learning to fear death

[alyra]

Hi this is the second time I am asking this question. I think I figured out how to ask it better this time. I am sorry if the question seems seemingly simple but I take a long time to set up the asking. Last time I asked this question I got a lot of people ignoring the question to tell me not to ask it.

 

I want to see what it is like to fear death. I don't think I have had that fear truly before in my life, and if I have, it slipped out of my memory, unnoticed. I want to see that fear of death, understand it, or at  the least, be able to compare life and death in a meaningful way. currently death has no meaning to me, and I do not fear it... I'm not really sure what to say.  

 

The methods for consciousness work I currently use limit how I can pursue that. I only practice Acitve Mindfulness, where I practice my awareness, or other mental skills, while being active throughout the day. When I spend time contemplating, it is during walks. Otherwise I am simply practicing returning to awareness as often as I can, and increasing my ability for it. This primarily comes from the statement, "awareness alone is curative" - compared with my need to be motivated and capable of taking action.

So, I will be walking when I contemplate the fear of death. That is the limit to what work I will be doing towards understanding or experiencing the fear of death. 

 

I tried comming up with ideas, tried contemplating it a few times, but I feel lost, and am looking for suggestions. I need a different angle, one that I have overlooked - and I've honestly got no angles at all. My best idea was to investigate the fleeting nature of life, but that has got me no where meaningful. 

 

 

Two questions, either or both, I am seeking an answer to: 

1. How can I contemplate the fear of death while walking, to either understand it, or experience it directly? 
2. What is it like to fear death? 

 

please do not get distracted by the following: 

• I am not going to run into the street or anything along that line. 
• I am not going to do any drugs.
• Those of you who think I shouldn't fear death, just leave. You only show your arrogance and uselessness as a peer to peer mentor if you fail to accept my simple and direct question. 
• don't try to talk about ego. 90% of the forums right now are obsessed with ego, and as such, the discussion is spam. I have ego. You have ego. It is what it is. Ignore it, if you cannot, then don't post here please. 
• similarly, 75% of the boards go on and on about enlightenment, consiousness, and nonduality on a level where they literally contradict themselves or other posts just to explore cleverness. I am not seeking that here. The neti neti method is not one I want to apply to my seeking the fear of death. 
• Please trust that I know what I am seeking and asking for, and answer one or both of my questions directly. Do not try to analyze who I am or try to argue against what I seek. 

 

again, sorry for the long post. TL:DR/summary - answer this question: "how can I fear death?" or this one: "what is it like to fear death?" - and don't go see it as anything other than a simple question. no drugs no ego no "you shouldn't fear death". I have a pursuit I want to test out to see where it leads me. I found myself stuck, not sure of how to pursue it. I am simply looking for some way to move forward in my pursuit. 

[TheEnlightenedWon]

 

[Shin]

Self-enquire a lot.

Do body scan energy meditation.

These two combined always make me have some kind of terror attack or a body death experience.

 

Also if you're a woman (not sure about this, but women in here will confirm or not), find a partner you trust 100%, and let him do crazy bdsm shit on you, like 0 control from your part (you can't even talk or see).

Edited February 24, 2018 by Shin

[Ether]

Just now, Shin said:

 

Also if you're a woman (not sure about this, but women in here will confirm or not), find a partner you trust 100%, and let him do crazy bdsm shit on you, like 0 control from your part (you can't even talk or see).

U into that, Shin?

[Saumaya]

@alyra Dude, you need to become conscious of your death not fear it. All fear is fear of no self.

I dont know who told you this stupid idea that you need to fear death.

Either you get this or youre chasing phantoms.

Also you have no right to say whether people should leave or not

[sarapr]

@alyra I didn't read the whole thing but try to imagine for a brief moment what it's like to cease existing .

Sometimes when I'm feeling so good and have an awesome time and want it to last forever I suddenly get the thought of what if I died right now and no one remembered me anymore and they would all continue their own lives and I wouldn't be there to enjoy. I used to think I wasn't afraid of death but at those moments I realize how pathetically afraid of death I am .

Also this other moment really made me in touch with that feeling : there was a very strong earthquake in the west of my country and all the houses were destroyed too many people died and with sth like earthquakes it really comes as a shock to see you could've easily died on this day. we don't live where all those people died but we felt the earthquake over here and it was nothing like I had experienced before, very frightening . nothing happened to us but hearing the news afterwards that a lot of people did actually die of that was even worse and the first thought I had was omg I'm never gonna care about petty stuff anymore cause I could die for real any fucking moment .

[alyra]

17 hours ago, TheEnlightenedWon said:

 

......... 

 

wow... this is... fuck. 

 

I.......

 

thank you for sharing this. 

 

that was so powerful. I don't even know what I could say to respect it. 

 

I come to realize the reality of the fact that I can never know the fear of death like that man did. If I would, I would not come out of it alive.. and if I did... I would wish I hadn't. 

 

When he asked for his mouth to be wiped that was so moving to see the humanity of the gesture. When he spoke his last words I cried. 

 

and this isn't even addressing the unprofessionalism of the execution. but how can we even incorporate that into death itself... 

