Are you happy when you get what you want? / How to be happy?

[Dino D]

I belive real happines is the ,,non dual story" / infinity / and so on...

But I like to talk practically., so:

Is real happines in fact really simply? You just have to do what you want, like and love? Thats it... I mean thats it, the end.

Youre depressed and anxious because you live in a lie, you cant do what you want, or you failed because you dindt fight hard enought (gave up) but you still want it...

You want to do that job (but youre working another one), you want to be with that partner (but youre with another one), you want to achive some goals (like body shape, travel destinations, learn some skills) but you never had the will power...

And here we go: The solution. Just do what you want to do from the deepest part of your hearth (or your ego-personality), no matter the consequences, an no matter how hard the road to the goal is, just fight for it, and you will be happy most of the time... You will be motivated, happy, not depressed and so on...

If you reach all your goals you will have new goals, fight for them. No compromises. If you fight hard and smart there are chances more then 90% that you will also make it.

 

We dont live how we want, and what we want (chasing our dreams) beacuse of fear, consequences, society rules, money, and we do what we dont like, we cant talk 100% honestly to other people and be authenitic, we hang out with people we dont like/love, (thats sometimes evan wife and kids-thats how it is, its not moral or nice but the hard reality for some people (btw. I'm not married and I dont have kids, its just a brutal example), and thats why we are unhappy.

Also I dont mean stupid and superficial goals, like getting a new car (witch is often 90% just because of social status) or chasing mony at every price like blind chicken, I mean going deep, being trully honest and doing and living from your hearth. Also being ,,smart" and mindfull, doing some self inquiry and psyholigical education will probaby help that this,, doing what you want" does not go in a shallow, stupid totaly uncosiousnes (big time american cosumer, shallow person(money, fame, power, materialist), lifestyle)

Or is this the wrong way? Maybe is much more self discipline, abiding way, gsomething like giving up of all of this previously said, like zen budhists, or christian saints and hermits, or what not... Sometimes excersizing the giving up or maybe almost every spiritual way, just seams like dont having the guts to do it (fighting for your dream) and to face all consequences of doing what you want or love, and to fight so hard to achive it...

Last example: Many people want to be dan blizerian, but they dont have the guts to follow that lifestyle, and sometimes they ,,meditate, rationalize it, and get more councious" but what does work????? for being happy????

[Monkey-man]

You see we can be happy in doing what we want and love only when we transcended our ego. Only in this case life aimed on doing what we want and love is not dangerous. BUT if we did not yet transcend our ego and our life becomes happiness-seeking thats essentially assumes suffering, its almost a law that I observe, because then you do what your ego wants/loves and thats not really what your true self wants/love and also ego is self's emotions based so it assumes bad emotion for every good emotion. If you use your mind to get happiness you end up with additional suffering, its like an emotional rollercoaster. Because emotions/feelings are outcomes, signs and bonuses, its not there to be pursued. See mind is a survival tool, it becomes completely out of hand and experiences suffering if we use mind for happiness-seeking, pleasure-seeking, feelings-seeking. We should use it for survival instead, at least before we did not transcend ego. Psychological Suffering is a merely a sign that something is going wrong, that you are not surviving well enough on psychological level. Yes! There's also a psychological survival additional to physical survival. If we are suffering emotionally it means that something is attacking us on psychological plane: psychological fears, negative emotions. All these things are stemming from ego-related or self-related thoughts. And these thoughts are coming from outside, we are attracting them but its not our thoughts. Its good to use spiral dynamics to map where you at in the current moment and see what can be the solution. If we are talking about psychological self-related suffering then it usually assumes Red on spiral dynamics, Red is when we act upon our vital self's will, if personal growth has stopped and vital self cannot develop anymore and it suffers instead then we start to think about meaning of life, purpose, how to be happy, seek solutions etc, and in the end after 10000 hours of self-help work we realize that we don't know solution and we are really powerless to change anything on the radical level other than to make some cosmetic changes, but thats not true radical change, so in order to go forward we must transcend our vital self, to proceed from Red to Blue one must sacrifice his vital self or vital ego and consciously (not out of fear) accept presence and surrender to absolute's will and be sort of servant of absolute's will 24/7. And its better not to become hermit or monk, its better to be in where you are, be in society - its much better. Be and surrender to society's stupidness, its so powerful. This will get rid of ego-related thoughts which are 90% of our thoughts on a daily basis. With our silence mind - THE descending energy will start to dive into your head easier without meeting thought-obstacles as before, and this energy will transform or clean up psychological mess in your head. This happens when you hear noise in your head, or when your head is buzzing during meditation. This is all about trying to establish contact with absolute-being and basically spiritual path in the beginning is all about this, about surrender and serving to the absolute infinity or god. This will devote you away from being under ego's control. Now from here you will start being like a patient and faithful servant until you are ready and brave enough to 100% surrender and here you will have your first permanent awakening when you transcend all psychological sufferings at once. Now you can be happy regardless of emotional circumstances, its Orange, here you left with your mental ego, then journey proceeds further in order to transcend it as well and become Green where you really connect with reality on a very heart-based authentic divine love and peacefully happy level. But anyways even before that, once vital/emotional ego is gone after complete 100% surrender which will take time, you no longer affected by emotional suffering, by fears, by psychological fear of death, your state of being stabilizes, its already very much happy state. So all these is just one way of looking at things but of course paths can be different for different people, but all paths lead to Rome anyways.

[Dino D]

23 minutes ago, Monkey-man said:

You see 

Hey, great answer  Now its clear to me, this one sentence is what you said in a nutshel and what wised me up- then you do what your ego wants/loves and thats not really what your true self wants/love

Btw. I have tinnitus, and it came parrarel with the start of my path... ( I did all medical reserch, but nothing).

[Steph1988]

@Dino D I find what i want changes and adjusts over time and to just find out what u want might take forever trying different stuff.

Over many years for me a few things seem to stick in my case that is my interest in music,history,philosophy and building a strong body besides the obvious friends,family,intimate relationships i wonder how can someone NOT chase what they want.

A lot of people i see are seemingly happy with working a full time job and running endless errants and chores,making ends meet, then drop exhausted on the couch watching Netflix for 4 hours, are they happy? how?

I would like an answer to the reverse question how can you be happy with the basic script most people seem to follow? it looks like hell to me.

Maybe i will not make all my goals as perfect as i want but i (and i can only speak from my subjective experience) am certainly happy if i'm able to slowly and steadily work towards what i want and just working towards it is already good.

and then i don't need much luxury or vacations at least for a while.