Posted March 1, 2018 Hello all, I considered posting this in the "Dating, Relationships, Sexuality" forum but opted for here instead because it is half about love and half about distraction from self-actualization. Five months ago I embarked on a rigorous self-development journey. I have shed bad habits and adopted new positive ones, found new joy in life, made a lot of progress through analysing my emotions by journaling, etc, etc. I know I still have far to go. However, I have fallen in love. For the past six weeks I cannot focus on personal development at all and want to be with this person immediately (even though I know I'm not ready - I still have severe depression). I am slipping back into negative habits. I feel myself shaping my goals around who my loved one might need, rather than myself and self-actualization. I am an obsessive person and it makes it difficult to focus now that I am so infatuated. I know that if I am meant to be with them then they will be with me when I'm ready. How do I avoid this distraction? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 1, 2018 Does your loved one know about your commitment to self-development? Does he/she share that lifestyle and ambition? If so, and if they're right for you, I'd think they would be respectful of it and allow you and encourage you to maintain your practice. Then again, it's easy for us to get caught up in falling in love, even when it might leech some of the energy that we'd heretofore put into bettering ourselves. Even so, I'd think a healthy equilibrium would return in time if he/she is right for you. If it doesn't then it's not healthy for you. Does he/she know about your struggle with depression? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 1, 2018 @grrmz Doesnt mean you cant be with her. You dont need to do self development shit all day everyday. You can do it everyday but when you arent doing it go with her! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 2, 2018 See how you really feel about the situation. Try to see what you'd be doing without the other person. This was allowed to happen because you had an "unresolved" part of you wanting this. See if you could either have some other way to express or get what you want out of the relationship. There is really no long term "justification" way out of this the way I see it. Try to just see how you truly feel and follow what you want to do yourself. Might this end up with the relationship breaking? Maybe. But you can't tell if that's a bad thing or not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 2, 2018 @grrmz Maybe part of your path is to burn through some karma with this love interest? Get it out of your system and learn your lesson. Craving and temptation will arise over and over again on any spiritual path. You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Leo Gura said: Craving and temptation will arise over and over again on any spiritual path. Something worth printing out and reading 3 times everyday... ''Not this... Not this... PLEASE...Not this...'' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 2, 2018 18 hours ago, PsiloPutty said: Does your loved one know about your commitment to self-development? Does he/she share that lifestyle and ambition? If so, and if they're right for you, I'd think they would be respectful of it and allow you and encourage you to maintain your practice. Then again, it's easy for us to get caught up in falling in love, even when it might leech some of the energy that we'd heretofore put into bettering ourselves. Even so, I'd think a healthy equilibrium would return in time if he/she is right for you. If it doesn't then it's not healthy for you. Does he/she know about your struggle with depression? This, if you feel like he/she won't support you and give you enough space to do personal developement, then don't. Use your craving as a tool to meditate more deeply, those cravings needs to be made so conscious that at some point they won't pull you anymore. Doesn't mean you shouldn't get it if you want it, but there is a huge difference between wanting something, and needing it. God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God And God in them Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 2, 2018 @grrmz Confusing because it sounds like you’re saying you’re with them, and then also saying not with them yet.....? Use simple scheduling. Block off a couple hours a day for practices, reading up. You mentioned depression....are you eating healthy, exercising? Listening to positive speakers on emotional intelligence? How old are you? Relationships come and go. The right habits rid you of depression, that’s for the duration. That’s more important right now. Do the work on yourself as the priority, so you can enjoy relationships. MEDITATIONS TOOLS ActualityOfBeing.com GUIDANCE SESSIONS NONDUALITY LOA My Youtube Channel THE TRUE NATURE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 2, 2018 20 minutes ago, Nahm said: How old are you? Relationships come and go. The right habits rid you of depression, that’s for the duration. Fuck me man, this is motivation Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 2, 2018 @Nahm But NAHM, I need my anal sex ? God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God And God in them Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 2, 2018 Mans job is to have a purpose mission going threw challenges,if shes your goal you will mess it up they like you to be you and have your passions so continue with what you are doing and have fun with her thats the point of relationships.. There is nothing safe with playing it safe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
