Shortness Insecurity

[Steelheart]

I'm a short guy around 5 foot 6. I find myself thinking about this alot and wishing i was 4 inches taller. I think because I'm short i have limiting beliefs with women and sports. I find myself comparing myself to other short guys all the time. I keep finding myself looking for validation which i get sometimes but it soon fades. I listened to Leo's video real growth vs fake growth. I've only managed fake growth. Does anybody have a suggestion how i can overcome this insecurity? 

[abrakamowse]

In my experience, the best way to silence the inner critic was thought meditation.

I would recommend you to meditate one hour everyday at the same time. It changes a lot.

Mindfulness meditation and self-inquiry are good.

[Guest]

Watch Leo's videos on:

Neurosis

The Happiness Spectrum

 

I believe they align strongly with the next steps for you in your self-actualization journey. I'd also recommend coming back to this thread when you've watched them to discuss your insights and how it relates to your problem. Those serve as an okay starting point but are far from all the perspective you may need to take the best action.

[kalter000]

You've been installed with certain standart how tall people should/shouldn't be. Your self worth is based on external things, which is extremely unhealthy. You have to realise, that this belief was unconsciously integrated into your ego structure, but in reality it's nothing but a thought. Be mindful of your comparing habit and drop it, it causes a lot of trouble. The true growth is in practising self-acceptance.

[David1]

41 minutes ago, Steelheart said:

I'm a short guy around 5 foot 6. I find myself thinking about this alot and wishing i was 4 inches taller. I think because I'm short i have limiting beliefs with women and sports. I find myself comparing myself to other short guys all the time. I keep finding myself looking for validation which i get sometimes but it soon fades. I listened to Leo's video real growth vs fake growth. I've only managed fake growth. Does anybody have a suggestion how i can overcome this insecurity? 

Short guys can have alot of advantages over tall guys. There are many sports in wich a tall guy has a disadvantage. Practically every motorized sport, motorbike racing, carting, F1, horseback riding, gymnastics, sport pilots...every sport that requires speed and light weight. 

[Nathalie]

1 hour ago, Steelheart said:

I listened to Leo's video real growth vs fake growth. I've only managed fake growth.

@Steelheart You've already recognized the problem

fake growth:

- move in a country where a lot of men aren't taller than you

- search a short woman

- wear high hills... and so on

real growth:

no comparison, no judgment, no criticism what you can reach through reading books, watching videos and practice meditation

 

 

[Steelheart]

@MartineF i like your fake growth ideas. 

[Nathalie]

 

[Steelheart]

@MartineF i really liked the vid. I'm wondering if it's possible to have no comparison, judgment, or criticism. 

[Nathalie]

Eckart Tolle is a phenomenon he has an answer to every thing..

But yes, of course you can - we all can -

It may seem to be a long way, but every step you go deeper into yourself is an amazing journey

so one day you will surely wondering why you tried so hard to change something or even to attract somebody else

you're already absolutely complete, you just have to notice it, this is the good new.

Don't be affraid, I'm not preaching for staying alone

=> in this state you just aren't needy anymore, you can love and be loved without any fear

 

[Ajax]

@Steelheart

First realize that personality is much more important than looks. A magnetic charisma will draw many more women than size. Women love a man that is playful and funny, which is why I imagine so many comedians are so short.

Also, consider bodybuilding or weightlifting as a sport, do you realize that short people have a huge advantage in that area? Seriously, Google "short bodybuilders"

As far as real growth, I believe that that the key is having the right reason for doing something. It should be something that you like doing and makes you happy. Like if you want to be funny, the reason should be that it makes you feel good and you enjoy making other people feel good too.

[Waleed]

I'm not a tall guy either - about 5 '7.5 and I remember there were moments where I felt insecure about my tallness but honestly there is no need to be insecure about something like height because its not something you can change. Rather focusing on building your overall value as a person: skill-set, success, knowledge, social ties, relationships, friendships, career etc. is what is going to really make you fulfilled. There are a lot of sports where I think being shorter is an advantage, shopping for clothes is cheaper, you don't need a lot of room to workout, etc. It's all about perspective, I remember there were many times where I dated women who were taller than I was and they were fine with it. Even my last ex would pick on me about my size but she found my shortness adorable so everyone is different with various preferences. Change what you can and just completely love who you really are cause in that you'll find happiness. 

Edited March 6, 2016 by Waleed

[gian]

i can relate 100% i am about 5 ft 7 in and have had insecurities about my height for such a long time. i try to go wayyy back in my mind and think if there was anything that occurred in my life (aside from societal norms and pressures) that made me feel insignificant because of my height.....i really cannot think of anything else aside from it being in my own head and believing that i was not good enough.....i honestly cannot recall anyone really even putting me down because of my height....just myself

i still struggle with it at times, even though a few years back i dated a girl who was 5 ft 11 in! and i definitely let my insecurities get in the way with that, even when i have dated girls that have been my height exactly. it is absolutely ridiculous to put yourself down and feel insecure about it. i realize how petty it is even though i keep doing it to myself at times. 

what has helped me has been weight training (or whatever physique goal is ideal for you in your eyes), taking care of my physical appearance, affirmations, meditation, tons of personal development work (such as Leo's videos), studying social development and psychology, eating healthy, etc....nothing really outside of the realm of finding one's own true path and personal development work. (obviously i did not do all of these things solely because of my height insecurities, but it has snowballed into acceptance of my height as well)

sometimes i do feel that i put too much emphasis on my own physical development, but i am aware of those insecurities and my mentality with that continues to improve. but all i can say is that when you are happy (or at least improving) with your physique and working towards a goal, that will automatically increase your confidence (no matter what your height)

i hope this helps. i am in no way "cured" of my insecurities with my height or anything, but i have been able to consistently conquer these silly insecurities, hopefully eventually to the point of non existence.  

good luck!!!
 

[Anna]

Don't worry about your height. There is nothing wrong with you!

I instantly thought of "Florian Neuschwander" when I saw your post. He is 5'6" aswell and an ultrarunner from Germany. He is extremely fast and his confidence is shining from within. You see, short guys can accomplish great things. Size does not matter.

And another fact, from a woman's perspective, I notice the height of a guy, but this is not what catches my attention. I rather look at the proportions, his behavior and his character. Women observe a lot.

So you better work on your confidence. Your height is something you can't change, accept and love it as it is. You are beautiful the way you are! And believe me a short guy with a strong character and confidence is far more attractive than a tall idiot.

Edited March 6, 2016 by Anna

[Argue]

Statistically, you're an average height. Why feel bad about it?