How to heal from something you've done.

[solr]

How do you heal from something bad you did? I'm not able to tell the person I did this to. My best friend know, I can talk to him about it - But I still have nightmares, anxiety and feel fragmented. How do you heal this part of yourself? Practical step by step methods is much appreciated. 

I'm a strong meditator, and I've kept this routine for 7 years. Yet I find it hard to balance observing what I did, and burying myself in it.

[molosku]

Have you read Tolles "Power of Now" ? As you probably know, your trauma or bad memory doesn't really exist NOW, as its only a thing in your mind which your imperfect minds fetches onto you consciousness to be dwelled upon. 

But the now is all there is, so how come you suffer from something that is simply not there? Something to think about.

Also try to put things into context: did you end/destroy someones whole life? If you didnt, it cant be THAT bad. So much horrible stuff happens all the time. 

If hurts because you feel its personal. You feel it happened to you, but really it happened to someone, that in this case happened to be you. Try not to identify yourself as a person who does no do the x thing you did. That creates a disconnect in you self image, as you really feel you are a better person than that, but the facts speak otherwise. This insight helped me to get over something I did recently that was NOT something I would ever imagine myself doing. 

Whats done is done, simple as that. Try to accept it, and yourself. Leo has a great self acceptance video, maybe start from there

Edited March 5, 2018 by molosku

[tsuki]

I would start by acknowledging the reason why I did it.
Then, I would acknowledge how it made sense to do such a thing at the time.
Lastly, seeing that I reject what I did at the time would hint to that I am a different person. If I rejected it back then, It wouldn't have happened.

The only reason to willingly hurt others is that they reflect a part of you that you reject.
Rejection of self is self-hurt, regardless of whether you lash out against yourself, or against others. 

Rejecting what you did only serves to perpetuate the cycle.
Instead of hating yourself for your own stupidity, see yourself as your own victim. 
Don't be like people that want to murder the murderer.

Edited March 5, 2018 by tsuki

[Leo Gura]

Someone post a Matt Kahn video here

[ADD]

@Leo Gura

[Shin]

20 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Someone post a Matt Kahn video here

Or a Leo's video from the future ☺

[solr]

1 hour ago, ADD said:

@Leo Gura

I didn't really relate to this video at all, but I'll try and check out some of his other videos.

[solr]

@molosku@molosku @tsukiThank you so much for your thoughts. <3

[Leo Gura]

@solr

I have a video called How To Love Yourself. That might help.

[solr]

22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@solr

I have a video called How To Love Yourself. That might help.

Thank you Leo, I'll go watch it right now.

[cetus]

2 hours ago, solr said:

Practical step by step methods is much appreciated. 

@solr Am I reading this right? You can't bring yourself to be totally honest with the person you did something wrong to so instead you want a method to erase your own regrets about doing it?  Sorry if I misunderstood something here but if that's the case I think you owe it to them (and yourself) to be totally truthful. Otherwise you will always know the truth (and your best friend) but the person you did wrong to won't know.

[solr]

37 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@solr Am I reading this right? You can't bring yourself to be totally honest with the person you did something wrong to so instead you want a method to erase your own regrets about doing it?  Sorry if I misunderstood something here but if that's the case I think you owe it to them (and yourself) to be totally truthful. Otherwise you will always know the truth (and your best friend) but the person you did wrong to won't know.

You are not reading this right.

[cetus]

@solr O.K. Sorry

So you made a mistake and you owned up to it. Your being totally honest with the person. That's all you can do on that level. Now you have to find compassion to forgive yourself for your human condition that made the mistake in the first place. Take it as a life lesson and your a better person for it. But yea, we are always hardest on ourselves when mistakes are made. It's often much easier to forgive others than ourselves. Your not alone on that one!

[Nahm]

@solr This too will pass. You did what you did because that’s where you were. It’s done. It’s serves as any event serves, to know the love that you are more deeply. Reality is fucked up. God does work in mysterious ways. 

Are you committed to doing your best now? 

Will you be making such mistakes again? Or have you learned?

Take the learning, accept your imperfections, and begin to love yourself again. 

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

-Buddha

You deserve the love Solr. I know it’s fucked up. Life is fucked up. But you deserve love. In Truth, that’s actually your quote. Read it one more time, and this time, see that you wrote it for you, for this moment, now. It would be wise to use it now. 

Times like these have a tendency to draw a love from the universe that shows you that you can move mountains. Be patient. Keep practicing. 

[solr]

25 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@solr This too will pass. You did what you did because that’s where you were. It’s done. It’s serves as any event serves, to know the love that you are more deeply. Reality is fucked up. God does work in mysterious ways. 

Are you committed to doing your best now? 

Will you be making such mistakes again? Or have you learned?

Take the learning, accept your imperfections, and begin to love yourself again. 

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

-Buddha

You deserve the love Solr. I know it’s fucked up. Life is fucked up. But you deserve love. In Truth, that’s actually your quote. Read it one more time, and this time, see that you wrote it for you, for this moment, now. It would be wise to use it now. 

Times like these have a tendency to draw a love from the universe that shows you that you can move mountains. Be patient. Keep practicing. 

Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this. Had me in tears. Thank you so much.

[Nahm]

@solr You’re welcome. I know it sucks ass. Hang in there. ❤️

[Ether]

@Nahm you suck a...nvm

[Metody]

No amount of regret/ guilt can change the past.  

We all make mistakes. Learn from it. 

[Guest Quanty]

By stop being sorry and forgiving yourself.

 

Namaste, Mfks!

[AlwaysBeNice]

Also the body composition changes every moment, and on a cellular level almost completely every 7 years, as well as our DNA.

Can you be a past body?