Ego backlash

[Andre Quinonez]

So during the past two months I finally felt like I was on my way to getting my shit together but I started microdosing  about two weeks ago and the days off the microdose I felt so unmotivated and a bit depressed. Because of this I decided to take 200 ug of 1P-LSD  a couple of days ago. I felt like I had learned so much and had incredible insights but the last few days I've felt so unmotivated. I haven't exercised at all, haven't meditated, I've been eating junk food, I've had zero willpower to do the things I know I have to do and I've even felt a bit bitter and depressed. I've read a couple of times of this thing called ego backlash and I was wondering if this is a common thing or if anyone has ever experienced something like this and how can I get my shit together again even when I feel so unmotivated to do anything. 

[aurum]

@Andre Quinonez

Yeah this is common. Always remember that your results in this work look a lot more like the stock market than just a straight line moving up.

The important thing is to not quit. Get back on all those habits asap, this is temporary.

[Vipassana]

i've found that i am very prone to deception after trips, specially if i dont embody the things the psychedelic was pointing at. During the come down is your chance to spot how sneakily your deceptive mind comes and that same sneaky deceptive mind the mind is. Aim for another breakthrough trip months down the line and slowly work towards the temporary death of the deceptive and the temporary revelation of the woke mind

[molosku]

I had an intense awakening experience two month back, was crying and laughing uncontrollably for 30min straight. 

After that I had a HUGE ego backlash, I just spiraled into depression for an hour or so. It seemes like life is pointless, I will have a shit life, everything is shit, life is suffering and it would be better to just off myself to save me from this hell of existance. Then it faded away and I was back to normal baseline happiness and consciousness. Also my mind was quick to deny my experience as just some odd anomalie.

So yeah, these things happen, just notice it and wait it out Do things that make you feel good and happy. Be aware of this: your ego tells you that you are now unmotivated and everything is dull and stupid, then your super ego comes in and says "No! You were supposes to be bigger than these petty emotions, you were supposed to be spiritual and happy!" Try to see trough this battlefield before the fight gets too intense and put down your sword and shield. Lay on the grass instead. 

 

Edited March 8, 2018 by molosku

[ADD]

6 minutes ago, molosku said:

Be aware of this: your ego tells you that you are now unmotivated and everything is dull and stupid, then your super ego comes in and says "No! You were supposes to be bigger than these petty emotions, you were supposed to be spiritual and happy!" Try to see trough this battlefield before the fight gets too intense and lay down your sword and shield. Lay on the grass instead. 

 

For me it works when i get fearful thoughts, instead of trying to fight them i give them like inner "yes". Then i feel the ego goes confused it's like "wtf you are not supposed to accept these?" And i just sit there with calmness, smile often comes on my face.

[student]

It is common. You are changing and that means that what you are actually changing are years of habits, repetitive behaviours and thoughts. It is hard, homeostasis is present. But as you continue to always get back to your real self, to clarity (it doesn't matter that you oscillate), you will start to see what is more important, more real, more personal, unique. You will gradually start to see superficial things for what they are, ephemeral things, without real value for an unconscious person, just distractions.

Also, don't count on psychedelics for finding yourself, for increasing consciousness. You need to put more effort, work. You need various modalities.

[MarinM]

I had biggest backlashes after biggest improvements. Progress is mostly going two steps ahead one backwards and maybe even three steps backwards. You might feel like everything u did was useless since you failed lower when you started but thats the journey. Take your time when you have to and recommit. Try not to beat yourself up on the backlashes it will just make it bigger and longer