering in their lives. Only 2% will be beneficial. In addition, everyone on the internet thinks that their method to enlightenment on the internet is the "most effective" as it worked for them, but how do you really know how deep of a master they are? Even people like Mooji, Alan Watts, Rupert Spira; you have to put a lot of trust in them that what they say is the Truth. 

So in effect, the internet is a journey that all modern enlightenment seekers will embark upon. It could lead you down decades of dead ends if for once you believe in a teacher, instead of believing in your heart. It can last a few months too; you play for as long as you want. But the main lesson the internet provides, and the Truth, is to finally listen to your heart, instead of what any teacher tells you. Your heart is your eternal compass, and it will not lead you astray, most people however are out of touch with feeling their hearts, and instead, use their minds to "rationally" and "logically" come to conclusions based on the "facts" that that individual has subscribed to. My advice is to have no subscriptions, and never believe what anyone says here! This is because only you know what is true for you, others will never ever know what is true for you. Some practices are more universal than others, such as meditation (or "the releasing of thoughts as I like to put it") but some stuff I've tried that has promised so much has been downright ineffective, such as positive thinking. That is a lesson we will all have to learn: that we are all unique, we are all so special, and have different strengths, which means you may be more suited for one technique over another. Of course the most important thing is to practice a technique, and not use this as an excuse to not practice anything, and the more well known and ancient techniques are a good place to start. This is why the best teachers, if there is such a thing, are the ones who tell you to feel into your heart and see if this resonates with you. Does this meditation spark a sense of excitement in my heart, or am I in a deep state of fear? Fear meaning, don't follow this path right now. You can also have fear in your gut region which is a lower kind of fear, and it's coming from a conflict between what your social conditioning believes and the practice at hand. That fear can be ignored.

Coming onto the internet with this mind set, that I am here to find a teacher that I resonate with the most in my heart (with no intentions to believe him/her but simply to listen to my hearts reaction to their words) will lead you in the right direction. And again, once you have followed the teachers you resonate with for a few months or years, and are finding long term benefits after months of practice, it is time to move on and use the extra time you would use on the internet to gain "more wisdom" to practice. I remember when I was talking to Gabe Salomon, at the end I said to him, "I resonate so much with what you are saying about love; how loving my heart is the fastest way to enlightenment. I feel like all of my questions are answered so I will make sure to not search for more wisdom as to lead me further into confusion!". The ego is afraid of 'missing out' on all of these insights into getting better at dating, or finding a "better" technique and once we come to a certain level of clarity, it seeks to destroy it to confirm the belief that it is "missing out" on something. And after the talk with Gabe I made the mistake of going back on the internet, and I became very confused until I stuck with two teachers I liked, and finally resolved the conflict between their teachings so that I could finally detach myself from searching for more information from that point of view. Now I look at information on the web for enjoyment (or is it secretly escapism? I will explain below), I'm no longer consciously trying to find a missing puzzle piece, I use it solely for motivation now when I can find the right content. 

But even then it leads me back to the question: What does the internet give me right now every time I'm on it? And if I'm really honest, when I feel into my heart, most of the time I'm still very subtly (subconsciously) wanting to collect insights. It's a slight addiction to knowledge that I have. But is it really an addiction to knowledge? Is there something deeper that that lies unresolved and unacknowledged each time I "Gather information". I started to experiment with this and I've found that each time I place the centre of awareness in my heart rather than my head like yours is, it creates a impulse to eat food, or go on here. So it is not an addiction to knowledge. It is an avoidance of emotions. As I have said, we came to this planet to clear our karma/cellular memories/emotions by feeling our emotions. Observe most of what you do in your daily life is an avoidance of feeling your heart. Most of your thoughts distract you from your heart. What happens when I open my laptop? My awareness goes straight to my head (aside from watching Matt Kahn, or writing this!) which is not a coincidence. Why do we eat 3-5 times a day when we only need to eat once? Emotions. Our social conditionings main objective is to keep us lost in our thoughts, or the trivial matters of everyday life (which is also a thought), so we are away from feeling. As I hinted, some content online can bring you closer to your heart like a good song, or a good teacher. And so I suggest that any spiritual seeker thus listens to their heart on the web. Feel the emotions of discontent inside you when you mindlessly browse articles, they are there. And search for love in it's replacement, that you feel after watching something truly inspiring until you no longer need the internet at all to keep evolving, for the internet only takes you so far until the wonders of embodying the information you've learnt become more important. As a spiritual teacher said, "Read enough books until they convince you enough to practice, then you no longer need books". All the knowledge you need is found in the practice, not in the text

 

[Solace]

This is very coincidental! I just saw this Relates entirely.

