Would mushrooms be a bad idea in my situation?

[DMM710]

I’ve had social anxiety since around high school. It was pretty bad up until about 2-3 years ago. It’s gotten gradually better, but I feel like I’ve stopped progressing much. It’s not like crippling to the point where I can’t leave my house. I’m a server at a restaurant, I can go in public places and stuff but very often I get stuck in my head and feel anxious as shit around people. I’ve been meditating 40-60 minutes per day for about 3 weeks, and spend almost all my free time watching Leo’s videos/other Enlightened people (ordered some books on amazon too, don’t wanna just watch videos) but yea, I’m fucking determined to get rid of the ego, and have peace. He thing is, I kinda have a history of smoking weed, like a lot. I was definitely addicted to smoking for years, every day.. multiple times a day.  Should I just continue to meditate, and start self inquiry or should I try some mushrooms to help speed up the process? Anyone with anxiety issues have any experiences with mushrooms?

[LiakosN]

I've had severe anxiety in the past (a lot of headaches, stuttering, social phobia, insomnia etc) until I had some mushrooms lately. Man this shit is so powerful it can throw anxiety away in a couple of hours. Just start small dosing. I recommend <2 grams. 

Because of your anxiety you will probably experience a lot of fear coming up into the surface. Just be open to the experience, either "good" or "bad".

[DMM710]

I’m totally open to what ever happens. I feel like I’ve gotten a pretty good grasp of how thought works at this point. I’ve watched and rewatched easily over 100 hours of Leo’s videos, I have one note with tons of notes and insights I’ve gotten from them. I’ve proven to myself that beliefs are a load of shit, I’ve been able to stop my neurotic thinking in certain parts of myself that have been fucking with me for as long as I can remember. But I still have a hard time abandoning false thoughts and beliefs when I’m actually in social situations. In fact I don’t even see the thoughts like I do when I’m alone, they just unconsciously roll in the background and make me super uncomfortable and over critical of myself. How did they actually help with your anxiety? Like what insights did you take away from your trip? 

[SgtPepper]

I see therapy for anxiety and I have taken mushrooms with no issues. In my experience, anxiety pretty much goes away on trips because I become very present and aware of the flaw in perceiving the world through thoughts alone. I am much more in my body, so i am more aware of how I am feeling and able to regulate it better as well.

Group therapy would help with your social anxiety because it will help you practice conversing with people and see that you're not alone with facing social anxiety.

I do believe mushrooms can help a lot with anxiety, but its ultimately up to you to decide if you want to trip. You can meditate and self-inquire on the trip about your anxiety and it will show you answers.

[DMM710]

12 minutes ago, SgtPepper said:

I see therapy for anxiety and I have taken mushrooms with no issues. In my experience, anxiety pretty much goes away on trips because I become very present and aware of the flaw in perceiving the world through thoughts alone. I am much more in my body, so i am more aware of how I am feeling and able to regulate it better as well.

Group therapy would help with your social anxiety because it will help you practice conversing with people and see that you're not alone with facing social anxiety.

I do believe mushrooms can help a lot with anxiety, but its ultimately up to you to decide if you want to trip. You can meditate and self-inquire on the trip about your anxiety and it will show you answers.

The thing is I’m actually really good at conversing with people at my core. My issue is consistency. Sometimes I’m like buttery smooth, and can talk to people effortlessly. And other times I’m like totally awkward as shit. When I’m in that buttery smooth state I notice I’m not in my head at all. But it’s very difficult to enter that state when my anxious thinking builds momentum. Another thing I noticed is that I’ll be quite anxious when I first get to work, around my co workers and my tables. After 2-3 hours I’ll almost always start feeling effortless and not self critical at all. I wish I could like, warm up to that point at home, without actually having to feel super uncomfortable for a couple hours.  Also, group therapy can be counter productive for social anxiety because it’s a lot of people sharing negative experiences and thinking patterns that just reinforce your own negative thinking. I was in therapy for years, the neurosis/morality videos alone helped with my own suffering 1000x more than therapy ever did. 

Edited March 24, 2018 by DMM710
Typo

[Viking]

@LiakosN @SgtPepper i have the same thing more or less but i want to take lsd, is it also recommended you think?

