Mind Click?

[Bart]

I had a very strange thing happen to me few days ago.

Let me explain the situation and what happened.

Me and my girlfriend broke up in the first week of January. I was really heart broken because of that.

She was my first real love and we have had a relationship in the past (19 years ago for 2 years) and we came across each others paths during both our divorces. This time we again were 2 years together and she broke up with me cause she wanted to dedicate herself to her artistic life. The love did not end but she thinks she should do this. This really tore my heart in half. I was really heart broken and felt both emotional and physical pain during this time.

Anyway 2 days ago she came by at my workplace to pickup her van. It was in my storage and we had a conversation about "us" or what's left of it. At some point during that conversation she starts talking about how she sees herself in a few years and so on. At that point I felt my awareness go up like 1000% for no apparent reason. Just there was this sudden awareness. I don't know what triggered it but it just happened.

Anyway after she left I went home and I was sitting in my car waiting for the light to turn green and all of the sudden everything fell into place. It wasn't in my mind but more internal as in ME. Everything came together and it is all ok.

After that I went to the gym to work out and had a moment of sorrow about losing her(tears in my eyes) and again there was this click. And the sorrow was gone. I went home and felt really good on a deeper level.

As I woke up next day everything seems ok. I still miss her a bit but now it is all fine, I don't feel any sorrow or sadness anymore. Next day I even felt geniuanly happy for first in 2 months.

I went from an emotional wreck to a balanced mindset in just a click. I don't know how it is possible but it just happened.

Any thought what this could have been.

 

[cetus]

Leo's work? and yours of course.

[Guivs]

Seeds get planted and cared for with enough water. Then all of a sudden, they blossom, with no apparent reason:) 

Keep at it, and do not get too attached to being blissful either, this is transient too

Have a good day!

[Henri]

So my friend, you have had a profound experience that looks a lot like mine some years ago. I`ll try to give my explanation and you can see if it makes any sense to you.

First I can sense from your post that the love you have for your girlfriend is real love and not just an emotional and physical one. After the break up you were really heart broken and in pain. True love comes from the heart as they say and when the loved one is away the real problem here is not that the loved one is gone; the real problem is that you lost the ability to express your love. That is important to understand.

From there the big longing for the beloved one is happening. The big longing for expressing your deep love. This is in no way different as the bhakti-yogi does, only he does it mostly by longing for a Guru or longing for a deity or for a concept of God. The essence is exactly the same.

She came back for her car and you experienced her drive for her well being the next years and in a way she was more living in her mind than in her heart. Your longing for her was a dead end street and the love you wanted to express was in fact a lie. It became impossible for your heart, your love, your longing to express itself towards her. This awareness, this realization, makes that your `love-power` has to take a different direction, and that direction is always inward. You may call this divine grace as the bhakti-yogi does or transforming and re-directing the heart-chakra as the raja-yogi does, it is all the same. And so you experienced a form of enlightenment (do not confuse it with total enlightenment off course) that in a way evolved you a bit and made you capable to move on and deal with your life-experiences. 

You are the lucky one my friend, it is a rare happening now a days.

One suggestion I do like to make; All the experiences we deal with in life, we have to interpret them. This interpretation we can only do according to our knowledge. In that way to deal with all the possible events in life it is important to gain more knowledge, otherwise there is always the danger of misinterpretation. 

Blessings

 

[Bart]

@Henri Thank you. This actually makes sense. Thanks for your explanation.