 

[Solace]

6 months ago I decided to be a vegan. I used to have a blueberry smoothie, a bowl of cooked vegetables, and some cauliflower/pea rice with fruit, nuts and raisins on the side. It was a massive meal of about 3000 calories. For the first 2 and a half months I spread it out into 3 different meals then on January the 17th I transitioned to OMAD (one meal a day in the evening). This had a more beneficial effect on my concentration and focus than the switch from a healthy omnivorous diet to a vegan diet as my stomach only had to ingest one meal, thus freeing up energy for the brain. I also went from 72kg to 66kg during that time. Then a bit over a month ago I became raw vegan, and only bought food from the local farmers market. The calories plummeted from 3000 to about 2000 overnight. I noticed a big increase in energy levels as the prana/life force energy in uncooked food is preserved. And I started to feel lighter, more calm, centered, as well as having more control over my thoughts. I’ve still stayed the same weight even with the decrease in calories. Calories are imaginary afterall, it is food with a high density of minerals and nutrients that is optimal for health  

This has finally lead me to a fruitarian diet (80% fruits, 10% greens, 10% fat) for the past 3 days (as you see below). And one of the most important ingredients is the little cup you see on the side which is a superfood mix of 1 tsp spirulina, 2 tbsp flaxseed powder and 1 tsp of raw honey. The superfood mix supplements all of the other essential  amino acids, nutrients and minerals that the fruit doesn’t provide such as iron, the B vitamins, potassium etc. The flaxseed powder is equivalent to 22 fish oil capsules which and the reason I say this is because the imbalance between omega 3’s and omega 6’s in our bodies is one of the leading causes of heart attacks, through the blockage of arteries. For the average vegan for every 17 omega 6’s there is 1 omega 3. This ration should be one to one, and this is what flaxseed powder can do for you. Also I mainly add the honey for the taste! All you need is flaxseed and spirulina for the main benefits of correcting any deficiencies leading to theoretically a happier mood, less mood swings (due to chemical imbalances), and more energy of course (as the body can run more efficiently). 

So why do I eat fruits then over vegetables. Isn’t all of that sugar bad for you? For that I don’t know, but if a monkey can eats a monofruitarian diet of bananas and is super healthy until a few weeks before death (whereas with humans our health steadily/sharply declines with age) and their genetics are 98-99% identical, then there must be something more to fruit beyond the belief that sugar is not healthy in larger quantities. In addition, before our cavemen days when we lived in the tropics as human as we are today, we ate mostly fruit! And we were very healthy back then if you do research on that time period. It’s a scientific fact that people in the Mediterranean have a reduced risk of heart attacks, and they eat lots of fruit. But the main reason I personally eat fruit other than my heart telling me that that is what it wants, is that fruit is the highest vibrational food on the planet. They can see this through equipment which measures the vibration (for more info):

There are many other reasons too that you can go check out. For now, I will post back in a month for the long term benifits in my own experience. 

Here is my one meal a day. It’s around 1200 calories and is all organic. The fruit changes every week depending what is in season. When you are eating 1000-1500 calories this is known as calorie restriction. When you combine this with OMAD you can extend you life by over 30% (for mammals this has been tested) over a healthy 3 meals a day omnivorous diet. Im hoping to live to about 150, 300 could also be possible as some enlightened individuals feed on prana and create the phenomenon known as breatherianism whereby no food is consumed. Combined with a a brain and body free from thoughts and emotions this means the individual could live upwards of 1000 years as referenced in the Bible by people such as Moses, Joshua and the other guys.

May you use this information to live healthier and higher energy lives that you all deserve. 

OMAD and Calorie restriction: 

 

Edited April 20, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

The Never Ending "I Love You" until I have reached enlightenment

For a week I have placed my awareness in the centre of my heart. Now I'm moving to the next level, the constant "I Love You" stream. My ego is on the edge of a cliff leading down into infinity, and I want it to make the leap, and jump into the void. I've had dreams of this void, and felt as if I was going to die, only to wake up in my bed still here This is the fastest way I know. I will do this.

I have tried many times, but only lasted one day. And even that one day was the best day of my life. I want to be my authentic self again, I want to experience the openness I felt when I was a child. I want to be so overwhelmed by self-love so the ego can return to the light, and become one with reality. As I have said, enlightenment is all emotions, for in order for kundalini to reach your crown chakra you need to remove emotional blockages. Love is the ultimate healer for that. 

Sometimes I cry for no reason, and pain is always inside my heart. This is the perfect signs of awakening! Hopefully I don't have much karma/emotional debris to feel from my past and present lives, but I'm prepared to take this leap for the wellbeing of all who I touch. What follows will be the proof of the pudding, and it's my deepest pleasure to have anyone reading this come for this ride with me to infinity/nothingness. 

I'll start as soon as I finish the next sentence, and will not stop saying "I love you" until 'I' die. That is: Right Now.

Important Update:

For the past hour I have compared saying "I Love You" to just feeling my emotions. When I say "I Love You" my attention can easily be focused on those words rather than the emotion. I feel it is a disservice to my emotions because I'm more focused on constantly saying these words which are really just another distraction, just another sneaky ego thought bubble when used without focus and intention. Just feeling my emotions however resulted in a empty and relaxed mind/muscles around my skull. I could feel my emotions much deeper, and experience my surroundings from a connected state. I feel like this is the more heart centred practice and I'm so grateful that I compared the techniques before diving in. In small doses throughout the day, saying "I Love You" authentically at an experience (rather than blindly in the air) is absolutely wonderful to do. However, when I just feel my emotions though it is more painful, I instead breathe into them; the breathe being a silent form of "I Love You".