[alyra]

@Shin lmao men and women can submit to crazy bdsm shit lolol  

thanks for the contemplation method advice. Stuff like that I am willing to do when needed and this is a good time to apply it. I'd need to plan my first "retreat" tho... maybe I will! 

 

@Saumaya if you still think it's necessary to tell me I shouldn't pursue the fear of death, you continue to misunderstand the validity in such a pursuit, and continue to ignore your bias against my perspective. I suggest you do some work to understand the variance in existence that we can never truly master. No matter what theory we learn, no matter what experience of consciousness we feel, we are inherently limited and can never truly understand the reality of the unlimited. Also, I have full right to say whatever the fuck I want. Just as you exercised your right to ignore it. So the fuck what? 

 

 

 

 

[Saumaya]

2 minutes ago, alyra said:

I have full right to say whatever the fuck I want. Just as you exercised your right to ignore it. So the fuck what? 

 

This is a community, you cant tell people to leave

4 minutes ago, alyra said:

if you still think it's necessary to tell me I shouldn't pursue the fear of death,

As is I said, you need to become a conscious of it, not fear it. Thats all

[alyra]

1 hour ago, sarapr said:

@alyra I didn't read the whole thing but try to imagine for a brief moment what it's like to cease existing .

Sometimes when I'm feeling so good and have an awesome time and want it to last forever I suddenly get the thought of what if I died right now and no one remembered me anymore and they would all continue their own lives and I wouldn't be there to enjoy. I used to think I wasn't afraid of death but at those moments I realize how pathetically afraid of death I am .

Also this other moment really made me in touch with that feeling : there was a very strong earthquake in the west of my country and all the houses were destroyed too many people died and with sth like earthquakes it really comes as a shock to see you could've easily died on this day. we don't live where all those people died but we felt the earthquake over here and it was nothing like I had experienced before, very frightening . nothing happened to us but hearing the news afterwards that a lot of people did actually die of that was even worse and the first thought I had was omg I'm never gonna care about petty stuff anymore cause I could die for real any fucking moment .

 

 thank you that's very clever, I never considered the contrast to death that is pure loss in enjoyment. happiness. thrill. any positive moment of our life... is that the sheer opposite of death? There's a lot of wisdom that I can contemplate there, when I am next able to .

 

oh... natural disaster... yeah. I am ashamed to realize that I just glaze over such news. I have never witnessed any devastating event, and hope I never will. I guess too I have sometimes thought of car accidents, or faced the fear of death when out and about, but my instinct has been to freeze up and forget what I shouldn't have control to enact (the kind of random thoughts or impulses of "if this happened, trauma would result" and it is an action I could actually take - not a wanting for an action but in realizing the truth of it, that is frightening. I have been automatically suppressing those and just now realize those are moments of fear of death too) 

 

I even heard this morning on NPR a man was interviewed who either is or used to be an NRA member, discussing the impact witnessing the aftermath of a shooting had on him... processing the actions that did not take place that could've or even should've been done... processing what he saw... this is one thing he said, a phrase he repeated three or four times and it really shook me up to hear it said. 

Quote

he said that - I wish I remembered it perfectly. but he said to see "children with bullet holes in them" was so reprehensible - something seriously wrong is happening if you see "children with bullet holes".

 

 

 

I actually also heard just yesterday someone said something about death.. was it "if you will probably not die within the next three to five years but you don't really know. It could be tomorrow, it could be a few years from now. It could be after a long life. You don't know. People mark their age according to their birth but if only we could mark our age according to our death."

Your comment is similar but opposite to that. To face the reality that we cannot know. We could die any moment. 

 

 

[alyra]

8 minutes ago, Saumaya said:

As is I said, you need to become a conscious of it, not fear it. Thats all

fear is consiousness, dumbass. 

[TheEnlightenedWon]

@alyra take a hike

[Shin]

6 hours ago, alyra said:

fear is consiousness, dumbass. 

No need to insult others

[alyra]

@TheEnlightenedWon indeed! thanks! 

[alyra]

After some of the discussion points I read this morning, and that video, I took a walk and... took another one too. 

 

it's odd how much shook up I felt today. not odd as in unexpected but, odd becuase... I felt a twinge of discomfort and depression coming at me between facing this discussion this morning, but also in my disapointment when I realized today wasn't monday yet. between the two my motivation I woke up with hit a brick wall - I mean naturally I managed to move forward as that's one of the things I'm working on. but, nonetheless - what was odd - was that despite feeling generally "eh" about the day after 11:am - every time I took a moment to check myself I was reminded of the video I saw this morning, and the perspectives the replies of this thread have offered for me. I don't really know what to say... it was as if I was emotionally hit by the experience and reflections, but at the same time I wasn't. that is why it was odd. 

 

I feel that I am actually moving now in my contemplation and active mindfulness work regarding this topic, so thanks to all who replied. 

[Flow With Life]

On 2/25/2018 at 5:28 PM, TheEnlightenedWon said:

@alyra take a hike

seconded. you need to put yourself in a survival-type life-or-death fight-or-flight situation. neither philosophy nor even meditation will stimulate the reptilian survival instincts like a hike or camping in nature!

[LRyan]

On 2/24/2018 at 5:18 PM, TheEnlightenedWon said:

 

This looks like a very bad movie.  

[alyra]

@Joseph Maynor thanks