[SgtPepper]

1 hour ago, DMM710 said:

The thing is I’m actually really good at conversing with people at my core. My issue is consistency. Sometimes I’m like buttery smooth, and can talk to people effortlessly. And other times I’m like totally awkward as shit. When I’m in that buttery smooth state I notice I’m not in my head at all. But it’s very difficult to enter that state when my anxious thinking builds momentum. Another thing I noticed is that I’ll be quite anxious when I first get to work, around my co workers and my tables. After 2-3 hours I’ll almost always start feeling effortless and not self critical at all. I wish I could like, warm up to that point at home, without actually having to feel super uncomfortable for a couple hours.  Also, group therapy can be counter productive for social anxiety because it’s a lot of people sharing negative experiences and thinking patterns that just reinforce your own negative thinking. I was in therapy for years, the neurosis/morality videos alone helped with my own suffering 1000x more than therapy ever did. 

right, you're gonna have to just accept that about yourself and work towards feeling comfortable with yourself, it'll probably take years, but do not lose hope.

If you don't have a good therapist it can be counter productive. I have found therapy to be extremely helpful as well as Leos videos, meditation, and my psychedelic trips. 

[SgtPepper]

5 minutes ago, Viking said:

@LiakosN @SgtPepper i have the same thing more or less but i want to take lsd, is it also recommended you think?

LSD-25 is great and I recommend it. Of course make sure you obtain it from a trusted source or test whatever you get to make sure it is LSD-25 or any other safe variation.

In my experience LSD is just as effective as mushrooms, but they are different in a subtle way. It has a different flavor, comes on differently, and the duration of the trip appears to have its own unique healing effect. Still as psychedelic and mind bending as mushrooms.

[Charlotte]

Out of interest has anybody ever had a 'bad trip'?

[SgtPepper]

32 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

Out of interest has anybody ever had a 'bad trip'?

Yes people in general have definitely had bad trips before even experienced users. This is why its critical to be responsible with this stuff. Set and setting is important as well as being aware of dosage.

In my experience I have tripped more than 10 times with all kinds of circumstances (with friends, by myself, indoors, and outdoor) and with various dosages (low to high) for recreational and healing/spiritual purposes. I have never had a bad trip or even gotten close to one. I have had difficult moments, uncomfortable thoughts, confusion, uncertainty, feelings of fear, but I have also had the complete opposite positive experiences within the same trip. The feelings one has is a reflection of oneself.

At the end of the day though, issues like chronic anxiety and depression can be helped by understanding how one mind's maintains that attitude. Psychedelics in my experience can absolute help with this. Afterwards, its helpful to write down what answers one got through the trip and make effort to embody them on a daily basis.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Charlotte said:

Out of interest has anybody ever had a 'bad trip'?

Yes.

They are no joke.

They are inevitable I believe. Get very good at surrendering.

[Charlotte]

@SgtPepper Thanks for your response. 

@Leo Gura Can you provide me with a bit more detail of your 'bad trip's'? (Out of curiousity) 

I'm genuinely contemplating doing psychedelics (I done mushrooms when I was 15 and it was the most profound experience of my life).

[Elephant]

Have you tried microdosing? 

I don’t think you are at the point where you should self-inquiry. You need to build a stronger self-structure first. I don’t think you should meditate either. 

Eat more healthy and do yoga instead:)

Edited March 24, 2018 by Elephant

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Charlotte said:

Can you provide me with a bit more detail of your 'bad trip's'? (Out of curiousity)

I've experienced insanity from which there seemed to be no return.

I've experienced not even remembering that I was born.

When all of reality collapses in around you, there's nothing left to anchor yourself with. You cannot reassure yourself, "It's okay, this is just a head trip, it will be over soon." because at that level, there is no reality to return to, and no head or trip.

[Nexeternity]

@Charlotte  One trip I got lost in the laberynth of my mind.  Just negative thought loops reinforcing each other faster and faster and it seems like it will never end.  You feel insane for good.

Another trip I felt my body disintegrated like infinity was tearing me up into all directions and all I could think was "Shit, I messed up.  Shouldnt have done this.  I am gone for good now."

Time gets distorted so much that it feels like your stuck somewhere forever sometimes.

But Ive always felt good on the other side.  A good shaman helps. 