So the never ending I love you will continue! It is exactly the same but instead of saying I love you in my head, I will use the breathe to focus my attention on my emotions as the eternal silent I Love You that permeates the universe in each moment, and your heart knows this well.

The silent I love you starts now, and so with it I will take no thoughts with me as Jesus so said two thousand years ago. Peace, and love to all hearts, including those that are and aren't loved like they deserve to be. We all deserve more love,  not less.

Edited April 21, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

Brad Johnson on Emotions

"Emotions are a defence mechanism that has been created preventing yourself from looking big picture because you weren't 'ready' at time"

"Emotions release stagnant energy that has been created from a state of programming from when we were born"

 

[Solace]

I had a big discussion with my parents last night. We sat down and spent two hours talking about my practices and how this would lead into my future. It was so healing how we all had that honest moment together where we could express ourselves freely, and what I found out was that they were very concerned about my health, and didn't know where all of these strange techniques could lead to. I'm at a higher place of consciousness and communicating that to them, the huge amounts of growth I've had on the inside, was a challenge. But in the end, even though they disagreed with urine therapy, I feel we reached an understanding that I'm on a mission towards enlightenment, and that now one, no one in the entire world can stop me from going on this path. And that I'm willing to go the lengths, because that is my highest excitement, to become an enlightened master who travels the world to heal the collective unconsciousness, and lead a revolution similar to Jesus that makes it so that my children can grow up without heavy cultural conditioning, and free of the cycles of abuse we are all working through. 

I watched a video today which helped explain their resistance against me. It's not that they are the universe telling me that what I'm doing is wrong, God isn't secretly trying to stop me. In fact it is the opposite, God is testing me to see how strong my purpose is. He wants to know that I value my purpose more than any external feedback to make me become more in alignment with my true self. And conversely, I am doing so well on my spiritual journey and following my truth so much, that my family, who aren't following their truth as much as they could see their own misalignment, which brings up the shadow parts in themselves that need to be healed so that they can be more in alignment themselves. Basically, I'm such a bright light, that I'm bringing all of the darkness out of everyone to be healed, embraced, and cherished like never before. I've felt the depths of my inner child so deeply that the inner child in others is being called out. This is a beautiful perspective to have, and one that really resonates with me when Gabe told me this morning. Yes, they may be the time to move out of the house, to dive into the unknown, we will see. Just where I can go with no money, and at nearly 18 is probably endless if I open my mind to it, but it seems hard right now unless I move half way across the world to the amazon and live there. I actually love staying with my Mum, I love the pain, I love the good times, it's not a bother for me. That's why I may ask to have until the end of the year with them, so I can really define my absolute highest vision for myself possible, become enlightened, and show them how much I have grown. I just need until Christmas, and I know then that I will be in such a high vibe state that I will be living my greatest passion, and making the decisions which are best for everyone, as right now, the ego can get really involved and lead to a few years of suffering that were not essential. I will ask my Mum for this, I deserve to have this space to grow, and I want to do it here at home where I have all of the resources I need to become a Jesus, or a Buddha, or a Ghandi. 

I'm on the brink of awakening, and the universe is sending my family to act this way as a reminder that I'm walking the right path. My only choice is to keep living my passion, and to refine it by finishing the end of the LP course; or to move to an intentional community but when I think about it, I don't think an intentional community in isolation is big enough for my dreams of growing humanity like Matt Kahn does, or a zen monastery for that fact. 

So, with this in mind, I make my life simple, and make all choices from a place of excitement, no rationalisations, just feeling into my heart what is right. If I did rationalise I should be able to stay home comfortably until my mid twenties in a normal situation, but who cares. I'm in love right now! I'm feel so loving, and I will do all I can to share that and make it even greater. I'm just happy to be alive, and have this opportunity to live. There is no right or wrong choice, just the one that is more loving will be more fulfilling. But even if I embarrassed myself, messed everything up it wouldn't be that bad. There is always a way. With that, lets start loving the fuck out of this world with more intensity, lets make every rebuttal a reason to be more loving than seeing it as a gift from God to make us see through his eyes instead of the egos. <3

[Solace]

Ego Masks and Inconsistent Feedback

I was with my lovely friends today in a natural reserve celebrating a birthday. I felt safe around all of them because I knew that they wouldn't put on another mask if I inconvenienced them. They were honest about how they felt, and they didn't smile when they talked about something that hurt them, as my Mum does to me. When I talk with my Mum she stands their and complains about what happened in that day, she doesn't see the positive, and it's not her fault, that is how her brain has been wired. But the feeling in my heart I got from here was "This isn't authentic", and the word "Actor" kept coming up in my mind. This is because while she was talking about something she didn't like about her day she kept giving me the fakest false smile I have ever seen, but because I only hang out with my friends once every few weeks, this was easy to ignore, and I made the mistake to think that this was normal. It seems there is a a belief in our world that we must smile, and that we must be happy but this is the saddest shit I have experienced. I would rather someone be authentically upset than trying to fake being happy while using words that showed that they are obviously upset.

