What To Do When No One Takes Your Depression Seriously

[renegade_bee]

I've been suffering from depression for years now and I'm only eigtheen. I also have social anxiety and depersonalization as well as eating disorders and suicidal thoughts (not very seriously but they appear in my mind from time to time).

I've told my parents this (except the suicidal thoughts) and have been going to a psychologist however I still think that they don't take it very seriously. When I ask for their help in eating healthier they say they will but they basically don't do shit, I try to control my diet as much as I can but most of it is in their hands and they keep serving horrible foods (standard western diet) that are only making my depression worse.

When I point this out to them they just get mad and start to argue with me untill I loose my shit and basically want to shout like a maniac. My dad especially also drinks every day from dinner until he goes to bed so the arguments are an incoherent mess and its even more frustrating.

This is just one example of many.

[Dhana Choko]

Why do you need them to take your depression seriously?

[Ayla]

@DrMatthewsausage

Don't be so quick to put the label of "depression" on you. That does not help. 

Teal Swan helped me when I was in that state. Use her videos to get you out to a point where you can walk by yourself. 

[Simon Zackrisson]

As previously mentioned, perhaps try to get a higher perspective, meditate and initiate a more spiritual setting. 

Another thing that can be very healthy, while underrated, is to talk to a therapist. What are your feelings towards this?

 

Edit: Damn I missed it, you are talking to a psychologist. 

Ok. So what is your feeling towards that? Have you guys talked about medicine? 

Edited March 3, 2016 by Simon Zackrisson

[Guest]

I don't think you can influence other people so much. Instead work on yourself and resolve your depressions issue. What helped me with depression was discovering Personal Development and working on my thinking mind and my subconscious mind. Also having a life purpose really helps...and working out too. Fitness. Meditation of course too. I got of of depression as soon as I started to be obessed with Self Help and started to create my ultimate vision for my life, then working towards it.

[Simon Zackrisson]

@The Alchemist Indeed. 

Try to work yourself up in a warrior mode, watch a lot of inspirational videos, think about how you wish to sculpt your life. 

 

 

This video has perhaps kept me off the edge sometimes.

Edit: wrong video, it's kinda nice but little annoying

Edited March 3, 2016 by Simon Zackrisson

[Simon Zackrisson]

Actually, it was these videos: 

 

Part 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1geoD61y1_s

Part 2

 

Edited March 3, 2016 by Simon Zackrisson

[Kelley White]

11 hours ago, DrMatthewsausage said:

I've been suffering from depression for years now and I'm only eighteen. I also have social anxiety and depersonalize as well as eating disorders and suicidal thoughts (not very seriously but they appear in my mind from time to time).

I've told my parents this (except the suicidal thoughts) and have been going to a psychologist however I still think that they don't take it very seriously. When I ask for their help in eating healthier they say they will but they basically don't do shit, I try to control my diet as much as I can but most of it is in their hands and they keep serving horrible foods (standard western diet) that are only making my depression worse.

When I point this out to them they just get mad and start to argue with me until I loose my shit and basically want to shout like a maniac. My dad especially also drinks every day from dinner until he goes to bed so the arguments are an incoherent mess and its even more frustrating.

This is just one example of many.

Hi @DrMatthewsausage.  I'm curious about a few things:

1.  You are 18 and going to a Psychologist.   What does your psychologist advise and is your psychologist willing to have a session(s) with you and your parents to help you communicate through this issue together?  Sometimes taking parents/a loved one to a session(s) can allow the therapist to bridge the communication gap and bring resolution?

2.  I can appreciate that it is challenging to change old habits when you feel the people around you are either not supporting or sabotaging you.  What are some solutions you can think of that don't depend upon your parent's support? 

• Can you get your own place or share a place with like minded friends?
• Do you have a job and you can buy/prepare your own food separately?
• Can you create a plan to make either one or two happen?

3.  As an ex sugar/ process foods junkie I personally find a causation correlation between diet and mood regulation.  Many psychologists also agree and advocate for better self care/diet as a part of effective treatment.   So do family doctors who can also advocate with parents.

4.  Remember its not a linear process, remember your parents are older than you and may be more resistant to change especially if they don't see the causation and correlation between diet and mood.

5.  The drinking?  I understand.  I just finished two years of living with someone like this.  Its draining, its very emotionally toxic, its very hard to be positive or even function in an environment like that.  Please take care of you first and foremost and if you can change your living situation for the better I suspect you will find that your depression, the panic and depersonalization will begin to improve.  

• Are you sleeping? 
• Are you getting breaks at friends homes or time outs? 
• Do you have any 12 step groups for family members living with Alcoholics around you, you can attend for support?

Its been nine going on ten months since I did an intervention and I am just now starting to be less hyper vigilant, have longer periods of time where I am not depressed or afraid. 

I finally managed to quit smoking, I'm recovering from an ulcer and  eating much better, I'm not as panicked, I can go out and socialize now, before I was agoraphobic.   I am finally reclaiming my life.

I suspect much of what you are experiencing is situational at the moment and very normal for what you are living with.  

