I dont feel any meaning in my life

[Viking]

Lately I dont like to do anything, nothing seems to make me have fun, all i can do is distract myself with movies.

I stopped meditating already a week and a half. i meditated for half a year and barely had any noticable effects. I wanted to start yoga but i cant bring myself to read the book, i was extremely excited about it but now i just dont want to read the book.

I dont want to study (i study in university), I dont want to do anything, even movies dont bring me joy anymore. I find myself having fun only in my dreams.

im very angry lately, I feel desperate and I want to cry

wtf am i supposed to do?

Edited April 3, 2018 by Viking

[Psyche_92]

Sounds like depression to me. Maybe you should seek professional help.

[Ether]

Guess you no longer feel like this

 

          

[Torkys]

Set aside all distraction for a longer period of time. This will force you to express everything that you try to hide with them. Also, consciousness - which is intelligent - will show you what is the root of this problem. 

[moon777light]

If you meditated for half a year but had little effects then your probably not meditating correctly

[Prabhaker]

1 hour ago, Viking said:

 i meditated for half a year and barely had any noticable effects.

You must be doing something non-meditative during that period. If you meditate for an hour and remain non-meditative remaining twenty-three hours, you will not experience any results.

[NoSelfSelf]

You are growing thats the sign of growth

[Ether]

2 hours ago, Torkys said:

Set aside all distraction for a longer period of time. This will force you to express everything that you try to hide with them. Also, consciousness - which is intelligent - will show you what is the root of this problem. 

im the opposite, i sit with my thoughts so much that i started distracting myself 

[Torkys]

@Ether And it goes full circle

 

[moon777light]

For those saying meditating once a day wont do that much- what do you recommend? Like meditating in tiny breaks throughout the day? 

[Prabhaker]

11 minutes ago, moon777light said:

Like meditating in tiny breaks throughout the day? 

Meditation has to spread all over your life. Whatsoever you do, do meditatively. Walk meditatively, eat meditatively. 

[Matt8800]

4 hours ago, Viking said:

Lately I dont like to do anything, nothing seems to make me have fun, all i can do is distract myself with movies.

I stopped meditating already a week and a half. i meditated for half a year and barely had any noticable effects. I wanted to start yoga but i cant bring myself to read the book, i was extremely excited about it but now i just dont want to read the book.

I dont want to study (i study in university), I dont want to do anything, even movies dont bring me joy anymore. I find myself having fun only in my dreams.

im very angry lately, I feel desperate and I want to cry

wtf am i supposed to do?

It sounds similar to existential crisis that people sometimes go through when they start to suspect the ego might be an illusion. If so, this is normal. Leo does a video on the dark side of meditation that addresses this. Keep going. It sounds like you are making progress.

If you are looking for objective meaning in your life, stop. Consciousness has no relation to objectivity. Dont underestimate the importance and profundity of subjective meaning. If the real "you" is infinite consciousness (god), then subjective meaning that transcends the ego is the same as meaning established by "god".

Focus on love, beauty and being present and start building meaning from that.

If you havent experimented with psychedelics to get a breakthrough, consider that. Combining DMT and meditation is what helped me get past the symptoms you described.

Edited April 3, 2018 by Matt8800

[abrakamowse]

Today I had an insight about that. I was thinking too that life is meaningless and I was feeling sad because I didn't want to do stuff I normally do, I was procrastinating and just not doing anything important. I was pressuring me into doing stuff anyway, but I didn't feel very happy about it. There was something deep inside me that was not happy with that.

And today at work I was thinking about that.  And suddenly I had an insight that said "the ego doesn't want the freedom, you have to get used to not having a purpose. That's freedom, you do whatever you want because you can do it". It really didn't come with words, I am trying to translate what it came to me, it's like a sudden knowing.

 

The ego doesn't like to have no purpose, because that's what he needs to continue existing. If there's a purpose there's a "self" (lower self/ego) who want's to achieve that purpose. But once the ego reaches its purpose, it changes. It doesn't want that, he needs to look for a new one. And so on...