That is the ego mask which the person who uses this deserves to know they are doing if you have that one in your life, or if you yourself do it. When you are being inauthentic people will feel it in their hearts every single time because our hearts are free from any conditioning, it's just a matter of consciously feeling it while it happens to you. From my own experience all of my close family members are inauthentic like this, while almost everyone who is my age, and trusts me, are genuine (which is the people I want to be with). You can't connect with people on that deeper level either if they wear an ego mask rather than just being themselves. Being yourself is so easy to do around other people who are just being themselves if you notice. 

Then there is inconsistencies. This is when a parent, or loved one has a nice ego mask some of the time, and then changes the ego mask to that of anger, frustration etc. when they are being inconvenienced by you or someone else.  For example, my Mum may wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, hope you had a good sleep" and even though it's such beautiful words, I feel the same sense of "This isn't authentic" as if what is truly being said is "I love you for now, get ready to do some chores for me". This means people can lie through their words, people can lie through their face, but never can they lie to your heart. It is such a subtle thing to connect to, and you would never think to do it, and that is why I am sharing this now because I feel this is one of the most important things I have written. So that is an inconsistency right there between how my Mum truly feels, and how she is expressing herself, which we as children are all brought up in and think that this is how we should behave, to hide our emotions to keep the peace, but this creates so much suffering and disconnect that I wouldn't wish it upon anyone to be brought up in. That is the inconsistency between the true self, and the ego. But there is also another inconsistency, which is that between ego masks. If we look at the words of the ego, my Mum may say to me in the morning "I love you" and then she may say "I hate you" further in the day. This is an inconsistency. Do you love me or do you hate me? How can you even say those two extremes? It really is a clear sign of an unstable relationship when your partner varies between extreme opinions of you (ego masks) in order to serve their agenda. Again the inconsistency between a persons face, and their words (which is an ego mask)  is what creates a feeling of inauthenticity in our hearts, while the inconsistency of a persons opinion of you (you're an angel, you are a monster!) is the changing of ego masks to serve ones agenda which requires the first inconsistency to exist. Both are massive forms of manipulation, and are there mainly for self-preservation (so people don't think badly of me, so that I seem happy all of the time, and ironically, consistent with showing other people that I'm happy when I'm really sad). It's a disease that has spread through all of humanity. And everyone deserves to know this disease of inconsistency to be free from it.

The true mastery of life is to say what you mean, and mean what you say. I talked with a friend today about how she prays every night for God to assist her throughout the day. She almost cried from talking about all of the people who had hurt her, and it was so authentic, and we were so connected that she may of been talking about "depressing" things, but It touched my heart so deeply that I almost cried too. This is what life is about, to not only feel our emotions, but to express our emotions to people from a place of honesty, without trying to please someone.

And the real master can express his/her emotions without blaming anyone for causing them, or anything external or internal for that matter. The true master knows that emotions are not caused by anything, and spontaneously arise in one of the frames of the now moment. In fact there is no cause of anything in the world. A car doesn't drive past you, but you see it that way from the billions of unrelated frames of the now moment that are stitched together like in a movie. We align with these different frames through the frequency we are at, and there are many ways to increase that. Be careful who you are with because they have the power to make you believe that being two-faced is normal. Be around people who mean what they say, or be around no one Look to your family for these inconsistent people, and know this is the true reason why the saying is to spend a week with your family when you think are enlightened. We seem to have a natural tendency to leave unauthentic people such as when you're on a date, and you know something isn't right, but with family members who we are forced to be raised by, we instead become rebellious; projecting our anger onto them for not being themselves.

And then the ultimate irony is, when you start becoming yourself, your family will then rebel against that too because it is too far out of their societal conditioned belief systems to be accepted. So maybe it is best to leave and immerse yourself in a world with people your age, as inauthentic people are strong, and will want you to be like them too so you 'fit in'. When they are inconsistent, this creates a sense of insecurity, you feel ungrounded in reality, unseen, unheard, unloved, it is emotional and mental abuse without them (and sometimes the child/partner) even knowing it. And as Matt Kahn said about abuse, which we are all experiencing most likely from some person, it is something you cut out of yourself, your life, rather than heal in others. Other people are too hard wired most of the time to change their ways, especially after 50 years of doing it. If you say it to them, they will think you are judging them. There may be a chance you can hit home in their hearts, but probably not. The inauthenticity also creates a dense, and draining vibration in the house that I have experienced from being with my friends compared to being at home. So if there is any abuse at home, this is mainly caused by inauthenticity. Cool, huh. Apart from feeling bad from leaving the nest  

 

[Solace]

Leaving For a Few Months

In one post I talked about the internet being a big distraction for self-actualizers further along in the journey. I want to reaffirm that and pull a @Shin on you all and leave for a couple of months to get deeper into my practices. I'll post my insights here and on the forum for those I feel I can help, and updates every few weeks, maybe daily just in the journal as I write in their daily anyway, so why not keep sharing? I still come on here sometimes looking for "big insights" which is exactly the same as logging on to Facebook to see if someone's liked your post. It's a full vacation from anything that is separating me from my emotions on the internet, so basically everything. I may watch anime etc. as it opens my heart so much.

