Why does this always happen?!

[Seed]

Meditating going well...

LP soaring....

Emotional / personal stuff manageable...

Then BAM! Panic attacks out of nowhere, can’t sleep, food is making me nauseous... anxiety bubbling up...

i guess I just stay mindful and wait for it all to pass ? :-( 

I just get fed up cause I’ve been working so hard for over a year now, just get reminded that I’m not getting anywhere. I feel so weak.

[Joseph Maynor]

Seems like there’s a need for you to add something else into your practice to get at things from a different angle.  I would suggest some Enlightenment work.  I’m pretty much always flat-lined emotionally now.  I used to have more problems with neurosis.  Enlightenment is the cure all for problems with neurosis.  Of course, Enlightenment is scary too because you’re deprogramming your self-image.

Edited March 9, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Nahm]

@Seed  Sit through it and it’ll lose it’s punch after a few. Try to laugh about it after it processes, in the sense that you can see the panic attack is you, not a seperate thing that could hurt you.  It’s you just as much as anything else. It’s just some depth being reached and it’s part of a bigger process. You’re doing good. Beautiful pic btw. 

Also, keep ‘working hard’ but also see that everything you’re doing can also be done without any effort. The efforting is actually a thing of the mind. Where there is efforting, there is a story about “me” attached to what is happening. Observe what’s happening, and let go (as much as possible now) of the me/body/brain perspective. If you lift a cup, you are no more the hand than the cup. But thinking you’re the body / hand, adds falsity, and feels less than ‘flow’.  A very onpurpose diet clears the thoughts and makes this effortlessness state easier to become aware of. 

[Seed]

Thanks Nahm... what’s an onpurpose diet ?

[Nahm]

@Seed A conscious one that is a distant second to prefence and conditioning.  Eat for the life you want by giving the body what is optimal.  

[Seed]

I’ve tried that before and it only helps temporarily as a placebo and and a boost to my ego x 

[frnsh]

 

[Leo Gura]

Of course that happens. Ego backlash is to be expected. Every complex system exhibits inertia, otherwise it couldn't survive.

If you read The Big Leap, you're experiencing the upper limit problem.

[Seed]

 

32 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course that happens. Ego backlash is to be expected. Every complex system exhibits inertia, otherwise it couldn't survive.

If you read The Big Leap, you're experiencing the upper limit problem.

Inerta cause of the changes ? Should I up the mediatation? I just want into make it stop. My mouth is dry, cant swallow. Can’t think. Can’t make big movements.. 

[Leo Gura]

@Seed The changes are a reaction of your mind against real growth. It's trying to erase the changes you've been making, so that you stay the same.

Stay mindful, take it slow, and stay the course. Don't give in to your mind's trickery. It will come up with a thousand tricks to get you to fall back into your old self. Your job is to outsmart your mind.

[aurum]

@Seed

Keep goingggggggg.

It's just your own shadow. And like a shadow, there's nothing really there.

[Seed]

I'm going to spend the next 24 hours in a hotel room and meditate until something shifts... I don't know what else to do. All I know, is I can't fight it. I can barely move.. and I am getting dehydrated even though I am drinking water non stop. 

 

[Azrael]

@Seed, take a bath and relax a little bit.

[Seed]

50 minutes ago, Azrael said:

@Seed, take a bath and relax a little bit.

didn’t think of that!!! ?Jokes... Unfortunately, a bath doesn’t have any effect whatsoever on the symptoms of PTSD... they are extremely persistent!   And I have at least one bath a day, even with added lavender oils. Damn! ?

Edited March 10, 2018 by Seed

[Nahm]

@Seed

16 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Seed A conscious one that is a distant second to prefence and conditioning.  Eat for the life you want by giving the body what is optimal.  

Hi, hope you’re doing well. Just noticed a typo... I meant a conscious diet which puts preference and conditioning second. 

[pluto]

Fast not just diet but from physical reality as a whole. Find yourself, come back

[Guest Quanty]

You are connecting with the akasha, red pill, root chakra, adam's apple. It is allright to have panic attacks. This is a sign that you are with the focus attention to much in the head. Move to the thymus and breath, next to coccyx/anus/ talons, next tyroids, etc.

 

Namaste, Mfks!