done

[Patang]

done, my journey is done, i'm done, it felt like something was totally removed from me, like a heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders. i'm familiar with that feeling, when i continuously felt lighter, it happened before, but not this time, not like that. now i feel as if i could hover around, i'm totally not grounded, so to speak. years ago, the name by which i chose to be called, patang, which is a kite in sanskrit, symbolized me that i could fly anywhere, without being tied to anything. now however, no name can define me, nothing can define me.

i know the exact moment it happened. It happened a little after i answered a question asked by one of the members here (deep, as i recalled), what to do when you feel that the "self" has gone. before that, i felt that i was just before the end, on the verge of discovering something i had been looking for years now. i knew that by sharing my insights with you guys, i would be drawn toward the edge, so thats what i did.

as much as my dancing with each of you progresses, what was about to be unfold, was perceived crystal clear. the big picture of what was done here by me, in infinite details, is finally revealed to me now. the aftermath of it all, is perfectly closes into itself, and disappear into oblivion. everything that was done here, had to be done in the precise way it was done, shaped and reshaped in a perfect synchronicity.

is the way to enlightenment straightforward or easy? the answer is certainly not! everything i have ever knew is worthless now, everything i have ever been familiar with is useless now, every imprints and beliefs, every opinion, judgment and criticism, all my fears, all that was me, was thrown straight out of the window, torn apart and thrown into oblivion. it was a long and agonizing work sometimes, but then it was done effortlessly. it was a no-return journey to a place i only glanced at from time to time.

if you wish to see how reality is perceived in my eyes, then it looks like this. the visual (matirial) scene is much the same, but there is no event causality, events are not been triggered by other events. an event is just an occurrence, and it happens only in time and in a way that it should happen. looking back, i can see why is that so. all of this is just an illusion of all the possibilities in the inevitability field, which is the true nature of reality. there is no point, nor purpose or meaning to anything. no usual thoughts nor feelings, no questions nor answers, nothing to stand on, nothing to cling to, just gracefully hovering through the streams of occurrences, empty minded. no special powers, no happily ever after, just pure joy.

the most profound feeling i have right now, is that i don't care about anything at all, even writing these words suddenly seems hard to me somehow, i'm taking long breaks, and it takes me hours to do it. it's a little confusing because sometimes i feel like doing it, and sometime i simply don't. i don't care if i would drop dead right now, simply as that, knowing that a final death is not an option.

i'll probably still be available here from time to time, to share some insights, and to answer some questions. but i promise you nothing and i don't really know if it will happen at all. now i have to adjust anew to reality, which seems now much different from what it was.

love you all, unconditionally, just keep going and let go of it all. keep looking inside and you will find it, it was there all along.

[Neo]

 This emoticon bears no purpose other than ones I can think of retrospectively, which purposes I probably made up anyway, to give me a reason for doing it so there it is.

[Hsinav]

@Patang

Good to hear that you´re feeling great! 

[tsuki]

24 minutes ago, Patang said:

as much as my dancing with each of you progresses, what was about to be unfold, was perceived crystal clear. the big picture of what was done here by me, in infinite details, is finally revealed to me now. the aftermath of it all, is perfectly closes into itself, and disappear into oblivion. everything that was done here, had to be done in the precise way it was done, shaped and reshaped in a perfect synchronicity.

Welcome home @Patang. The cycle has completed itself! You can see it! Congratulations!

[Shin]

You use the word «I».

Clearly delusional, I'm calling the non-dual police ...

[Nahm]

@Patang ❤️

[tecladocasio]

1 hour ago, Patang said:

i knew that by sharing my insights with you guys, i would be drawn toward the edge, so thats what i did

Nice man ! Do you recommend writing things , like self-inquiring ?

[Patang]

@Neo didn't find any meaning for those emoticon as they are called. 
@Hsinav @tsuki @tecladocasio thanks. It's funny, because when i thank you, I'm actually thanking myself, and why should i? there is no purpose or meaning to that. OMG I'm talking nonsense already... madness is ahead...
@Shin the i belongs now to my fake personsa.
@Nahm infinite love as you familiar with.
@tecladocasio the information about self-inquiry is scattered everywhere on leo's site.
@Leo Gura leo, i had a different kind dance with you, a stormy one. thanks.

ahhh... if all is not enough, in fact, my english got improved a bit. haha

[Monkey-man]

What’s now? Just having fun and joy without purpose or... with some higher calling?  

[starsofclay]

@Patang and level 2 starts....... now. 

[Blissout]

Do you still suffer? are you able to suffer?

[tecladocasio]

@Patang I think you didn't understand my question , i'm not asking for self-inquiring tips , i wanted to know if you used writing as a practical practice , for example : writing realizations from your self-inquiry .

Thanks

[Patang]

@Monkey-man sheer joy without any purpose.

@starsofclay yes, the game continues, level 2...

@Blissout SHYLOCK: "If you prick us, do we not bleed?". of course there is a physical pain, but it's the body's pain, not mine. suffering is not a direct result of pain, but the interpretation given to it. suffering is a direct result of ego/mind activity (thoughts/feelings) triggering emotions within the body. suffering is not my share.

@tecladocasio the only time i used writing as a practice is here, by posting on leo's forums. it worked!

 

[Blissout]

Patang, when I say suffering I dont mean physical pain.

 

I mean mental/psychology suffering

Can you still feel worry of future outcomes and anxiety in general?

[Patang]

1 hour ago, Patang said:

suffering is a direct result of ego/mind activity (thoughts/feelings) triggering emotions within the body. suffering is not my share.

@Blissout that was my answer to you. the future does not exist.

[Joseph Maynor]

What was removed from you is the idea that you're in control of reality.  It makes me feel great that other people than me get to experience what no self feels like.  But when you live with no self, you gotta accept all of reality.  The Ego has long claws and a hard time with that one, so just be warned.   Ego will still be a part of your experience. Just consider all of it a dream, like Leo's video talks about.

 

Edited February 23, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Patang]

8 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Ego will still be a part of your experience.

i don't know how to refer to the ego/mind concept anymore, it is just a label for me.