Good luck everyone, I love you. And if you see me on here I won't be looking at insights, but sharing wisdom with others because that is what excites me (and I can't help it). "Leaving for a few months" means leaving the addiction of looking at insights mindlessly, it doesn't mean I won't be here posting. So I'll be less active. That makes it simpler to understand, only on here from my heart rather than my egotistic need for any kind of self-validation.

Edited April 23, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

My Final Practices  

• >4 hours of sun gazing
• >30 minutes of squatting meditation
• >2 hours of the divine headstand
• >30 minutes of rebounding
• Feeling my emotions instead of thinking i.e. same as focusing on the breathe in the belly region (24/7 zen meditation) 
• Eating 1000-1500 calorie fruitarian meal each evening
• Looping all of my Urine (sinus flush morning/evening)
• Finding things to be grateful for/setting loving intentions before any activity/seeing abundance, love, connection, and happiness everywhere I look.

Other stuff I enjoy doing 

• Going for walks in nature
• Reading about non-duality, epistemology and metaphysics
• Journaling
• Listening to Matt Kahn, or any content that connects me with my heart (Anime, music, playing guitar)

More updates in a few weeks or a few months <3

 

Edited April 24, 2018 by Solace

[moon777light]

wishing you well on your journey and i hope to see you again!

[Solace]

@moon777light You're too kind. I feel like being on here is wonderful, and it has caused me to grow more. It's the purposeless search for "more information" on here, or on the internet that I shall stop. I've decided however, because I love sharing my journey and things that help me in day to day life that I will keep posting on here frequently (in the evenings, to make sure I finish all of my practices first), but I'll reduce my time a bit to re-establish the balance between sharing and practicing my art. So not a few weeks, but a few days; otherwise I'd be denying the excitement in me that is calling for me to be a light for others You're doing so well from what I've read Moonlight, it's really fun growing together!

Edited April 23, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

14 Day Urine Fast

After reading almost a University course worth of material on Urine Therapy, I have found overwhelming evidence that urine is not only safe for our bodies to consume, but is the original and most effective cure to any disease with benefits of increased longevity. I am so excited to try a long fast from reading this article: 

And it makes me want to start today instead of on Sunday! I know the first 7 days will be a breeze, but after that my family will defiantly start worrying about my health; so much discipline, willpower and sharing of wisdom to them will be necessary. I'll weigh myself everyday, and record what happened that day either here or in my paper journal (I may also take pictures of the urine to show you how clear it is). Wish me luck everyone, and I wish for you so much health that you feel like your on top of the world every second of the day.

Final update on the internet:

I am one known to make quick and radicle changes in my life, which I consider a talent when discernment isn't a big factor. So the new rule I live by is, I must finish all of my practices before using the internet for the day (excluding the evening sun gazing session). I'll see how that goes, because I find that I can provide better insights, and I use the internet much more responsibly when I'm in a higher state of consciousness after practicing. Love.

Edited April 23, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

I just watched Leo’s blog. I was crying the whole time as he described my greatest vision of reaching so deep into reality that everything is absolute nothingness without time and space. He was so humble about it too.

I’ve updated my spiritual practices above to be less restricted, so that I can personalize how long to do each technique each day. Leo’s inspiration made me connected with my own intuition such that I am no longer going to hold myself back anymore through wasting my time on anything but that which will lead me to nothingness. I’m going to practice so “hardcore”, because that is my destiny, that is my greatest excitement and where my heart is ultimately leading me. I think I know my 18th birthday present: 5-meo-dmt!! I just have absolutely no clue of where to find a good source, like no clue, so I’ll be so grateful for some help there (and I’ll start trying to find it now for it could take months ).

Enlightenment is possible. Leo showed me it’s not just exclusive for a few people, but those who truly are dedicated to their vision will get there. ? I’m not as scared anymore to die.

My path is a mixture of 4 spiritual beings: Matt Kahn (Love), Master of Earth (Pineal Gland), Leo Gura (vision/psychedelics/inspiration/grounding) and myself. I can feel/sense/know that this regime will be effective. There isn’t an emptiness in me that I’ve had for weeks as if I’ve been living under my potential, and I remember Matt Kahn said that this happens when your future self is so evolved. He said that your subconscious mind can see your evolved self, and so the criticism in your mind is from this comparison which proves how brightly you are meant to shine.

