6 months to awaken !

[sarapr]

6 hours ago, Shin said:

It's not wasting time if you enjoy it ?

Btw I almost feel like your smile emojis aren't sarcastic now, I'm proud ?

Thanks to you , the smile emoji and me were reunited for the better and are living together in harmony ever since . 

[Charlotte]

8 hours ago, Shin said:

whenever you desire to quit comes, it's actually one of the best moment of the meditation cause it's when you can catch the ego at full speed.

? 

 

 

[Shin]

3 hours ago, sarapr said:

Thanks to you , the smile emoji and me were reunited for the better and are living together in harmony ever since . 

[sarapr]

@Shin it was genuine.

I've messed you up badly. It seems you can't trust me anymore so from now on no more sarcasm .

Truce 

[Shin]

Habit to quit this month: PIzzas/Fast-foods/soda/large meal.

Habit to create this month: 2 hours meditation/1 hour self-enquiry

 

• Did I eat shit ? Yes, one soda. SUE ME !
• Did I read today ? Yes
• Did I meditated 2 hours ? No, 1,5 hours (no excuse)
• Did I self-enquire for 1 hour ? Yes
• Did I walked/been in nature 4 hours ? Yes (Blue sky after 3 months LUL)

 

 

[sarapr]

4 hours in nature!

Got me interested about your job, what do you do?

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, sarapr said:

4 hours in nature!

Got me interested about your job, what do you do?

I am in a situation where I can do nothing all day for 5 more months.

Probably the last time it will ever happen, so I intend to make it worth while ?

[sarapr]

That's why you said awakening in 6 months , good 

[Shin]

Starting at 15

Real shit is spoken.

 

 

Edited March 6, 2018 by Shin

[Shin]

22 hours ago, Shin said:

Habit to quit this month: PIzzas/Fast-foods/soda/large meal.

Habit to create this month: 2 hours meditation/1 hour self-enquiry

 

• Did I eat shit ? No
• Did I read today ? Yes
• Did I meditated 2 hours ? Yes
• Did I self-enquire for 1 hour ? Yes

 

• Walking meditation for 2 hours.
• Stretching and push-ups/abs x 2 until I can't move.

 

 

Quote

 

 

Edited March 6, 2018 by Shin

[Shin]

First Week report:

 

SO MUCH CLARITY !

That's how I will describe it if I was too lazy to write anything else 

 

Thoughts have dropped by 50%, and they can't bring me inconscious anymore, not even for a second or two like before.
They appear as a ghosty voice, located near the head, but I'm still fully conscious and alert of my visual and auditory experience when they pop out.
I can choose not to think at all most of the time, just by focusing on my breath, sometimes I don't even have to do anything at all, just sitting and being aware of what I see/hear is enough.

The identification to them has also dropped quite significantly, there is way more distance between me and them so to speak,
That's how it feels, it's obviously not a real world distance thing.

Thoughts are more like an another experience, just like any other sounds or visuals now, but are still predominant over them.
It's almost like two years ago, except now I know it's not an experience but just how it feels when you are dedicated to stay conscious whatever you do (witnessing every sensations/thoughts/visuals) and allocating 2/3 hours of deep meditation in your schedule.

 

Internally, It still feel like I'm a human being, BUT, I can clearly sense there is nothing solid in me, I'm empty yet full of energy, it's a paradox, but it doesn't feel like a paradox at all.
I still think and feel I'm the body/mind, but It also feel like the body/mind isn't really there, like a projection, a simulation in a computer program.
I strongly intuit and feel in my self-inquiry, when it gets really deep, that the things I look at are also just empty AND intensely alive, the screen analogy is perfect to describe that, except in this case it's in 3D.

 

Visually, it's as it everything was alive, even inanimate objects, it's very subtle, but it's there.
Also, every objects/people share the same "source", it's like everything is made of the same thing, but looks very different, also very subtle (almost impossible to feel If I'm not very aware).

Everything is way more beautiful to look at, watching trees leafs moving because of the wind is EXTREMELY satisfying, so as watching a river moving.
Observing birds, hearing them, is just a joy in itself, I could literally stay hours just doing that.
There is also an intense connection with animals, it's almost feels like love, it's amazing.

Staying and being in a forest is POWERFUL, didn't experience something as powerful yet, you just feel at home, totally in synch with everything.
Sometimes I have the impression that trees look at me, that the wind moving leafs is trying to talk to me...

 

Emotionally wise, my craving for sex is almost non existent (it's not flatline, I feel energetic).
I don't think about sex, I don't feel the need for it, even if I'm talking to a really sexy girl.
What happens is that the attraction creates energy that circulate through the body (still have to learn to do that properly though).

My desire to get enlightened is almost gone (even in self-inquiry).
It's weird, because there is no desire, but at the same time there is a strong "pull" to discover the truth.
It's not neurotic, it's not a craving, there is not even an emotion, it's just a "pull".

