How to handle emotions from ended relationship

[spicy_pickles]

So, my long-term relationship has ended. 

It is clear that he is not respecting any boundaries during this time either, as he will not quit attempting to contact me, even after saying stop. 

The problem is, it has been such a rollercoaster ride. I won’t go into the details. I knew I was over it a long time ago, but I thought, I’ll give it my all and try everything. It got to the point where I was exhausted and chipped away from every fight, every silent treatment, every suggestion of “working it out”. 

There are times when I feel empowered and think of all the shit, all the hurt, etc. Then I feel sad because I hurt him and don’t want to call him. Then I feel anxious in anticipation of him doing something. I have been a mess the last few days and I can’t see any end in sight. 

I feel as though I didn’t end it right (I should have flat out said this is over as opposed to leaving).  My therapist said I do not owe him anything and I don’t have to say anything further if I don’t want to.  

This is so foreign to me for many reasons.  The first is because I finally set boundaries and said - no.  Even though it hurts, I feel bad, but I know I was not happy.  

 

[Crazy_Monkey_Brain]

You can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something. Your gut, destiny, karma whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leaves you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference. Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma which is living by the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the voices of others drown out your own inner voice. You got to find what you love and that is as true for work as it is for lovers, if you haven't found it yet keeping looking and don't settle, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. As they already know what you want.

 

[deci belle]

hi Spicy~ this is the wonderful place… what to do (or not) isn't it.

Ya, this is what it is. I will speak in terms of spiritual alchemy.

What is it? It's not thinking. It's not denying. It's not knowing.

This whole is a ball you have the potential to deal with on an abstract level, if you are able.

This is a tremdous opportunity.

Without thinking, denying or knowing, can you seal it up void of intellectualism? Seal it up simply by not dwelling, yet not denying.

You can do this because you already know without entertaining any ruminating deliberation that can only waste the exquisite potential.

There is a quality of suspension able to supersede the evo/devolution you are on the cusp of by having broken open the potential of the situation.

There is a tremendous potential available to secrete away in terms what is called non-psychological abstraction.

Your partner intuitively knows (as do us all) the nature of this potential— you can steal it. This the real (the potential).

You aren't really "stealing" anything as it is already you. Can you seal it away void of intellectualism to "incubate" it until it purifies naturally in the "empty vessel" of your immaterial body of awareness that has no location?

This energy can help you evolve inconceivably if you can avoid intellectualizing the multifarious aspects of the maelstrom in terms of particulars.

It is possible. It is natural. It is inconceivable. It develops all by itself naturally. You don't have to do anything.

The hard part is just that.

The key is to be humble and truly grateful, open and sincere about nothing in particular, other than the goodness of your life as is.

This situation is like a huge spotlight putting everything in silhouette with extreme contrasts.

The wonderful place is on the verge of going into action in perpetuity.

Lucky you❤︎

[Frylock]

The only way to handle negative emotions is to accept them. Emotions are a physical sensation in the body. Shine your light of awareness on the physical sensation. Don't judge it or put a label on it, just be with it. This is how you process emotion in a non-toxic way. You'll never get rid of negative emotions, as they're part of being human. 

This is a trick I recently learned. I haven't found a better way of dealing with something like, say, a breakup.

[Star Net]

Hi,@spicy_pickles

First : The informations that You are providing here is not enough for any one to give a suggestion, I am serious ...

I wish You and Him a good life, together or seperate ...