Edited April 24, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

I’ve a big realization today. It’s to do with the techniques I’m doing. I haven’t been enjoying them at all, and have found much resistance externally and internally to do them.

What I saw was that we are all unique, and that no one teacher should ever tell you a technique to do, for he dosen’t know what is best. Only your heart knows what is best. For example, it might be ideal for you to meditate for a few months, and then change to focusing more on exercise for a few months. The biggest mistake is thinking you have to practice long term, but that could actually stop you from growing. It’s all to do with what excites you in the moment, and that is the most important thing. Excitement is independent of any teacher, and is your higher self telling you to follow this path. Perhaps your excitement is guiding you to eat healthy as your spiritual practice or go for a walk in the woods. 

The happy little accident I made was thinking that there was an ultimate technique or psychedelic but there is none for we are all unique. I’m glad I see through this now, as for years I’ve been blinded by hundreds of teachers and gurus who said especially that we should meditate, but this is unnecessary. The only thing that is necessary to reach all of your goals is to make the most loving choice, or follow the most exciting/empowering/relaxing choice as Matt Kahn says. 

So ive gone full circle back into the heart of love. I’ve stopped all of my practices, apologized to myself and my family for my mistakes, and started to reread “whatever arises love that”. I have no regrets for doing what I did because it not only makes me a wiser teacher for anyone wanting to know the true spiritual journey of acting from the heart etc. but it also makes me more dedicated and trusting in my inner guidance than ever before. Never will I listen to anyone, not even Leo, who tells me what to do. I will instead listen to my heart forever, and be the loving parent to my emotions that they never had before. I already feel much more “myself” and for the rest of my life I will know this.

Thankyou all for coming on this roller coaster with me so far. By reading through my past entries you can see how deluded I was. Now is the start of a new chapter for me spiritually where I wake up everyday, completely free to follow my heart, without an ugly spiritual checklist for me to go through so I can feel like I’m accomplishing something. The techniques shared by MOE were powerful but that’s not why we came to Earth. If enlightenment was the reason we came to earth then we wouldn’t of come here, and we would've remained in spirit form, which is already enlightened. We came here to instead FEEL the enlightenment the spirit already KNOWS, until counterintuitive this the byproduct is enlightenement as a bonus to the love we hold on our hearts.

Thank you. And I love you whoever is reading this. Love can never lead you astray, but my ego wanted to first look at the “other options” of standing on my head etc! Even though I wasn’t born to do that. The journey should be rather effortless, effort is mostly spirit telling you that this isn’t the time to pursue this. I highly recommend everyone reads, “whatever arises love that” and follow that without looking back, otherwise you may end up like me spending months trying to find something “out there” to bring my enlightenent. You can do things “out there” as long as your heart tells you that it’s ok. I hope you’ve learned from this dear ones as much I have.

The rest of this journal shall be my realignment to love. And nothing will change my mind anymore, because I realise that love is the only answer to everything I want, period. I won’t ignore you again my heart, and I’m so sorry I ever did, I just didn’t know that what I was doing was hurting you, but now, I won’t hurt you anymore, I’ll instead be the liberator of all of your hurt, and this the hurt in all hearts, which is my greatest pleasure. I’ve burned through all of my karma which sent me on a spiritual rollcoaster, and this has made me more dedicated to you to take your hand, and walk together into the light, and spread love to all those who cross our path because they too are the same as us, and deserve to be loved more not less for nothing more than the sake and enjoyment of doing just that.

Goodbye my spiritual seeking. I’ll miss you.

[Solace]

Video Game Bonanza

When I was 4 years old I received my first video game console with my all time favorite game included. I stopped counting how many times I had completed the game because I did it multiple times a season. This was none other than "Kingdom Hearts".

The story was of a young 14 year old boy named Sora who one day was caught in a storm on his nearby island, losing his two friends Riku and Kairi. He woke up in another world, and sought to find his friends because he loved them dearly. And this is what got me hooked. Especially at the climax where (spoilers) Sora sacrifices himself so that Kairi can regain consciousness by her heart returning to her body. It was beautiful. The Disney worlds in between the main story were fun, but the friendship aspect is what made this game phenomenal. And so began my video game addiction in general...

What I have realized is that, even with the most emotional and enchanting game I have played in my life, the feeling of connection, safety, and love you receive from genuine friends far outweighs this artificial world. It doesn't matter what the game is, in the end it is still pixels flashing on a screen generating a physiological response inside of us to the stimuli. Humans however have something special that I've learnt and experienced: We have layers. A mental, emotional, and physical body. In human to human conversation our emotional bodies can interact, and this isn't possible in the video game world, thus it will always lack that layer of connection. Anything in nature can create genuine feelings in us too, as long as it is living.

So why don't people choose to be with themselves, or people or nature instead of plugging into the video game matrix? Why do I still feel attracted to play through these old games? First the second question! The time when I played Kingdom Hearts and some older video games was when I was a child. As a child I was a ball of energy, my consciousness leaps and bounds higher in vibration. Due to this relationship my adult self wants to connect with the high vibe of my child self, not the video game.

