intuitive writing

[dangerousSnail]

shamanic breathing is very very powerful

i did 30 minutes of breathing. then i had the bussing feeling all over my body. it felt like on the peak of a psychedelic trip.

i layed there and looked at my ceeling. feeling the weird feelings in my body. i fully felt this "dimension of experience." bodily sensations are one dimension of experience. then i noticed the stuff going on in "my mind." thoughts - the next dimension. then all these imaginations and the voice in my head. in these dimensions i could feel the ego located.

there are these two points in my body that i highly identify with. as if these points were the self, and very connected with the illusionary ego. the point on my chest where the heart chakra is and the feeling of the prefrontal cortex around the third eye chakra. these are somehow the points where the dimension of bodily sensation and the dimension of imagination get connected. this is where my ordinary sense of self comes from.

another dimension is feelings. they are similar to the bodily sensations but still very different. they kind of tell us how aligned we are with consciousness, honesty, truth...

i also noticed that most of the time i am just living in imagination and feelings. totally out of touch with my bodily sensations, purely in imaginationary land, analyzing stuff, conceputalizing, creating ideas...

see these dimensions for what they are. consciousness is "behind" that. the dimensions are experienced through consciousness at the same time, although they are completely different and have nothing to do with each other in the end.

after like 5 minutes this effect stopped slowly. i came back into "reality."

i did shaminic breathing now three times. two times i got into this state. once i had a no self-experience. this time i got quite a good insight, although i cant properly describe it. although the experience hasnt been that long its somehow more "productive" than the psychedelic experiences i had. but im not sure yet.

i will do more shamanic breathing...

just its quite energy draining. the lack of oxygen has its effect on my body.

Edited May 12, 2018 by dangerousSnail

[dangerousSnail]

throughout the last few months i have learned so much about personality. i got to know myself. "to know thyself..."

and without intention i got to clarify my life purpose without much effort. yesterday i read a post here about life purpose and i got this idea and inspiration. i assessed myself again after 4 months on my life purpose stuff. the results are similar, but still quite different, and feel much more authentic.

i always had this bias towards logical technical stuff, because thats the field that i am academically in. the emotional component was always missing. i somehow wanted to combine technology with emotional stuff, but no... i want to work with people, without technology. i am the natural psychologist or psychoanalyticer or whatever.

getting into touch with this true side of my life purpose feels empowering. i am back on the life purpose track and have motivation. i now slowly want to work towards that, but not neglect my technological work. its still valuable and brings safety. just in the long run i dont want to work in technology.

it makes me feel motivated to work on my "emotional skills." i firstly need to come out of my shell, learn how to connect with people, resolve my own blockages, learn vocal and social skills...

[ElenaO]

2 hours ago, dangerousSnail said:

throughout the last few months i have learned so much about personality. i got to know myself. "to know thyself..."

and without intention i got to clarify my life purpose without much effort. yesterday i read a post here about life purpose and i got this idea and inspiration. i assessed myself again after 4 months on my life purpose stuff. the results are similar, but still quite different, and feel much more authentic.

i always had this bias towards logical technical stuff, because thats the field that i am academically in. the emotional component was always missing. i somehow wanted to combine technology with emotional stuff, but no... i want to work with people, without technology. i am the natural psychologist or psychoanalyticer or whatever.

getting into touch with this true side of my life purpose feels empowering. i am back on the life purpose track and have motivation. i now slowly want to work towards that, but not neglect my technological work. its still valuable and brings safety. just in the long run i dont want to work in technology.

it makes me feel motivated to work on my "emotional skills." i firstly need to come out of my shell, learn how to connect with people, resolve my own blockages, learn vocal and social skills...

So have you figured out your life purpose? I am myself in the domain of technology and realized not too long ago that I wouldn't like to focus just on programming software. I would like to incorporate people into my work. 

 

[dangerousSnail]

On 5/12/2018 at 9:52 PM, ElenaO said:

So have you figured out your life purpose? I am myself in the domain of technology and realized not too long ago that I wouldn't like to focus just on programming software. I would like to incorporate people into my work. 

Kind of. Its still relatively vague and not specific. But I definitely know the direction. Im sure that over time the rest will clarify itself.

Yeah, I would also end up programming software if I follow this route . Its nice for a while but not fulfilling.

[dangerousSnail]

thank you shinzen young. your book "the science of enlightenment" is great. mindfulness and concentration is what i am missing...

[dangerousSnail]

the law of attraction

...fucking works!

[dangerousSnail]

building. a. strong. work. ethic.

...

[dangerousSnail]

career/life purpose or spirituality? this is here the question. the back and forth between the two has been distracting me so much these last years. i ended up getting not very far.

focus on one. stick with it. and be patient with it. then you will get somewhere.

what about 80% work, 20% spirituality?

it would be easy if i didnt have this mental condition...

 

goal for the month:

sticking with my habits that i have created on habitica.com

acing my one important work endavor

 

i like holosync...

[dangerousSnail]

im just too smart, oh nooooo