Becoming a healer

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened in the last two weeks:

• I've just realized that, in spite of everything, I'm finally realizing one of my year's goals: "to make reading a daily habit". I'm currently reading "It's not about the money" by Brent Kessel. It's a great book about getting to know one's deep relationship to money. He talks about 8 basic archetypes. For the moment I totally identify with the pleasure seeker.. So no more credit cards for me... I also should implement a one-day-no-spending routine, or as he calls it "a day of resting from wanting". Doing the exercises in the book I realized that this kind of relationship with money comes from the belief that "I am not enough as I am".. Another advice Kessel gives to pleasure seekers is to be more present in the moment, which is very different from the "you can't take it with you" mindset. Being more conscious and present makes it easier to recognize the deeper feeling that is being anesthetized by the irresistible impulse to buy something.. I guess I've been a bit avoidant on this issue of feeling as not being enough.. The universe then sent me this book and a forced rest from Crossfit as I got a stiff neck I'm still recovering from.. I remember I was so angry for the fact of not being able to train.. Oh, my equanimity!! Instead of using the newfound free time to do all of my routines (I did meditate almost every day though), I re-signed up to Tinder. In spite of the part of me telling me I was wasting my time, in a way it did help me accept myself more... Hopefully I won't always need external approval to feel that I am lovable as I am (not only for my body, there's a guy who's still writing me even if he has already categorized me as a crazy head.. we'll see each other on Sunday).
• I started the rock climbing course. It's a very mental sport.. I can't say I love it yet but I like the fact that in the end it's just you and the wall.. Also, you can't think too much about what to do because you risk to lose the momentum.. A very powerful lesson!!
• I am am embodying the value of professionalism by always arriving early at work.

Ways I got closer to being my authentic self:

• Tinder... I've actually already unsubscribed again. The hard way is the easy way, and also more fulfilling..
• Today I went out for lunch with my colleagues. Two Saturdays ago I went to a barbecue organized by the rock climbing school

If I could relive the last two weeks I would:

• Study.

Deep work time:

• I've started to use Forest also for meditation, visualization and reading time.. So in the last two weeks I've worked deeply for 10 hours.

What I learned:

• To love myself as I am.

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened in the last week:

• I find myself happy more and more often. It just happens, without anything in particular happening I feel happy and content!! 
• Today, while re-programming my schedule, I looked a bit at the grades I gave myself in the past months on the various "Big Blocks" on the perfect notebook.. I definitely got better in the relationships and fun&recreations areas, I stayed steadily good for what regards "body time" and in September I was very good in the "personal growth area" (I read a lot and only skipped meditation for 7 days). The big blocks that are suffering most are "professional goals" and "skill building". So now I have one more reason to get myself to study.. I also decided to put off to February the French certification exam so that I have more time to do the courses of speed reading and rapid learning.
• Today I finally went back to Crossfit, it was A M A Z I N G !!!!!  I can't explain how much I had missed it!!! I'll be going only two times a week this month though, so that I won't be forcing too much and I'll have more time to do other things (like running..  and checking up on my health..).

Ways I got closer to being my authentic self:

• I definitely was selfless...
• I went out for lunch with my colleagues.
• I ran and I danced!! 
• I went alone to a party (aka bye bye comfort zone!! ).
• I hosted a friend for a night.

If I could relive the last week I would:

• Study!!!

Deep work time:

• 1 hour and 40 minutes.. I was very very busy!!! 

What I learned:

I'm intimidated by the bulk of what I have to study but really there's no way around: little by little I'll do everything.

[Diane]

STOP

I feel a bit confused.. Where am I going? What do I want? Am I doing the right things?

