Hung Up On The Ex?

[Andy pandy]

Hey guys long story short I was with my ex for a total of 4-5 year we broke up on and off through out that whole time period some brakes were as long as 9 months even with us dating others in between we always fall back on each other. I don't know what it is about her, I know one thing we are extremely toxic to each other. The relationship got better towards the end due to how much emotional control I was gaining through learning about myself through Leo's videos.. I have been apart (broken up) with my ex for a few months and I consistently think about her trying to justify why I am not with her. I am 21 years of age and started dating her when I was 17. She's my second real relationship. I believe my first true love, I guess what I am trying to find out is what do use guys do out there to help with getting over someone? 

Ps I do 30-40 mins meditation a day witch has made the upmost biggest best impact on my life! 

[Irina Irina]

I'm trying that too. Well, honestly with ourselves. If we would have been honest, I think we would've moved on. And seeing what it is for what it is. Not more, not less. I'm struggling too with this, it's really enoying. I want to be done for good in my heart. At peace.

[Andy pandy]

Yes it does get extremely annoying! I know these things take time and I try to seperate my feelings from my mind (ego) and just be aware of the feeling itself but it can take a toll on me some days especially if I am run down after running my bios mess flat out!

[AlexB]

Same exact story here dude 5 years of this same shit 

 

[sjonesartist]

On 3/5/2016 at 11:08 AM, Andy pandy said:

Hey guys long story short I was with my ex for a total of 4-5 year we broke up on and off through out that whole time period some brakes were as long as 9 months even with us dating others in between we always fall back on each other. I don't know what it is about her, I know one thing we are extremely toxic to each other. The relationship got better towards the end due to how much emotional control I was gaining through learning about myself through Leo's videos.. I have been apart (broken up) with my ex for a few months and I consistently think about her trying to justify why I am not with her. I am 21 years of age and started dating her when I was 17. She's my second real relationship. I believe my first true love, I guess what I am trying to find out is what do use guys do out there to help with getting over someone? 

Ps I do 30-40 mins meditation a day witch has made the upmost biggest best impact on my life! 

Hey Andy, I'm in the same boat as you.  4 years, on and off, we even eloped (big mistake) in Sept, and now I'm filing for divorce.  Through all the breakups something kept bringing me back. I felt a part of me belonged with him. Couldn't pin point it... but I didn't want to be without him ...UNTIL I watched Leo's video the other day on dysfuctional relationships.  The takeaway that helped the most, was that I thought he was best for me because I didn't have other options... It was the fact that I needed to increase my options, or enlarge my social pool.  Getting out more, doing different things to meet more people. 

I know its hard... I'm going through it myself.  But I have to say, now that I'm finding more people to do things with (even though I haven't found 'the one' yet, I'm doing things with more people, making more friends and really starting to think about my ex less.  Spending time with him or in that dysfunctional relationship just isn't a priority to me now.  

I hope this helps you.  Here's a link to the video I mentioned.  

 

[Will]

dont think of anybody else as dysfunctional.. Its victim mentality.. Dont think of anybody as better than you though either..

Learn to accept all as they are.. It just is what it is.. 

If you dont like what is change yourself!! Do what is required to master what you want..

Your dysfunctional relationship will then become amazing!! Because you have done the work required to make yourself amazing!!!

If she is a lost cause she will walk away herself .. 

Always respect  people for the journey they are on and NEVER EVER Try and change them, Unless of course they ask you and they are willing to do what is required..

Do not try and fix the world ..

ITS NOT BROKEN

Only try and bring about and or create what YOU want to..

 

Aaaaaannndddd

Im out!! 

Edited March 16, 2016 by Will

[Andy pandy]

On 3/16/2016 at 6:48 PM, Will said:

dont think of anybody else as dysfunctional.. Its victim mentality.. Dont think of anybody as better than you though either..

Learn to accept all as they are.. It just is what it is.. 

If you dont like what is change yourself!! Do what is required to master what you want..

Your dysfunctional relationship will then become amazing!! Because you have done the work required to make yourself amazing!!!

If she is a lost cause she will walk away herself .. 

Always respect  people for the journey they are on and NEVER EVER Try and change them, Unless of course they ask you and they are willing to do what is required..

Do not try and fix the world ..

ITS NOT BROKEN

Only try and bring about and or create what YOU want to..

 

Aaaaaannndddd

Im out!! 

Dude this is amazing going on my old Account and looking back over and reading this... Love it 

[Will]

@Andy pandyIts a nice feeling when you see something.. but it also sobbering that you realise.. wow,, how much other shit cant i see... hahahaha..

Its pretty cool you saw this..  and thanx for reaching out for feedback..

 

[Will]

@sjonesartist Wondering how your going with this.. I just watched a vid from Earhart tolle. outlining how we like to replace that whole in our life with more stuff.. i.e. when we should probably justy deal with being comfortable with the whole.. Runs along same lines of what leo said a few weeks back about being lonely..