Do the best you can, and cut yourself some slack for doing a great job coping with a challenging situation at such a young age.   You're here and asking questions, you're in therapy,you sound very wise for your age to me.  You're doing great.

Worry less about them getting it.  You can't make them get it.  All you can do is make the best choices for you.   I wish you all the best.

Edit: 

You also might find this video helpful

 

 

[Kelley White]

9 hours ago, Simon Zackrisson said:

Ok. So what is your feeling towards that? Have you guys talked about medicine? 

@Simon Zackrisson Great point!  @DrMatthewsausage it could be a good short term solution until you can get into a more stable environment.   I personally am very anti meds...after this last experience I am doing short term meds.   A referral from your psychologist to a psychiatrist could be good for meds and advocating with your folks for better diet.

[Kelley White]

9 hours ago, The Son said:

I don't think you can influence other people so much. Instead work on yourself and resolve your depressions issue. What helped me with depression was discovering Personal Development and working on my thinking mind and my subconscious mind.

After years of therapy, I have to agree with @The Son on this one. 

[Kelley White]

9 hours ago, Simon Zackrisson said:

This video has perhaps kept me off the edge sometimes.

Is that Kevin Smith and Joe Rogan?   This is where I have to be good and remind myself to watch it later.   @Simon Zackrisson thanks for the error.

[renegade_bee]

@Simon Zackrisson Ive been going once a week for the last 5 weeks to my psychologist but

i don't get the feeling we are making much process. About the meds, i dont know, I'd rather not.

And thanks for the videos!

@Dhana Choko I'm in a very fragile state of mind right now, and them not taking me seriously and (subconsciously) sabotaging me are making my situation worse.

@Kelley White My psychologist has'nt advised much, I don't really like her. She has made an appointment for me with a psychiatrist. Even if I wanted a family session - which I dont - it wouldn't happen because they don't even acknowledge that there is a problem.

I don't have my friends (social anxiety) so going to live in my own place is not an option right now. I don't have any money either and no time to get a job (I'm already struggling with my tests in school). As of now I can only plan.

I don't sleep very well, I hate school so I don't really have a lot of time-outs. As for the support programs - it's not like my dad is violent or anything; but when he's drunk it's just another problem.

And thanks. I wish you all the best as well.

 

[Kelley White]

On 3/4/2016 at 7:57 AM, DrMatthewsausage said:

My psychologist hasn't advised much, I don't really like her.

Hi @DrMatthewsausage ,

I suspect its challenging to make progress with a mental health issue with a professional you don't like?  Can you trust her if you don't like her?  It's okay to not click with a therapist and to find a different one that you do like and trust.  Is this a  possibility for you?

On 3/4/2016 at 7:57 AM, DrMatthewsausage said:

She has made an appointment for me with a psychiatrist.

Good?  Perhaps you will like the psychiatrist and they can recommend or refer you to a therapist that they think will be a better fit?

On 3/4/2016 at 7:57 AM, DrMatthewsausage said:

Even if I wanted a family session - which I dont

If you don't want it, you choose to not want it.   That's okay to choose but it is a choice.

On 3/4/2016 at 7:57 AM, DrMatthewsausage said:

it wouldn't happen because they don't even acknowledge that there is a problem

I don't know this for certain I don't know your folks as well as you do?    Its okay to make the time about just you right now, again I would try to at least find a counselor you like though so it has benefit for you.  Does it benefit you at all at present?

On 3/4/2016 at 7:57 AM, DrMatthewsausage said:

I don't have my friends (social anxiety) so going to live in my own place is not an option right now. I don't have any money either and no time to get a job (I'm already struggling with my tests in school). As of now I can only plan.

How does this make you feel?  Can you visualize the plan and make small steps towards making the plan a reality?   Do you feel any pleasure or hope from having a plan?  

On 3/4/2016 at 7:57 AM, DrMatthewsausage said:

I don't sleep very well, I hate school so I don't really have a lot of time-outs. As for the support programs - it's not like my dad is violent or anything; but when he's drunk it's just another problem.

The sleep thing is huge.  I had a Dr. Explain that if we don't get a full 8 hours, we don't get the REM sleep we need where the brain processes events cross referencing both lobes of the brain.  In other words, no sleep and the brain actually loses some of its physiological ability to function well. 

Alcoholism is a very unkind disease and it creates much trauma and chaos for all involved.  Its normal to minimize the impact its having on us even to ourselves.  

It sounds to me like you have very normal feelings for the struggles you are facing right now.  I regret you are facing such profound challenges but I am very happy you are here, that you are focusing on reaching out for support, and I sincerely hope you can find a professional you like and a plan to get a space of your own.   This will pass, you can take the small steps to become independent and heal, it just may take time.

Thank you so much for being brave enough to share so openly and I wish you the best moving forward.   Hang in there, be patient and kind to you. 