So let's review the basics.. My life purpose is: "to do plenty of research and public speaking to make people healthier through consciousness".. Which ultimately means I need to be more conscious myself. So it's a good thing that I try to meditate every day. Ok. Then there's my professional life. I actually know what I have to do, I just need to make myself do it. Last but not least there's my love life.. I had the best of dates last week (really, it was perfect in every single detail, we kissed while saying to each other "no, one cannot only live to work"..).. Yet I know that I want more than "just" great sex.. As Eddie Pinero would say: the problem is belief. I don't see it right here right now so I feel sad..

Guess I just needed a reminder to "just keep swimming".. And loving, everything and everybody. Because even if no one came, I will have loved. And that's the only thing that  matters. Amen.

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened in the last 10 days:

• I reconnected with a friend. I love her and she loves me, we're just one crazier than the other!! 
• I'm learning equanimity, to accept things, and people, as they are.
• I'm learning to be an adult or, as Mel Robbins says, to parent myself. 

Ways I got closer to being my authentic self:

• I went out with some colleagues and today I spent the night out with a friend.
• Yep, I did practice.
• I ran the first 10km of the season.

If I could relive the last 10 days I would:

• Study more.

Deep work time:

• 13 hours and 30 minutes!!

What I learned:

• The hard way is the easy way.

[Hellspeed]

Go for medicine, let Healing to the awakened ones.  

[Diane]

@Hellspeed

[Diane]

I wish I was a poet

I wish I was a poet to be able to summarize in a few words the last month. But I'm not, at least not yet.. So I'll just write everything that comes to my mind as it comes..

I'm happy and very conscious about it.  I just had a flash about the fact that you generally find love when you are happy by yourself. The great thing is that what I feel is kind of a humble happiness. I see things (or people) I want but I know that I'll be happy without them too. 

I was thinking about what exactly made me happy and this post came to my mind..  Anyway, I have a lot of things to love and be happy and grateful for:

• I had a great birthday party, it was really amazing!! Nothing hyper fancy, we had a few drinks and something to eat at a bar but it really was a wonderful night, everyone had a good time!!
• Yesterday was Friday night, I had plans to go out with some girls of the rock climbing course but in the end we canceled the night out and went home after training and I couldn't be happier!! Who would have said that a dinner alone eating gnocchi al pesto with a glass of wine and the perspective of writing here could make me so much happy!?!
• Freedom!!!  I blocked two guys I had met on Tinder so now I don't have to put up with hot&coldness anymore!!!
• I have a good life in general and beautiful things keep happening to me.. Like the videos I find on youtube. Two examples of that are Gabrielle Bernstein and Tom Bilyeu and his hosts.. Here are some of the gems I got from them:
  • Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety. Gabrielle Bernstein
  • Anyone can change the world by changing themselves. Kyle Cease
  • No person has ever broken your heart, they broke your expectations. And by breaking your expectations, they get you closer to your heart. The only thing we have is the present moment to enjoy, we don't own anyone. Kyle Cease

In this month I also practiced being comfortable while being uncomfortable and managing my anxiety.. Organizing and preparing for my birthday party was a bit stressful but I went for it anyway and it was awesome!! The following weekend my parents came to visit me, we had the best of times but there were some issues with transportation.. The day they came here there was a general strike but they made it to take the plane, albeit with some difficulty.. The day they left the train to the airport was late and they had to take the next plane.. While booking that next plane, at a certain point I told myself out loud: "stay calm D, we're solving it!!". 

So here I am.. Hopefully this month I'll be more regular with my routines and all the other things I have to do (and be!! ).

 

 

[Diane]

You're alive. Act like it!!

Just a quick reminder to the me who was about to cry because I didn't find the phone cover that was supposed to be arrived at the post office two days ago. I'm a bit stressed for the whole moving to Switzerland thing so I easly get depressed.. Yet I know that "everything is figureoutable" (as Marie Forleo says..). I just needed a reminder. Thank you Universe for always having my back, and thanks to Gabrielle Bernstein for this concept.

