How Can I Do Inner Work?

[Pia]

hey? i have watched Leos new video and understand that i have to do inner work. Does it consist of just meditating or what else can i do?

[zenny]

@PiaYou can do "self enquiry or questioning everything thingy" ,along with meditation. Make sure that the place where you learn mediation from, is a good one. 

Coming to self enquiry, you may start with ramana maharshi's ,"who am i"?. use the following link to see how he does that( http://www.sriramanamaharshi.org/downloadbooks/whoami_all_languages/Who_Am_I_English.pdf)

2.Read nathan gills "clarity" ,its around 13 pages and its worth it!. Use the following link to read that book( http://holybooks.lichtenbergpress.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/Nathan-Gill-Clarity.pdf?d2ad5d)

3. You can watch videos of jeff foster, mooji, rupert spira, etc  and read  some stuff of UG . If u wish , i can send you the pdf. 

Edited March 4, 2016 by zenny

[zenny]

@Pia here the link for the video series of jeff foster,  doing self enquiry( 

)

[Pia]

@zenny Thank you so much for the answer? i was really stuck on this one

[Pia]

@zenny Oh and i would be really happy if you could send me the link to the pdf ?

 

Another question can i use the "who am i" question for healing childhood tragic? 

Edited March 4, 2016 by Pia

[zenny]

@Pia hi pia..........Regarding emotional healing ,Connect with @Kelley White. I just feel that kelley might have an better answer .

[zenny]

@Pia Have you come across byron katie's "the work". It will be helpful, you can use her ways of asking questions to deal with emotions. And the thing is , I think, @Kelley White is quite familiar with katie's work. 

here's the link for byron katie's "the work " .( http://thework.com/en/do-work)

[Pia]

Okay thank you for the answer. This will help me a lot??

[Kelley White]

 

On 3/4/2016 at 3:01 AM, Pia said:

Another question can i use the "who am i" question for healing childhood tragic? 

I personally have been using the Who am I question for this yes.

10 hours ago, zenny said:

@Pia Have you come across byron katie's "the work". It will be helpful, you can use her ways of asking questions to deal with emotions. And the thing is , I think, @Kelley White is quite familiar with katie's work. 

here's the link for byron katie's "the work " .( http://thework.com/en/do-work)

I was introduced to Byron Katie online.  I definitely had resistance initially.   Just to tattle on myself?  I did five to ten initial judge your Neighbor Worksheets and ALL of them I judged ME.  

About the same time I ended up finding a free copy of one of Byron Katie's books at my therapist's office in the free books section.

I'm reading the book, looking at my sheets and some of the things I literally put in writing and I thought Marquis DE Sade would be nicer inner critic to have than my internal self talk.

In childhood when we lack core constancy, higher cognition, the ability to process abstractions, we are often exposed to trauma we have no words to express.  No conceptualization to express.   (I also highly recommend Peter Walker C-PTSD from Surviving the Thriving which is available on Amazon.)

We can end up with subconscious triggers to sounds, smells, colors, etc which are not accompanied by visualizations or allow us to make concrete connections between a sudden shift in mood and a trigger.  Spartan Life Coach and Peter Walker both discuss how the survivor of childhood trauma can habituate such negative self talk that they can trigger themselves with their own thinking.  (Once triggered we tend to loop or spin in the same "issue" until either we or someone else can redirect our focus.)

So for me inquiry about childhood trauma is asking if those negative beliefs I have of self are really true?  If they are not really true where did they come from?  Who would I be if I stop believing the story of who I was told I was, or the story of who I tell myself I am?

Its work.  Some days its victory, its wonderful.   Other days?  Its work, it slogging through pain, and facing unpleasant self defeating beliefs that need correction.   Its a process, its not linear, things come and go; reappear, disappear. 

Childhood trauma takes time, it takes a balance of being gentle and yet firm with your inner child versus letting it run amok.   I am still really working on all of this myself.  Byron Katie for me is a nice mix of someone who loves you and will laugh with you and get your pain but she will also call you on your bs and not let you cheat.  I personally like that.   I'm too smart and I buy my own BS at times.  (100% responsibility )

So the Who am I question is very healing when looking at childhood trauma because you realize...you were a kid who could not consent.  You realize the whys behind the whats and once you can identify that you can FEEL.  When you FEEL you can choose to let it go and realize that event no longer defines you, it is not your story it is a page in the story.   Once I could grasp that?  I could begin the process of self forgiveness.  I could also see what was my business and what was other people's business and stop owning everyone's business.

