1P-LSD Trip Report / General thoughts about psychedelic experience

[ValiantSalvatore]

Hello,

I wanted to share and talk about psychedelic experiences. I tested a couple of psychedelics now Al-LAD, ETH-LAD, 1P-LSD, and ALD-52.

So, last week Thursday I tried 200mcg of 1P-LSD and topped it up with 100mcg later during the trip. So, I what I did before with the other substances before taking them is that I meditate 1h like I do regularly, and then after I do a 20min intentional meditation sit, about what the psychedelics experience should be about, or what the content of the psychedelic experience revolves around. Ideally, also 20min of journaling after the meditation sessions (almost like in Leo's video about ALD-52).

What I did with each separate trip, is to compare if whether or not, it makes a difference if I take them normally without any meditation (just the regular one or even without meditation), or if the content of the psychedelic experience changes, when I meditate and send/make intentions.

In general what I feel and think about the setup/preparation is that the setup does matter, yet more on physical health, mental and one's emotional state. At the same time( meditation boosts that quite good and substances do not matter as much as I thought), I feel that even a horrible setup which can cause a bad trip feels so cleansing in the end. Even when I can't recap what I processed at the end, or why I feel that something inside of me is now free or sort of has been set free and I can now let go and embrace in a sense. Yet, also that there is a lot of pain and hate, also vanity inside me. I can see that I am lacking self-reflection at the moment, otherwise I would be able to process more of the "shadow components" about myself, that have been revealed through psychedelics and shadow work. 

Now back to Thursday, where I tried 300mcg of 1P-LSD. I took them this time without meditating or doing anything related to a preparation beforehand. What I did is basically just the regular stuff that I do, when I am being me. So, I just play video games listen to some nice music, turn on a video on youtube that I like and relax. I did not have obviously any mind breaking insights or changes in awareness, yet at the end, I did have some insights. Which was quite surprising more or less. When I had the insights, I was lying in the bedroom of my mom petting my cat...(all jokes aside) and started to think about going to bed and to meditate before. As I was stroking my cat I was startled, that he was purring to the rhythm of my breathing. Now, when I think back I always adjusted my breathing to my cat to build some sort of intimacy or connection or just to show the cat that I am not harmful lol. 

What happened next is, that I decided to meditate for 15 min and go to bed since it was quite late. I started the timer and sat down near on the brink of my bed and started to meditate. As I was meditating I sort of felt and noticed that my cat was purring sort of distorted and not rhythmically. Then as my thoughts became more quite my cat also was quieter. It felt like he is some sort of consciousness vibrator purring to the rhythm of its environment or to brain waves, or any sort of frequency that is humming through an area. Then suddenly, I just became quite, of course there where thoughts but my whole environment went quite I could feel nothingness or consciousness being there in the whole environment, my outer body ( not inner maybe slightly) went quiet, and my cat also suddenly in that (ffing) moment quite. I was shocked and the experience lasted maybe 5 - 30 seconds or 1 or 2 minutes. I can't really tell I find it difficult to track time when I am meditating, especially noticing short periods of time.

After meditating I immediately cuddled into my bed with my cat cuddling up right towards my chest. I was irritated and just could not sleep, not because of the "silence experience", I just could not feel asleep. So, my mind was radiating and talking and thinking and talking. I noticed that the more I became uneasy my cat also became uneasy, and I was just wondering in general what a cat can sense with her body. Yet, it was so depending on what I thought. That I started to think about why did Egyptians worship cats did they do anything related to consciousness "work" or meditation or something that has to do with increasing awareness and noticed that a cat can be a useful tool to increase awareness? Then I thought what did all of our ancestors do that were sort of spiritually inclined with animals? Do animals have consciousness, when they have it can they use it? Are they just it? And are "trapped" inside a body that leaves them with limited choices? Would animals or certain animals notice and adjust to you when you have the goal to increase your consciousness and be a sort of guide or would I just project that on to them and I would perceive it that way? Since they are consciousness they are in some ways always a guide? Then I thought about a quote from Eckhart Tolle "I have lived with several Zen masters" - All of them are cats. And how my cat often deceives me just to get what he wants in the end, some food or attention or whatever he sometimes "thinks" and how a Zen master can trick you into growth ( did not meet one yet in person). Also, before I meditated I had to cry I just felt so bad and connected to my cat as stupid as it may sound it felt like he wants to live a human life what do I know? When consciousness perceives well, than can he see what we are doing and get insights even if he can't comprehend things like a human? I dont know it just hit me. 

In general with all the substances I tried, I feel that I WANT and also DESIRE to read more books. It feels very good to think about content that you have acquired ( not sure how to phrase it yet thats how it feels like.. yes yes feel feel ) and to just expand with it and connect ideas and concepts with each other or see where they are similar to gain new "insights". Also, since I consumed a couple of audiobooks and talks of Ken Wilber that I can see the stages of "moral" development or overall development in myself and other people. I pretty much got all of the ethnocentrism out of me and materialism is still less decently prevalent and that I am more integral to a degree then I thought I am. Yet, I am still very much green although integral is making its progress faster and faster. Especially, when I work out and I am at the university I feel integral is quite strong, since there is no other way, I can get along with peers who act on different stages and funnily more or less they also gather around their stage ( Yes, this sounds slightly condescending to some, yet this is NOT MY INTENTION!!! even if it feels sometimes like this I just get annoyed with people..). Also, I noticed more how people project their own insecurities upon me since I am quite sensitive and listen to people a lot and they just let loose and tell me all of their personal stuff. I enjoy it, yet it is difficult to not be a target of projection or that you target other people with your own projection since this is so subtle it is insane, anger, drama, hate, blame. Can all fire back on to you even if you did not really participate. Yet, it is just difficult to handle other peoples emotions when they project things on to you, since one can't tell if it is one's own emotion or the emotions of the other person, which is being projected upon you. Besides the projection and stages part, I noticed more shadow material in me. Also, that green people tend to be quite narcissistic in a subtle and vain manner and that orange people care so much about accomplishment, intelligence, money, status even in video games instead of raw skill for instance and that anything that has not been accomplished through some sort of efficiency and individual accomplishment. Is not worth the discussion. So, they feel better than others based on external factors . That is what I observed as a shadow part of these two stages and these parts are not incorporated correctly. IMO. Could also be just lack of awareness? (The shadow self and awareness are completely different, they are not correlated that's what I know from books though). Also, I feel more sensitive to my environment, open and do have more satisfaction with my life overall. So, I am very glad I tried and will continue to do so for some time, ideally with more focus on just experiencing the psychedelic experience, so I will walk around more or not be engaged in any sort of activity that distracts me too much.

I am sometimes unsure if I am growing or not because first of all, you can't talk with everybody about this and even then it is difficult to get a feedback on what you perceive in terms of its accuracy. Since most people do not share the same framework to work with. And sometimes I am not sure if I am just deluding myself or that I am not making progress in someway since I don't reap any extrinsic rewards. Feel free to share thanks for reading! 

Edited March 2, 2018 by ValiantSalvatore