How do I eradicate weak, half-assed and mediocritive living.

[Lorcan]

At 16, I feel I have pissed away much of my life already even though I discovered actualized.org and the whole personal development community at 13.

THOUSANDS of hours into video games. If not tens of thousands.

As my life purpose I want to elevate the human race, I want to have society that has higher consciousness values and in it's operation and day to day activities , the collective populace reflects these values. To this I need power. This might entail to take on the role of a leader, a ruler, maybe a follower or supporter. A revolutionary none the less.

It annoys me how mediocre I am. What kind of revolutionary whines on forums asking for help?

And perhaps some of you have the same/similar purpose ( I highly doubt, from looking around the forum of the years, this particular life purpose of changing global political culture and how large masses of people function together is not a popular one. I think people to tend to stray away from it as the reckon someone else will sort it out.)

 

The problem of growing up in ordinary circumstances: Case in point - lack of external motives. Motivation is left ENTIRELY to self-discipline

There is a concept known as brute forcing. Brute forcing (or beast mode) to me is when you go at something, a goal , 110% and push through ALL the suffering no matter what, you say fuck it to everything else, all the shit that gets in your way and you keep going despite major suffering that may be inflicting. In this mode of being one is highly productive. This mode however is tough on ones morale and it takes big feats of willpower to be able to endure the suffering.

Yet. People have successfully pulled it off.... People who have experienced great trauma that is

Take David Goggins for example. Watch the first 2 minutes and a half of this video. You will get the idea.

 

This guy HURT bad. Highly Abusive Parents, Constant name-calling, Death threats, Teachers giving him shit.

But now look what this spurred him to do. What this man can do should not be possible. He can run 100 miles non-stop. 

Or lets to consider Wim Hof. His wife kills herself without him really knowing why. Goes on to climb mount Kilomanjaro is his short, and nearly climbed mount everest in shorts but had frostbite problems in his legs just 1000 meters away from the top.

 

Comfort makes me hollow, Comfort makes me weak. Comfort leads to in-action. Comfort leads to mediocrity.

Now consider this. This boy who wants to take on such a feat has grown up in ordinary circumstances. Little trauma. No highly abusive parents, No divorces, Sure every now and again he has his hang up with his parents or school, but nothing to really stir him. To push him. No kids at school calling him names or saying stuff like "You cant do X, you cant do Y, are you out of your mind? You will never get anywhere in life"

That boy is me, and perhaps many many others with such a huge life purpose.

I am have lived, and still live, a comfortable cushy , but hollowing, existence.

Daily, I reflect on my life. Occasionally I will do what if statements such as "What if I wake up 4:00 o clock in the morning and go running everyday"

"What if I just beast-mode it tomorrow, 1 hour cold exposure, 1 hour of calisthenics, 1 hour of reading, 2 hours of meditation"

 

Every day, I wake up, I go on the computer, play some video games, go off the computer, do some exercise, eat healthy. That is it. Rinse repeat. How can the wannabe emperor of man piss away his time so stupidly. Again and again and again.

In a way, I kind of which I had some major trauma inflicted one me in some way, to force me into growth.

I wish I could be sent to a Sage School, where I would be forced to become a sage. No such school exists.

 

If I am to become a Modern day Marcus Aurelius (so no Crucifixions and sex slave partys for the shit and giggles).

What is the key to self-discipline? How do I unlock my true strength? I am SICK of feeling hollow. Not feeling sad, but this subtle creeping feeling I could be doing so much more, and how do I maintain self-discipline? What to do when de-moralization sets in. Help.

 

[Enizeo]

@Lorcan I feel you. Grew up in comfort, living in comfort right now. Stuck.

[Sharpadox]

I think that I'm in a similiar position that you are in. I wish I would be doing more with my life. The answer to all of this in my opinion comes down to what causes motivation and drive and that is a persons' psychology (subconscious beliefs, values, etc.). There are ways to change yourself, I'd suggest watching videos and/or books on the subject: 

 , 

NLP is an area of psychology that often creates subconscious change faster, you could look it up if you want.