How to effectively manage my urges

[Hardkill]

So, I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I am getting tired of looking up porn and getting myself off privately. However, I have a high libido and am craving for sex. Yet, I can't find any girl through legal means to help me blow off some steam, if you know what I mean. Leo has mentioned before that you can't just meditate away and wait for it to pass, unless you are well over 40 years old and have had an ample amount of sexual/love experience with a girl (or girls) in your life. However, I don't want to pay for a hooker, because I don't want to risk getting into trouble with the law. Hell, I don't even have much money of my own and my helicopter mom tries to make sure that I don't just try to have sex with a random stranger. What am I supposed to do about this?

 

Edited March 7, 2018 by Hardkill

[Charlotte]

Join the no-fap on here?

I do know there's other ways to channel your sexual energy, maybe have a Google?

[Hardkill]

28 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

Join the no-fap on here?

I do know there's other ways to channel your sexual energy, maybe have a Google?

Wait, but wouldn't that just make me even more frustrated if I neurotically suppressed my urges perpetually? I am a sexual creature just like everybody else. I kinda wish Leo made a video on No Fap. He seems like he would have a very sensible and yet practical approach to understanding and dealing with masturbation.

[Vipassana]

@Hardkill how old are you?

[Hardkill]

@Vipassana I am 30 

[onacloudynight]

Here are some options:

• Get good at pickup/dating and have sex with lots of women.
• Tinder/online dating
• Keep watching porn.
• Maybe get a sex doll or some male sex toys to make it seem more realistic.
• Become a hardcore yogi and master your sex drive, so you never have to be a slave to your sexual desires again.

Edited March 7, 2018 by onacloudynight

[ADD]

You are making getting laid too difficult for yourself. Do you ever even talk to women? It's very easy to get laid once you get comfortable talking to women.

[Psyche_92]

You might be surprised at how your "high sex drive" can be induced by a porn addiction, and not a normal state of being. Have you ever tried quitting? I would at least tell you to cut out all of the porn to see if it changes anything. I doubt that the "urges" you are talking about are natural. They are probably just induced by addiction.

Join: 

 

Edited March 7, 2018 by Psyche_92

[Ether]

@Hardkill Let yourself feel the urges. And it will pass for some time when you are done accepting. Then one day it will come back, keep accepting...

[Hardkill]

1 hour ago, ADD said:

You are making getting laid too difficult for yourself. Do you ever even talk to women? It's very easy to get laid once you get comfortable talking to women.

That’s not the issue right now. As I said in my first post on here, my mom doesn’t trust me with trying to approach random women and having sex with them. Every time, I go out of my home, my mom always calls me every single half hour to an hour. If I stay out past the allotted time she gave me, then she will constantly call me until I get back home. I know, this is very lame and unseemly for a man of my age, but she constantly watches over as a hyper neurotic helicopter my mom.

Edited March 7, 2018 by Hardkill

[Hardkill]

44 minutes ago, Ether said:

@Hardkill Let yourself feel the urges. And it will pass for some time when you are done accepting. Then one day it will come back, keep accepting...

So why does Leo say that u can’t just meditate your fundamental urges away?

 

[Ether]

@Hardkill idk, maybe he had some unpleasant experiences. But it worked for me. I rarely think about sex now.

The key is not believe anything, no matter how scary or promissing it looks like, but see it for yourself. And not just one experience but multiple.

[ADD]

@Hardkill Wow that sucks, you are a grown ass man. You need to set boundaries for your mom. Maybe try to get some job and move out from your parents house? 

 

[Ether]

1 minute ago, ADD said:

@Hardkill Wow that sucks, you are a grown ass man. You need to set boundaries for your mom. Maybe try to get some job and move out from your parents house? 

 

yeah, btw, this is your life, nobody can live it for you So gain control over it

[Steph1988]

@Hardkill U live with your parents? then maybe u should aim for moving out as a first priority and resist your mom, work towards making yourself independent, your mother or anyone else should be completely out of the picture with this, she should have no power over you whatsoever.

You do whatever the hell you want.

And when your independent you work hard towards your goal in your own time.

 

[Shin]

Best thing to do is to find your life purpose and work hard on it.

You won't have much time to crave anything at that point ?

Edited March 7, 2018 by Shin

[Shin]

4 hours ago, Hardkill said:

So why does Leo say that u can’t just meditate your fundamental urges away?

 

You can in a sense.

He means being conscious and not act on the urge (not sitted meditation per say).

You can have an extreme urge and don't feel like acting on it and being at peace with it.

It requires just to be conscious and detached enough.

Edited March 7, 2018 by Shin

[Elisabeth]

3 hours ago, Hardkill said:

That’s not the issue right now. As I said in my first post on here, my mom doesn’t trust me with trying to approach random women and having sex with them. Every time, I go out of my home, my mom always calls me every single half hour to an hour. If I stay out past the allotted time she gave me, then she will constantly call me until I get back home. I know, this is very lame and unseemly for a man of my age, but she constantly watches over as a hyper neurotic helicopter my mom.

Dude, if you're 30, you can't let your mom do that. 

Don't answer. Switch off your phone. LEARN ABOUT BOUNDARIES

Move the heck out. 

Learn to take care of yourself.

I promise you no girl is gonna ever find you attractive if you talk to your mother every hour. NO. GIRL. EVER. 

[Shroomdoctor]

@Hardkill you need to get your shit together and life your own life. Move out, get a job, then you can think further.

[Key Elements]

13 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Leo has mentioned before that you can't just meditate away and wait for it to pass, unless you are well over 40 years old and have had an ample amount of sexual/love experience with a girl (or girls) in your life.

Leo said a lot of things and not just this. The break off point doesn’t have to be at age 40. And also, life isn't just about sex. You seem to be too focused on it according to your posts/threads.

I would really encourage you to look into what he said here:

Just a note: sex can come with a lot of consequences and responsibilities. If I was in your situation, I would be more focused on job/career/life purpose. You already have some skills that you could use: getting a master's in teaching & martial arts. Why not teach martial arts?