Secondly, video games represent key pillars of our modern society. That is instant gratification (through rewards and achievements), and escape from bad emotions (away from a manipulative family in the real world is prevalent), and the sedentary, lazy lifestyle. Video games therefore contribute to the perpetual loop of staying in the same vibratory state of a largely shattered ego, by providing yet another place to escape from our hearts. Our hearts are calling for our attention, that is all it wants. The heart doesn't want you to pursue a life purpose, or "do" anything, it wants to be listened to. And funnily enough, that is the fastest way to spiritually evolve. So what is most of modern society built around then if we aren't all enlightened? It must mean that it is built around avoiding our heart. Television (Tell lies to your vision), video games, the internet, junk food, the belief that we need to achieve external goals to have self-worth are all meant to direct our attention outwards when turning our attention inwards is rather uncomfortable. Discomfort is the ego falling apart, and being reintegrated into the light in real-time; and as we can see the matrix we are in called society has made this belief ass backwards to, "if I feel uncomfortable then I must have done something wrong in the past to cause this". No my lovelies, you did nothing wrong at all, you are just experiencing a deep deep inner transformation. And if you made friends with discomfort, instead of running to an artificial world or an unnatural one and committed to your heart (the source of all of existence) you would see a greater reality unfold before your very eyes. Life would become peaceful, as your heart becomes content that you are there, not elsewhere. Realize too, that even meditation can disconnect us from our hearts. Well can't video games connect us to our hearts? Never. Only we can connect to our hearts, the video games do not do it for us. No matter the circumstances, what we see right in front of our faces, it never is the source of our inner connection. My darlings, we are the awareness that connects with our heart, and that is the eternal truth. So yes, while playing a video game you could be connected with your heart in brief emotional scenes, that force our attention to it, but 99% of the time, our attention is glued to a screen, not inside of us, for that is how you play a video game. You can't 100% focus on your heart and focus on a video game. You can still play, but not consciously. It's like when we talk without knowing the next word we are going to say, and in that case we can 100% consciously focus on our heart and talk, but not focus on talking and focus on our heart.

We want to become as heart centered as possible. It's so simple. You don't need any routine when you have a heart that knows the best thing for you to do in each and every moment. A compass that points to the true north of your journey, where you become the parent to yourself that you never had. The world we live in darlings is designed to hard wire us to be thought centered beings in our minds, and it has a very external focus. So the effort or resistance we find in having our attention in our hearts  is over coming our own social conditioning, and that which surrounds us. Be warned too, that this new center of attention accelerates the healing of old social conditioning achetypes as we become more conscious of what we have ignored. This is why I ask everyone to take it easy, start slow, and just put your attention there. Just Be in your heart space, and all of life will flow towards love at the rate you feel your heart. (btw, feeling=listening=attention in heart space).

I wrote this today after what happened. Two days ago I impulsively bought a used graphics card to play some video games from this really strange guy. Long story short, the card has died, and I have the option to bring it back and get a refund of $100.00, but I decided not to because all of the money he said was going to widows in the Philippines. It was always meant to be.

God gave me the most amazing contrast of my life by making that card die. I came from feeling heavy in the head, and frustrated; to, when knowing I couldn't play PC games, feeling a great joy in my heart arise. My heart was saying, "Yes!! Thank you God! Now Solace, can you give me your attention? I only ask for a little bit, just so I know that you love me". And I heard it, and responded by giving it what it wanted, and apologizing for almost falling back into video games after a year of sobriety. That is life's eternal choice, the quintessential question. To listen to my heart; or to listen to my ego (subconscious thoughts), or the egos of others? My heart, or my ego? My heart, or my ego?

Infinite love. The journey is the heart, and the heart is the journey.

 

 

 

[Solace]

Going to sleep as I love myself?

The most hilarious things are starting to happen in my life through fully committing to self-love. One of those is the unexpected times I fall asleep in my day. For instance, when I have a formal session of self-love I often place my hand on my heart, and start to breathe slowly into the center of an emotion in there. I then either compliment the emotion, or say how sorry I am that it is there, or how I don't know how to love; I get very creative there until it feels like I've reached the deepest level I can feel into it, and then I will speak softly and gently to it through hundreds of "I love yous" like a sweet lullaby to my heart. It reminds me of being held by my Mum when I was a child, and falling asleep in her arms (for you it could be the memory of a lover, or a time when you were nice to yourself). My heart begins to slowly open up, and reality starts to have a dream-like quality made up of pure love. It's a perfect time to sleep.