[Hengame]

Hi you are very young but very brilliant in mind and very deep thinking, if you can find a way to make your own lunch or dinner by ur own, hope you can find a way for this. Second of course you can find time to watch and listen to Leo videos very deeply and follow his advices all of them were helpful for me I did not care pig other did not take me serious it was important for me to follow and stay committed on what I descided and planed to change my life really. My young friend stay strong and take advantage of situation to finish school and find a temporary job. Stay strong and be proud of urself . 

[Kelley White]

34 minutes ago, Hengame said:

Hi you are very young but very brilliant in mind and very deep thinking, if you can find a way to make your own lunch or dinner by ur own, hope you can find a way for this.

@Hengame what a wonderful comment and suggestion. 

35 minutes ago, Hengame said:

it was important for me to follow and stay committed on what I descided and planed to change my life really. My young friend stay strong and take advantage of situation to finish school and find a temporary job. Stay strong and be proud of urself . 

Awesome suggestions!  Thank you so much.

[Anna]

I was in the same situation years ago, but seriously what do you expect your parents to do? It won't blow your mental problems away if you feel like they take it seriously. You are already aware of the fact that you have a mental health problem, which is a good step. You've been seeking professional help, also a good thing to do! Well done so far!

I know how it feels, because I literally had the same combination of mental health problems and I was crying for help for years. It always felt like my parents are not willing to see how much it tortured me. Just one day I realized how much my mom loves me and she is kind of limited in helping me with mental health problems, because she never experienced it. I appreciate everything she's doing for me.

And my dad, oh well, he's an aggressive alcoholic. I will never forget the day when he stood in front of me laughing about the cuts on my legs and arms. It was hell. Today I know how to deal with him and his behavior. It's ok.

So what I did is quite simple: be aware of your mental health problems, search for root cause, create solutions / find your way out, DO IT!

And I in fact tell them about my problems today, but I found a way that works. When I'm talking to my mom about my depression it's more like:"Oh mom I'm frustrated. This whole situation is sucking up my energy and I don't know what to do...bla bla" She reacts more open to sentences like this. She sees my problem and helps me finding a solution. You don't have to name the whole thing depression in front of a person. Not everyone is able to cope with things like this. Most of the time their mind is closed immediately if they hear words like this. Oh premature judgments

You are already on a good way, keep going! But don't forget: you are responsible for your life.

By the way, this video may help:

 

 

[Kelley White]

2 minutes ago, Anna said:

I was in the same situation years ago, but seriously what do you expect your parents to do? It won't blow your mental problems away if you feel like they take it seriously. You are already aware of the fact that you have a mental health problem, which is a good step. You've been seeking professional help, also a good thing to do! Well done so far!

I know how it feels, because I literally had the same combination of mental health problems and I was crying for help for years. It always felt like my parents are not willing to see how much it tortured me. Just one day I realized how much my mom loves me and she is kind of limited in helping me with mental health problems, because she never experienced it. I appreciate everything she's doing for me.

And my dad, oh well, he's an aggressive alcoholic. I will never forget the day when he stood in front of me laughing about the cuts on my legs and arms. It was hell. Today I know how to deal with him and his behavior. It's ok.

So what I did is quite simple: be aware of your mental health problems, search for root cause, create solutions / find your way out, DO IT!

And I in fact tell them about my problems today, but I found a way that works. When I'm talking to my mom about my depression it's more like:"Oh mom I'm frustrated. This whole situation is sucking up my energy and I don't know what to do...bla bla" She reacts more open to sentences like this. She sees my problem and helps me finding a solution. You don't have to name the whole thing depression in front of a person. Not everyone is able to cope with things like this. Most of the time their mind is closed immediately if they hear words like this. Oh premature judgments

You are already on a good way, keep going! But don't forget: you are responsible for your life.

By the way, this video may help:

@Anna  I regret you experienced many of these things.   It sounds like you are doing a rather good job yourself.     Thank you for being so encouraging and sharing some tools that really worked for you.   I haven't listened to this particular video of Leo's yet so I will check it out.  Thank you for bring it to my attention.  

[Anna]

@Kelley White Thank you. I try my best. I don't want anyone to experience such bad feelings. It's a waste of the wonderful time we have here on earth.

Leo helped me to finally find the root causes of my mental health problems. Especially the videos about depression, negative thinking and judgements were really beneficial to me.

[Kelley White]

@Anna, you are very welcome.

1 minute ago, Anna said:

I try my best. I don't want anyone to experience such bad feelings. It's a waste of the wonderful time we have here on earth.

I get this.

1 minute ago, Anna said:

Leo helped me to finally find the root causes of my mental health problems. Especially the videos about depression, negative thinking and judgements were really beneficial to me.

I have had more growth in the past several months between this forum and Leo's work, the work of others, and some amazing friends and therapists than I have in a long time.    I've been doing this very intensely for five years now,  but this has taken it to a new level for me and I am very thankful.   I have to agree with it being beneficial. 

[renegade_bee]

@Kelley White I don't know if another psychologist would be the best thing to do. I've only been there a handful of times and it is my impression that it might get better since we are still just getting to know each other. As of no I can think of no real benefit from the sessions except, perhaps, a slight sence of relieve.

As for the plan, it's vague, I don't really have concrete steps to take.