Edited April 3, 2018 by abrakamowse

[Viking]

Just now, abrakamowse said:

Today I was having an insight about that. I was thinking too that life is meaningless and I was feeling sad because I didn't want to do stuff I normally do, I was procrastinating and just not doing anything important. I was pressuring me into doing stuff anyway, but I didn't feel very happy about it. There was something deep inside me that was not happy with that.

And today at work I was thinking about that.  And suddenly I had an insight that said "the ego doesn't want the freedom, you have to get used to not having a purpose. That's freedom, you do whatever you want because you can do it". It really didn't come with words, I am trying to translate what it came to me, it's like a sudden knowing.

 

The ego doesn't like to have no purpose, because that's what he needs to continue existing. If there's a purpose there's a "self" (lower self/ego) who want's to achieve that purpose. But once the ego reaches its purpose, it changes. It doesn't want that, he needs to look for a new one. And so on...

but thats different from not enjoying anything I do

[abrakamowse]

3 minutes ago, Viking said:

but thats different from not enjoying anything I do

 

The title of the post says that you don't find meaning in your life. I think that's what makes you not enjoy anything you do. It happened to me, that's why I shared that.

Edited April 3, 2018 by abrakamowse

[abrakamowse]

Not enjoying anything you do, it's a consequence of not seeing or feeling any purpose in your life. IMO.

[OEN]

6 hours ago, Torkys said:

Set aside all distraction for a longer period of time. This will force you to express everything that you try to hide with them. Also, consciousness - which is intelligent - will show you what is the root of this problem. 

@Torkys I have to agree with this.  Indulging in movies like you are is a clear escapism from what is bubbling underneath within that needs addressing, IMO.  It could be many things, but perhaps there's some emotional healing that is ready to come up, especially if you feel like crying.  My advice would be to sit with the emotions, without judgement, and cry if you need to, but focus your attention on the emotion, not the thought that comes with the emotion.

You may be surprised what thoughts actually come up.

[Viking]

@OEN so to sit/lie and do nothing the whole day?

[OEN]

@Viking If you feel emotions are at the surface, and you have all day, then yes, I would.  I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic in your post, but I highly doubt one would want to sit there all day and be with their emotions.  I have spent 3+hrs a day sitting with them before, but I had clear blockages in my solar plexus and heart chakras that needed releasing.  Tears flowed endlessly, but there is beauty in it as I was healing.

Your emotions will  come to the surface if you can feel them, it requires patience at times, but if you feel the need to cry all it takes is getting still and quiet and focusing on the area where you can feel the emotion and you'll cry, as you've said you feel like crying anyway.  Worst thing you can do is resist what your body is wanting to happen.  Crying can be a form of healing.

Edited April 3, 2018 by OEN

[dorg]

 

2 hours ago, Viking said:

but thats different from not enjoying anything I do

2 hours ago, abrakamowse said:

Today I had an insight about that. I was thinking too that life is meaningless and I was feeling sad because I didn't want to do stuff I normally do, I was procrastinating and just not doing anything important. I was pressuring me into doing stuff anyway, but I didn't feel very happy about it. There was something deep inside me that was not happy with that.

And today at work I was thinking about that.  And suddenly I had an insight that said "the ego doesn't want the freedom, you have to get used to not having a purpose. That's freedom, you do whatever you want because you can do it". It really didn't come with words, I am trying to translate what it came to me, it's like a sudden knowing.

 

The ego doesn't like to have no purpose, because that's what he needs to continue existing. If there's a purpose there's a "self" (lower self/ego) who want's to achieve that purpose. But once the ego reaches its purpose, it changes. It doesn't want that, he needs to look for a new one. And so on...

Yes, and because the ego has no purpose now, it decides that it will not like (enjoy) anything that you do - IOW it is having a tantrum. It is just another way for it to stay in control.