So why is this happening? My heart begins to feel so safe, which makes the overstimulated nervous systems start to relax. Since nervous systems only relax as we enter sleep, the body thinks that it is that time of night; this is until you start to get used to that more relaxed state of being, so it just becomes your new default vibration. I'm looking forward to seeing where all of this takes me. I'm so blessed to have stopped sun gazing and doing the head stand so I could focus on my heart. It's really unbelievable how I made this heart-centered change because I was so certain that I needed a technique to reach enlightenment, but now I don't want to reach enlightenment, I just want to love my heart for the sake of it. If I only live once, I'd rather miss out on "the best technique" and just love everything I see. That is more honorable I think. But the fact that this shift occurred shows me that there is something greater working in my favor, and I want to thank whatever that is for helping me see the light of my own heart, and through the illusion of needing to do anything, other than be here, right now, as I am.

Many blessings, the one is the all. Let's start to count the times I fall asleep due to intense relaxation, the more the better!

Edited May 2, 2018 by Solace

[Solace]

A video on the importance of maintaining heart-centered awareness, and seeing the beliefs that create all thoughts, emotions, and reality

 

 

[Solace]

Infinite Love

I have found in my life that whenever started a challenge to, for example, say "I love you" 24/7 I fail after a few days. It is the conflict between our subconscious beliefs and our radicle action that creates a big emotional resistance in ourselves. That is why it is hard to maintain a swift change at times, as your core fundamental deeply ingrained childhood beliefs that make up the identity of a you need to removed. And the only way to remove these beliefs is to go through all of the ignored emotions in our cells that continue to manifest in the people we see, which in turn strengthens the beliefs that made us avoid those emotions in the first place. For example, if I've ignored all of the sadness in my life, I will see it in everyone I met, and everything I see, as I have a belief that it's not OK to feel sadness. Reality responds to this by giving you more and more sadness so that the belief that sadness must be avoided can remain. And to go even further, if from this belief, which counter intuitively created the sad emotions and thoughts I wanted to avoid, I started to honor my heart with unconditional love and decided to face the sadness (like I would listen to my 5 year old self in need) this would create "resistance" beyond imagination to face, which in truth is all of the emotions being finally seen, and heard and felt. This feeling of the heart instead of the thinking from the mind, this shift in your default state of awareness that is the destiny of all human beings on this planet thus gives your heart so much more attention that your body will struggle to handle it. The pain of emotions transmuting faster than your body can keep up will at the start also create feelings of heavy sleepiness, and could manifest physical illness as the emotional energy cannot leave fast enough. This is why changing habits can be quite challenging for you can feel against your limiting subconscious thoughts of "I don't like this change", the pain of emotions being felt, and finally your beliefs which is the source of this all.

So lets deal with the source then? What is the best way to change beliefs? There are two I know, and use.

The first is to ask whenever an emotion arises in your body: What do I have to believe about myself in order to feel this way? So lets say you are jealous that a friend gets all of the attention from people, and you don't. The belief is then, "I am not worthy of attention from people". Now, is that really true? Just feel that in your body for a moment, I am not worthy of attention from other people. Why did you choose out of all the beliefs in existence to have this one? Would you want to tell that to your friends if they asked: "Hey, so what do you believe about yourself?" and you say: "That I'm unworthy of love" would you be proud? If you could live this life again would you choose that belief or would you swap it for "I am God almighty, and I deserve to be heard, felt , and adored to no end. Because my body is made of love, and my soul is love itself, love is my birthright." What a different life that would create.

Once you find that limiting belief, reverse it as I have done above, and then live as if it is true. That is all that is necessary.

The second is what I use the most often. That is to be inside of your heart, live from that center point. Your heart is love, your heart is life, your heart is the everything you have ever dreamed of that has been right under your nose the whole time. By loving whatever emotion arises in your heart you clear all of your karma, free all of your beliefs, until all that is left is a space of nothingness for bliss to fill. This practice includes loving whatever catches your attention by sending it a blessing, compliment, a smile, an affirmation, or simply an "I love you" so that you are BEING the love. This means any beliefs that are out of alignment with love will be forced to vanish at the rate that you choose love in each moment.

The importance of this cannot be written in words, for from your level of awareness the true gifts are completely unfathomable and will seem to most, "too good to be true". These practices should be integrated slowly until a 24/7 level is reached after a few weeks, or months; as the pain of the 3 ego defenders (emotions, thoughts and beliefs) may overwhelm you as it did in my experience.

Even the 3 ego defenders are just here to help you see for yourself that nothing in reality can fulfill you other than the attention and care you give to yourself. This just shows how absolutely everything that arises in your awareness is here to support your highest evolution, so see it as the gift that it is, and love the fuck out of it.

 

[Solace]

Good bye everyone for a while. My inner compass is directing me inwards, to my heart, and to embody the teachings I intuitively write. I intend to come back truly knowing myself as abounding love. It's a time of self-care, gentle nurturing, and deep relaxation. To give love to everything that arises.

To you guys who have been reading, thank you so much. It means a lot to have helped even one person. I love you all, my friends and family. Take in just one breathe, and smile at being blessed to live another day in this world that is calling you to slowdown, and embrace this moment, as it is now, as it is.

"I'm here for you my inner child, may the lines between us vanish. Sorry for not coming sooner, I didn't know how deeply you hurt."