Boredom doesn't exist, how could you be bored if you can be fulfilled by watching an inanimate object ? Feels impossible.

Fear is interesting because since there is such a distance to thoughts and emotions, fear isn't that fearful.
I know what it is, and I know I can go further If I really want it.
Don't get me wrong, it's still really difficult to deal with, but only when it really happen.
I can imagine all sort of horrible and uncomfortable scenarios in my head, and it doesn't do anything anymore, and if it does, I just think about it until it doesn't.

Sadness/loneliness, can't talk about it, didn't felt those emotions yet.

Happiness ? No I'm not, there is joy though, rarely but it happens sometimes.
There is a deep stillness, peace though, it's in the background whatever I do or feel.
That's what you really want, not happiness, happiness is conditional, peace isn't.

Also, and this is the most beautiful insight you can have down the spiritual path.
I KNOW that everything I need will be given to me, when I'll need it (=/= want it).
There is no doubt about that anymore.

 

[Shin]

Habit to quit this month: PIzzas/Fast-foods/soda/large meal (2 single snacks authorized, like a bagel or a mars).

Habit to create this month: 2 hours meditation/1 hour self-enquiry

 

• Did I eat shit ? No
• Did I read today ? Yes
• Did I meditated 2 hours ? Yes
• Did I self-enquire for 1 hour ? Yes
• Did I wasted my fluid for a few minutes of pleasure ? No (12 days in a row).

 

What else ?

• Walking meditation for 1,5 hours.
• Stretching and push-ups/abs x 2 until I can't move.

 

 

Edited March 8, 2018 by Shin

[Charlotte]

14 hours ago, Shin said:

First Week report:

 

SO MUCH CLARITY !

That's how I will describe it if I was too lazy to write anything else 

 

Thoughts have dropped by 50%, and they can't bring me inconscious anymore, not even for a second or two like before.
They appear as a ghosty voice, located near the head, but I'm still fully conscious and alert of my visual and auditory experience when they pop out.
I can choose not to think at all most of the time, just by focusing on my breath, sometimes I don't even have to do anything at all, just sitting and being aware of what I see/hear is enough.

The identification to them has also dropped quite significantly, there is way more distance between me and them so to speak,
That's how it feels, it's obviously not a real world distance thing.

Thoughts are more like an another experience, just like any other sounds or visuals now, but are still predominant over them.
It's almost like two years ago, except now I know it's not an experience but just how it feels when you are dedicated to stay conscious whatever you do (witnessing every sensations/thoughts/visuals) and allocating 2/3 hours of deep meditation in your schedule.

 

Internally, It still feel like I'm a human being, BUT, I can clearly sense there is nothing solid in me, I'm empty yet full of energy, it's a paradox, but it doesn't feel like a paradox at all.
I still think and feel I'm the body/mind, but It also feel like the body/mind isn't really there, like a projection, a simulation in a computer program.
I strongly intuit and feel in my self-inquiry, when it gets really deep, that the things I look at are also just empty AND intensely alive, the screen analogy is perfect to describe that, except in this case it's in 3D.

 

Visually, it's as it everything was alive, even inanimate objects, it's very subtle, but it's there.
Also, every objects/people share the same "source", it's like everything is made of the same thing, but looks very different, also very subtle (almost impossible to feel If I'm not very aware).

Everything is way more beautiful to look at, watching trees leafs moving because of the wind is EXTREMELY satisfying, so as watching a river moving.
Observing birds, hearing them, is just a joy in itself, I could literally stay hours just doing that.
There is also an intense connection with animals, it's almost feels like love, it's amazing.

Staying and being in a forest is POWERFUL, didn't experience something as powerful yet, you just feel at home, totally in synch with everything.
Sometimes I have the impression that trees look at me, that the wind moving leafs is trying to talk to me...

 

Emotionally wise, my craving for sex is almost non existent (it's not flatline, I feel energetic).
I don't think about sex, I don't feel the need for it, even if I'm talking to a really sexy girl.
What happens is that the attraction creates energy that circulate through the body (still have to learn to do that properly though).

My desire to get enlightened is almost gone (even in self-inquiry).
It's weird, because there is no desire, but at the same time there is a strong "pull" to discover the truth.
It's not neurotic, it's not a craving, there is not even an emotion, it's just a "pull".

Boredom doesn't exist, how could you be bored if you can be fulfilled by watching an inanimate object ? Feels impossible.

Fear is interesting because since there is such a distance to thoughts and emotions, fear isn't that fearful.
I know what it is, and I know I can go further If I really want it.
Don't get me wrong, it's still really difficult to deal with, but only when it really happen.
I can imagine all sort of horrible and uncomfortable scenarios in my head, and it doesn't do anything anymore, and if it does, I just think about it until it doesn't.

