How to design a good Meditation Plan (for both short and long term)

[WellbeingSeeker]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forums.

Straight to the point: I'm looking to design a meditation plan for both the short term and the long term. There are several skills I'm interested in developing. For example, there are certain addictions and bad habits I want to overcome, so I want to develop more willpower, self-control and self-discipline, and I want to develop more equanimity as well, since this is the ability to remain still and at ease in the presence of sensations, urges, cravings, which sounds like a perfect skill to master in order to overcome any addiction. Additionally, I consider myself a very cold person when it comes to bonding with other people. I just cannot feel warm-heartedness within, so I tend to rely heavily on logic and cost-benefit reasoning to handle most of my social interactions. Therefore, I'm also interested in developing social-emotional skills such as loving-kindness, compassion and sympathetic joy (here I'm clearly borrowing terms from the Buddhist lore, where they are also known as metta, karuna and mudita, respectively). Developing all of these skills already seems like quite a lot of work, so I prefer to limit the discussion to these skills for now.

If I want to develop all of these skills, how should I design a good meditation plan for both the short term and the long term? I know there is a plethora of meditation techniques out there. To name a few: Yoga, Kriya, Zazen, Vipassana, Mindfulness (of the breath, of the sounds, of the thoughts, body scans, etc.), Calm Abiding, Metta-bhavana, Karuna, Mudita, etc. There are also Positive Affirmations, "New-Age style" Guided Visualizations, Hypnosis. And much, much more .... Given this overwhelming amount of options, and given the fact that I am an average lay person with a relatively busy schedule who cannot afford trying out so many techniques randomly and expecting fair results from each one ... I would really appreciate any advice to help me design a well-thought meditation plan that I could stick to, say, for 1 year (short term), but also any insights that could help me have a clearer "big picture" of how I should approach meditation for the many years to come (long term) will be very appreciated as well.

Edited April 3, 2018 by WellbeingSeeker

[ajasatya]

everytime you start wondering how you should meditate, just sit down and do nothing. it's that simple.

[WellbeingSeeker]

@ajasatya, could you elaborate a little more? For example, what is your take on the many meditation techniques I enumerated in my first post? Moreover, how would "doing nothing" help me develop loving-kindness and compassion?

Edited April 3, 2018 by WellbeingSeeker

[ajasatya]

by learning how to be content even when nothing is happening.

kindness, compassion, patience... all of these virtues show up when you're happy with this moment right now. when we practice "do nothing" all the reasons behind our discontentment become crystal clear.

enough talk. gonna meditate.

[WellbeingSeeker]

@ajasatya, what is the formal name of this "do nothing" meditation? Is this the only meditation technique you practice? What frequency (minutes/hours a day) would you recommend to experience palpable results in a reasonable time?

[ajasatya]

@WellbeingSeeker Zazen

5 min/day
10 min/day
15 min/day
20 min/day

pick one and do it for 6 months straight

[WellbeingSeeker]

I see, so basically you advocate Zazen meditation. That's cool. However, before blindly committing myself to this technique for 6 months, I would really appreciate a more thorough discussion of the different meditation and mind training techniques out there, so that I can make a more informed decision. I would really appreciate for other readers to join the discussion and share their thoughts. Why Zazen? Why not Kriya Yoga? Why not Vipassana? Why not [insert any other meditation / mind training technique here]?

Edited April 3, 2018 by WellbeingSeeker

[Jamie Universe]

14 minutes ago, WellbeingSeeker said:

 Why Zazen? Why not Kriya Yoga? Why not Vipassana? Why not [insert any other meditation / mind training technique here]?

I've been doing do-nothing for almost 100 days, I used to do 20 minutes then I switched to 25 minutes, so far I've noticed, I can get nearly/perfectly still, and my monkey-mind has calmed down a lot. I've also noticed I have a lot more self-control, though that could've arguably come from other sources. I've read other posts where some people notice that do-nothing combined with something like mindfulness meditation can be really powerful, but other people said otherwise, so who knows. What's good about do-nothing is that its a lot less demanding, its also considered (by Leo) more useful than regular types of meditation like sitting there and trying not to think of anything, etc. But that's also arguable. It can be done at any energy level, and if you should probably watch Leo's video on it if you want to try it out, also note that you should contemplate the instructions or you might get it wrong (which is fine it happens to a lot of people.) I can link you several videos if you want.

