Cant always relax

[Ether]

Sometimes I try to relax just by meditating or listening to music, sometimes im able to do 20 or 30 minutes of meditation and i still feel the same!

You say:"Oh, it doesnt work because you didnt 40." In the past I did, I felt the same.

"Oh, it didnt work because you didnt do 50." Same answer.

Sometimes I CAN relax but not always. It is usually only 30 minutes per day, the rest of the day Im numb or a little bit dissatisfied.

[Michael569]

Could it be that you are trying to control and manipulate the situation too much? By saying "i need to relax" you already already giving in to your neurosis by setting a condition and expectations on to your meditation practice. Instead go meditate without any expectations and accept whatever happens. 

Also secondly, perhaps identify the cause of why you are not relaxed and dissatisfied in the first place. Is it work related stress? relationship? money? Are you living the kind of life you would want to? Are your values clashing with something else? 

[Ether]

1 hour ago, Michael569 said:

Could it be that you are trying to control and manipulate the situation too much? By saying "i need to relax" you already already giving in to your neurosis by setting a condition and expectations on to your meditation practice. Instead go meditate without any expectations and accept whatever happens. 

 

Yes but i dont control what thoughts pop in my head, so how can I let go of that thought "I need to relax"?

Its like tryiung to control the uncontrolable and every time or most times i do it I fail.

I dont know man, I just want lasting relaxation and peace. Thats all i ever wanted.

Btw, if i dont have the thought "I need to relax" what would be my motivation to meditate? There is certain things i want about meditation!

Wouldnt i put no effort if i let go of that thought?

[Michael569]

25 minutes ago, Ether said:

Yes but i dont control what thoughts pop in my head, so how can I let go of that thought "I need to relax"?

Its like tryiung to control the uncontrolable and every time or most times i do it I fail.

I dont know man, I just want lasting relaxation and peace. Thats all i ever wanted.

Btw, if i dont have the thought "I need to relax" what would be my motivation to meditate? There is certain things i want about meditation!

Wouldnt i put no effort if i let go of that thought?

You are absolutely right, we cannot control thoughts in our heads but we can control how they affect us. Best meditations I had were the ones done without any aim or any neurotic intention. The ones that I simply did for the pleasure of being still and being in the moment(even though you could say that is a sort of expectation already  ). That alone does usually bring all the nice side products such as "still mind" or feeling of relaxation. 

It is the western perception that every activity has to immediately lead to some result and if it doesn't we failed. We all get trapped into this. But I'd say if that is the main thing driving your meditation practice, by all means continue doing that just be a little bit more detached from the outcome. 

 

Of course if you are very stressed individual and feel like it is debilitating your daily life consider other activities such as: connecting with nature, drawing, reading, thai-chi or hatha yoga practice. Anything that can connect you with the state of "flow" could do that for you. 

[pluto]

Cut down on sugar intake, load up on magnesium and calming herbs.