The importance of finding your herd

[Ibn Sina]

We are all sheeps and we need our herd. If you don't find your herd, you feel shit. The luckiest sheep is  the one who is able to find the the herd that  matches his character.  

Me being a young Kantian philosopher / Neo-Marxist Leninist Ideologue/Political theorist/ greatest thinker of all time,  was unable to socialize properly as I got into a group of 3 guys and 6 girls, which specialized on teasing others, talking about what other  people did, singing, dancing, love affairs, taking selfies (lots of) , making jokes, which got me into an isolated situation for  a couple of hours, and it was one hell of an experience as  I felt like I am the dumbest creature on earth who has no sense of  worth.The guys were having great time with the girls while I was like someone invisible. The girls treated me with pity and made active efforts  to include me in and I felt  bad like something is  really wrong with me. I do make jokes from time to time, but it's just a  question of the frequency. 

Then I got back home, I had chat with my brother about philosophy , religion and politics. On the bus I had chat  with another friend of mine about the future course of the world and the fate of humanity.  I felt like I was center of the earth, I was the most  important person on earth. 

We are all sheeps and we need our herd. If you don't find your herd, you feel shit. The luckiest sheep is  the one who is able to find the the herd that  matches his character.  

Edited March 20, 2018 by Ibn Sina

[PsiloPutty]

Sounds like a Yin and Yang kind of night.  

[Forestluv]

Cool story bro

[Spinoza]

I think when you are not lucky to be average, you will certainly find people with whom you talk but you will never find your herd, you will prefer solitude.

[Jamie Universe]

10 hours ago, Ibn Sina said:

Me being a young Kantian philosopher / Neo-Marxist Leninist Ideologue/Political theorist/ greatest thinker of all time,  was unable to socialize properly as I got into a group of 3 guys and 6 girls, which specialized on teasing others, talking about what other  people did, singing, dancing, love affairs, making jokes, which got me into an isolated situation for  a couple of hours

I totally get where your coming from, I've been in that group situation where they're talking about something I either know nothing about or I'm just not used to socializing in that way. However you can break this bridge by doing something in common with that group. 

For example they could be talking about love affairs, but you could all be doing a similar task or project and you can bring that up and talk about it. Though I do agree its important to find your herd.

[SOUL]

Have your herd the word? So holistic it's unheralded.... one heard.

 

 

[Staples]

@Ibn Sina what if a person's character is genocidal? Should they find their herd so they can all get together and scheme?

20 hours ago, Ibn Sina said:

If you don't find your herd, you feel shit.

 

Are you sure? What if it was possible to feel good no matter who you were with?

[Ibn Sina]

@Staples I think a genocidal individual would be someone anti-social, he does not want the herd, he wants to destroy the herd. By 'we' of course I mean the average mindset, not the mind of a mass murderer.

Yes, I do believe that  it is possible to be happy no matter who you are with but it is  not the default mode  and also it is not easy to develop such a  mindset, I think in most cases, one feels shit just like I did when one is in a herd out of one's own personality. I think many people will agree with this. This idea is well preserved in the age old cliche ;Bird with same feather fly together.' 

[dude]

Quote

She may find a herd that suits her and settle in for the long haul, or she may spend her whole life wandering from herd to herd, perhaps, at some point, giving up on herds altogether and going solo - Jed McKenna

 

[Mussi]

1 hour ago, Ibn Sina said:

 

Yes, I do believe that  it is possible to be happy no matter who you are with but it is  not the default mode  and also it is not easy to develop such a  mindset, I think in most cases, one feels shit just like I did when one is in a herd out of one's own personality. I think many people will agree with this. This idea is well preserved in the age old cliche ;Bird with same feather fly together.' 

@Ibn Sina, may I ask how old you are? In my experience when you are still young you are far more uncomfortable feeling 'different' or 'lonely' than when you get older. If indeed you are still young (teenager or early to mid- twenties) then I would just advice you to find the things that you do have in common with people and focus on them. Whatever you find you do not have in common is a great teaching tool for yourself, because it is by comparison with others that we most easily come to understand who we are as an individual.