[DMM710]

3 hours ago, Elephant said:

 

Edited March 25, 2018 by DMM710

[Elephant]

43 minutes ago, DMM710 said:

I'm confused. I've spent the last couple years trying to convince myself that my self image and ego don't exist. Like not even just sitting down and watching a video or dedicating time to it. On my free time I've spent many many many many hours thinking about this. Before I started all this I had an incredibly strong sense of self. I was completely sure I knew who and what I was. At this point I really don't even know who I am or what I am. I've tried meditating a couple times in my life, but it was quite painful and I didn't stick with it. a couple weeks ago I tried the mindfulness meditation which made me realize that I spend my entire life looking into the future or the past. The first couple sessions felt so good that I started trying to aim for 40-60 minutes hoping to get faster results. Before starting this I used to have some kind of TV or what ever playing in the background at all times. Since I started meditating I stopped turning to distractions when I'm by myself. I'm perfectly fine sitting in complete silence or doing other activities with nothing going on in the background.  I've only been meditating for less than a month, I feel like it's the freakin golden key to my problems.  I'm open to what you suggest, but both things seem counter productive.... Meditation is the reason I'm so determined to get out of the hole i'm in. I felt a shift in myself the first couple times I did it. It's the only thing I've done that makes me feel like I have traction. And I do eat well. I don't eat any processed foods, I only buy organic and stick to a diet my nutritionist made 5-6 months ago.

I don’t know you so I can just give advice, if meditation works for you, keep doing it. I feel like meditation and self inquiry can be the worst and most subtle distraction you can have because It can create a deception of high consciousness and the ego will use that for its own good.

All this high consciosness talk can be so dam silly. All this talk about that nothing will make you happy and only ”being” will... Yes, that might be true when you go full cirkle or have dedicated your whole life to meditation and self-inquiry and that’s all you do. But if not, healthy relationships are a way more easy and direct way of getting higher consciousness, and it will make you happier. 

I don’t have any definate answer. Self inquiry to some extend can be healthy for everybody I think. You just gotta be really honest with yourself and see what’s working for you, and since you have social anxiety, you should probably change strategy.

[Elephant]

Btw, what food do your doctor recommend?

Edited March 25, 2018 by Elephant

[DMM710]

1 hour ago, Elephant said:

I don’t know you so I can just give advice, if meditation works for you, keep doing it. I feel like meditation and self inquiry can be the worst and most subtle distraction you can have because It can create a deception of high consciousness and the ego will use that for its own good.

All this high consciosness talk can be so dam silly. All this talk about that nothing will make you happy and only ”being” will... Yes, that might be true when you go full cirkle or have dedicated your whole life to meditation and self-inquiry and that’s all you do. But if not, healthy relationships are a way more easy and direct way of getting higher consciousness, and it will make you happier. 

I don’t have any definate answer. Self inquiry to some extend can be healthy for everybody I think. You just gotta be really honest with yourself and see what’s working for you, and since you have social anxiety, you should probably change strategy.

I actually wasn't familiar at all with real yoga, after I replied I looked at his video. A couple minutes In I was like "oh shit, I actually have no idea what this is about" so I tried deleting my comment. I was like yessss this sounds so promising, then I found out I would have to buy the book list + the book (which isn't cheap if it's the one I think it is) But I don't know for sure, and that's a pretty big investment for just wanting to check it out. I understand though, he's gotta make a living. I'm grateful for all the free content and stuff, it's been very helpful for me. But yea, i'm kinda broke right now. I just started meditating, maybe after a couple months and a mushroom trip I'll gain more momentum. But yea.. I'm trying to change strategy dude.  That's why I started meditating, that's why I'm considering mushrooms, that's why I went to that nutritionist, that's why I watch all these videos and stuff.. I'm looking for that strategy or combination of strategies that I can really put my focus into so I can see results. That's the problem, if there was like a step by step manual for over coming my problem I would put in as much time as it takes, I just can't figure out what things I should be putting my effort into. And she put me on a low arginine/modified vegan diet. Apparently this was that best diet for me based my blood type and a saliva swab she took. I lost 65 lbs since I started doing it, but I could definitely clean it up a bit.

Edited March 25, 2018 by DMM710

[Elephant]

1 hour ago, Elephant said:

I don’t know you so I can just give advice, if meditation works for you, keep doing it. I feel like meditation and self inquiry can be the worst and most subtle distraction you can have because It can create a deception of high consciousness and the ego will use that for its own good.

All this high consciosness talk can be so dam silly. All this talk about that nothing will make you happy and only ”being” will... Yes, that might be true when you go full cirkle or have dedicated your whole life to meditation and self-inquiry and that’s all you do. But if not, healthy relationships are a way more easy and direct way of getting higher consciousness, and it will make you happier. 

I don’t have any definate answers. Self inquiry to some extend can be healthy for everybody I think. You just gotta be really honest with yourself and see what’s working for you, and since you have social anxiety, you should probably change strategy.