Self Enquiry

[Davekay]

A couple of times now during sitting doing self enquiry,I'm guessing the ego defense mechanism has kicked in and made it come to an end.the feeling of that I really don't know who I am really starts to be a possibility and it feels like my awareness is really expanding then that stupid voice comes in with shit like what if you turn out to be some nutcase murderer or something along them lines.really throws me off track.should I just sit through it and see where it goes?starts to make me panic a bit.

[Henri]

You dis-identified your awareness with the ordinary daily thoughts and you have experienced a little relief and peace.

After this more subtle thoughts try to enter your awareness. The process is the same, just dis-identify the thoughts again. These are just thoughts, like a movie you watch, just let it go and do not dive into it. These are tricks the mind plays. With a bit more experience you`ll laugh about it.

[werlight]

4 hours ago, Davekay said:

A couple of times now during sitting doing self enquiry,I'm guessing the ego defense mechanism has kicked in and made it come to an end.the feeling of that I really don't know who I am really starts to be a possibility and it feels like my awareness is really expanding then that stupid voice comes in with shit like what if you turn out to be some nutcase murderer or something along them lines.really throws me off track.should I just sit through it and see where it goes?starts to make me panic a bit.

@Davekay 

Some advice. First, Enlightenment is not about dissolving or rejecting the ego. Your Ego is not your enemy. It is part of who you are.

Second, You dont have to meditate more than 20-30 minutes.  Short periods of time is fine but try to do it everyday.

Third, Meditate with music and focus on the music.

[Davekay]

Yeah but the true me is not a thought.I understand I am aware of thoughts so why when it comes to that fact becoming so solid does the panic set in

 

[Davekay]

Am I on the right track with this.trying to see through the illusion that I am not really only a thought.why does when coming so close to realizing this does the thoughts go crazy..like I should be stopping what I'm doing