Trouble with allowing/not reacting to thoughts in meditation and life

[Canvas234]

Hi everyone,

 

I’ve been meditating for a few years now regularly and haven’t made too much progress. I recently realized that when a thought comes up, I quickly react and instinctively pull away mentally and focus on my breath. It happens before I can even catch myself and try to not react. I also noticed I do that during the day. I know that I should be just observing my thoughts and not trying to pull away or get carried away but it happens almost instantly and I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to not react to my thoughts and just observe them from a distance. 

 

After realizing I was doing this, I was able to somehow stop the auto reaction and just observe my thoughts and I began to make great progress in my meditation for about a week. I’ve since however somehow gotten back into reacting/pulling away automatically by changing my focus to another sensation like my breath and my meditation/life have suffered. I can’t for the life of me figure out what I did the first time to not instantly react to thoughts and just be able to observe but can’t seem to be able to do it again.

 

Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

[Faceless]

9 minutes ago, Canvas234 said:

I recently realized that when a thought comes up, I quickly react and instinctively pull away mentally and focus on my breath.

Yeah...Even pulling away and focusing on breath is a movement of thought/volition. 

I believe this whole problem is the result of motive, will, and the effort to attain this ‘achievement’ to become free from thought. 

Those types of meditation will only strengthen the self and the movement of thought. This is prepetuates reaction and response to thought. 

Your trying to use thought to suppress thought. That is an impossibility. It may suppress and lessen but will never become totally empty by such means. 

Edited March 21, 2018 by Faceless

[Faceless]

All psychological conflict gives continuity to ego/self. Self is born from the desire ‘will/volition’ to overcome various challenges/conflicts. 

[Canvas234]

Hmm interesting! Thanks for your response! Any suggestions on what to do about it/how I can go about things differently in meditation when I automatically pull away from the thought? Just observe that I pulled away and gently go back to my breath?

[Canvas234]

I’d like to get rid of this aversion to thought so that I can just observe the thought without pulling away instantly. Will just observing my pulling away from the thought lead to that?

[Faceless]

43 minutes ago, Canvas234 said:

Hmm interesting! Thanks for your response! Any suggestions on what to do about it/how I can go about things differently in meditation when I automatically pull away from the thought? Just observe that I pulled away and gently go back to my breath?

I would start by learning about thought in general if you haven’t already. The nature of thought and it’s relstioship to the self. 

As far as meditation is concerned, explore the difference between concentration ‘excluding certain thoughts and focusing on one to quite others’ 

And attention ‘not attempting to focus on one thought to drive out others but just to watch the entire movement as a whole.’

Now I know this may sound hard but that’s because it’s a mechanical habitual programmed response to use concentration to solve various types of challenges. 

I believe puting the time in and understanding the limits of thought helps one move in a more intelligent approach to not only quieting our own thoughts, but also living life in a more orderly fashion. 

I learned about thought after I had a unexpected realization that the self/ego was a manifestation of thought. I all of a sudden just became free of any motive to attain/achieve and specific goal or desire. I think this helped me inquire and learn openly without being influenced by volition to attain a certain state of being. 

 

 

 

[Faceless]

1 hour ago, Canvas234 said:

Will just observing my pulling away from the thought lead to that?

Yeah but you will find that the compulsion is very very strong to control thought. 

 

 

[Faceless]

You got to remember the very demand to be free of thought is thought. 

Its very complex and subtle. This is why it’s important to understand that. 

But just enjoy this stuff because it’s interesting. ? 

That way it’s not a chore and a movement leading to a result, but instead an enjoyable experience?

Edited March 21, 2018 by Faceless

[Canvas234]

Thank you so much for your responses! I think you are spot on and am really going to try to digest them and apply them to my practice. As far as learning about the nature of thought, do you have any suggestions or resources other than insight gained through meditation practice?

[Faceless]

57 minutes ago, Canvas234 said:

Thank you so much for your responses! I think you are spot on and am really going to try to digest them and apply them to my practice. As far as learning about the nature of thought, do you have any suggestions or resources other than insight gained through meditation practice?

No problem friend. I don’t meditate in the sense of daily routines and such. 

To me meditation is just giving total attention to somthing without any movement of control. This combined with a good general understanding of thought in relation to your personal experience makes for a great learning experience. 

 Although I learned more from just observing myself objectively and without bias I have learned a little from the internet to. If you are a reader thats even better. I’m not much of a reader when it comes to conciousness, but I have learned a few cool things from a few good sources. 

So there are a variety of different perspectives on thought. But i would just start on typing in nature, structure, and processes of thought as a search on internet. Let me know if you don’t find anything that catches your attention. 

But If you type that in and investigate I guarantee you will find some good stuff on thought. Maybe you will point me in a direction to something new as well. 

Edited March 21, 2018 by Faceless

[Canvas234]

That is really, really helpful insight! I did do a google search and nothing really stands out. Do you have any go-to books or resources you’ve used that I could look into? Thanks for all of your help, truly!

[robdl]

The ego mind is a shape-shifting bastard who will, under threat of being exposed as illusory, assume the subtle identity of thought "observer" to perpetuate itself.  Avoid this trap.  In the process of thought observation, there's a tendency to strengthen and reinforce I-ness in the form of observer.

Edited March 21, 2018 by robdl

[Aimblack]

Just make the thoughts the body of your meditation. So instead of having to fight that habit, work with it.

[perlita]

I find Rupert Spira's method of resting awareness to be incredibly powerful. Instead of moving your attention from object to object (body, thoughts etc) you divert it back to itself.  I went from 20 mins to 45 mins just by defocusing my attention. 

 

[Guest Quanty]

Thoughts are not important, is not quite important if you witness them or not.

What really is important, to focus on breath and channel the breath from Green, Red to Gold, this is the real importance.

 

 

Namaste, Mfks!

[Torkys]

Sounds like stuff is being repressed here, not expressed. 

As a Do Nothing technique advocate, I would recommend trying the Do Nothing technique. There you allow these violent pull-backs to express thenselves. 

If you are developing concentration and/or mindfulness with awareness of breath, shit ain't gonna work if you repress your reaction and backwards rationalize not expressing it. It will always be there and bite you in the ass. Even if you don't go for Do Nothing, at least notice your reaction and observe it happening, then return to your breath.