Is this normal?

[BestSelf]

Hey guys,

 

So I have been into the whole realm of personal development for years now, but really didn't start taking hardcore action on it till over a month ago.  Before then I would dabble with different techniques here and there, but would never really stick with anything for long enough to make any real impact.

So a little over a month ago I got to the point where I was just fed up and tired with the way i felt. It was time to man up and do something about it. 

 

So i started actually implementing leos advice, cut out addictions like alcohol, cut out Netflix, cut way down on social media and phone time. Have been meditating  for 30-60 minutes every day, watching videos on theory and taking notes, ordered a bunch of books on leos book list and started reading one, have been working more towards my life purpose, and have just all around been getting shit done and checking all my daily goals off the to do list. 

 

After about a week in of doing all this I got into this more relaxed in the moment state where things were just flowing. I could better express myself and my thoughts(Normally have trouble doing as i tend to overthink and am stuck in my head making self judgement) After a few days of this new state however I thought to myself "Holy shit I have really changed fast" and then all of a sudden anxiety and fear started to sink in and I lost this  state. I have kept up with all of these habits but never got back to this state. Now I am closer to the same as I was before I started all these new habits, perhaps slightly more relaxed and in the moment at times,but nothing near what i was after that first week in. Still mostly anxious and in my head. Sometimes its even seemed WORSE as of late.

 

Now im questioning if what I am doing is working, wondering if i am meditating right or in the moment or not in day to day life. I just watched leo's be fucking patient video which helped put things into perspective however.  I now realize this process is going to take a Whole lot more time and effort than I originally expected. I also realize that things can get worse before they get better. 

Im just kind of wondering what was the deal with that first week in? Was that state a fluke? Can I get back there in the not too distant future or will it take awhile? I mean its not like I was enlightened and everything was perfect or anything, but compared to my normal state it was definitely a noticeable improvement.

[Moreira]

You say that when you realize how much progess you have done anxiety starts. Its like fear of success but in self-development field. Maybe with the idea that Self-actualization and enlightenment is a very hard work that requires tons of time and dedication, you self sabotage thinking you are not ready yet or still doesnt deserve so much progress.

Dismiss your beliefs that progress has to be hard and take time.

Edited March 30, 2018 by Moreira

[BestSelf]

@Moreira Well actually I really wasn't under that impression until I just watched leos video yesterday. I think rather than having the belief that change is hard and takes time the fear of change and going into the unknown is what pulled me out of my improved state of mind.

[Jamie Universe]

your expectations for enlightenment should be, that you'll work so hard that it will kill you, and whether or not that's actually truthful, it will make you more prepared for any hard tasks.

 

[aurum]

@BestSelf

Very normal, expect that your progress is going to always fluctuate. Keep up the good work.

[BestSelf]

@Jamie Universe I could see how that mindset would be extremely beneficial.

@aurum Thanks man!

Edited March 31, 2018 by BestSelf