According to Leo's video on Kriya yoga, yoga is a lot more useful than meditation, allowing faster results, but from what I've heard it also takes longer (30-60 minutes a day I think) and also requires more effort in terms of eating, etc. If you have lots of freedom and time on your hands, you probably want to consider kriya yoga. You also need to get a book.

 

 

[Privet]

Addictions - strong determination sitting works for me. In my opinion that's how equinimity is build in a nutshell, you sit and suffer until you don't give a fuck anymore.

Disconnection from other people - that's a topic of emotional healing. You need to discover why you feel disconnected. Maybe your parents treated you in a cold manner? Maybe you believe people are gonna judge you if you open up? Maybe you have a belief that connection is something silly? Or maybe you're a little depressed all the time? In order to notice your neurotic patterns of behaviour/thinking/emotions you need to meditate on your thoughts and emotions to increase self-awareness, it can be done using vipassana technique.

Don't get trapped by the search of perfect plan, give yourself several days to study techniques and then just commit to chosen one for at least a couple of months. Most of what you've mentioned works, otherwise those technologies wouldn't be alive for several millenia, the question is what suits you best and are you willing to find out for yourself.

Don't rely on people's opinions. Learn, practice, see if it works for you, repeat. People may be wrong and give useless advice.

If you want a tangible progress say in a year that will motivate you to meditate more you're looking for like 1 hour a day practice.

 

Edited April 3, 2018 by Privet

[Space]

@WellbeingSeeker I think the main thing is just getting the habit in place. It doesn't matter so much what technique you choose first, because unless you're super lucky and the first thing you try is absolutely perfect for you, then you'll need to experiment over the coming months with various techniques to see which suits you best. This is what Leo talks about a lot. Most people end up just sticking with one technique which isn't suited to them and so they don't see many results.

You don't want to be constantly hopping from one technique to the next, but trying different techniques out is quite important in my opinion. There's a a balance that has be figured out.  Personally, if I were to recommend a technique it would be 'mindfulness with labelling' (see Leo's video on this and search for Shinzen Young on youtube), or 'do nothing' (again see Leo's video and search the forum as there has been quite a few discussions regarding this technique). Practising either of these will certainly improve your equanimity and your self-control/discipline. When it comes to developing compassion and loving kindness, i'm not sure that a traditional meditation technique like mindfulness will have much effect. Although for some people it may. I would say opening the heart chakra through yoga, psychedelics or energy transmissions is the fastest way to become more compassionate and loving.

So you want to get the habit of sitting down to meditate in place first. This is the hardest part and you'll likely face a lot of resistance unless you're a natural. A consistent 20-30 minutes a day is a good place to start. But you want to be quickly moving that up to 45 minutes, and then an hour. But consistency and the quality of the meditation is most important. 20 minutes of really focused, highly concentrated and conscious meditation is better than an hour of lazy mind wandering.

Long term, just commit to doing it every day and commit to mastering one technique when you feel it's right for you. It's also a trial and error process that you have to figure out by yourself really. 

Edited April 3, 2018 by Space

[Psyche_92]

You are making this way too complicated for yourself. Just pick a method and get going. Every morning for 20-30mins and increase time as you progress.

[WellbeingSeeker]

19 hours ago, Jamie Universe said:

What's good about do-nothing is that its a lot less demanding, its also considered (by Leo) more useful than regular types of meditation like sitting there and trying not to think of anything, etc. But that's also arguable. It can be done at any energy level, and if you should probably watch Leo's video on it if you want to try it out, also note that you should contemplate the instructions or you might get it wrong (which is fine it happens to a lot of people.) I can link you several videos if you want.

Please, feel free to share those links, they are very welcomed. By the way, according to @ajasatya the "do-nothing" technique is formally known as Zazen. I've heard of the existence of this technique for a long time but have never taken the time to understand it. So I just did a quick search and based on what I read it seems that this technique requires you to sit in the full-lotus posture with strong determination and remain aware of your breath as your anchor and let all other sensations happen in the background. Is that correct?