Sadness/loneliness, can't talk about it, didn't felt those emotions yet.

Happiness ? No I'm not, there is joy though, rarely but it happens sometimes.
There is a deep stillness, peace though, it's in the background whatever I do or feel.
That's what you really want, not happiness, happiness is conditional, peace isn't.

Also, and this is the most beautiful insight you can have down the spiritual path.
I KNOW that everything I need will be given to me, when I'll need it (=/= want it).
There is no doubt about that anymore.

 

Rooting for you brother. Keep up the inspirational work. 

14 hours ago, Shin said:

Everything is way more beautiful to look at, watching trees leafs moving because of the wind is EXTREMELY satisfying, so as watching a river moving.
Observing birds, hearing them, is just a joy in itself, I could literally stay hours just doing that.
There is also an intense connection with animals, it's almost feels like love, it's amazing.

Staying and being in a forest is POWERFUL, didn't experience something as powerful yet, you just feel at home, totally in synch with everything.
Sometimes I have the impression that trees look at me, that the wind moving leafs is trying to talk to me...

 

I felt such a strong emotion when reading this, it's as if you've taken my thoughts/feelings and typed them up. 

Enjoy every single second shin, it will only become more and more powerful as you merge with nature ❤️??️

[Shin]

13 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

Rooting for you brother. Keep up the inspirational work. 

I felt such a strong emotion when reading this, it's as if you've taken my thoughts/feelings and typed them up. 

Enjoy every single second shin, it will only become more and more powerful as you merge with nature ❤️??️

 

?

[Charlotte]

5 minutes ago, Shin said:

 

?

Also very true! (Had to think about that for a second) ?

Love your inspirational memes ❤️

[Shin]

On 08/03/2018 at 1:09 AM, Shin said:

Habit to quit this month: PIzzas/Fast-foods/soda/large meal (2 single snacks authorized, like a bagel or a mars).

Habit to create this month: 2 hours meditation/1 hour self-enquiry

 

• Did I eat shit ? Yes, one yogurt.
• Did I read today ? Yes
• Did I meditated 2 hours ? Yes
• Did I self-enquire for 1 hour ? Yes
• Did I wasted my fluid for a few minutes of pleasure ? No (13 days in a row).

 

What else ?

• Walking meditation for 2 hours.
• Stretching and push-ups/abs x 2 until I can't move.
• A thread on AC.

Had the insight that what I'm seeking is impossible to find by me, but that I should still try until it happens anyways.

Faith is primordial, without faith it just won't happen.

I am already it, typing it, looking to it, from it, while still being separate somehow ...

Best prank ever, except I'm pranking myself and that it's not funny (well, a bit funny though ).

PARADOXES !!!

 

Quote

 

Gotta remember this shit

Quote

 

Edited March 9, 2018 by Shin

[Shin]

I really NEED to get my diet straight.

I can feel the energetic problem when I meditate or do self-inquiry, or simply walk outside in town/do sport (even at appropriate times).

Stomach is always working, sometimes way too much, it is a huge distraction when I try to locate myself.

It's also just plain egotistical, the body is a living organism that needs to be respected and nurtured, it is not mine and I should try to make it happy as much as I could.

[Shin]

On 08/03/2018 at 1:09 AM, Shin said:

Habit to quit this month: PIzzas/Fast-foods/soda/large meal (2 single snacks authorized, like a bagel or a mars).

Habit to create this month: 2 hours meditation/1 hour self-enquiry

 

• Did I eat shit ? No
• Did I read today ? Yes
• Did I meditated 2 hours ? Yes
• Did I self-enquire for 1 hour ? Yes
• Did I wasted my fluid for a few minutes of pleasure ? No (14 days in a row).

 

What else ?

• Walking meditation for 1,5 hours.
• Stretching and push-ups/abs x 2 until I can't move.

 

 

On 08/03/2018 at 1:09 AM, Shin said:

 

[Shin]

It's hard man.

I really didn't want to be part of any of it, but how could I not act on this now that I know all of this ?

It sucks, I hate that shit, but there is no viable alternative.

Not gonna lie, this isn't exactly a selfless act, but it's just the right thing to do.

No matter how the ego is in play or not, I won't close my eyes on this, even if it must break me.

This story deserve a better ending, not for me, but for the main concerned ...

Life has just so much to offer ...

Much much more than that ...

Edited March 10, 2018 by Shin

[Ether]

20 minutes ago, Shin said:

It's hard man.

I really didn't want to be part of any of it, but how could I not act on this now that I know all of this ?

It sucks, I hate that shit, but there is no viable alternative.

Not gonna lie, this isn't exactly a selfless act, but it's just the right thing to do.

No matter how the ego is in play or not, I won't close my eyes on this, even if it must break me.

This story deserve a better ending, not for me, but for the main concerned ...

Life has just so much to offer ...

Much much more than that ...

?