Going full circle into the lower self

[Elton]

Man I have a heavy heart and a tight chest as I write this down...

My girlfriend just today confessed about sleeping with another man...  Her fiancé... My heart broke into million pieces and I felt like a big block of metal fell over my head and numbed my body... Although this is what I always wanted or not!  I'm not sure cause I could not marry her due to many reasons.

However when I had attracted her I was new into personal development and was in a very tough situation as I had flunked and wasted two years of my life and every girl would reject me..I had decided then I would never feel the same and would learn how to attract girls anywhere and anytime..

I did learn a lot about girls and now as I write this i have also attracted another girl but still I feel like a pusy when I heard that my ex had sex cause for two years I couldn't do it!!! 

  Yes I'm a 27 year old virgin who hasn't had sex yet... (only foreplay and oral sex)  

I had left smoking my biggest addiction for more then 6 months and now I've come back to it as though its fresh air to me...

Meditation which was the only thing that I could boast about in my personal development journey has come to a stop.

Life sucks like before, also I missed a flight from my company and now I fear getting fired my boss has a meeting with me on the 5 March

I fear ill health 

I fear loss of love 

I fear the opinion of others 

I fear death

I fear poverty 

I fear emptiness... 

Now I have lost motivation to even see Leo's vedios that was also something I would be proud of, learning something new.. 

The things that I've done in the past year if I ve honest about it my friends tell me that I need help... 

I don't need help guys I have this form I have actulized.org I have some crazy meditation techniques...  Please tell me I don't need help, please tell me I don't need help.

I feel like radically turning inwards and at the same minute I try and call someone who can console me... 

I feel like I have tremendous strength but the next moment I feel week and clumsy.. 

I feel empty, I feel broken, I feel depressed I feel like I should have never been born, I feel worthless I am just wipping myself with the frenzy.

I'm my lower self with a small l. 

It took time to reach here it happens slowly and steadily..

 

 

 

[egoeimai]

YOU ARE BACK !!!!!!!

DUDE!!!!!

ELTON!!!!! 

 

[Saumaya]

It'll be alright man. What doesn't kills you makes you stronger

[Shin]

Face your pain in your mind head on for 30 minutes once per week.

Go see a therapist.

Force yourself to meditate everyday.

 

Gonna be hard but you will go through.

[Nahm]

@Elton You’ll be fine, this too shall pass. Speed the turnaround up by getting all the help you can. Pride doesn’t purify or give clarity. Do everything you can, get all the help you can, be thankful for it. What has transpired sounds very hard, but be very careful not to keep beating up on yourself over it. Find some comfort in the now. Look around you, see that you are fine. 

[Elton]

@egoeimai hey Popi :-) relationships are such complicated things... 

Yesterday whole night I was working on myself in the train trying to accept the situation... 

I'll try and practice self acceptance throughout the week

[egoeimai]

5 hours ago, Elton said:

@egoeimai hey Popi :-) relationships are such complicated things... 

Yesterday whole night I was working on myself in the train trying to accept the situation... 

I'll try and practice self acceptance throughout the week

You got this, dude ! 

Its a matter of time and you'll get ovdr it , im sure, its not that difficult for u to overcome ?