Does self-actualization necessitate the development of empathy?

[lmfao]

I'm curious as to whether raising one's consciousness is directly related to empathy increasing. I've naturally been an unempathetic person throughout my life, although that may have a significant chance of changing since I'm 17. Although I'm unempathetic, I still see myself as someone who's relatively moral compared to the people around me. 

I've been practicing mindfulness meditation for a couple of months now, and whenever I'm in a state of higher consciousness, I will feel more connected to the people around me.

This connection doesn't really feel as though its based on love and emotional attachment. The enhanced connection I feel is similar to the enhanced connection I have to the raw sensations in my body. I simply appreciate other people for the experience they give me. During states of higher consciousness I've felt happy and blissfully, but doesn't make me anymore "caring of people". 

I sense there is a lot of shadow work I need to do, as I think I have some sociopathic traits. I'm not a fan of manipulation and acting fake however. If I was to speak in terms of the Big Five Aspects Scale, I'm 0th percentile conscientiousness and 1st percentile agreeableness (I got an official test). Would it not be for the fact that I'm high in "openness to experience" (97th percentile) and like to discuss interesting deep topics with people, I would likely have zero value to people. The only value most people see in me is my interest in academia and topics like maths or philosophy. If one or two things were different, perhaps I would have engaged in criminality.

I have a family history of mental illness and personality problems, and I think that plays a role. Or maybe I'm just playing the victim when I say that. Even if my natural temperament is geared towards low empathy, I still need to orient myself better to be happy.

 My question 

What have your experiences been with consciousness work in relation to how you feel about others? I'll say it again, just to highlight my experience. I'll feel more connected to people, but it's not because I've become more emotionally invested with their well being. 

Edited March 15, 2018 by lmfao

[jwkspeck]

To be truly connected to other people as well as open to (and conscious of) your own emotions probably does necessitate empathy. If you feel connected to others, it's because you have a better sense of the truth that there is no absolute distinction between yourself and others--the reality is you are one and the same. If you can become actually conscious of this, not just conceptually, you may find you are either (a) sympathetic, and then empathetic, or (b) emotionally repressed. If you care about your own well-being, and you are the same as everyone else, you would care about everyone else's well-being.

However, I don't want to make it seem so black and white, and I won't pretend to understand you from this one post. I have been very agreeable and sympathetic over the course of my life, and consciousness work has bloomed my empathy into deep compassion, but has also let me be more disagreeable when I judge it worthwhile to do so. It seems I come from a very different direction than you do, so do be skeptical of my words.

[Leo Gura]

@lmfao You should practice some form of Loving Kindness meditation.

Or open your hear chakra.

Or take some pure MDMA and experience what infinite divine love feels like so you know what the goal is.

[MisterMan]

fucken lol at leo, best teacher ever.

[lmfao]

@Leo Gura sounds like good shit. 

[aurum]

  On 3/15/2018 at 7:37 PM, lmfao said:

What have your experiences been with consciousness work in relation to how you feel about others?

What I find is that you go from being like a black hole to being more like the sun.

The black hole just wants to suck value out of any situation it encounters. It doesn't see any point in giving or caring because it's all about me, me, me. It's a bit like a little kid.

The sun is the exact opposite. The sun just does its thing everyday, giving and providing light for everyone. And never asking for anything in return.

So why be the sun? Seems like it's getting a raw deal and it would be much smarter to be the black hole.

The answer is just that you can't help it. You care and it feels good to support others.

Now, you could say "I'm not like that, it doesn't feel good to care about others for me". But I'd argue that's self-deception.

The sun is your natural state. All this consciousness work is doing is removing the blocks to you seeing that.

So don't be surprised if you start softening a bit as this process continues.

[Leo Gura]

  On 3/15/2018 at 10:08 PM, John Lula said:

@Leo Gura Waste your serotonin for one night and potentially experience some harsh depression at the build-up?

I wouldn't make a habit of it. But it can be very valuable to see what true love feels like. Some people have very closed hearts.

It's also possible using other psychedelics, but MDMA is supposed to be the most direct path. I get infinite love sometimes on psychedelics, but it's not consistent. MDMA specifically targets that part of the brain.

[DnoReally]

  On 3/16/2018 at 2:02 AM, Leo Gura said:

the brain.

 

[Max_V]

@DnoReally lol

[MM1988]

  On 3/16/2018 at 2:02 AM, Leo Gura said:

I wouldn't make a habit of it. But it can be very valuable to see what true love feels like. Some people have very closed hearts.

It's also possible using other psychedelics, but MDMA is supposed to be the most direct path. I get infinite love sometimes on psychedelics, but it's not consistent. MDMA specifically targets that part of the brain.

Depends on the person. I get none of these "love-feelings" on MDMA. Im maybe a bit friendlier and more open because of the mood-boost but nothing world shattering. On the other hand If you want to know how it feels like to be some tribal member dancing himself into a trance thats what MDMA is about for me. And also music sounds awesome, in fact techno music has a very repetitive tribal feel to it because of that. Dont confuse "tribal" with natural though, it feels like a chemical drug.

[Forestluv]

  On 3/16/2018 at 2:02 AM, Leo Gura said:

I wouldn't make a habit of it. But it can be very valuable to see what true love feels like. Some people have very closed hearts.

It's also possible using other psychedelics, but MDMA is supposed to be the most direct path. I get infinite love sometimes on psychedelics, but it's not consistent. MDMA specifically targets that part of the brain.

I haven’t done MDMA, yet I can’t imagine love any truer than an Ayahuasca ceremony. I wish they would pop up in the U.S. like concerts. The country would be much saner.

[MM1988]

  On 3/15/2018 at 10:08 PM, John Lula said:

@Leo Gura Waste your serotonin for one night and potentially experience some harsh depression at the build-up?

@lmfao Don't get involved with MDMA unless you know the full ramifications of it. Do extensive research if you do.

MDMA Depression only happens for people who overdo it. If you do it in a responsible manner you get a nice afterglow the next day. The only time I experienced MDMA depression was after I did it 2 days in a row. People warn about doing this for good reason and I knew about it. But as it is if you like a substance and you want to get a feel for it you test out the boundaries. It was just 1 or 2 shitty days and I was back to normal though, lesson learned. Alcohol hangover is far worse for me.

 

MDMA is a rather safe substance if you are not an idiot about it. Considering the far too strong pills that are around and the amount of idiots that do it at partys I wouldnt worry about it if you have even half a brain.

Edited March 17, 2018 by MM1988

[Matt8800]

Empathy is produced by the physical architecture of our animal brains. This is why brain scans of psychopaths show anomalies. It has been shown that some people's brains are genetically pre-dispositioned to not produce empathy in the same way as others. I am also one of those people which is why I have put a lot of thought into this subject.

Mathieu Ricard, an ex-French Scientist/Buddhist Monk wrote a great book on Altruism. Studies have shown that people that engage in loving-kindness meditation alter the physical structures of their brain (neuroplasticity). I agree with Leo's suggestion of loving-kindness meditation and MDMA experimentation with a person/people you care about. Also, remember that intention and action to treat others with love and kindness is different than feeling love and kindness. I push myself daily to show love and kindness to others despite my natural tenancies and I have noticed huge changes in my attitude and empathy towards others. 

On a side note, I have noticed a strong correlation between developing love/empathy and happiness and the ability to perceive beauty. Its worth the work.