If you are older, then I would suggest to spend some time on your own, as long as you think you can handle to begin with, and increase the amount of time over time. When you feel ready, go on a holiday all by yourself. You will find that whilst you will still enjoy company, you will prefer your own company over 'bad' company. And try not to look down on people who are different than you or who exhibit behaviours that you may not approve of. Just observe and enjoy the lessons, the emotions and the insights you gain from the experience of being aroud others, whether or not they are likeminded.

30 minutes ago, dude said:

She may find a herd that suits her and settle in for the long haul, or she may spend her whole life wandering from herd to herd, perhaps, at some point, giving up on herds altogether and going solo - Jed McKenna

@dude Great quote. Thanks for sharing!

Edited March 20, 2018 by Mussi

[Staples]

@Ibn Sina Hitler was quite good with people... There were certainly people who wanted what he wanted who worked with him, they didn't fight with each other until they'd already lost. The SS is an example. 

[Ibn Sina]

 

 

1 hour ago, Mussi said:

I would just advice you to find the things that you do have in common with people and focus on them.

I think that this  is kind of the entire point of my post- the importance of finding your herd, which is not limited  to finding new people that matches your interests, but as you put it, finding common interest within these people. However, I would note that if it is not so easy to find these interests such that we have to dig in deeper to find them, then that means that trait is  not their dominant trait, it is  only a small aspect of themselves which resulted in their lesser expression which made us search more to discover it, and a relationship developed on such an underdeveloped trait cannot be a strong one and fulfilling. A man who is deeply  into philosophy, cannot hide his love for so long.  It shows it in his character, and I am not saying that  he tries to show it  , but  he cannot help not showing it. So it is not something to be discovered but something that shines through without any voluntary control. Now other  people of  similar nature  can connect with him. But someone who has some knowledge of philosophy but he is  more into music, will not connect as deeply , even if that lover of philosophy knows about the music lover's few wishy washy  experience with the it. 

1 hour ago, Mussi said:

 You will find that whilst you will still enjoy company, you will prefer your own company over 'bad' company.

 

I have always been a solitude loving person from the start of my teenage years, so nothing new to find. I was not saying  that I felt bad because I was alone, or due to being with a group which I disliked, it's just that the group was out of my personality type, they were outgoing, singing , dancing, joking, all about having fun and great time , which I don't find much enjoyable. 

 

1 hour ago, Mussi said:

Whatever you find you do not have in common is a great teaching tool for yourself

I think there wasn't much anything that the experience taught me , except making me more aware of my lack of social skills, my inability to fully express my self and letting go of my inhibitions, a fact which I have known from from the very first moments of my life, and have been reminded of from time to time. Its not a question of teaching or learning or knowing about what creates entertainment and fun and what doesn't, it's about what I like to do and what I don't. Observing them I can learn a lot about how to have fun, but that doesn't mean I find pleasure  in doing those things.

[Ibn Sina]

59 minutes ago, Staples said:

@Ibn Sina Hitler was quite good with people... There were certainly people who wanted what he wanted who worked with him, they didn't fight with each other until they'd already lost. The SS is an example. 

Great point. That word genocide got  me the picture of some person mass shooting and I forgot about such organized mass genocide.  Hitler committed genocide. And how did he commit a genocide? With his herd. A very very large herd destroying another very very large herd. Your question was-  Should they find their herd so they can all get together and scheme? Of course they should not from the point of view of  humanism and welfare, but these genocidal people did get together, found their herd, and  did what they wanted. Finding their herd was good  for them. They did follow this advice- find your herd, and did complete accomplish their goal, and probably felt  better as they  reached  their goal. They killed  millions of  jews. So of course these genocidal people  should  not follow this advice because that can lead to mass destruction which non of us want. But I was not talking about these genocidal people whose herd can cause so much destruction, for  the normal people, being with their herd is good. Being outside your  herd is bad. If you don't believe it then you can try it. You will discover  one of 2 things- 1. I am right or 2. You are a highly developed human. If neither is the case, then you are not outside your herd. 