[robdl]

22 hours ago, WellbeingSeeker said:

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forums.

Straight to the point: I'm looking to design a meditation plan for both the short term and the long term. There are several skills I'm interested in developing. For example, there are certain addictions and bad habits I want to overcome, so I want to develop more willpower, self-control and self-discipline, and I want to develop more equanimity as well, since this is the ability to remain still and at ease in the presence of sensations, urges, cravings, which sounds like a perfect skill to master in order to overcome any addiction. Additionally, I consider myself a very cold person when it comes to bonding with other people. I just cannot feel warm-heartedness within, so I tend to rely heavily on logic and cost-benefit reasoning to handle most of my social interactions. Therefore, I'm also interested in developing social-emotional skills such as loving-kindness, compassion and sympathetic joy (here I'm clearly borrowing terms from the Buddhist lore, where they are also known as metta, karuna and mudita, respectively). Developing all of these skills already seems like quite a lot of work, so I prefer to limit the discussion to these skills for now.

If I want to develop all of these skills, how should I design a good meditation plan for both the short term and the long term? I know there is a plethora of meditation techniques out there. To name a few: Yoga, Kriya, Zazen, Vipassana, Mindfulness (of the breath, of the sounds, of the thoughts, body scans, etc.), Calm Abiding, Metta-bhavana, Karuna, Mudita, etc. There are also Positive Affirmations, "New-Age style" Guided Visualizations, Hypnosis. And much, much more .... Given this overwhelming amount of options, and given the fact that I am an average lay person with a relatively busy schedule who cannot afford trying out so many techniques randomly and expecting fair results from each one ... I would really appreciate any advice to help me design a well-thought meditation plan that I could stick to, say, for 1 year (short term), but also any insights that could help me have a clearer "big picture" of how I should approach meditation for the many years to come (long term) will be very appreciated as well.

What if the "I" to which you're referring doesn't actually exist? I'd say, just be open to that possibility as you think about the desires you want fulfilled/skills you want to develop.  Ego mind can take you down an endless road of self-improvement goals, all based on a falsely assumed sense of "I," which may only serve to propagate and reinforce ego mind.

Edited April 3, 2018 by robdl

[WellbeingSeeker]

5 minutes ago, robdl said:

What if the "I" to which you're referring doesn't actually exist? I'd say, just be open to that possibility as you think about the desires you want fulfilled/skills you want to develop.  Ego mind can take you down an endless road of self-improvement goals, all based on a falsely assumed sense of "I."

I'm certainly open to that possibility. Would you mind elaborating a bit more?

[robdl]

11 minutes ago, WellbeingSeeker said:

I'm certainly open to that possibility. Would you mind elaborating a bit more?

Your self-analysis is based on an "I"-entity that has various attributes -- logical, analytical, cold, etc.   Your goals are also based on an "I"-entity that desires various skills -- loving compassion, equanimity, etc.   So there is a seemingly permanent, continuous entity that you're referring to as "I," right?  Through meditation, this sense of "I" can drop off, and at that point, who is there to actually self-analyze or self-improve?

[WellbeingSeeker]

18 hours ago, Privet said:

Addictions - strong determination sitting works for me. In my opinion that's how equinimity is build in a nutshell, you sit and suffer until you don't give a fuck anymore.

Usually you use strong determination sitting to enhance a certain meditation technique, meaning that given a certain meditation technique X, you enhance X by doing it with strong determination sitting. Which technique do you usually practice with strong determination sitting? How often and for how long do you do it?

18 hours ago, Privet said:

Disconnection from other people - that's a topic of emotional healing. You need to discover why you feel disconnected. Maybe your parents treated you in a cold manner? Maybe you believe people are gonna judge you if you open up? Maybe you have a belief that connection is something silly? Or maybe you're a little depressed all the time? In order to notice your neurotic patterns of behaviour/thinking/emotions you need to meditate on your thoughts and emotions to increase self-awareness, it can be done using vipassana technique.