Edited December 5, 2018 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I decided that my evening routine is a must, even if I still have tons of things to do.
• I didn't give in to sadness.
• I'm more flexible and accepting. I don't beat myself up for not having written in the last month, I start from now and I've also shortened the number of questions so that it's easier and takes less time. Maybe I'll buy the Five Minute Journal for 2019, I'm not sure though.

How could I have made today even better?

• Really giving my best during today's wod!!! It's such a pity knowing that I could have done more!!

Edited December 5, 2018 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I (kind of...) saved a life!!  I helped a neighbor remove a stitch her doctor hadn't removed completely.. All this in her kitchen!! And she's still alive!! 
• While reading the book "How to get rich" by Feliz Dennis, I had a flash about one of my earliest visualization sessions when I saw myself working just for passion, not for money. Maybe it came out of the life purpose course.. I had forgotten about it.. Again, thank you Universe!! 
• I adulted!! - "to adult" is a verb so it can be conjugated, right!?  - Anyway, I'm surrounded by wonderful people!! 

How could I have made today even better?

• Accepting and acting on the fact that "cheerfulness is the best attitude and the best strategy towards solving problems in life". I went out with some colleagues this evening to see the movie "Bohemian Rapsody" and I definitely was a bit under the weather.. I went on and "accepted" the fact that I was  sad and that it was okay. Hopefully the next time I'll remember Leo's words..
• Watering my poor poor orchid.. I should have done it on Tuesday.. I'll do it now but I'm afraid it's too late even for the last branch.. 

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened recently:

• I transferred all my notes from EverNote to OneNote. It's really amazing!!  Tonight I found out that you can create vocal notes so I recorded the list of everything I had to do this evenin, every item separately in casual order and then I went on doing them (the "fun" being in the fact that I didn't know which was which before opening every audio..). In reality it was Matthew Hussey who actually made me get up and do what I had to do (nothing so difficult per se -things like washing the dishes, washing my teeth and face, emptying the Crossfit bag and the evening routine- but as they say and I now know by experience, what is easy to do is also easy not to do...).
• I studied!!!
• I (re)started using Goodbudget, this time with much more consciousness. It was a bit painful facing my financial truths.. I realized that I had this kind of mentality: "Money is to be spent, as fast as possible".. I don't know where it came from but it's definitely the money mantra I've been repeating to myself in the past two years.. Now I have a "Sexy saving" account, because saving IS sexy!! 

How could I have made these days even better?

• Not procrastinating.
• Running more!! 

[Diane]

So, despite all efforts also 2018 is coming to an end.. It's time!! 

2018'S YEAR REVIEW

CELEBRATE: 

It's been a wonderful year!! At the end of 2017 a friend and I used to call 2018 "the year of the breakthrough" and it actually was in many ways!!

Wins I need to celebrate of this past year:

• I moved into my first apartment!! A wonderful place I love and enjoy every day more!! 
• I'm less and less concerned about other people's expectations/opinions. I'm learning to be and at the same time creating "myself". A very present example is that if nothing changes from now then I'll spend New Year's Eve at home by myself. I could easily find a place to go but I decided to take these few day as a mini retreat to recenter myself.. 
• I relaxed. I'm not fully sure it's a "win" but I definitely did this year. I went out a lot, host my mum on Easter, I did a wonderful tour of North Sardinia with a friend in June, spent three weeks in Burundi, I had some Tinder experiences and also went home for Christmas. Oh, and I had an amazing 30th birthday party!!! A part of me is not so proud of all these "achievements".. Now that I think about it, in the last few years there's been some kind of a pattern of grinding during odd-numbered years (in 2015 to graduate and in 2017 to move to Switzerland) and relaxing during even-numbered years. Maybe it's time to move from being a sprinter to running at a constant pace, it's not as appealing but I'll probably get more done and avoid this feeling of not deserving the beautiful things that happen to me. In the end it all comes back to running... Yesterday at CrossFit there was the "Abbate" hero wod, much more running time than usual. For once I followed the coach's advice not to run too fast from the beginning and I was able to finish it before the ones who surpassed me during the first laps... I did the wod with 20kg tough, I could have used a heavier barbell so maybe that helped me too.. 

