How to be prepared for the day that our mother die

[Moreira]

When we are kids we dont even think about it, that day looks so far away, but when we get older and our mother pass the 70 the unevitable looks closer.

There arent words to describe the love of a mother, the only person that really care about us, the one who would give her live for us, the defender, the lover and in the other side the gratitude and tenderness we got towards them.

Without a doubt when the day come it will be the most shocking experience ever, especially if we live in the same city or house like her and have a close relationship.

So when "the winter come" I want to be the prepared squirrel and have a strong psychology to cope with that huge void.

I faced the loss of my grandma 3 years ago and found help in self-actualization and the idea of the true self, the death of the body and ego but the persistance of the consciosness. Didnt understand everything at all, invetigated most days about death, quantum consciousness, and had a little hope that the essence of my grandma would melt into eternity intead of being cold anihilated. Who knows what happens after...

But I learned a lesson. Dont leave unsaid words behind, undone kisses or hugs, i love you's that i never said.

I regret spending so much time playing videogames when my grandma was in the house in other room watching TV or sewing. But I was a young stupid dopamine junkie and now I would have spent more quality time with her.

I think this is the key, be more gentle, avoid being angry with her, take her to visit places, and express your love before its too late.

I would want to know your opinions.

 

[perlita]

When your mother dies you suddenly realize your own mortality like never before. You experience pure horror. So I don't think it's possible to be prepared for that unless you do some serious contemplation about death. 

[PsiloPutty]

I realize on some level that I am everyone and everyone is me; that we're all the same something. The flame that you call "mother" will go out in a few years, as will yours, and may spring up somewhere else as something else. Nothing is permanent; there's comfort in that knowledge for some folks as well as fear for others.

If none of that helps answer your question, maybe something like writing her the most open letter that you've ever written would help. Tell her everything lovely that you remember about her from your childhood. Her actions in loving you, the special meals she made for you or whatever comes to mind. Make yourself vulnerable. Don't skip saying something sappy because of pride. Everyone THINKS of writing a letter like this, but most of us don't end up sitting down and doing it. 

It's really so much easier to swallow your pride and say these things while she's alive than it will be to forgive yourself after she's gone for NOT saying them.