Mastery vs big picture

[Amit]

I think, I got a problem of being too slow while taking decisions. I feel like I need to be determined what is exact and correct thing to do so I just dabble around. After some time I don't find the thing interesting anymore and just go to next thing. I can't manage my tasks, as I need to feel certain before doing anything and that makes everything too slow. I miss opportunities. Off course I learn things in the process but same time am I not lagging myself behind and being unproductive??

And my mind  comes with the answer that you need not worry about anything else. I do things of wider scope but couldn't able to go deep and focus and master anything. What should be my correct mindset. Help me actualized people!!!

[Leo Gura]

Learn to discipline yourself and stick with projects.

Without that skill, you're basically fucked in life.

But also, only start projects which are highly meaningful to you.

[Amit]

@Leo Gura from childhood, I had tendency of pleasing people. After I became conscious of this, I want to just not hear from anyone else. 

I am from India, my parents do agriculture and basically just surviving for basic necessities. Our family is joint which consists of brothers of my father and grandfather, all living under one roof. But they used to fight regularly, when I was a child. My father was a weed addict and just didn't care about me. There was financial problems and in that environment I was raised in. Yet , I was mostly alone as I felt most safe and secure. Because my uncle and other elders beat me if I am doing some thing else other than what I was told to.

So finally somehow I enjoyed academics though the school was very bad. I got into a very reputed college in india. I didn't even know what it was I am going to do, yet it was a dream college for everyone and I was very lucky to be in it, I was given civil engineering. I had no guidance, no mentors and on the top of that I didn't even know how to communicate with other people. 

Whatever the case, inside my heart I want to be the best I can, so I tried to fight. So I had taken my education in Hindi medium and most of the people came from good english medium schools, so I couldn't keep up with them as I just don't know what to do and how to do. 

So in college I dabbled around and got the company of stoners, daily weed smokers. It gave some peace to my depression. But my studies suffered and after graduation I didn't understand thinks clearly. Somehow I got my degree.

The best thing I did in college was watching your videos Leo, and that's where I felt like I found what I was searching for my whole life till then. I off course didn't understand much of what he taught but still I got the big picture perspectives and began to understand reality. You helped me come out not only from my depression but my addictions such as weed, fap, porn. I was on my way to be a software developer because of you only. So finally I got a job after some months of practice, which after couple of months, I am leaving this job because of too much stress and workaholism expectations from my employer. 

You gave me inner strength and consciousness. Still I am so much in dark, which I can't even know . But you know leo, right??

Now, the situation is that I am making so many healthy relationship around me, be it professional or social life. People like me from their hearts. But I want to do more leo, I want to take path of the wisdom. I want to bring light to other people but still I am not able to do it, and get resistance, I want to do so much more, that I become inefficient in the process and get in depression some times. I hide things from others because I feel like they don't actually want to know it. 

I don't know what's meaningful to me. I feel like whatever you say is good enough reason to do it. I don't know what is the best thing for me to do. I do so many things and can't find myself making result in either. I want to apply discipline but I can't find out my focus. How to proceed to know what's meaningful and what's not.?

[Key Elements]

This is how I discovered mine. I try to pick something that I'm interested in and also, it should help me survive. Anything worthwhile always takes skills and mastery.

[frnsh]

I know being a people pleasing person too well. For me a lot of it comes from when I saw that the cost of not pleasing your family in childhood was a bit too high!

Probably being a bit of perfectionist comes from the same source. Hesitating for too long in decision making to be sure the result would be the best possible is a bit opposite of being chill about most things. For me, meditation and letting go of things helped a lot. Didn't make me careless, but just to get rid of that "too much" carefulness and hesitation. 

[Amit]

@Key Elements The main problem I face is that I value freedom the most. So for that I becomes alone and then feel lack of resources. Yes, I will try to go step by step from now on. And will use this forum as my support group. 

@frnsh hey you just found root of the problems I mentioned, thanks for that. I found out the same while contemplating but couldn't share it with anybody. I was recently trying to make relationships with my family members more positive and in that process I sometime feel depression. I am overwhelmed by whatever is happening around me. It's too difficult to manage my life so I sometime just leave everything. And then this forum always provides me support and the push me upwards again. It feels so good when someone understands you.

 

 

[Key Elements]

@Amit

I just listened to this interesting speech. At the end, she just said to solve any problem that you're interested in. Or, just start to solve any problems. Yes, it made sense to me.

[frnsh]

55 minutes ago, Amit said:

 

@frnsh hey you just found root of the problems I mentioned, thanks for that. I found out the same while contemplating but couldn't share it with anybody. I was recently trying to make relationships with my family members more positive and in that process I sometime feel depression. I am overwhelmed by whatever is happening around me. It's too difficult to manage my life so I sometime just leave everything. And then this forum always provides me support and the push me upwards again. It feels so good when someone understands you.

I'm glad to be able to help. I feel the same many times when I want to get closer to my family members. For everyone family is a tricky thing because the more you care for them, the more their judgments, opinions and hurtful words hurt. Of course the opposite applies also, their niceness warms the heart a lot. But the general thing is that you didn't choose them like you chose your friends, they may not know at all what you really are and they most likely think way differently from how you and your friends do. For me it works the best when I interact with them with a more open heart and a bit more of closed judging perspective.  

45 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

@Amit

I just listened to this interesting speech. At the end, she just said to solve any problem that you're interested in. Or, just start to solve any problems. Yes, it made sense to me.

The speech was great! Thanks

[Amit]

@Key Elements yes, she is right. I think, we automatically and gradually move towards our passion. It's not something we find one day. It's a life long process. But then we need to also understand how it fits into bigger picture, and accordingly plan strategically to massive success. It's a blend of planning but then also being flexible. And in the process we should not get stuck.

Yeah beautiful talk, thanks!!

[Amit]

@frnsh everything is good when we are conscious about what actually happening. But there are times when we feel low and in those times we judge, we project.

[cavedraw1]

it funny you write this at this moment,as I kinda relate maybe with something I just wrote on my web-blog:

"I personally related to "Jacques Derrida's, "Idea of looking at something,then seeing the "Opposite,or opposing aspect of it",or for example: instead of judging something by " what I don't like about it, is there something constructive or can I gain (growth), by some aspect of it. Many say Derrida's ideas are hard,difficult to understand,yet if I look at is "Works",and keep this in mind,it is most helpful, another point I always keep in mind,when studying Leo's,Plato's,Derrida's and Works of anyone,,I might not completely agree with them,yet is there something "I can Gain from them ".   http://michaelemeryart.zohosites.com/egoic-reactions.html

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Key Elements said:

At the end, she just said to solve any problem that you're interested in.

In other words, find your passion

[Key Elements]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

In other words, find your passion

Of course, but like she said in the video clip, it won't come right away. It takes trial and error to reach what you really want to do with your life (mastery + life purpose). You still have to work to survive along the way. 

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Key Elements said:

Of course, but like she said in the video clip, it won't come right away. It takes trial and error to reach what you really want to do with your life (mastery + life purpose). You still have to work to survive along the way. 

Of course