Further down the rabbit hole - quality of life decreases. Help requested.

[gleb]

What's up everybody, 

Recently I had an energy work experience that blew my mind and shook my belief systems. I have an inclination toward these radical facets of life and enjoy reading about various spiritual topics but I didn't realize how close minded I was until a woman helped me open 3 of my chakras without physically touching me.

This woman, who has a PhD in Psychology, also spoke with me about the existence of spiritual realms and spirit guides and while we didn't go too in depth, she did warn me that after experiences like chakra work and psychedelics people tend to have an increased sensitivity to their presence. She gave me a brief outline on how to handle experiencing "entities" and made it very clear to not have them physically touch me and so on and so forth.

Talking with someone in person about topics like these is vastly different than online chats and to have them induce am entirely different state of consciousness without me consuming a substance has shook me substantially. After this, her yarn spinnings about spirits doesn't seem to far fetched. Psychedelics are my go tos for work like this, but there is still that underlying belief that it's a drug induced experience and not necessarily "valid". Energy work was nothing short of mystical. I couldn't believe what was happening in the moment and I left her office in pure bewilderment.

With that being said, my day to day life has been affected by this change in view point. This kind of stuff -especially entities- scare the bejesus out of me. It's a part of life that doesn't make logical sense and the experts on it are few and far between it seems. A kind of underlying paranoia plauges me when I try to go to sleep at night and I shit you not I am aware of very subtle changes in my environment when I am alone. Especially in deep meditation, I get rather fearful of what could happen to me with regards to these alternate realms and I don't want to accidently slip into a random dimension and have my soul raped by a demon or something like that. I've had a few nights of insomnia from this and earnestly wonder whether or not I've gone mad.

Simply talking like this is enough for me start pondering the possibility of mental illness like schizophrenia. I'm not quite sure what to do and any advice would very appreciated. 

Thanks!

Edited April 3, 2018 by gleb

[Prabhaker]

1 hour ago, gleb said:

Especially in deep meditation, I get rather fearful of what could happen to me with regards to these alternate realms and I don't want to accidently slip into a random dimension and have my soul raped by a demon or something like that.

If one keeps the doors closed, due to the fear, he does so at the cost of not attaining divinity. Fear is one of the doors from where one enters into one's being. So, don't ignore, don't escape, tremble with fear, face it.

[UDT]

@gleb  What you describe sounds like a Zen disciple who is really trying and trying and digging and digging. Its good!

Go on until you see. You´ll burst out laughing.

[UDT]

2 hours ago, gleb said:

I shit you not I am aware of very subtle changes in my environment when I am alone.

You are aware. Isnt it that your environment is fully there, no matter if you know or dont know? So what changed that makes you frightful?

[Arman]

It's an irrational fear. You had a few interesting experiences and now you're suddenly scared of ghouls that are going to gobble you up. It's the same kind of fear some religious people have of hell or judgement by god. 

The entities you're facing are within: namely fear. The ego projects all the suppressed stuff onto the world. You don't feel bad because of entities, you're just projecting entities because you feel bad. 

I don't think entities can just usurp your will. The only way something could really control you is by pushing your buttons and making you afraid. Face your fears, let go of them and then if someone tries to push the button, it won't do anything. 

What are you afraid to face? If you lose your mind, so what? 

2 hours ago, gleb said:

Simply talking like this is enough for me start pondering the possibility of mental illness like schizophrenia

welcome to spirituality

Edited April 3, 2018 by Arman