You might enjoy this Ted Talk.

 

 

 

[Pia]

@Kelley White Thank you for your detailed answer? 

I am struggling with binge eating for 3 years now and Leos video fake vs real growth really opened my eyes. I had some weight loss "successes" recently (but achieved by guilting myself all the time) 

Then i realized that i just escape from my feelings every time i binge, and the reason is because of childhood trauma and the feeling not beeing good enough.  All these feelings really overwhelm me right now and i had a terrible binge today after i did self inquiry (?) On top of that i have some exams coming up where i have to learn for...

I will definetly read the work and the book from Peter walker. Thank you again so much for your answer i really appreciate it. I cant believe how kind everyone is in this forum?

[Galyna]

@Pia

Inner work is 24/7. Observing your emotions, reactions, yourself and people around, their emotions and reactions. It is basically your mental careful observation of the Reality that you are interacting with!  Plus meditations, of course, Diary, journals of what you observing and how it changes.

[Pia]

@Galyna I already did this unconciously observing my emotions), but i think i really have to be consistent with meditation and journaling because i do them on/off ?

[xXxXx]

I highly recommend strong determination sittings, never have i been so confronted with the limitations the mind forces upon oneself.

[Galyna]

@Pia

Yep. same here. I am just a  lazy butt to do a meditation on the regular basis. Shame on me! . So I feel you, my friend! 

[Galyna]

@Locooig

Sometimes what works for you  might not work for other person! 

[xXxXx]

Just now, Galyna said:

@Locooig

Sometimes what works for you  might not work for other person! 

It's not all about you.

[Galyna]

@Locooig

Sorry, no offense here. Definitely it is not all about me! 

[Kelley White]

@Pia  You are very welcome.

8 hours ago, Pia said:

I am struggling with binge eating for 3 years now and Leos video fake vs real growth really opened my eyes. I had some weight loss "successes" recently (but achieved by quilting myself all the time) 

I wonder how much weight you give your successes versus your binges?  You have successes; that's growth.   An oops doesn't negate the success, its just one  moment.   The next moment you can be right back on track.

Changing eating patterns is challenging.  I'm a recovering anorexic, I had issues with binge eating and starving from  the age of 14.   I recognized through self inquiry this was related to being given pron from before the age of five; being sexually abused, and being taught that beauty was looking like women in porn magazines.   I literally was conditioned to objectify myself.   Of course the crux of eating issues tend to be perfectionism and a sense of control.

I was super skinny until I had my fourth child at 27.  Then I was 145 pounds at 5'7" and thought it was the end of the world.  I was used to be 105-115.

I got to the gym and became a weight trainer. It changed how I viewed food.  Food is fuel.  I then dealt with my core faulty belief systems.  

I still have times when I can fall into poor habits.  I just make a conscious decision to bring that aspect of my diet into my awareness again and make those small changes.  I am very strict with myself.  I find it I make those changes for 30 days?  I go back and a soda or a cookie is too sweet.  Eliminate processed foods and then have something later on?  You taste the difference, you might even feel ill.  So its doable, without guilt, just by being aware and asking your body what do you need? 

8 hours ago, Pia said:

Then i realized that i just escape from my feelings every time i binge, and the reason is because of childhood trauma and the feeling not beeing good enough.  All these feelings really overwhelm me right now and i had a terrible binge today after i did self inquiry (?) On top of that i have some exams coming up where i have to learn for...

Self soothing with food.   Add the brain chemistry of why folks with depression crave sugars and complex carbs?

 

I hope that you and @Galyna can find some benefit from this.  

 

[Kelley White]

8 hours ago, Galyna said:

I am just a  lazy butt to do a meditation on the regular basis. Shame on me!

@Galyna, that sounds harsh. Is it true?  Are you really lazy?  Should we shame you?  I would rather say thank you  for being here, you must be aware and wiling to work or you wouldn't be here?  Maybe I'm wrong I don't know?  Is shame working?  I would rather support you in a positive small step you can make and commit to which you perceive is attainable? What are your thoughts?  What do you think would really benefit you in making one positive change in this area we could support you with? 

[Kelley White]

8 hours ago, Locooig said:

I highly recommend strong determination sittings, never have i been so confronted with the limitations the mind forces upon oneself.

@Locooig, Respect.  I admire your ability to do that.  I am not certain everyone would be capable of doing that...but thank you for offering the suggestion for those whom will find it helpful.