When you look at the whole closely the feeling of emptiness.. many ways to do this.. You realise its very similar to who we really are which is why we try to maintain and cling to our physical selves and try to keep busy.. a good example of how to see the nothingness and or the emptiness.. is.. reflect on before you where born., what did that feel like.. reflect on what you think death is like.. reflect on what it was like when something was stolen from you.. that feeling of loss or emptiness.. they all seem to be earilly similar..

I think something you said about getting bussier and meeting new and more wider experiences is great on one respect as long as you at the same time deal with and face the issue of emptiness..

 

what do you think??

[pluto]

Soul mates can never be at peace in a fucked up society unless both perfectly aligned at the same vibratory frequency which is even more challenging if they do not actually let go of everything else 100% to focus on them and works things out one step at a time. Its even harder if one is actualized the the other is not.

 

[Will]

@pluto Never is a long time..

society is only fucked up in your version..

why is alignment important..? there is the possibility that a person can be soooo unconditional and soo apreciative of the complexity and beauty of life that the other persons state is irrelevant.. i.e. buddha ect...

Relatonships may not be totally reliant on the other.. there are cases where the individual has the training required to accept the other for what they are.. and in fact that could be the source of boundless beauty..

remember how we expect others to act is our shit not theres..

Your internal state can be interdependant of the others.. most people dont know what that means or how to really do that though..

[pluto]

9 hours ago, Will said:

@pluto Never is a long time..

society is only fucked up in your version..

why is alignment important..? there is the possibility that a person can be soooo unconditional and soo apreciative of the complexity and beauty of life that the other persons state is irrelevant.. i.e. buddha ect...

Relatonships may not be totally reliant on the other.. there are cases where the individual has the training required to accept the other for what they are.. and in fact that could be the source of boundless beauty..

remember how we expect others to act is our shit not theres..

Your internal state can be interdependant of the others.. most people dont know what that means or how to really do that though..

I'm always at peace with myself until i sacrifice my enlightenment to help others. Where i live its currently near-impossible to remain in those states.

Its like we are universally attacked for continuously trying to help others and do right. If you had the situations in life i had to go through and deal with you wouldn't be here at all telling me this. I'm dealing with universal trickery, how can i not love whats part of me yet whats part of me only tends to express that same love when its in that special mood.

Its like the world we live in is specifically programmed unconsciously to attack those who try to spread and express love and light and love and protect those who are doing the opposite. The whole globe is under psychic yet genius mind control system and frequencies with alien technology.

No meditation or any diet/lifestyle changes seems to cure it but merely prevent. The only option is going and being a Hermit living in the wild away from society with animals but when i do that i wanna come back and help the rest but i tend to get tricked into helping then give them the power to destroy me which i cannot seem to figure why.

 

Oh nevermind.. i should never type when i am my lowest i apologize. I need to find my balance again, take care.

Edited June 17, 2017 by pluto

[Will]

10 hours ago, pluto said:

sacrifice my enlightenment to help others

Im not sure about that.. If you where constantly in a state of enlightenment you would only help others cos you "chose to",, not because you felt you had to..?? I would have thought seeing the world playing out its silly games would be a way of becoming even more intensely aware of the game.??

 

10 hours ago, pluto said:

trying to help others and do right

Try?? is trying even possible?? We either do or do not.. (sorry for the yoda quote but he was pretty bang on..)

Do right? what the hell is right?? sounds like your pretending you know something. do any of us truly know anything except the illusion we find ourselves in??

10 hours ago, pluto said:

Its like the world we live in is specifically programmed unconsciously to attack those who try to spread and express love and light and love and protect those who are doing the opposite

I feel like that allot, but after a while when things go my way I feel good again.. shit happens. its our brain and ego which label it as forces of good and evil.. Seriously.. shit just happens both ways.. im sure there times in your life when things have just gone well..

 

10 hours ago, pluto said:

No meditation or any diet/lifestyle changes seems to cure it but merely prevent. The only option is going and being a Hermit living in the wild away from society with animals but when i do that i wanna come back and help the rest but i tend to get tricked into helping then give them the power to destroy me which i cannot seem to figure why.

Theres really millions of ways to dig around the depths of who we are.. I dont think you need to through the baby out with the bath water..

It could be we know nothing, cant know where we are going, so a sense of calm and acceptance comes over if you just accept.. whats the point of labelling something good or bad evil or wrong??

your next thought might be,,,,, What now.... Well what ever the hell you like.. Go consciously accepting your not going anywhere and how amazing the possibility of not knowing is.. things become .... i dont know more magical...

10 hours ago, pluto said:

 

Oh nevermind.. i should never type when i am my lowest i apologize. I need to find my balance again, take care.

No need to apologise.. its exactly in this moment that you are closest to just letting go.. hahaha no actualisation or meditation required.