What type of Vipassana technique are you specifically referring to? For instance, I attended a Goenka's 10-day Vipassana retreat, where they teach you to observe your breath and your bodily sensations through iterative body scans (no observations of thoughts or emotions, just physical sensations). However, I did a little research and it turns out there are different types of Vipassana, check out this link: https://www.quora.com/In-meditation-what-are-the-different-types-of-Vipassana-What-are-the-big-differences-in-philosophy-or-practice/answer/Anh-Minh-Do

 

[WellbeingSeeker]

14 hours ago, Space said:

@WellbeingSeeker Personally, if I were to recommend a technique it would be 'mindfulness with labelling' (see Leo's video on this and search for Shinzen Young on youtube), or 'do nothing' (again see Leo's video and search the forum as there has been quite a few discussions regarding this technique). Practising either of these will certainly improve your equanimity and your self-control/discipline. 

Do you have any links to guided "mindfulness with labeling" meditations and guided "do nothing" meditations? I usually do better with guided meditations in which the instructor guides the process but without talking too much, like once every few minutes is fine. I don't mind if the guided meditations last more than 40 minutes, I'm Ok with that. I attended a Goenka's 10-day Vipassana retreat in which we had to meditate more than 10 hours a day so I can withstand longer sits now

14 hours ago, Space said:

When it comes to developing compassion and loving kindness, i'm not sure that a traditional meditation technique like mindfulness will have much effect. Although for some people it may. I would say opening the heart chakra through yoga, psychedelics or energy transmissions is the fastest way to become more compassionate and loving.

According to @ajasatya, "kindness, compassion, patience... all of these virtues show up when you're happy with this moment right now. when we practice "do nothing" all the reasons behind our discontentment become crystal clear", in other words, they are supposedly a natural byproduct of "do nothing". What do you @Space think about this? Besides, it would very interesting to know more about your experience using yoga, psychedelics and energy transmissions to develop love and compassion. Why do you think they are the fastest way? What about other techniques such as Metta meditation and Karuna meditation? Do you have any experience with those?

Edited April 3, 2018 by WellbeingSeeker

[WellbeingSeeker]

38 minutes ago, robdl said:

Your self-analysis is based on an "I"-entity that has various attributes -- logical, analytical, cold, etc.   Your goals are also based on an "I"-entity that desires various skills -- loving compassion, equanimity, etc.   So there is a seemingly permanent, continuous entity that you're referring to as "I," right?  Through meditation, this sense of "I" can drop off, and at that point, who is there to actually self-analyze or self-improve?

So what is your point? Are you saying that I should focus on dropping off the sense of "I" instead? If that is the case, what meditation plan would you recommend and why?

Edited April 4, 2018 by WellbeingSeeker

[Jamie Universe]

2 hours ago, WellbeingSeeker said:

So I just did a quick search and based on what I read it seems that this technique requires you to sit in the full-lotus posture with strong determination and remain aware of your breath as your anchor and let all other sensations happen in the background. Is that correct?

Based on these two videos, do-nothing (or Zazen) do-nothing is basically accepting everything in the present moment, and not controlling anything, the video below will explain the smaller details. And I personally do Zazen while laying down on my floor, whatever position your in won't really matter until you do your meditation for longer or if you fall asleep easily, yoga may be different.. but I'm not sure exactly. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ6cdIaUZCA

[Privet]

9 hours ago, WellbeingSeeker said:

Usually you use strong determination sitting to enhance a certain meditation technique, meaning that given a certain meditation technique X, you enhance X by doing it with strong determination sitting. Which technique do you usually practice with strong determination sitting? How often and for how long do you do it?

Not necessarily, the idea is to sit and face the discomfort until it doesn't bother you. Long motionless sitting alone without any technique can calm you down, AND you can use the technique as well to get even better results. I concentrated on the discomfort most of the time, I did hundreds of 1.5h sits and dozens of 3h-long over the last couple of years.

9 hours ago, WellbeingSeeker said:

What type of Vipassana technique are you specifically referring to?

Minfulness by Shinzen Young. See what the word vipassana means, it explains the whole idea. That's why I linked in my previous post to the video that explains sensory categories of sensations.

Looking for perfect plan for meditation is like asking "what clothes should I wear for the next 6 months". Basically, byproduct of practicing any legitimate technique includes all what you mentioned, and more. You just need to practice it long enough and diligent enough to make it work. Then you choose what works best from all that you made to work.

Incase you want fast results see this.

Edited April 4, 2018 by Privet