What I was doing when I achieved my best results from last year:

• I actually did not achieve 2018's big goal. I had this idea of getting married/engaged but I did none of the two and I'm happy about it. For what I did achieve, when I did I was focused, determined and willing to do anything to reach my goal. As shallow as it can sound, the first example that comes to my mind is my birthday party, I socialized a lot before it on purpose..

One life lesson I learned from last year:

• Patience. Had I "manifested" a husband as I wanted to I wouldn't have learned it.. So again, thank you Universe!!

One big goal for this year:

• To be the best I can be. To make it more measurable, here is how I envision my best self right now:
  • Running 5km per day. It's not as "sexy" as scheduling 10km or more runs but if I do this every day I'll be running 35km per week and there's not one week I've run so much in 2018.
  • Doing my morning and evening routines every day. I don't have neither a partner nor a children, there's really no reason I couldn't make it.
  • Studying. A lot!!
  • Not wasting time on social media. Having a 15min per day spot where I use them and no more.
  • Being a great doctor.

Actions in the next 3 months for achieving my goal:

• Making a plan and following it to the letter. 

[Diane]

There's a big win I forgot to mention: money management!!! I've just started so there's still a lot of work to be done but the act of facing my finances itself is a very big win for me!!

[Diane]

Alex and Mimi Ikonn are doing a "dream review" and I decided to give it a try.  I should have done it before the yearly review but nevermind. I'll use the domains in Michael Hyatt's "LifeScore assessment".

 

My vision of the next five years

 

Spiritual

• I meditate every day
• I practice contemplation
• I trust the Universe

Intellectual

• I am up to date with all the research in my domain
• I read a lot, personal development material and also lots of different subjects to broaden my culture

Emotional

• I am equanimous
• I embody the four agreements (be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions, always do your best)
• I am love

Physical

• I am lean and strong.
• I run every day and continue to practice CrossFit and Pilates
• I can dance gracefully on any kind of music

Marital

• I have a wonderful husband that I love, admire and inspire and who loves, admires and inspires me as well. We live in Switzerland, of course. 

Parental

• -I'm still not sure if I want to have children but in case...- I am a loving and nurturing mother and I give a good education to my children

Social

• I have a group of friends with common values and aspirations. I see them regularly and we always have a great time together
• I take part to a lot of work and non work-related events and I network easily
• I have friends all over the world

Vocational (career)

• I have finally found what "being a healer" means for me 
• I do volunteering work in Burundi

Avocational (hobbies)

• I cook delicious meals for me, my family and my friends

Financial

• I'm debt-free!!!
• I have an emergency found and a saving account with six months of income
• I have profitable investments

Edited December 31, 2018 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I studied all day long and it was amazing!! I wish I had a time chamber like in Dragon Ball to study everything as thoroughly as I would like to.. Anyway I'm grateful and happy for the present situation. Today I realized that if I had to do it again I would choose medicine again!! 
• A former patient sent me his wishes for the New Year, thanking me again for taking care of him.. So sweet!!! 
• I was bold enough to ask the only survivor of my Tinder phase if he would like to actually be friends and he said yes!!

How could I have made today even better?

• Waking up earlier and running!!
• Being even more focused on studying.

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I did my first Pilates lesson of 2019. At a certain point I was a bit bored because some exercises felt a little too easy to me but then I remembered the "love the plateau" mantra and the fact that it's not about just executing the move, it's about doing it perfectly, every time. So there's always room for improvement, even with a "simple" knee push up. And, as always, that applies to life too!!
• The quote "Don't slam the door in the face of Providence". I went out with some friends this evening (aka *going out at least once a week* goal met!!! ) and one of them came out with this brilliant phrase answering to another who had said she had no problem eating onions as there was no chance she would kiss someone later.. 

