Dramatic mood swings after vipassana retreat

[ADD]

Hi!

I was on 2 day vipassana retreat last weekend and i'm now facing dramatic mood swings from unexplainable happiness and excitement to the FUCKING deepest anxiety, depression and fear. It was my first retreat. Is this normal, and suggestions how to get through it?

[Rilles]

accept it.

[Nahm]

@ADD Breathe is God’s little seat belt for you. Buckle up. This is worth getting through. Don’t beat up on yourself. ❤️

[abrakamowse]

@ADD That's the ego going crazy because he know he's under death threat. 

The best solution (at least it helped me a lot) is mindfulness. Be mindful of the thoughts, they are not you.

Ask anytime a weird thought arises, who is the thinker of that thought? It will disappear.

Know that you are not those thoughts.

[Prabhaker]

@ADD

Osho on need of catharsis before Vipassana

“Cathartic methods are modern inventions. In Buddha’s time they were not needed because people were not so repressed. People were natural, people lived primitive lives—uncivilised, spontaneous lives. So Vipassana---vipassana means insight—was given by Buddha directly to people.

But now you cannot go into Vipassana directly. And the teachers who go on teaching Vipassana directly don’t belong to this century; they are two thousand years backward. Yes, sometimes they may help one or two persons out of one hundred persons, but that can’t do much.

I am introducing cathartic methods, so that first what the civilization has done to you can be undone, so you can become primitive again. From that primitiveness, from primal innocence, insight becomes easily available.”

Osho~I Say Unto You, Vol. 2

 

“In Buddha’s time, dynamic methods of meditation were not needed. People were more simple, more authentic. They lived a more real life. Now, people are living a very repressed life, a very unreal life. When they don’t want to smile, they smile. When they want to be angry, they show compassion. People are false, the whole life pattern is false. People are just acting, not living. Many incomplete experiences go on being collected,
piled up inside their minds.”

“Just sitting directly in silence won’t help. The moment you will sit silently, you will see all sorts of things moving inside you; you will feel it almost impossible to be silent. First throw those things out so you come to a natural state of rest. Real meditation starts only when you are at rest.”

OSHO
The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol. 2, Discourse 5

[ADD]

Thank you guys! It was 2 day retreat. It feels like i felt great relief and joy, then suddenly the anxiety and fear hit me back to give me hell. I feel i just needed to share this with you guys, as i feel quite lonely with no one to talk to about my meditation practice. I appriciate your support.

[PsiloPutty]

I agree that it sounds like your Ego is pouting and throwing a fit because you were mean to it over the weekend.    

[PsiloPutty]

How was the retreat itself, though? What struck you as the most difficult aspects?

 

[ADD]

27 minutes ago, PsiloPutty said:

How was the retreat itself, though? What struck you as the most difficult aspects?

 

Great, i had pain in my back and neck while sitting. That was the biggest disturbance, wasn't enjoyable but i managed to accept and surrender to the pain. The other factor was that i felt bit nervous meditating surrounded by random people, but i managed to overcome that quite well on day 2. The walking meditation was new for me aswell so at first it felt useless but i gradually got a hang of it. After day 1 i had random bursts of laughter in the evening. Great experience overall.

[PsiloPutty]

Good deal. I have a 7-day retreat scheduled for May, and I've never been on a med retreat before. Thanks for filling me in, man. 

[Leo Gura]

@ADD Yes, normal. That's how you know it is working.

See my vid: The Dark Side Of Meditation

[Dovahkiin]

@ADD Great job jumping into a retreat! I can relate, having finished a Goenke vipassana retreat two weeks ago.

 

Try to treat what is happening to you now, after the retreat, as you learned to be with the happenings of your experience during the retreat. Just because you're not sitting doesn't mean you can't be meditative and use the experiences happening now to grow.

 

So, try your best to be equanimous toward what's happening, including these mood swings. Since being equanimous toward your own mental chatter and story is hard, just focus first on being equanimous toward the associated sensations, i.e. rather than saying "okay, I'm going to be with this dark emotional state with equanimity," just notice the physical sensations that are ACTUALLY happening that are spurring your mind to call it anxiety and fear, and try and be equanimous toward those sensations. In addition to working to let go of aversion to the anxiety / fear, let go of any craving that exists for the happiness, laughter, etc which you've also experienced.

 

Congrats on doing this and continuing it going forward!

[Guest Quanty]

Welcome my padawan, the narrow gate awaits for you  Prepare to die! (egodeath)

 

Namaste, Mfks!