When survival instict conflicts with the spiritual agenda

[Leo-Tzu]

Until february i used to meditate everyday for about 1 hour straight for 3-4 months and felt very good, positive, full of energy. Visualise, self inquired etc. Lets say im in my firsts steps in the hero's journey, or so i thought. Last month i had a surgery, it went very well but i had for 3 weeks some mild complications which reversed all my feelings. I got depressed in 3-4 days, started to think about permenent damage and a lot of automatic negative visualisations. I visited a psychotherapist which i trust and she said that i was in a post op state of mind which triggered my fight of flight intstics and we cannot do nothing about it unless we're some yogi or guru. I cant believe how my whole emotional equilibrium failed so quickly. I could not even meditate for 10 minutes without starting to have strong negative feelings. Fortunately im recovering well... Started meditating again and things are going well. I'm more concerned with how the brain tricks us (or me for example) in the moment we feel we're going well with our spiritual routines etc...  Now i realised im not even out of the fuckin village (in the hero's journey)

[Rilles]

Of course youre out of the village, you just met your first threshold guardian, dont get discouraged, its a bumpy ride!

[Talkawuer]

It is hard, and it is a lot of work. But we just need to love the hero's journey, the journey itself  but not where we are on this journey.

"A man who conquers himself is greater than one who conquers a thousand men in battle."

- Buddha

[Leo-Tzu]

@Rilles it was strange because on the intellectual level i was conscious where i was and everything was going go be ok but on the emotional level was hard lol... Thanks tho...

@Talkawuer that's the point... Thanks

[Leo-Tzu]

@Outer ye i'm having some kefir etc anyway my state was more mental then physical... keeping your balance is the ultimate skill

[cirkussmile]

The surgery clearly showed you that it's not just about doing. Being is the start and the goal and all in between