How could I have made today even better?

• Studying.

Edited January 4, 2019 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I reached my studying goal of the day!!
• CrossFit. Always nice!!
• It didn't happen today but I forgot to mention it two days ago: I experienced a "runner high"!!  It was a great run and after finishing it I couldn't stop smiling!! 

How could I have made today even better?

• Going o with my "project translation". I decided to d some translation work as a kind of a side job so that I'll earn some extra money to catch up with the last two yeas of almost totally mindless spending and also having the chance to get better in French, English and maybe also in Italian. There's definitely always room for improvement.
• Waking up earlier.

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• There keep happening magical things while I run, who knew it was such an enlightening activity!!  Today at a certain point I pushed myself to keep going telling me "You won't die". And to the question "how do you know?" what I decided to be my consciousness answered "because I've been there and done that, I am everything and everyone that ever was and ever will be, don't you remember?!". I don't know if I'll ever actually experience enlightenment but I'm grateful for being familiar with the concept of Oneness.
• I reached my studying goal also today!!
• I planted my second real three on Forest!!! 

How could I have made today even better?

• Finally going on with project T (who knows, maybe if I give it a sexy name I'll be more prone to do it...)
• Waking up earlier..

What I learned:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” ― Calvin Coolidge

Every chapter of the emergency medicine textbook I finished today started with a more or less random quote this was one of them (just its first sentence..). Very true and also comforting. 

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I found an echography textbook on Scribd!! During the holidays I was so lucky that I found an app called "sweatcoin" where you accumulate "sweatcoins" based on the number of steps that you do outdoor, with those you then have access to different offers. With my first sweatcoins I got a two months free membership on Scribd and it has proved very useful until now, I'm currently listening to the autobiography of Michelle Obama and I've also listened to Shoe Dog on that platform.. As for written books I'm now reading "I will teach you to be rich" from Ramit Sethi, a very very useful guide!!!
• I'm beginning to familiarize with the Emergency Department. Today my tutor said I can't get sick because she needs my help (in a totally positive way..) I'm useful!!! 
• Talking about free stuff: I have a six months premium membership on Tidal!!! 
• I had dinner with a friend and on TV there was Corrina, on of my preferred movies ever!!! 

How could I have made today even better?

• Not sleeping in this morning.
• Being more calm at work.

What I learned:

• You live simple, you train hard and live an honest life. Then you are free. Eliud Kipchoge

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I have a good relationship with the people at the gym I go to. It's amazing seeing people smiling and stopping by for a quick chat when they see me!!
• Have I already mentioned how wonderful the book "Becoming" is?!? Because it is. I'm at the chapter titled "becoming us". Among the other incredible things she talks about how, when she and Barack met, she was totally immersed in building up herself and her career while he was also involved in social organizations aimed at improving other people's conditions. It's something I'm beginning to see in my life too.. Until now it's always been about myself. The real eye-opener was a documentary on Burundi I saw last week where they described a totally different Burundi from the one I experienced last year… Did you know that in 2018 Burundi was classified as the saddest country in the world!?!?! Not because people are more depressed there but for its ranking in things like income per inhabitant, corruption and so on... Consciousness itself is curative. And I'm beginning to be conscious. Good.
• Talking about consciousness: little by little I'm becoming more money conscious too!! Today I found out that I hadn't canceled my amazon prime account as I thought but then I was able to get it cancelled and also have the money back!!! A part of me feels bad about using my little brother's account but hey, he would pay it anyway!! 

How could I have made today even better?

• Waking up earlier. I think I should get up a soon as I open my eyes in the morning. Most of the times I wake up before the alarm goes off so I go back to sleep and when the alarm actually goes off it's the beginning of a never ending battle that I rarely win..
• Running!!

Quote of the day:

• "Hard work works. Working really hard is what successful people do." - Denzel Washington - Always a great reminder!!

Edited January 13, 2019 by Diane