But again, there is the issue about 'being outside your comfort zone'. One must be careful with such statement. There is a difference between going to the gym, enduring great  pain to build a nice body, and taking a sharp object and outright harming yourself. Being outside the  comfort zone is about enduring pain and being outside your normal routine with the purpose  of attaining a pre-conceived desirable state, but being outside  your zone just for the sake of being outside  your zone is just self harm, a waste of  time, idiocy. 

Edited March 20, 2018 by Ibn Sina

[Ibn Sina]

28 minutes ago, Simon Zackrisson said:

You're not the greatest thinker of all time, clown

Does my name look any thing like 'Albert Einstein' or  'Richard Feynman'? No. So it doesn't take much intelligence to see that I am not the  greatest  thinker of all time. So me calling myself 'greatest thinker of  all time' is ofcourse is intended for humor and should be eliciting a reaction of  laughter , not of denial. And if it does, then without a doubt you are  feeling negativity for some unknown reason, probably from your distorted  perception. Don't worry, I am not anywhere near the notion of  smart. But across your life you will find  many many super smart people who will super amplify your insecurities to their limits. May be you should  try telling them they are not  smart. 

Edited March 20, 2018 by Ibn Sina

[Mussi]

@Ibn Sina I get the feeling you are not neccesarily trying to find solutions to the questions/issues your original post raised, but rather are looking to endlessly debate people in an attempt to try to prove some kind of intellectual / spiritual / philosophical superiority. I could however be wrong, so here's a last attempt on my end:

48 minutes ago, Ibn Sina said:

I have always been a solitude loving person from the start of my teenage years, so nothing new to find

If this is the case, then I don't think you should have such a strong need to find your herd. Just be you. No need to stress about it so much. You will or you wont one day find a herd you like. If you do great, if you dont, but you like your own company, also great. Don't worry so much about others.  

 

48 minutes ago, Ibn Sina said:

A man who is deeply  into philosophy, cannot hide his love for so long.  It shows it in his character, and I am not saying that  he tries to show it  , but  he cannot help not showing it. So it is not something to be discovered but something that shines through without any voluntary control.

Why would you feel the need to hide your love for philosophy? Whether or not other people love it should not stop you from showing your love for it. Embrace who you are no matter what others think of it. 

 

48 minutes ago, Ibn Sina said:

I would note that if it is not so easy to find these interests such that we have to dig in deeper to find them, then that means that trait is  not their dominant trait, it is  only a small aspect of themselves which resulted in their lesser expression which made us search more to discover it, and a relationship developed on such an underdeveloped trait cannot be a strong one and fulfilling

It is definitely not easy to find many common interests with all people. First off: You don't need to. If hanging out with certain people makes you more unhappy than happy, then you shouldn't feel forced to keep hanging out with them.  Second: Those statements you made about the realisations that hanging out with such groups have in teh past given you about yourself indicate that it does have the beneficial aspect of teaching you more about yourself. However if you find that there's nothing more to learn from a group of people, and you don't enjoy their company, then just let them go. There are plenty of other people on this planet, unless you live in a very isolated area you can surely find some people that still have something positive to offer you. If not, then there's always the internet.  

[Simon Zackrisson]

@Ibn Sina This attempt of humour was not very apparent to me . 
I just dislike arrogance so much, I truly love self confidence but if it is balanced with humbleness.

 

I have no wish to be in a state of conflict, although I don't mind it to face it at all, like if i feel something isn't right, but yeah. 

Peace with your life, fellow consciousness.  

[Ibn Sina]

37 minutes ago, Mussi said:

I get the feeling you are not neccesarily trying to find solutions to the questions/issues your original post raised

I am sorry but I if  you look closely, I am not trying  to find any solution ahhahahhahahaha, I am making a statement backed up by an empirical data - we need to find our herd . 

I am sorry if I made you feel bad, I was just trying to make things as logically coherent as possible. I will stop . Hopefully others will correctly judge these logical consistencies  through the course of this thread. 

37 minutes ago, Mussi said:

I could however be wrong so here's a last attempt on my end

That statement really touched me. I have utmost respect  for your authenticity and  character. I have no doubt that you are a more  conscious being.

Edited March 20, 2018 by Ibn Sina