Social Anxiety

[KenDo]

Hi, I have severe social anxiety and find it difficult to be around other people. I always feel like I can't be myself and I just feel stressed out and tense when I am with other people. I want to know if anyone else has had this and what has helped them. Any tips and tricks are welcome. thanks

[Nahm]

@KenDo This is over active thinking due to identification with thought. Meditation, every morning, and again in the afternoon helps to experience the ‘space’ between the awareness that you are, and the thinking. God is much more easily fooled than you imagine. Self inquire. Be aware of the thoughts and the processes / cycles running. Observe them. Detach from them. 

Here’s some resources. Godspeed! You Kendo it. 

Consider giving this movie a watch:

The discovery of the territory is on you. But a map, we have. 

[Gabriel Antonio]

one strategy that really helps me is to accentuate the negative inner dialogue while it's happening, instead of trying to get rid of it. 

for example, you're in a party and you're very self-conscious and "negative" thoughts starts popping up... let them go wild! 

"Oh... everybody must be looking at me." >> Typical thought of a social anxiety person 

Then... logic creeps in as an attempt to help: "No.. this is not true... everybody has their own problems..." 

However, instead of letting logic corrupt your experience, consciously accentuate the negative inner dialogue, so it would be something like this: 
"Omg! I am sure they are all looking at me... omg... i only make mistakes... omg... i am gonna freak out... this is gonna kill me.. omg look at that girl she must be thinking i am so ridiculous... why did I go to this place?? i fucking hate myself... what a fucking tragedy..." 

You continue with that conscious negative thinking until you magically go full-circle and you get very peaceful... but the thing is, you gotta allow yourself to think the most outrageous things.. lots of ppl have a program in their mind that says: be positive... but has that EVER worked? you're in the middle of a social situation and your self-worth is close to 0. you start telling nice things about yourself to your own self. Well, to me that only makes matters worse. 

what about this counterintuitive alternative? could you give it a try and see if it works? 

cheers! 

(i learned this technique will till from comfortzonecrusher) 

Edited March 26, 2018 by Gabriel Antonio

[Elisabeth]

Teal Swan has many good videos on authenticity and relationship dynamics. She's a bit out there with the law of attraction and stuff, but on relationships, you could get some unique insights from her. 

[nick96]

@KenDo

Pay attention to the sensations in your body and begins observing your thoughts.

Tell the truth about your emotions , what you fear , what you are angry and sad about.

The reason you have social anxiety is because you are lying, you are trying to be somebody else that you are not, you are trying to fulfill the expectations you imagine other people have from you.

Begin doing physical practices such as yoga, bioenergetics and others to release repressed emotions. 

If you want to do the work fast go on a yoga or vipassana meditation retreat. 

I had severe social anxiety too and have overcome it.

Good luck. 

 

[Nahm]

@Elisabeth Circle back on that loa. It’s not out there, it’s in there. Lol. It’s like hay in a haystack. ❤️ In the sense, the teller (Teal) to you of loa, is a millionaire (or well on her way), happy, wise, fulfilled, and can travel the world without a care. Perhaps there is more to what she is communicating.

[moon777light]

11 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Elisabeth Circle back on that loa. It’s not out there, it’s in there. Lol. It’s like hay in a haystack. ❤️ In the sense, the teller (Teal) to you of loa, is a millionaire (or well on her way), happy, wise, fulfilled, and can travel the world without a care. Perhaps there is more to what she is communicating.

What do you mean, is the stuff she says bad? 

[Nahm]

@moon777light Teal? Doesn’t seem bad to me. Honestly, though, I don’t listen to her much. I was meaning more, that often, not always, what is ‘out there’ to someone might just unlock a whole new reality, or life, or experiences, depending on meanings. My comment was more about loa, not Teal. 

[Erlend K]

Be very careful to avoid spiritual bypassing. Social anxiety is usually a mental issue, not a spiritual one.

You overcome social anxiety through progressive exposure to social situations. Slowly habituate yourself to taking small social risks, feel the anxiety and learn to tolerate it, thereby reducing your anticipotary anxiety of anxiety. If you are not currently working with a therapist I would advice you to seek out one who specialize in social anxiety, who can help you develop your plans for social exposure, and support you through the hard, painful work that lies ahead of you.

There are certain methods that can reduce the magnitude of your symptoms, thereby making the process less painful, and speed up the progression of exposure. The main one is physical excercise. In particular heavy weightlifing like 5x5 deadlift, squats, bench, militarypress etc. These reduce cortisone levels and boost testosterone and endorphines, making you feel a bit more at ease. Other methods like progressive muscle relaxation, and to some degree meditation and yoga can help reduce cortisone levels and help to reduce your resitance to the emotions.